Shiraishi

Ye Zheng left.

Qin Du lay on the bed, staring at the two identical admission notices in his hand in a daze.

When it was delivered this morning, the postman also congratulated her for being able to go to such a good high school with her neighbors, and she will have someone to keep her company in the future.Then he asked her who was at the door, why no one answered when she knocked on the door.

Qin Du said, give it to me, they are all gone.

Her 15th birthday is two days away.Before that, I discussed with Qin Ge how to live. I want to bring Ye Zheng and Grandma Ye along, and the two families will take a photo together.

Now that the summer vacation is not over yet, Qin Ge is gone, Grandma Ye is gone, and Ye Zheng is also gone.

Blessings never come, but misfortunes never come singly.My ancestors sincerely do not deceive me.

After being tired for so many days, I don't feel uncomfortable anymore.It is blunt, as if being pressed by something, very weak.Qin Du put the notice on his forehead and began to think about Ye Zheng.

Whether she knows Ye Zheng's intentions or not, no one can say for sure.But her friendship with Ye Zheng is real, they are flowers growing on the same vine, and they are relatives of each other.It's just that that's all in the past, and now the two of them are one in the south and the other in the north, they are nothing.

On his birthday, Duan Ji came.I bought cakes and gifts, and brought some health care products for Mrs. Qin.

Qin Du opened the cake, it was the one she told Qin Ge she liked before.It is a red heart shape with vanilla flavored ice cream inside and a circle of chocolate bunnies on the side.At that time, she told Qin Ge that she likes chocolate and Ye Zheng likes vanilla, so this is the best choice.

However, the best choice at the beginning is just tasteless now.Calmly cutting a piece for Duan Ji, Qin Du pushed the gift back.

"Mr. Duan, thank you for coming, thank you for the cake, but the gift is fine, I can't accept it."

Duan Ji observed her face, stretched out a finger and gently pushed the gift box to her again, hesitant to speak.

"I didn't buy it."

Not as surprised and excited as Duan Ji imagined, Qin Du gave a faint oh, put the box away, and stopped talking.

Duan Ji asked himself that he had only seen a lot in the world, and he could keep his face the same as before when Mount Tai collapsed.But at this moment, facing Qin Du like this, he feels like sitting on pins and needles.

Originally, he was afraid that Qin Du would question Qin Ge's whereabouts, but now that Qin Du stopped asking, Duan Ji also felt embarrassed.It seemed that the grown-ups had ganged up on her to bully her, but she had accepted it.This appearance of having resigned to his fate not only did not make Duan Ji feel at ease, but made him feel ashamed.

"School is about to start, are you nervous?"

"Don't be nervous." Qin Du didn't resist him, and answered whatever he asked, but the answers were always mechanical and cold, without any of the cleverness he used to have.

Duan Ji is not a person who is good at chatting, and he doesn't know how to really comfort Qin Du.Qin Ge didn't tell him his whereabouts and plans, but he could guess.But can this be said to Qin Du?

"Teacher Duan, don't worry, I won't make things difficult for you."

It was Qin Du who raised his head first and looked into Duan Ji's eyes, "If my father entrusts you to take care of me, if you can still get in touch with him, you can tell him that I have a good life and I am used to it. gone."

Her eyes were too clear, without gloom or resentment, but without any trace of warmth.

"Okay." Duan Ji replied without thinking.He didn't care if it was a trap or not, whether or not he agreed to mean that he could still contact Qin Ge, he just didn't want to look like Qin Du again.

"Thank you, Teacher Duan."

After all, Duan Ji still thought too much.After getting the answer, Qin Du looked away, and was stopped by Duan Ji just as he picked up the cake knife.

"You cut so fast just now that I didn't have time to stop it. The candle hasn't been blown yet."

Duan Ji still hadn't moved, so he put it back again, trying to put it back into a complete heart shape.The old lady Rachin sat down at the table and turned off the light again.

"Okay, let's make a wish."

Qin Du felt an indescribable feeling when he saw him busy.She used to think that Duan Ji was much more stable than Qin Gesiwen, and she also told Ye Zheng that Duan Ji was closer to her than Qin Ge.But now, she doesn't want the person in front of her to be Duan Ji at all.

Some people are only suitable to look up to, while others are to rely on.

Qin Du closed his eyes and made a serious wish.Then blow out the candle.

"Happy birthday, Qin Du." Duan Ji said.

The old lady Qin also stroked Qin Du's soft hair: "Hey, what wish did you make?"

Qin Du smiled, she said.

"I wish I could see my dad when I opened my eyes, but it didn't happen. Haha."

After saying this, I cried again, she said.

"I don't want to wish again."

Duan Ji was silent.Just now I said that I have a good life and I am used to it. Is this what I am used to?If this is what she is used to, what does she look like when she is not used to it?

Even after guessing Qin Ge's difficulties, Duan Ji couldn't help but lament his cruelty and determination.

It was the bitterest birthday Qin Du ever had. After the cake was cut, no one touched it. It looked like it was when it came, and it looked like it when it was thrown into the trash can. It was just that the ice cream melted and drowned the chocolate cake. rabbit.No one opened the carefully wrapped gift, and no one said who prepared it. Qin Du threw it into the bookcase, as if he had never seen this thing before.

Three years later, Qin Du graduated from high school and was admitted to a university in Beijing with Sun Ruan.Before the admission notice came down, Mrs. Qin passed away.

There is no disease or disaster, and he left when he fell asleep.

According to Nanjing's customs, the funeral was heavy and heavy, clean and decent, and Qin Du single-handedly arranged it, while Duan Ji stayed with her all the time.When sending the ashes up the mountain, Qin Du didn't know whether he was talking to Duan Ji or talking to himself.

she says:

"My grandma, who is so healthy and tough, suddenly became a small box in my arms?"

Duan Ji was speechless, he held her tightly in his arms, only sighed.

The funeral was held for seven days, including the funeral, cremation and sacrifice.For seven whole days, Qin Du only slept for three hours a day, and he slept at different times. He was as thin as a bone.But even so, she still didn't wait for Qin Ge.

This was the only fluke that Qin Du allowed himself to have.She always felt that no matter what Qin Ge disappeared for, he would always come to the old lady's funeral.but none.From beginning to end, that person never showed up.

Qin Du finally gave up completely.At the same time, due to the death of her relatives and the shattered hopes, she finally suffered from moderate depression after being depressed for too long, and had to take medicine to regulate her emotions every day.

The old house was also vacated, and she wanted to completely move to Beijing.

Sun Ruan came to help her pack her things, saw the lonely gift box in the bookcase, and secretly stuffed it into her suitcase.

Qin Du saw it when he checked it for the last time, and wanted to throw it away, but Sun Ruan tried his best to persuade her to open it and have a look.

"I dare not say what will happen to you after you read it, but if you lose it like this, I think you will regret it."

Qin Du looked at the box, but never dared to open it.The wrapping paper, which used to be bright, has gone through a lot of vicissitudes, like her heart, it is gray.

"If you don't mind, I can help you dismantle it." Sun Ruan said.

Qin Du nodded, handed the box to her, and turned around by himself.

After Sun Ruan opened it, his face changed, and he walked up to Qin Du solemnly: "I think it's better for you to see for yourself."

Qin Du's hands were shaking all the time, so Sun Ruan put them on her lap directly.

The box was a mess, with photos and pieces of yellowed drawing paper.

Qin Du opened them one by one, and they were all paintings she drew in kindergarten.

The blue sky, clear water, white clouds, pony, and parents are painted.

Qin Ge kept all these things for her.

In addition to these, there are birth records, 15-day records, full moon records, and a commemorative photo for every birthday. On the 2005-year-old photo, the printing time in the lower right corner shows June 6, 17, the day he left.In the photo, Qin Du was still sleeping, and Qin Ge was wearing a military uniform, sitting by her bed and looking at her daughter's sleeping face, her eyes were bright, and she couldn't tell if it was tears.

If Qin Du knew that she would lose him after that morning, she would wake up at that moment no matter how sleepy she was.

Every previous photo has Qin Ge's words on the back, for example, the daughter is one year old or the daughter called her father today. Many trivial details are as long-winded as Qin Ge himself.As for this one, Qin Du took out Sun Ruan before reading it, and she felt that no matter what was written on the back of this one, she couldn't help but cry.

Qin Du felt annoyed when he cried and asked others to coax him.

Sun Ruan was very considerate, afraid that she would be emotionally unstable, so she brought her water and medicine and went out obediently.Qin Du was mentally prepared and turned over the photo in his hand.

Unlike any other one, this one is very simple, and the handwriting is even more hasty, as if it was written in a hurry, and the last word was even blurred.

"Baby, there is a card in the box, the password is your birthday. If Dad is gone, someone will call you the money."

"Baby, Daddy will always love you."

Qin Du's judgment of herself was very accurate, and she cried again.The speculation in her heart for so many years was finally verified. She only hated herself for not opening this box earlier and letting herself go earlier.

Wiping his tears, Qin Du rummaged through the box. After finding the card, he stumbled out and found the nearest bank to check the balance.The hand that entered the password kept shaking, Qin Du bit his lip, hating himself for not taking the medicine before coming out.Fortunately, Sun Ruan was worried about her following here. Seeing her messy appearance, Sun Ruan quickly took out the water and medicine that he brought with him to feed her.

"What's the matter, why did you come here suddenly?"

"Ruan Ruan, please check for me, is there any money in this card...the password...the password is my life...my birthday..." Qin Du cried until he couldn't breathe, Sun Ruan didn't ask anything , and immediately entered the password.

It wasn't until the moment when he saw the balance was 0 that Qin Du's rapid heartbeat finally calmed down. He lost all strength in his body, and slowly slid to the ground, covering his face and sobbing.

"What's the matter?" Sun Ruan quickly pulled out the card and helped him up, "Don't cry, don't cry, if you run out of money, you can use mine first..."

Qin Du hugged her tightly.

"No... No, no. Ruan Ruan, there is no money in this card, which means my father is still alive..."

Qin Du didn't know whether she was crying or laughing. She seemed to be unable to control her emotions freely, but she knew that she was happy. In these years, since Qin Ge disappeared, she had never been so happy.In these years, she has not had any news about Qin Ge, now that at least his life and death can be confirmed, Qin Du is really satisfied.

Seeing her like this, Sun Ruan was very worried. She didn't know what happened to Qin Du's family, but she only knew that after Ye Zheng left, Qin Du's temperament changed drastically, and now he even suffers from depression.Sun Ruan could only hug her and keep coaxing her, watching her excitedly pack up everything after returning home, wishing to leave immediately, finally couldn't help the worry in her heart.

"Qin Du, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm fine, I'm happy! I'm very happy." Qin Du hugged a doll and smiled innocently.

That was Qin Du's last summer in Nanjing, in 2008.