Shiraishi

Ye Zheng seemed to be poured from head to toe by a basin of ice water, and his whole body was almost frozen.She tried to squeeze out a smile, but couldn't hide the panic and sadness in her heart.

There are only two words in my mind.

It’s over.

She already knew it, she just didn't say it.Why not?

Of course it's because I don't like it, and it can only be because I don't like it.

This slap was so hard that Ye Zheng was in pain all over.I thought I could continue the frontier when I came back, I thought I could become Qin Du's light, after defeating the countless fears and weaknesses in my heart, I didn't expect that everything was really just me.by.for.

Wu Shuangyue was right, all Ye Zheng's struggles only touched herself in the end.

It should have been discovered a long time ago, the current Qin Du doesn't have the slightest intimacy with her, only reluctant, strange and embarrassing.But she foolishly created the opportunity to meet, came to her home with a shy face, and couldn't wait to give away the gift she had already bought...

The love and devotion she thinks are all burdens to Qin Du.

"What did you just say..."

Ye Zheng let go of the person in his arms, and slowly sat upright.All the strength of the whole body is put on the waist and legs, ready to rush out at any time.

She was ready to be punctured or even rejected by Qin Du.In other words, from the moment he was born, Ye Zheng was ready for these things, even if he was abandoned.

It's okay, she's used to it.If Qin Du really hated her and didn't want to see her, then she could disappear and disappear in front of Qin Du forever.

I used to think that Qin Du would get better if she was there, but if Qin Du didn't need it, then she would definitely choose to leave.

On this point, Ye Zheng is always very conscious.

Qin Du didn't answer the question directly, she just lowered her head and slowly put her arms around Ye Zheng's stiff waist.

Her palm was a little cold, but strangely, it seemed to be filled with infinite heat, and it immediately melted the ice on Ye Zheng's body, and it was like a soft sword, which immediately opened the armor that Ye Zheng used to protect herself A huge gap, the spring breeze blows in like this, revives all despair.

"Ye Zheng, I'm sorry. My memory is very bad now. I have really forgotten many things in those years. Even if it is you, even if I understand that you still treat me the same as before, I just don't know how to deal with you. Talk, how to get along with you. Can you tell me, how did you do it? Seeing me now, why are you not surprised at all, why do you seem to accept it naturally, why?"

Feeling Qin Du's soft earbones against his chest, closer than the hug just now, Ye Zheng was almost forced to cry.

Qin Du didn't explain the two words she cared about, as if he just said it casually, and the subsequent apology and hug made Ye Zheng unable to recover for a long time.

This feeling of heaven and hell is like a homeless orphan being given a mouthful of hot soup, or like a frostbitten traveler in winter encountering a flame, walking on thin ice, but unable to escape.

"...Actually, I have also forgotten what happened back then. I won't lie to you, really, I have forgotten a lot of things."

"But I just couldn't forget what it was like to be with you. Because after I was separated from you, I never felt it again."

Ye Zheng raised his hand tentatively, wanting to touch Qin Du's hair, but his fingers kept trembling, and eventually they still hung down weakly.

"As for why...Qin Du, do you know about Mont Blanc? It's the highest peak in the Alps, and I've been there once. It's very high, really high, much higher than Zijin Mountain."

"My guide told me back then that the less distracting thoughts you have in your head, the less oxygen you need. In order to get to the top, you have to learn to eliminate all desires and distracting thoughts in order to reach the summit when the air is extremely thin."

Qin Du moved his head, as if he was tired. He put his whole body flat, but still held Ye Zheng with both hands, leaning on her stomach, listening to her story attentively, breathing gently and steadily, without any pain. I realized that my mood at this moment was actually a relaxation that I had never felt in many years.

"Then did you do it?"

Ye Zheng closed his eyes, as if recalling that day, his voice was low and hoarse, as if it was mixed with the wind and snow on the top of the mountain at that time.

"I don't know if I did it, because I was thinking about you."

"Me?" Qin Du was taken aback, "Isn't that why I didn't do it? I still have distracting thoughts."

Ye Zheng opened his eyes, and finally pulled away from the panic just now, looking at her with serious and focused eyes.

"No, thinking about you is not a distraction."

This is the first time Ye Zheng has said these things to Qin Du, with a sense of fearlessness and free and easy going all out.

"You know about my family, and you know that I have been withdrawn since I was a child. But you must not know how much I relied on you before. In my heart, you are warmth, enthusiasm, and light. So at that time, I only thought of you , so I can keep climbing.”

"To me, you are really like moths to a flame, unforgettable."

"So no matter how you change, as long as you are still you, I can accept it. I will make you better, you believe me."

Ye Zheng summoned up the courage to hold her hand, convincing her, and also convincing himself.Although the face is calm, the back is already wet, cold and sticky.

She was so nervous, ever since Qin Du said that sentence, she seemed to be pinched by someone's neck, fearful and trembling.Too afraid to face, too afraid to lose, too afraid to be disgusted, too afraid to be discarded.

Saying anything and getting used to it is bragging, how can one get used to that kind of thing?

Qin Du's eyes blinked and blinked, as if he wanted to keep Ye Zheng's appearance in his heart so that he would never forget it again.

"I believe you, of course I believe you. Because of this disease, I suffer every day, I don't want to trouble others, and I want to get better. Ye Zheng, I also want to get better. I hold you, and I just want to find you again." A little bit of the feeling of sticking to you every day, but the smell on your body has changed, it is different from before..."

Ye Zheng was taken aback for a moment, then lowered his head and sniffed himself in a panic.

"What has changed,... I, do I stink?"

Qin Du smiled, only for a moment, but Ye Zheng caught a little bit of the past.This fleeting brilliance was enough to surprise Ye Zheng, and his tense muscles relaxed.Even if she is laughing at her stupidity, as long as she is laughing, as long as she is happy.

"I'm so stupid. I only said it was different, but I didn't say it smelled bad."

"You used to smell like the soap your grandma likes to use. It smells very clean. Now it smells like perfume. I don't like it."

Qin Du leaned closer to smell it again, and the tip of his nose slightly touched Ye Zheng's navel, which made her blush.

"Ye Zheng, stop using perfume."

"Okay, okay. If you don't like it, I don't need it."