cactus on bay window

It was past two o'clock in the morning when Ling Guo contacted me, instead of calling me, he sent a text message: Are you asleep?I'm out of the hospital.

Of course I didn't sleep, how could I sleep?After seeing the text message, I immediately called: "I'll pick you up."

"No, take a taxi. Where can I find you?"

"Come to my house, I'll text you the address."

"Ah."

At this time, there were no cars on the road, so within about 10 minutes, I heard a knock on the door.I sat in the living room waiting for him after the phone call, so I got up and opened the door as soon as I heard the knock.

He didn't seem to expect me to open the door so quickly, and he was taken aback. After he collected himself, he looked at me with tired and swollen eyes, and sighed, "I feel like I'm about to fall apart."

"Come in quickly." I pulled him in and smelled the strong smell of disinfectant on his body. "Take a bath and relax first. I asked Yue Yang to ask for leave for you. You can sleep until any time tomorrow."

"Well, but I didn't change my clothes."

"You don't think I can lend you to wear."

"You have to wear it if you don't like it, or I'll be naked?"

I laughed: "I'm still in the mood to argue, it seems that my spirit hasn't broken down yet."

"As for the collapse? My grandma didn't die accidentally, she has been in poor health for a while."

"It's good that you're fine." I brought him a change of clothes and handed them to him, and then I dug out a new unopened toothbrush.

He gave me a weird look when he took the toothbrush, and I quickly explained: "Yueyang comes here sometimes, and the toothbrush I used before didn't work for a while and I don't want to use it anymore, so I prepared a lot of new ones for him .”

"I didn't say anything." He smiled and walked into the bathroom.

Yes, what should I explain to him?Is there no silver 300 taels here?Even if I bring some man back, he doesn't care.

I shook my head and sighed. I felt that today was a bit too much, and I was worried about him, sad for him, and afraid that he would misunderstand me.

Ling Guo washed it very quickly, and it came out in 10 minutes. She was wearing my pajamas and pajamas, which fit quite well, not at all like the one I borrowed.

I stood up from the sofa and said: "You sleep in the room Yue Yang usually lives in. He only used the bedding a few times, and I didn't change it, but it's all pretty clean. I guess you can't dislike him."

"Well, I want to wash the clothes I changed." He held his own clothes in his hand.

"Give it to me, the washing machine is on the balcony of my bedroom." I took it and walked to my bedroom.

When I threw his clothes into the washing machine and pressed the timer to return to the bedroom, Ling Guo was standing at my door and watching me.

"Why don't you go to bed? What time is it?"

"I won't be able to sleep for a while."

"If you can't sleep, go to the study and play on the computer."

"Don't you want to talk to me?" He said and walked in.

"Ling Guo..." I looked at him in embarrassment, and whispered, "It's already very late."

"I know, but I want to talk to someone." He looked at me sincerely and sadly.

"Okay." Defeated by his eyes. "Just say what you want, and I'll listen."

"Then...is it in your room or in Yueyang's room?" He walked to my bed and stood down.

"Let's talk on the sofa in the living room." I was about to go out.

"No, I want to lie down and say, I'm so tired." After he refused me, he fell down on my bed without waiting to speak, and lay on his back.

I sighed, and since he lost his family today, I couldn't be rough with him, so I walked to the other side of the bed and lay down too. "Speak, what do you want to say?"

"You...have both parents?" He asked, staring at the ceiling.

"Both."

"Is everything good to you?"

"good."

"I've never told anyone that I'm particularly envious of families with both parents who can live a good life. For example, my elder brother's family is my aunt's son. Xiaoxian is a very happy child. When I see him, I will think of' The word "flowers of the motherland". My grandma and grandpa have fought all their lives. Grandpa has been away for more than ten years. Grandma has never mentioned him in front of me. I reckon there is no relationship between them. My aunt is divorced. It's been almost 20 years. Not to mention myself, I haven't even met my mother, and my father is like that. You said, I want to have a happy family, is it normal?"

"normal."

"But... I just don't like women, so I just can't figure out how I can have a normal family. I don't have a mother, and it's the same as having a father. I don't have both parents, and I can't have a normal family. A woman creates a family and makes herself the father of a child who has both parents. Sometimes I am so conflicted, I feel hopeless when I think about it. You know that feeling? The feeling of despair?"

"know."

"My grandma always hoped that I could get married and have children early. He didn't know that I liked men. I dared not tell him. I was afraid that she would be angry and that she would not want me. I really depended on her. As long as she was alive, I would There is a sense of steadfastness that no matter how much wronged I suffer outside, someone will comfort me, although if I really suffer wronged, I won’t tell her. She didn’t know her wish until grandma left, and I would never be able to fulfill her wish. In fact, I really wanted to tell her, I really wanted to . . . but I couldn't, and I didn't want her to die disappointed."

"I know."

"Actually, my aunt knows about me. She doesn't care about me, but she told me that no matter what, I can't let my grandma know. I understand what she means. She respects my choice, but she doesn't allow me to hurt grandma. Today grandma After leaving, my aunt said something to me, which made me feel very uncomfortable. She said, your grandma is gone, and you can finally be free. I feel her words are like I hope grandma will go, for myself I am no longer bound, looking forward to my grandma leaving. In fact, I have never thought about it this way, never.”

"I know."

"Now that my grandma is gone, I will no longer have worries and burdens, will no longer restrain myself, and will not hide my nature and desires, but I will feel guilty and feel very sorry for grandma. I I don't know when this sense of guilt will disappear, I'm afraid... it will never disappear."

When he said this, there was a long silence.

I glanced sideways at him, and he was still staring at the ceiling without blinking.

I sat up and looked at him. "Ling Guo, you think too much. In fact, almost every family has the expectation of your grandma, but if everyone has to live according to the wishes of the older generation, the world will not be so colorful. Their The original intention of the wish is good, but it may not be suitable for the next generation. Everyone should live according to their true wishes. So how you choose your own life has nothing to do with your grandma, and you don’t have to feel sorry for her. She just doesn’t understand It's not because you don't love you, so don't think about it. Don't pay too much attention to what your aunt said, maybe she is really doing it for your own good. "

Then he looked at me and said: "I always feel that it is disrespectful to grandma to openly like men as soon as grandma leaves."

I asked puzzledly: "Then you just take it easy, do you have to hurry? It's not that you can't live without a man, didn't you hold back when your grandma was around?"

"I can't hold it anymore." He said, sat up suddenly, then hugged me, and then pressed his lips to my mouth.

My unexpected mind was like being hit by a big hammer, and I could almost hear a "bang".Although I had all kinds of impure thoughts about Ling Guo, I never thought about what to do with him.Suddenly being hugged like this and kissed by him again, my impure thoughts were frightened away in an instant, leaving only panic.

Seeing that I didn't respond, he raised his head to look at me, and asked cautiously and depressedly: "You...don't like me?"

I looked at him, not knowing how to answer.Say you don't like it, it's against your will, you can't say it, say you like it, and continue?I couldn't do it, and I wasn't mentally prepared for it.

"Whether you like it or not, tell me!" He was a little annoyed.

"I..." I looked at him hesitantly, and replied hesitantly, "I can't like you."

He was really angry: "What do you mean you can't like me? If you like me, you like it. If you don't like it, you don't like it. It doesn't matter. Don't tell me that you suddenly like women again!"

"That's not..." I lowered my head, not daring to look directly into his eyes. Unexpectedly, I have known his little thoughts for a while, but once I really faced his undisguised expression of emotion, I unexpectedly Can't face him.

"Is it..." He suddenly calmed down, and asked nervously, "Do you have someone you like?"

I shook my head helplessly, and when I looked at him again, I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. "Ling Guo...I...like you very much, but...my family situation is different from yours. Your grandma is gone, but my dad is still alive, and he is tough."

He understood, frowned and looked at me with distress, and asked in a low voice, "Your dad knows?"

"Ah."

"Does Yue Yang know?"

"I don't know yet."

"Is your father very firm?"

"Ah."

"Then you plan to..."

"I don't know how to find a woman, but I don't intend to find a man either."

"Then you plan to live alone for the rest of your life?" He cried out in surprise and angrily.

"So far it seems... yes."

"Yue Jiao! You can't do this!" He held my shoulders and shook me: "How did you persuade me just now? How come you are such a helpless result?"

"This is what I want."

"Nonsense? Are you stupid? How can you live this kind of life willingly? Don't lie to me, I don't believe it. You must have something to hide, right? If you don't want to say it, I won't force you to say it, but don't say it, I heard...it's really...very uncomfortable." As he spoke, he couldn't help sniffing, and his eyes were wet.

Seeing him crying for me, I couldn't help it anymore, I didn't care about anything, I rushed to hug him, found his lips, and kissed him.This time, we kissed for real, with our mouths open, our lips wriggling, our tongues touching each other, sucking and biting each other.

I can't remember how many years I haven't kissed. I thought I would never feel any more. I didn't expect to touch his lips with his lips, and the tip of his tongue. There is an illusion that this is the first kiss, it is simply wonderful.

Now that I have kissed, enjoy it. I kissed him without any distractions, enjoying the feeling of flying, but I was put down on the bed by him unconsciously, and then when he pressed the whole body on me, my lower/body I didn't realize where I was until it was hard/hard against me.

I suddenly pushed his face away, looked at him and asked in surprise, "What are you doing?"

"Are you asking knowingly? Kiss you!" He stared at me.

"Kiss, just kiss, take that thing away and face me."

He smiled: "You said that when I kissed you, if the thing didn't face you, wouldn't you be surprised?"

"You! Get up!" I pushed him again.

"I haven't kissed enough yet." As he spoke, he pressed his lips down again, and then stretched out his hand to my waist and touched it down while saying vaguely: "Let me touch you...do you respond? .”

"Don't touch me!" I pushed him away again, and then pulled the waistband of my trousers that had been pulled/opened to the crotch/below.joke!How come there is no response?Although he has just taken a shower, the male hormone smell that cannot be concealed by the body wash on his body is permeating my body, and just smelling this smell can make people feel excited.

"What are you afraid of? What did you do to you?" He raised his head and smiled at me.

"What else do you want?" I widened my eyes.

"Of course there is. I don't know how many times I have thought about it. I want to sleep with you."

"As soon as your grandma left, you wondered if this was a little too much for her?"

"What I think is not controlled by my brain, what can I do?"

"Stop talking nonsense, get up quickly, don't press me down!"

"Hey..." He sat up, looked at me and shook his head helplessly, and said, "You said you obviously like me, wouldn't it be uncomfortable to hold back?"

"How uncomfortable can it be? It's not like you haven't held back."

"It is because I have held back that I know how uncomfortable it is."

"Okay, since you've held it back, keep holding it, and go back to your room to sleep!"

"Okay. But I have to confirm something with you before going to bed." He looked at me with a very serious expression.

"What's the matter?" I also had to be serious.

"When you go to bed with a man, do you go up or down?"

"Why are you asking this? It's impossible for us!"

"Maybe it's impossible so you can't ask?"

"Then are you going up or down?"

"Of course it is!"

"So do I!" I glared at him.

"Are you really up?"

"What? Can I still lie to you?"

"That's not sure. Isn't your ex-boyfriend Xu Shihao? He doesn't look like he's down there..."

"Okay! Go to bed! Stop talking nonsense!" I pushed him off the bed.

Before he went out, he looked back at me, smiled, and said in a low voice: "I don't have anything to be ashamed to admit down there."

"Get out!" I threw a pillow at him.

After he left, I quickly got up and closed the door and locked it. When I turned off the light and went back to bed, I didn't feel sleepy at all.

In fact, regarding the issue of Shangxia, Xu Shihao and I didn’t have any entanglements when we were together. At that time, I didn’t understand anything. I just got in touch with each other’s body, and I wanted to try everything, and I was willing to try it.Later, after slowly tasting the two different tastes, each with its own beauty, Xu Shihao is willing to spend more time on the next.Two people go to bed more often, rather than lying there and enjoying the pleasure of being made, I prefer to look down at the expression on each other's face, and then control the rhythm and time by myself. The sense of superiority in mastery.

I have fantasized about putting Ling Guo down there and listening to him yell more than once, but I never imagined that this kind of thing could really happen. Now that the kid says he is on top, I feel that there is nothing between us. possible.But the feeling of liking him will not disappear just because it is impossible, especially after knowing that he also likes me, wanting to possess him while maintaining a pure relationship with him, this feeling is particularly irritating, irritating To make people howl a few times.