That's it

When Xiang Ping woke up, there were still no customers in the coffee shop. There seemed to be a couple in the middle of it, and he didn't know when they left.The coffee at the moment is already cold, he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, remembering this deepest relationship made him mentally exhausted, it has been a long time since such a coherent memory passed, and now even if he thinks about it again, the smile at the corner of his mouth can prove that everything in the past is true That's right.It is really satisfying to have such an innocent and unforgettable experience.Even if you don't know enough about the orphan, what you fall in love with is just a virtual imagination.It is easy to really change Su Ran's attitude in his heart. In deciding to love Su Ran and love himself, he finally chose to get himself.The unforgettable lovers in the past have become pictures in my mind.

Xiang Ping looked at the newly equipped gold watch, and it always looked awkward on his wrist. Even though his sisters said it was good, he had been feeling uncomfortable ever since he put it on.This is too exaggerated, obviously beyond its own conditions.Then took it off and put it in the bag.Before putting it in the bag, I confirmed the time, Guo Yi should be here soon.

When he has nothing to do, he is always used to go to the group to see what everyone is talking about. Even if the topic is so boring that there are only expressions, he has to carefully look at the expressions.

"Hey! Why are you smirking?" Guo Yi walked towards him and said.

"It's amazing! I went directly to the second floor with the map." Xiang Ping sat on the wooden chair and waved at him with a smile.

"You didn't say stand up to meet me. You're really lazy." Guo Yi sat down and said with a smile,

"Is it necessary? If you feel uncomfortable, you can come here once."

"Stop you. I'm not that boring." Guo Yi sat down firmly, looked at Xiang Ping carefully and asked, "Did you not have a good rest last night? What time did you go to bed?"

"Well... it's about two o'clock."

"My eyes are all red, and I look tired. Didn't I do something good?"

"For a cup of charcoal, add a spoonful more than normal." Xiang Ping said to the waiter.

"What do I want? Lemonade. Thank you." Guo Yi said casually without flipping through the menu.

"How is it? Do you feel better seeing me?" Xiang Ping asked with a smile.

"Nothing bad or bad. It's okay."

"I called him just now. After all, you have to tie the bell to untie it."

"Why? We haven't been in touch for a long time. I guess he won't come."

"Wrong. He said he would come later. Now he has something to do." Xiang Ping said solemnly.

"real or fake?"

"Fake." Xiang Ping said with a hateful smile.

Guo Yi looked a little angry.The waiter came over with the plate and didn't say anything.Xiang Ping put the lemonade directly in front of him.

"Hey! That's what I ordered."

"Sir. This gentleman ordered lemonade." The waiter said.

"Yeah. I know, do you have anything else to do?" Xiang Ping smiled and said to the waiter with a straw in his mouth.

"Why are you like this! You don't drink other people's what you want, there must be something wrong." Guo Yi said with a helpless smile.Then he said to the waiter, "Then I'll have another drink."

"No, no, no, go get busy. I'll call you if something happens." Xiang Ping took out the exact change and put it on the dinner plate, and continued smiling to the waiter.

The waiter put the coffee in the middle of the table, nodded and smiled and left, smiling at the service and the strange phenomenon of the two big men.

Xiang Ping pushed the coffee in front of Guo Yi, his face suddenly became calm, and he called out seriously: "Brother."

"Why are you so strange?" Guo Yi asked with a puzzled smile.

"I want to come out." Xiang Ping said in a very formal manner without a smile.

"what?"

"I'm coming out."

Guo Yi looked at Xiang Ping in surprise and asked, "What are you talking about? What's wrong with you?"

"I said I'm coming out."

"Crazy you!"

"No."

"It's not crazy, why did you come out of the closet? Did something happen?"

"I've rarely been as rational as I am now. I thought about it for a long time before and finally decided to do it now. It's very clear what I want to do. I've never been as determined as I am in this matter." Xiang Ping looked at it calmly Pointing to the coffee, Guo Yi said, "Drink it."

"It's not what I want, I don't like coffee."

"you drink."

"It's too bitter." Guo Yi said after taking a sip.

"Is there any pain in your heart?"

"What? What happened to you today? What on earth are you trying to say? It's really inexplicable."

"Say I'm coming out."

"Childish. Chatting with you has always felt that you are quite mature in thinking. Sometimes when you say me, I feel quite right. I always feel that you know me very well."

"I only know myself." Xiang Ping looked at him intently and said with a smile.

"I know what a fart. You are too selfish. Have you ever thought about what your parents will think? Can they accept it? Besides, why are you? You are always different from others."

"I just don't want to continue to live hypocritically, and I don't want to live too cowardly. I want to be free in my heart."

"There are so many things you don't want to think about. People can't live for themselves. You know that your parents will definitely not be able to accept this matter. Have you ever thought about their feelings. I really didn't expect you to be so selfish." Guo Yi said with an angry face said, taking another sip of coffee.

"Is this smell exciting?"

"Irritating ass. I'm so confused by you." Guo Yi said excitedly.

"Keep your voice down. Don't let the downstairs hear you. Why are you so excited by such beautiful music?" Xiang Ping said with a playful smile.Looking at Guo Yi's sinking state, he asked, "What do you think?"

"It doesn't matter much. It feels like you're crazy and talking nonsense."

"I used to think that what we did was selfish. It was our fault whether we got married or not. I thought it was our destiny. But I have changed now. I think it can make everyone feel at ease. There may be a lot of people in this process. Pain, the family will not accept it easily, just like you and I once rejected myself. The process of accepting myself is also very painful. Maybe you still can’t fully accept your orientation, and you have been living very depressed Qu. I'm different. I feel good, I don't feel wrong at all because I'm gay now. It's even better than being straight sometimes, I've had a richer life and it feels amazing. I I believe that my family will finally understand me under my correct guidance. I don’t need pity and sympathy from others, and there is nothing wrong or pitiful. So what I have to do now is to prepare and think more about how to make them suffer minimize the process."

"You think too simple. Do you know what that means? My dad and my grandfather passed away not long after. At that time, my dad couldn't accept it psychologically. He was diagnosed with cancer and died soon. Your parents How is it possible to accept it? What if they can't accept it? Have you ever thought about it? After all, you are so old, and you don't have to worry about any accidents. It's a big blow to them."

Xiang Ping remained silent, heartbroken by the terrible consequences.

"How many times have I persuaded you to let you get married, you are too stubborn, I don't think there is anything wrong with me getting married, what should I do or do, it will not affect the family. Isn't it good to have a child to worry about when I get old? It's scary that you're always on the edge of something, I know you won't listen to what people say. This is not a small thing, it will change your life forever."

"I also believe that life will change completely. In fact, I don't want to announce the world with great fanfare. As long as my family can understand me, it is enough. As for what others think, it will not affect me, and there is no need to let others know. You know that you care the most. People don't understand you, and you care about them, but is it necessary to live in mutual speculation?"

"Believe me, it's better to guess than to know the result. You always say that Brother Yu is right, that he is open-minded and objective. Then why didn't Brother Yu come out? He is 40 and still not married. He is living well. He He once said that he would not come out even if he was beaten to death! Why? He was afraid that his parents would be sad."

"I've thought about what you said, and I'm actually telling you that I hope you can convince me."

"No one can convince you. You are too egotistical. You always think that you are right, and you are also wrong. When you persuaded me before, you were not all right."

"I don't think it's wrong."

"Then tell me why? Are you right? Isn't it wrong to hurt your parents? You have no concept of responsibility at all." Guo Yi said excitedly, not caring about being overheard.

"What is responsibility?"

"It's time for you to think about them. They are old and cannot bear such a blow."

"What is good for them? Get married? Have children? And then?"

"Then live a normal life?"

"A normal person?"

"That's right. Most gays choose to get married. The whole society is like this. You have to be unique."

"I don't understand what you say is normal. The living environment of gays is really abnormal. Everyone lives in hypocrisy. The purpose of marriage is to conceal the sexual orientation that they think is shameful. Enduring marriage is for the so-called responsibility. You don't Happiness, the people you implicate are also not happy, is this called responsibility?"

"The whole environment is like this, you can't change it."

"I don't expect to change the world long ago. I just want to change my family, they are my world. As long as they understand it is enough, then we can all live real lives, it will be easy. Almost all the gays I know We all feel that we are not free, obviously we locked ourselves in the cage."

"China is not a Western country. Do you know what others think of us? With that strange look, people will regard you as a pervert."

"Do you have any other objection reasons?" Xiang Ping said very tiredly.

"No! I'm just against it. Firmly against it."

Xiang Ping drank the water in a low voice, not knowing what to say or how to express it so that he could understand his thoughts.

"To be honest, do you want to see him? We haven't been in touch for a long time. He's quiet, and he's not as painful as before." Xiang Ping changed the subject.

"I came to see you, okay, and then I heard you tell me these things, and now I feel even more depressed. Listen to me, brother, don't be impulsive. Once you say it, you won't be in a hurry to regret it. "

"I have no intention of regretting it."

"Why are you so stubborn! I really want to beat you up." Guo Yi's meek temper became irritable, and he slapped the table down.said angrily.

"It's the first time I've seen you get angry." Xiang Ping said with a smile.

"You're so annoying. I've never met someone like you. You say we have different thoughts and personalities everywhere. How can we be friends?"

"I have read a lot of information and heard a lot of stories. We all want to live like normal people without being discriminated against. We all hope that social concepts will change, and we all get used to hiding ourselves. We all hope to be understood by others. I live in fear every day, for fear that others will see that I am a homosexual. The most terrible thing for gays is not AIDS. Cowardice is far more terrifying than AIDS. It is like the plague. When you enter this circle, you are already infected. A little bit of what you really desire Destroy, live so much that you hate yourself and still yearn to be understood. Hide your heart to a place where you can't even find it, just blindly longing to be understood by the person you care about? Is this reality?"

"You're talking nonsense. The reality is that your parents can't understand you, and they won't be able to bear it. What right do you have to make them feel uncomfortable and work so hard to raise you?"

"How do you know they can't understand?"

"I just can't understand, don't be naive."

"They want me better than anyone else, do you believe it?"

"shit."

"Then what else is there for me to recover? I just need to prove that I can recover?"

"You prove a fart! I'm really going to be mad at you."

"Honestly, are you happy?"

"I live a good life. I have a wife and children. My parents don't worry about me. I won't be lonely in the future, and the relationship between comrades is not reliable. In the end, they are not all separated because of practical problems, and more people are just for fun. Do you know the relationship? There is no guarantee, no restraint, let alone being recognized by family members. It is easy to separate, how many have you seen together for a long time? Ideal is ideal, reality is reality."

Xiang Ping was silent for a long time.Guo Yi was still thinking about how to persuade him, and casually drank the coffee he didn't like.

"Then why are you here today?" Xiang Ping stared at him with extremely cold eyes and asked.