Scum smell

——What kind of mood does it feel to be beaten back halfway through pretending?

Ji Yao can say two words without hesitation: Damn it! ! ! !

It's true that the feelings of shit are beyond words, Ji Yao's whole body was numb, he was silent for a long time, trying his best to filter the memory in his mind, trying to figure out where the truth was.

Can't even coax Wen Lin, and want to entertain Yu Siyuan and Jiang Qiutong?It is more realistic for him to wash and sleep.

After thinking about it, I feel, no, isn’t this pretty good, what went wrong?

"... Xu Yeye told you?"

"Xu Yeye fell in love with Zhang He badly, and told me that Zhang He must break up with her, and she is not stupid."

"That's right." Ji Yao said awkwardly, "Then how do you know?"

Wen Lin picked up the coffee and took a sip: "A while ago there was a bar here. They said it was gay. I was curious, so I went to have a look."

Ji Yao almost didn't laugh: "You? Do you have feelings for gay?"

Wen Lin's expression was indescribable, he looked at Ji Yao: "Go to gay, I found two things."

"One, I only bend to you."

"Second, it turns out you're gay."

Ji Yao looked horrified: "What?"

Now the rhythm of the conversation is completely in Wen Lin's hands, Ji Yao actually wanted to struggle, but Wen Lin pinched his life, and he was powerless to resist.

Wen Lin's tone was still gentle and gentle: "I met a gay there. He was originally a closet, but because he was dumped by his ex-boyfriend, he has been completely let go. His name is Wei Lan."

He glanced at Ji Yao, and bent the corners of his lips without warmth: "Do you want me to continue explaining?"

Ji Yao: "........."

Ji Yao wiped his face, thinking why he has been exposed all the time recently, should he really restrain himself.Thinking about it, Ji Yao still spread her hands quite shamelessly: "But you definitely didn't know that I like to give people a cuckold before, now you know, it's not a loss."

After Ji Yao finished speaking, he wanted to applaud himself, but he actually said such shameless words frankly.

Wen Lin also glanced this way in surprise. At that moment, the feeling in his heart was so complicated that it was hard to describe.In the end, he laughed back angrily: "Should I thank you for not killing me?" This sentence has a bit of the feeling of when they got together and hooked shoulders to make jokes.

— After all, they have been buddies for so many years.

Unexpectedly, this bitch Ji Yao would be so good at climbing along the pole, he nodded seriously when he heard the words: "Of course, if I hadn't been merciful, there would already be a grassland above your head."

Wen Lin then stopped talking, and he closed his eyes, trying to calm down the surging emotions in his heart.

In fact, when Wei Lan first learned about this matter, Wen Lin found it difficult to accept it—it was not that Ji Yao was gay, but that Ji Yao was pretending to be a straight man in front of him. For so many years.He suffered from insomnia all night long, pondering over the details of their relationship in the past, constantly denying the answers he got.

how could be?how can that be possible?

In the end, it took him a long time, and finally he accepted it with difficulty.The reason for acceptance is also very simple.

Wen Lin asked himself, even if Ji Yao was such a person, would he still like him?

...the answer is yes.

He was full of resignation, helplessness and sadness, and in the end he still had to admit that even though Ji Yao had lied to him for so many years and teased his feelings like a cat catching a mouse, he still liked him.

Wen Lin is not stupid, he knows that it is intentional for Ji Yao to speak so badly, Ji Yao knows how to speak the most to hurt a man's self-esteem, he deliberately stimulates him, disgusts him, even humiliates him, so that he no longer likes himself.

He knew that Ji Yao did it on purpose.

However, he also knew that Ji Yao's words... were all true.

Ji Yao probably felt that liking someone may only be a momentary thing, so disliking someone may also be a momentary thing.After all, a person's head is not a computer, and he can clean everything up by clicking "Delete" with the mouse.

They have been together since the first year of high school, and they have been at the same table for three years, and then went to different universities, but they have not broken contact. Up to now, they have known each other for six years.

Six years, he is only twenty, how many six years are there in his whole life?

Even if he heard that Ji Yao was not a good thing at first, and his private life was so corrupted that he felt pain, anxiety, even humiliation and nausea, how could the feelings and memories that lasted for so long be erased so easily?Even now, Wen Lin can easily recall everything about Ji Yao just by closing his eyes.

OKbad.cry.Laughing.One scene after another, all of them, Ji Yao.

At the moment when he saw Ji Yao, he understood one thing very sadly - as long as Ji Yao is willing to reach out to him, he will follow without hesitation, even if there is an abyss in front of him, even if Ji Yao don't care.

He is a bitch, he admits it.

But what is even more sad is that Ji Yao is unwilling to reach out.

Ji Yao is still chattering: "I have had a boyfriend since I was in high school. When it comes to talking about the second or third one, I have sex with him. When I get bored, I will find another one. Sometimes I feel bored, so I just chase after him while talking. So, most of the time, I seem to have four boyfriends at the same time... Several times I thought, why don't I do something to you, but after thinking about it, it's better to forget-oh, let me tell you, you still I have too little emotional experience, I am a little tender, I have never held a girl’s little hand before, and I know what love is. When you see more in the future, you will know that you are so childish that you are outrageously childish. ! Don't cry!"

As Ji Yao was talking, when he looked up, he saw Wen Lin pressing his chest and frowning slightly. There was no superfluous expression on his gentle and handsome face, but tears were streaming down his face.Ji Yao panicked, and frantically tried to wipe away his tears, but he waved him away, lowered his head and wiped away his tears.

Wen Lin closed his eyes, as if he didn't want the other party to see him like this - especially after Ji Yao just made such a chilling self-analysis.He felt that his affection was mercilessly thrown to the ground, and was crushed face to face.

He seemed to have been stripped of his clothes and exposed to the broad daylight, stepped in the mud, and let the person he cherished the most judge him.

Shame and anger, despair and embarrassment.

He laughed at himself in his heart, because he was a fool when he received Ji Yao's call, and he was a fool when he saw Ji Yao waiting at the door. Is a complete fool.

He wanted to roar and walk away, but his good upbringing allowed him to suppress all these emotions.Thousands of words lay in his chest, but the last thing he said was just a soft sentence.

"...Ji Yao, do you really think that when you stab someone with a knife...others won't be hurt...?"

He seemed to be in excruciating pain, veins appeared faintly on the back of his hand pressing on his chest, and his voice was slightly trembling.

"That's right, it's not you that I fell in love with, but the you in my imagination, the washed-up you in my memory, it's my dedication and obsession, it's hard to say whether I love you or not, after all, I'm still so young , how do you know what love is?"

"...that's what you think, isn't it?"

Ji Yao pursed her lips and fell silent.He originally wanted to say whether it was none of my business, but he couldn't say anything.It's strange, he is obviously a hard-hearted person, but now seeing Wen Lin's tears, he doesn't know why, but also feels so sad.

He even thought, forget it, don't provoke him.However, it doesn't make sense to stop halfway through talking and stop halfway through doing things.Since he decided to do it, he will not regret it.

"..."

The two were silent for a long time, Ji Yao sat across from Wen Lin, looked at him with a sad face for a while, and then said cautiously: "How about... let's be friends with benefits? —— I have never had friends with benefits, this is for me It's really sincere."

If Wen Lin was more sad than angry just now, then Ji Yao's words would completely destroy him.

Wen Lin was so sad that he almost laughed out loud.He did smile, too.I saw him covering his face, as if he was extremely exhausted, even his back was arched, but finally he let out a wry laugh: "Ji Yao, do you really know what 'love' is?"

"Do you really know what 'I love you' means?"

"Do you really know that I put you on the tip of my heart, and I'm not even willing to touch you?"

He looked at Ji Yao, his eyes were extremely disappointed, and then condensed into despair that was so thick that it couldn't be resolved.

"You are too contemptuous of me, too contemptuous of yourself, and too contemptuous of this feeling."

"If you love someone, you won't treat him like this."

In Ji Yao's impression, Wen Lin has always been a very reserved person.The smile is very subtle, the eyes are very subtle, and the words are very subtle. The only time I indulged, I stopped halfway.He is like a modest gentleman who came out of an ancient book, his words and deeds seem to have been measured by a ruler, and every expression and movement is calm and restrained.

Ji Yao didn't think there was anything wrong with it, but it wasn't until Wen Lin said these words that he realized in a daze that this was the first time Wen Lin said seriously, I like you.

... No, it's "I love you".

After Wen Lin finished speaking, he stood up and planned to leave.Every minute and every second of staying with Ji Yao is suffering, he almost feels that he will suffocate to death in the next moment.However, when passing by Ji Yao, the corner of his clothes was gently grabbed.The force was not strong, but Wen Lin still stopped, and looked down at Ji Yao who was still sitting in the seat.

... He had to admit that at that moment, in his dead heart, there was still a hint of expectation.

Ji Yao frowned at him, still smiling like that, heartless and carefree: "It's okay, I just wanted to ask you, since we've said it, shall we still be brothers from now on?"

"……………………"

For about a second or two, Wen Lin's mind went blank, and he didn't think about anything.It's not that I can't think of anything, but that I don't have the ability to think.

Ji Yao's words were like the sharpest knife, for a moment, he thought he had already been killed.

After regaining consciousness, he was even a little dazed—it turns out that one person can really demean another person to such an extent.

He suddenly calmed down, stretched out his hand, and opened Ji Yao's fingers one by one, then picked up his unfinished cup of coffee, poured it on Ji Yao's head.

Under the shocked eyes of the entire coffee shop, Wen Lin said lightly: "You make me feel sick." After speaking, he strode out without looking at Ji Yao who was in a mess.

Although it's winter now, the sun is unexpectedly bright today.Wen Lin was bathed in the dazzling sunlight, as if coated with a layer of golden light.The past with Ji Yao comes one after another, they are densely crowded in my mind, endless.

He walked on the golden street, recalling all the way.In the memory, Ji Yao looked at him with a smile, wrapped his sweaty arms around his neck, and called his name repeatedly, the voice seemed to be right next to his ears, as if they were still teenagers.

"Wen Lin."

"Wen Lin?"

"Wen Lin!"

"Wen Lin~"

"Wen Lin..."

"...Mmm." He couldn't help it, and responded in a low voice like every time before.

Tears fell against the bright sun.

In the cafe, Ji Yao was stunned by a cup of coffee spilled, they flowed down his hair, ran across his cheeks, chin, neck, and finally seeped into his clothes, making him feel terribly cold.He wiped the stain on his face stupidly, the phone rang suddenly, it was Zhang He calling.

"How are you doing?"

Ji Yao took out a tissue and covered his eyes, then he raised his neck and said with a light smile, "Zhang He, I've finally done a great thing in my fucking life."

"You succeeded in breaking off with Wen Lin? One less crime, congratulations."

"That's right." Ji Yao tremblingly pressed his hand to the napkin on his eyes, and the corners of his mouth widened a bit, "But, the feeling of doing good... really sucks."

After hanging up Zhang He's phone, Ji Yao was stunned for a while, then seemed to remember something, picked up the phone again, and dialed a number, it was Yu Siyuan.

Yu Siyuan was working, and smiled as soon as he saw the caller ID, he answered the phone, and the voice of Ji Yao on the other end came over, full of energy as always, so that Yu Siyuan could imagine what was happening on the other end of the phone when he listened. Ji Yao, baring her teeth and claws, looks energetic.

"What, you're done? Is there anything wrong?"

"...God, I'm Ji Yao, so why worry about it? I've already taken care of everything, isn't it very six?"

Yu Siyuan couldn't help but curled the corners of his lips, and a smile swayed from the corners of his eyes and brows: "Well, six extremes."

brain hole.

Everyone in the world knows that Wen Shidu is a modest gentleman, gentle and elegant like jade, and acts the most prudent and well-behaved, there will never be any mistakes.

However, how could there be so many saints and gentlemen in the world, and he, Wen Lin, naturally belonged to Meng Lang.

At that time they were both teenagers, the emperor was not the emperor, but the prince; Wen Shidu was not Jinke Tanhua or Hanlin Academy attendant, but his companion.

At that time, he was already full of emotions, but because of his status, he couldn't reveal a little bit. The one he loved was by his side, going in and out together every day.

One time when they were doing homework together, the emperor was so sleepy that he unconsciously fell asleep with his arms under his head.He stared at it for a while, and then he was fascinated by it. He bent down and touched those two soft lips lightly.

The feeling at that moment was like stepping into a fairyland or falling into an abyss. His chest was burning hot, his hands and feet were numb, and it was obvious that his heart ached, but he was so happy that he shed tears.

The sage said, everything starts with love and ends with ceremony.He set himself up layer after layer of rules and etiquette, thinking that his intentions would not be revealed at all, but he still didn't hold back.

But the moment the lips touched...

It was so joyful.

So satisfying again.