That's it

a month later.After Xiang Ping sold Xiang Hong's house, he resigned after receiving his salary.The house was sold for [-] more in a few months, and there were still two months to go through the formalities after the sale.At the moment, he just wants to free himself, to get rid of all the burdens in his heart, even though he doesn't know what to do, but he knows that if he continues to do what he doesn't like, he will die.In the end, he locked himself in the house and wanted to cut himself off from everything. He quietly thought of a way to free himself.

The house is not decorated, only a simple sink and toilet, a bed, a dining table, a desk, and two chairs are all the equipment in this house.Xiang Ping painted an entire mural on the bedroom wall.The main color is dark gray and black, with a few dead tree trunks lying horizontally, and the leaves are represented by the circle of reincarnation, just like his thinking, deeply trapped in the strange circle of reincarnation, life and death have no meaning, only the sense of existence of pain.There is no gap of light in the dark world.He doesn't like the daytime because it's too noisy, and all night long, a quiet and weak body sits on a small bench and looks out the window, his body curled up into a ball like his heart.The moonlight and the light from the street lamp turned the empty concrete room into his prison. If there is anything else that makes Xiangping feel calm, it is the empty cage at this moment, echoing his heart.It was almost dawn, and the noise gradually became clearer, driving his impetuous mood.The noise catalyzes the impetuous mood, half-dizzy and half-awake lying on the bed to suffer the painful torture.The headache was unbearable, and even banging my head on the stone wall couldn't change the swelling pain inside.The pitiful lack of sleep made him weak and heartbroken.Neither rolling on the bed nor rolling on the ground can relieve the severe pain in the brain.When people are in a desperate situation, they will burst out with a strong desire to survive.

At 10:30 in the evening, he turned on his mobile phone and called his eldest sister.

"Come and save me, hurry up! I'm going to die of pain." Xiang Ping sat on the ground leaning against the wall and made a weak cry for help.

"What's wrong, brother? What's the situation?" Xiang Hong was very nervous.

"I have a headache. I can't stand it. Come on."

Xiang Ping stood up with difficulty, and the whole world seemed to be floating, shaking.He stumbled and retched on the toilet, his exhaustion made him kneel on the ground and continued to retch.

When I arrived at the hospital, I was diagnosed with migraine.It had been many days since he went downstairs and walked out of the room. The vastness and fresh air outside changed his thinking, and he was able to temporarily get rid of the vicious circle of reincarnation.Finally, the pain was relieved with painkillers.

Xiang Hong brings food to visit Xiang Ping every day after get off work.Talking about interesting things while cooking, she usually keeps talking all by herself, and Xiang Ping doesn't care to deal with it.Sometimes it is Xiang Ping who cooks, and every time Xiang Hong is praised in surprise.

"Oh! This dishcloth is folded like a military quilt. My sister will be so happy if she finds a boyfriend like you in the future. The cooking is delicious and clean. Although our conditions are a bit poor, what if Classmate Tian insisted on coming to see the room, and my sister would not feel ashamed at all. They said behind their backs, your brother is not only handsome, but also so clean, I am so enviable."

"You'd better not bring them here, come back after I move out! The house is sold and there is nothing to see."

"I know. I'm just talking. They heard that I bought a house and wanted to see it. I said I would bring them here after it was installed. Who would have thought that you would earn tens of thousands in such a short period of time. Let me tell you, this is In the city, how could there be such an opportunity at home."

The few pieces of furniture and daily necessities fully proved how boring Xiangping's daily life must be.The uneven seasoning bottles were arranged in an orderly manner, and several rags were folded into the shape of a military quilt, with square edges and corners pinched by fingers.

Xiang Ping could see that she was tired from laughing, but compared with his tiredness, he was not worthy of sympathy.Xiang Ping always thinks it is sad and ridiculous for people to worry about trivial matters.Because they don't know the meaning of being alive. To live is to wait for death in endless reincarnation. In fact, it has no meaning.Thinking every day how nice it would be if his death didn't make the stupid family miserable.Just the thought of his fragile and foolish family trying to survive makes death uneasy.

After eating, Xiang Ping sat in front of his window to smoke again, with a gesture of refusing to communicate.Xiang Hong smiled cautiously and sat beside him.His gaze didn't shift in the slightest.

"Brother, why don't you find a psychiatrist for you? Our building has a department that studies psychology. I'll find someone for you to meet! You can't go on like this forever." Xiang Hong said in a deliberative tone.

"Do you want money?"

"Normally, and it should be charged by the minute."

"dont see."

"You don't have to think about money. It's more important than anything else to change your mentality. You said that if you are depressed, what will your parents do? What's the use of them saving money? I mean let's try it."

"He can't solve it. It's not that he hasn't seen a psychiatrist."

"There are good and bad psychiatrists. I know..."

"You don't need to say it, don't watch it. Let me be quiet for a while, and I can come out by myself."

"Let me tell you, our department..."

"Stop talking? Why don't you go back!" Xiang Ping's hand holding the cigarette butt trembled a little. He tried his best to suppress his emotions, stood up and looked out the window, with his back completely turned to Xiang Hong.

"Okay, okay. Don't talk about it. Why don't you take me back! Go out for a stroll and get some air."

"Go back by yourself! It's not dark yet, so go early! It will be dark in a while."

Xiang Hong didn't know what to say.After hesitating on the chair for a moment, the far-fetched expression of joy gradually returned to its true nature.

"Well. That sister is gone."

"Well. I won't see you off." Xiang Pingtou didn't reply.

Xiang Hong lowered his head and closed the door.Walking out of Xiang Ping's sight, she relaxed, her head was downcast, her face was as numb as stagnant water in the mountains in late autumn, and her eyes were staring blankly at the next step.

A month, a book, a Japanese radio station that I listen to every day but don't understand.Xiang Ping decided to go home again, after all, home is much more comfortable than before.The autumn harvest is approaching, no matter what, the first three months can at least earn some living expenses for the coming year.

Xiang Nan poked her head out of the gate and saw Xiang Ping pulling the box, and shouted excitedly while waving at the inside: "Hey! You're back! Our eldest son is back!"

Xiang Dan hugged Xiang Nan's daughter with joy on his face, shook the child's hand and said, "You call me uncle, uncle."

This is the longest time Xiang Ping has been away from home, two months.Everyone greeted him excitedly, but Xiang Ping seemed a little embarrassed to return due to repeated failures.

"You said you were still carrying a big suitcase, so you came back empty-handed! How embarrassing it is for people to see." Sitting on the balcony, Xiang Ping's father grinned and made fun of Xiang Ping.

"It's a pity to throw it away. It's all spent money." Xiang Ping was affected by everyone's atmosphere, and it was rare for him to show a real smile.

"What delicious food did you bring?" Pan Feng asked, staring at Xiang Ping's trolley case.

"I still have half a bottle of Sprite in my bag, how about you?"

"Why are you so picky? You didn't say you brought something delicious when you went out for so long, so why do you expect you to come back in the future?" Pan Feng said.

"He specified that he ran out of money again, otherwise he couldn't come back in such a hurry." Dad Xiang Ping said.

"Oh. Did I say that?" Pan Feng's tone was full of cancellations.

"What would Da'er want to eat tonight?" Xiang Ping's mother kept looking at Xiang Ping with joyful eyes.

"casual."

"Old lady, take out all the stuff in your refrigerator. Ask again? He's so greedy, why won't he eat it?" Pan Feng said.

"I think you are greedy!" Xiang Ping's mother said to Pan Feng with an angry face.

"Let's go daughter-in-law, let's go home first, there will be something delicious tonight!" Pan Feng said with his arm on Xiang Nan's shoulder.

"Get up, you are still chatting with my brother. Turn back to you." Xiang Nan threw him off like an electric shock.

Holding the little guy in his arms, Xiang Ping just communicated with his niece, ignoring their existence.

"Brother, look at this. Our second sister doesn't seem to care much all day. If she can put a fruit knife next to her baby, she knows how to watch TV and eat apples. I'm so angry with my dad that I didn't beat her up." Xiang Dan showed Pan Zi He said with a distressed face about the slight scar on his leg.

"I heard what Eldest Sister said. I really didn't mean it, and it made Eldest Sister very angry." Xiang Ping kept kissing Pan Zi'er endlessly.Pan Zai'er is naturally fond of laughing, and is the core of gathering family members.

"Let's go. Go home." Xiang Nan pulled Pan Feng with a smirk on his face, pouted and turned around to leave.

"Where are you going? Hurry up and cook with me." Xiang Ping's mother yelled at Xiang Nan.

"Hey. By the way, we have to cook." Xiang Nan stopped immediately, kicked Pan Feng's ass and said, "Go! Go back and look at the shop, we have to cook."

"Let's go! Big head, let's go to the store." Pan Feng said to Xiang Ping with a smile.

Late at night is approaching, and the real time for Xiangping has arrived.It was hard for him not to think of Wang Boran who lived here on the first night.Obtaining a computer can reduce his sense of defeat when he returns home disappointed.He suddenly had the idea of ​​searching for naked men on Baidu, so he couldn't wait to open the webpage.Not all of them can arouse Xiang Ping's desire. Whenever the web page is closed, the dazzling yellow icon will make Xiang Ping unintentionally continue to browse the web page. He knows very well that what is there is alive.Finally, there is still no place to resist the heart.

Naturally, this became the beginning of Xiang Ping's real contact with comrades, and he has already integrated into his heart since he stepped into it, and he couldn't stop.People sing every day, and Xiang Ping has never been so attracted by group chats.He just watched, every word that everyone talked about that had nothing to do with him.He never spoke, and soon someone had a private chat with him for the purpose of naked chat. He thought this person was a lunatic and refused directly.Although he refused, this kind of novelty made him curious and looking forward to it. When the second person strikes up a conversation, his compassion is ready to try the idea.After that, he uninstalled the video and learned to take advantage of it.Even if you are always insulted by the other party, you must insist on taking advantage.When seeing the other party naked in the video, the visual and psychological impact is unprecedented.

This new world largely counteracts the despair of life, and fills the spiritual void with freshness and satisfaction every day.

the days after.He's addicted to taking advantage, but only during boring nights.This is by no means just a boring indulgent person. Although the chat on the public screen is about the relationship between men and men, I don't feel that there is any difference from life, it is very natural.The difference is that their hearts are more real than the people in their lives, and they vent their suppressed pain by telling their own stories.What is more attractive than the naked man is the person on the public channel that makes his heart flutter. It is unexpected that such a person likes men as much as he does, and some people are even so good that he is beyond his expectations.These differences abound.Every day, as the group is discovered by oneself, the crowd expands in consciousness at an alarming rate, and the feeling of loneliness becomes a little less.

From the time he jumped into the circle of this group, he was destined to belong here.Curiosity turned into obsession under the catalysis of longing, which is enough to prove that Xiang Ping still has not accepted the issue of sexual orientation.

After that, Xiang Ping's true love begins.Thinking of this, his subconsciousness prevented him from continuing to think about it, and the unforgettable love experience will no longer cause pain now.During the five years, Xiang Ping recalled the experiences of the three of them countless times.From missing every second to every moment to every day, time has gradually faded the memories, and what remains unchanged is the beautiful feeling that will be remembered forever.Maybe there is only a smile left in my mind, and that smile has also become blurred, and the feeling of laughing has never changed.Their smiles came to mind again.

It's time to relax your brain that has been stuck in memories for a long time.Check the time, there is still an hour and a half to arrive.He needs to think about meeting Guo Yi.I hope to help Guo Yi solve the dilemma he is facing.It is natural to think of their stories.