Scum smell

Winter is always very cold, the cold wind is like a knife, scraping people's skin, there is always a feeling that it will tear off the flesh and blood.

Seven-year-old Zhang He stomped his feet, trying to drive away the numbness and coldness wrapped around his body.He came out of the vegetable market and hung the cabbage and eggs he bought on the handlebar of the bicycle.

This bicycle belongs to his father, and it is very tall, but fortunately, he has grown faster than his peers since he was a child, and he can ride it fairly neatly.

A child was sitting on the back seat of the bicycle. Compared with Zhang He, who was already an older child, he was much fairer and shorter.

Seeing him coming out, Ji Yao, who was also seven years old, quickly took out a card from his pocket.Those were the cards that came with the crispy noodles. Zhang He had already collected almost a set, and there was only one card left.

His eyes sparkled: "Look! I bought it just now while I was waiting for you, but it was taken apart!"

Zhang He felt annoyed when he saw him. The annoyance was not directed at Ji Yao, but the feeling of being unable to get rid of the burden.

Since he was in elementary school, he has gradually become this kid's nanny for no reason.

In the beginning, it was just the same as before, going to and from school together; then, they occasionally brought Ji Yao back to their home to play together; then they cooked for him by the way; now, Ji Yao has directly slept in his room.

Because the relationship between the two families has been good since he was born, this scene is very similar to before, and he didn't notice it for a while.After almost a year, he realized belatedly that he was raising a child.

Very upset.

Zhang He immediately called his parents and asked why he had been taking care of Ji Yao all this time.

His parents told him apologetically that because the two companies are now jointly doing business, they are really busy and have no time to spare.

Zhang He raised his voice eight degrees, and said, let the godfather and mother hire a nanny!

But I can't rest assured about asking for a nanny. Adults and children come and go, Zhang He failed miserably, and reluctantly accepted this trouble.

He was very upset, very depressed why he was born five days early—only five days!He is going to be a brother!Obviously this kid is the same age as him, so I have to give way to him, why?

And in the cold winter months when people are freezing to death, I can't go home quickly after school and catch up with "Detective Conan" on the TV station at six o'clock, but come here to buy vegetables.

Angry in his heart, he glanced at Ji Yao sullenly, and finally accepted the flattering card.

"I'll let you watch the car, don't run around next time." After finishing speaking, he turned over and got on the bicycle, carrying Ji Yao, cabbage, eggs, and two people's schoolbags, and went home against the freezing wind.

What a seven-year-old child can do is stir-fry leftover rice and eggs, chop cabbage and cook soup. It's not delicious, but it's full.

Zhang He stood on the ponytail and fried rice, while Ji Yao stood on tiptoe washing cabbage in front of the sink.

The child lacked control over his body, so the spatula tilted, and the unsolidified egg liquid wrapped in the rice fell on the stove.

Zhang He's face darkened all of a sudden, and he made up his mind to ask Ji Yao to clean up the kitchen today.Just as he was about to sue, he turned his head and saw that Ji Yao had already washed the dishes, his hands were red with cold, and he was looking at him eagerly.

Zhang He felt that this person was making a fuss: "You are stupid, don't you know how to turn on the water heater?"

Ji Yao said awkwardly: "...forgot."

In fact, it's not that I forgot, it's that I'm embarrassed.

When his parents were away, Ji Yao basically lived with Zhang He.The godfather and godmother are very good people, and they never accept money from his family, but it is even more troublesome.

Parents are rarely at home sometimes, and they will always repeat in front of him tirelessly, "Look at how kind Brother Ahe treats you, he is obviously the same age as you, and he even cooks for you", "Your godfather and godmother won't take money, It treats you as a family member, so I have to repay them in the future, you know?", "They are kind-hearted, so you can't rely on others to be self-willed, and you can't cause trouble"...

The little Ji Yao understands these principles very well, and implements these instructions from small things, and never wastes water, electricity, and electricity.

Zhang He knew what he was thinking, and sneered: "I feed you three meals a day, is there still a little hot water?"

Ji Yao didn't know what to say, he was always short of breath to Zhang He.He could only pretend to be stupid and show a bright smile.

Zhang He lost his temper again.

He kicked Ji Yao out of the kitchen: "Get rolling."

While eating, Ji Yao was listless.Holding the bowl, Zhang He watched Conan, who had shrunk, point out the murderer, and glanced distractedly at him.

"what happened?"

Ji Yao shook his head.

Zhang He reluctantly shared his snacks and went over, observed for a while and said, "Don't want to eat cabbage soup with fried rice?"

Ji Yao hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

There is nothing to eat in winter, only cabbage and tomatoes. Zhang He doesn't know how to cook meat. The recipe of the two is cabbage, tomato and eggs, and they have been eating them for four consecutive days.

Zhang He's anger came up again: "If you don't want to eat, just say it!"

Seeing that he was angry, Ji Yao quickly took a few mouthfuls of rice, and she said sweet words: "It's very delicious! It's super delicious! This is my favorite food!"

Zhang He is annoyed by Ji Yao.

In fact, their interests are not very compatible. He likes to play football and games outside, and Ji Yao is quieter. He likes to be alone, but clings to him.Zhang He has been used to being clingy since he was a child, and he has no dissatisfaction, but sometimes he finds this kid annoying.

It would be fine if Ji Yao wasn't so obedient.Occasionally Zhang He would also think about it.

When he made an appointment with his friends to "do bad things" together, such as skipping classes to play football, swimming in the river, going to the game hall, going to the Internet cafe... Before that, he would always ask Ji Yao "whether or not".

He actually wanted to get a negative answer, but Ji Yao's answer was "Go" every time.

I didn't play when I went there, just watched him play.

To be honest, it was a disappointment.

But Ji Yao is really too obedient, Zhang He is not short-tempered, he is even very reasonable, facing Ji Yao like this, he can't get angry.Sometimes he even thought that it would be nice if Ji Yao would talk back to him.

Facing Ji Yao who was obediently eating, Zhang He wanted to beat him up.

In the end, he just pulled the rice bowl out of Ji Yao's hands helplessly: "If you don't want to eat it, don't eat it. Get lost and go to instant noodles."

The aroma of instant noodles is an unspeakable temptation for children, Ji Yao swallowed his saliva, and happily went to instant noodles.

The tea table in front of the TV has been cleared out, and the two children are each holding a bowl of instant noodles, watching cartoons with relish.

This scene, even ten years later, when the parents have a successful career and they live in a villa, it still remains the same.

17-year-old Ji Yao sat on the carpet in Zhang He's room, sipping on instant noodles, and asked Zhang He: "Godfather and mother want to move, why?"

Zhang He on the lazy sofa scratched his head, a little confused: "I don't know. My mother suddenly asked me yesterday that I have lived in this house for so many years, do you want to change it to a bigger one?"

Ji Yao said "ah", "Then shall we still be neighbors?"

Zhang He picked a sandwich and sucked it into his mouth, and said rationally: "It should be impossible."

Ji Yao was silent for a while, slowly drank all the noodle soup, and then said: "Then I have to buy a carpet."

Ji Yao likes to sit on the carpet, but Zhang He doesn't.His legs and feet are too long, and when he sits on the carpet, he always feels that his muscles and bones cannot be stretched.

Unexpectedly, Zhang He, who was not as good as a carpet, was a little angry. He stretched out his long legs and kicked Fa Xiao who was sitting at his feet.

Ji Yao smiled and dodged, but Zhang He kicked the opponent again unwillingly.Now stepping on Ji Yao's back, the other party hurriedly protected the instant noodle bucket: "The soup is about to be spilled!"

Zhang He said unhappily, "Is this the only reaction you have?"

Ji Yao glanced at him, and laughed happily: "Didn't you want to embrace a new life a long time ago? Hey, you don't know how long that face can be stretched when you were cooking for me when you were young."

Zhang Heli was very confident: "Can I be upset?"

Ji Yao nodded and bowed: "Yes, yes, of course you can. So this is an opportunity."

It will be Zhang He's turn to stop talking.

Ji Yao frowned, and the eye circles were a little red, but the smile seemed to be engraved on the corner of his mouth, firmly stuck to his face.

"Anyway, even if you move away, we're still good buddies."

Many years later, Wen Lin once commented on Ji Yao's mask-like expression, saying that it was a broken smile that was clearly about to cry, but it was very pitiful.

Zhang He was the first audience of this mask.

——He is always Ji Yao's first time.

The tall boy silently watched Fa Xiao under his feet, and after a while he sighed with a headache.

"Tsk..."

A week later, Zhang He did not move out.

One month later, Zhang He still hasn't moved out.

A year later, Zhang He still did not move out.

The two teenagers coincidentally seemed to have forgotten about this matter and blurred it out.

The more you care about something in your heart, the less you dare to mention it.

Because I am afraid that I will lose it the moment I speak, it is better to keep the situation vague.

It wasn't until he was in the third year of high school, when it was time to fill in the college entrance examination, that Ji Yao asked casually, "...Speaking of which, didn't you guys want to move at that time? Why didn't you move?"

Zhang He didn't answer but asked instead: "Where did you fill in your volunteers, is it B University?"

Ji Yao covered the volunteer form to prevent him from reading: "You go! I want to escape from the rule of the Great Demon King!"

——If you really wanted to run away, why did you show that expression?

Zhang He couldn't figure it out.

After handing in the application, he stopped Ji Yao from the school committee behind his back, and found out that Ji Yao's application was A University.

... So, he really doesn't understand what Ji Yao is thinking, why he always does things that are contrary to what he thinks in his heart.

According to Ji Yao's wish, he copied a copy.

Their admission notices were sent home at the same time. Zhang He still remembered Ji Yao's shocked expression at that time.

In my impression, it was the first time Ji Yao got angry at him.

Zhang He wasn't angry, he just felt strange. He looked down at Ji Yao's eyes that were shining with anger.

Then where is the anger, it is obvious that little stars are about to flash out because of satisfaction and happiness.

'Why are you getting angry again? '

'Aren't you happy? '

Now too.

The mountain wind was blowing, Zhang He put his hands in his pockets, and looked down at Ji Yao who was rushing up, panting.

Why is this person, never able to express himself well.

At the moment when he saw him, Ji Yao was so happy that he couldn't find Bei, but the expression on his face seemed to be about to cry.

Ji Yao also had a similar confusion.

Zhang He is too fascinated in Taifo, saying one more word is like killing him.Even if they were young, sometimes Ji Yao couldn't understand what he was thinking.

Zhang He showed Ji Yao's familiar expression - he frowned and looked at him deeply: "You think, I shouldn't come?"

The man is tall and handsome, with a healthy light brown complexion, short stubble hair, a high nose bridge, and straight lip lines. When he stares at you, it seems that his heart is on you.

Ji Yao almost forgot to breathe.

He made this person small, really...

He thought of when he was pressed under a tree for a kiss in the first year of high school. It was the first time he kissed someone outdoors. He was scared and excited, and then he saw Zhang He standing not far away, staring blankly. He then frowned, stepped over aggressively, and knocked the man to the ground with a punch.

He thought of the time when he secretly went to open a room with someone, it was his first time, both of them were inexperienced, and they were in a mess.Zhang He called and asked where he was, then knocked on the door with a dark face, carrying a bagful of medicines, grabbed the man by the collar, threw him out, and scolded him bloody .

He thought of him taking a certain person to play with Zhang He, everyone drank some wine in the evening, he was in a daze, fooling around with that person on the small carpet, when he looked up, he saw Zhang He standing on the balcony , quietly waiting for him to finish.

The wind blows in, and the gauze curtains on the window sill are layered on top of each other, rolling in the moonlight like smog, hazy, half-covering the other party's figure.

The men around him come and go, only Zhang He is always by his side.

——The more you care about something, the less you dare to reach out, because you are afraid that it will break if you touch it.

Ji Yao seemed to have become an idiot: "I, I don't know..."

He is always like this, pretending to be at a loss, relying on Zhang He when there is Zhang He, and relying on Zhang He if there is no Zhang He, the men just refuse to come up with their own ideas.

Where does he not know?He just selfishly gave them the right to choose and wanted to evade responsibility.

Zhang He used to scold him for white lotus green tea, but Ji Yao was still angry, saying that he was not that kind of person.Where is he not?He just has a higher rank, fooling himself and everyone else.

Including this time too, Jiang Qiutong doted on him too much, Yu Siyuan, Wen Lin and even Xu Yeye loved him too much, they jointly gave Ji Yao a big gift.In the end, Ji Yao was the one who was dumped, the one who didn't know anything, he was the one who suffered the most.

Those victims in turn comforted him, saying that you have worked hard.

——How can there be such a cowardly and selfish person in the world?

Zhang He took a deep breath, resisting the desire to beat him up.He bent down slightly, put his hands on the other's shoulders, and looked at Ji Yao at the same level.

Ji Yao almost trembled.

"Ji Yao, listen carefully, I will only say these words once."

"You are important to me. Very important. More important than myself."

"........."

After Ji Yao was silent for a long time, he suddenly smiled, "I'm such a trash."

Zhang He couldn't get used to Ji Yao's appearance.

He really couldn't understand why a group of big men insisted on dying for love. Did he and Xu Yeye say anything?

He ignored Ji Yao's face full of unbearable and resistance, and said to himself: "So don't ask me, ask yourself. Ji Yao, I ask you, do you want to be with me?"

Ji Yao seemed to be enduring some pain, and suppressed: "—but you don't like me!"

"You just answer me, think, or don't want to."

"If...if I said 'yes'...would you be with me?"

"Answer my question first - by the way, let me say something in advance, if you answer 'yes', then Ji Yao, your group of aunts and wives, I will never let you see them in my life. I can do it, Ji Yao, You know it."

Just as Ji Yao plucked up the courage to speak, he suddenly lost his mind.

He was at a loss and just looked at Zhang He.It was like a brave man walking all the way, looking at the helpless big devil at the end.

Ji Yao looked too embarrassed, it seemed that he had been irritated quite a bit before.

Zhang He looked at Fa Xiao's appearance calmly, and his heart twitched.

Blame me too.

he thinks.It's also my fault that I can't bear to be cruel, even though I know what kind of rotten person this is, I still indulge him.

Hardened, Zhang He continued: "If you answer 'don't want', then...then—"

He suddenly couldn't continue.

Even if it is the most sober one, even if he understands the truth, it is still unbearable when it comes to his head.

He rolled his Adam's apple a few times, but there was nothing he could do to say that sentence.

pain.

It hurts too much.

His aura was completely vented, and finally he gave up on himself and said: "...Anyway, you understand."

I understand, of course Ji Yao understands.

Choose one of the two, he can't be so greedy, he can only get one side.

But he delayed for so long, he just didn't want to choose!Making a decision is already too much, why do you have to force him to do it himself?

He has been waiting for others to make choices, make a break, let go, not let go, 3P, live together, part ways and become friends again, he has never really taken a step.

He didn't want to be the one who took the initiative to pick up the scissors and cut off the fate.

The more you cherish something, the more you care about something, the less you dare to speak, the less you dare to reach out, because dreams will be broken sooner or later.

After all, he is such a rotten person, he knows what his end will be, even if he is full of beautiful flowers now, he will be nothing but ruins in the future.

If he reaches out, if he tries hard, how much pain will he have when it's over?

So no matter how persistent Wen Lin stretched out his hand, how affectionate Yu Siyuan's kiss was, and how hard Jiang Qiutong hugged, Ji Mao's answer would always be "as long as you are satisfied".

Zhang He slowly let go of his shoulders, and looked at him disappointedly: "Coward."

"Ji Yao, you are really the most cowardly coward I have ever seen in my life."

"..."

Ji Yao closed her eyes, unwilling to see Zhang He's eyes, let alone see him leave.

He thought to himself, he is such a coward, and there is nothing he can do.

He heard Zhang He's footsteps leaving.

Are you going to give up on him?This is...not surprising at all.

"Ji Yao, open your eyes."

Zhang He's voice came not far away.

Suddenly great joy rose in Ji Yao's heart.He opened his eyes.

But he saw Zhang He standing outside the railing, his body trembling in the mountain wind, as if he would fall off the cliff in the next second.

"Zhang He——!!!!"

At that moment, it was as if his brain was crushed, his heart was crushed, and his blood was burned dry. Only his legs and feet were his own. He ran towards the man standing on the edge of the cliff desperately.

"--do not come!"

Zhang He's yelling made Ji Yao stop, he stopped ten steps away, broke down and cursed: "What the hell are you doing?"

The wind at the top of the cliff was not too strong, but it was enough to shake the branches.Zhang He looked back at Ji Yao amidst the hunting wind, showing a happy smile of "I won".

"Choose one. I'll give you 5 minutes. If you don't choose, I'll jump from here."

As he said that, he took out his mobile phone and started counting the time in a serious manner.

"No, I'm the one who doesn't want to live. Why do you want to? It's none of your business!? Get the hell out of here!"

Ji Yao was furious, and he scolded Zhang He at the top of his voice: "You idiot, do you think you are acting in some TV series? I think the godmother should slap you awake!"

Zhang He didn't speak, just looked at his watch, and when he was out of words, he said, "There are still three minutes."

Seeing that the man had no intention of turning around at all, Ji Yao really panicked, he realized that Zhang He was serious.

He moved over cautiously, trying to drag Zhang He away, but the place where the other party was standing was too dangerous, Zhang He's motor nerves were more developed than his, and he was afraid that if the two of them pulled, it would be a bad thing.

He began to show weakness.

"Isn't it Zhang He? You don't really want to dance, do you? ——Can you come here first? Please, come here first, let's talk slowly."

Ji Yao was going crazy.He only thought it was absurd, absurd, and absurd, not to mention that Zhang He really jumped off the cliff, even seeing the current scene was unbearable for him.

Zhang He looked at him deeply, deeply, still frowning.

"You coward, scum, liar, if you are not forced, you will never grow up. It's just a choice, is it difficult?"

Ji Yao really panicked, this is not a matter of making choices, it is Zhang He who wants to commit suicide because of his mess!

He laughed in horror: "You won't really jump off a cliff because of this kind of thing, Zhang He?"

"Ji Yao, you really don't understand how important that 'very important' is." Zhang He took a deep breath, "Don't make me repeat this so many times, it's disgusting."

Then he smiled again, revealing a pair of deep and sweet dimples: "I may jump, or I may be lying to you. It depends on how much you treat me, so what do you guess?"

As he spoke, he glanced at the time: "There are still 2 minutes."

Ji Yao didn't want to guess, he just wanted Zhang He to come back, but Zhang He ignored him.

"Think. Choose. Choose. What you have to do is this—tell me, do you want to, or don't you want to?"

1 minutes left.

If you want to, just make a clean break with the past and give up all those who have entangled with him and those who love him.

If you don't want to, just...

At once--

At once------

Ji Yao hugged his head and yelled in a broken voice: "—I don't want to ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

He cried until he was suffocated, fell to his knees exhausted, and beat his chest hard. The pain there made him tremble, and he had never felt such pain.

Zhang He stepped into the railing and slowly walked in front of him, his eyes were also red.

"...Look, isn't this very well done."

He also seemed to have lost his strength, and imitated Ji Yao and sat on the ground.

"..."

Ji Yao curled himself up into a ball, like a hedgehog with thorns standing upright.

Regardless of the spikes on the hedgehog's back and his own bloody fingers, the man gently pushed aside the hedgehog's hidden belly.

Then hugged the hedgehog.

Ji Yao tugged at the corner of his clothes, weeping uncontrollably: "Too much...too much...you big devil, perverted shaking S, tyrant..."

Zhang He: "Yes."

"From now on, when I'm walking on the road, I'll pretend I don't recognize you...and when I pass by Zhou Heiya's shop, I'll pooh twice—you're just...so annoying!"

Zhang He: "Yes."

"I absolutely don't want to play online games anymore... I don't need to practice basketball anymore... I don't have to be afraid of staying in bed in the future... being dragged up by you... Hahahaha... I'm free!"

Zhang He couldn't help it any longer, he sucked his nose hard, and let out a crying tone: "...Yes, you are free."

Ji Yao hugged Faxiao's neck silently: "I...I...I really...I...love...love...you so much."

"……I……"

Zhang He opened his mouth to speak, but finally swallowed the words back.

After a long time.

"Zhang He, I have made a choice."

"Ah."

"Will I be a good man like you?"

"Ah."

"Then..." Ji Yao couldn't make a sentence, "I... am your pride...?"

Zhang He pushed the man into his arms, and he closed his eyes: "Yes."

Ji Yao murmured: "This is enough."

It should be midsummer, the season with popsicles, cicadas, scorching sun, and grass with vigorous life.

Or maybe not, because that's really a very, very early memory.And memory will always be beautified again and again.

The young Zhang He and Ji Yao had just finished a fight.

Ji Yao was so angry that he slammed the door loudly: "This big devil! Shaking S! Tyrant! Go eat shit!"

Zhang He originally left by him, but when he heard the words, he rushed over again, pinned him down on the ground and beat him: "Can you say the last sentence again?"

Ji Yao gave up on himself: "You shit!"

Zhang He grinned: "Believe it or not, I'll push your head into the toilet for you to eat?"

Ji Yao was so frightened that he yelled: "Wait, no one likes you! I'll be the only one who will take care of you when you get old! When the time comes, I'll feed you rotten rice!"

"Thank you so much, dear son."

"Go away! I want to move! I want to move!"

"Who is it that keeps saying 'I want to be opposite to Brother Ah He for the rest of my life'..."

"Tch, that's your hallucination!"

Ji Yao tidied up his mood, clothes and face, and raised a smile that was the same as usual.

"I'm going to chase those guys, maybe I can catch up now, please cheer for me, brother Ahe."

Zhang He folded his arms and stood behind him, watching him silently.

"...Come on, little boy."

"I'm leaving, bye."

Zhang He's eyes were astringent, and he suddenly let out a loud roar——

"Ji Yao!!!!"

Ji Yao turned her head, looked at him, and smiled.

That smile turned out to be very bright.

"Thank you," he said.

——End of full text——