That's it

After the letter was sent, the lone copy disappeared for a week, and Xiang Ping spent this week like a year, staring blankly in front of the computer every night, flipping through the chat records of the two of them over and over again.On the second day, he couldn't hold back anymore and asked if Gu Ben was there?After being disappointed for a week in a row, the unlit head portrait made him discouraged, his heart was always heavy, and his throat seemed to be blocked.Missing frantically, suffering from the fact that there is no way to contact him, and I don't know what right I have to disturb him.Think of all kinds of reasons for falling out of love.The irritability made him cut off contact with Su Ran.Lock a person in his own hut, and don't go out during the day.The family didn't pay too much attention to his depression.When eating, I deliberately avoid not eating with everyone.

Still on the seventh day.Still looking forward to the miracle of that dead head portrait.I don't know how many times I got used to looking at his profile picture.Suddenly it lit up, and Xiang Ping's heart skipped a beat, and he became at a loss for what to do.I don't know what to do.

Gu Ben: Are you there?

To equality for a long time.Wait until he finally shows up.

Ping Ping: I have been waiting for you.

Gu Ben: Then why don't you speak, I've been waiting for you for a long time.

Tranquility: Hehe, I don’t know what to say.

Gu Ben: Don't take it too seriously, there's no need to make yourself sad.You need to know to make yourself clear.

Ping Ping: Can you tell me?

Wu Tong sent a video, but Xiang Ping rejected it.

Guben: Why didn't you accept it?i want to see you.

Jingpingping: I also want to see you, it will make me feel better now, and it will make me feel even more uncomfortable when I can't see you.I shouldn't see you until my heart is at ease.

Gu Ben thought that he could be indifferent to all feelings.For the past seven days, he has been very restless, and the awakened feelings seem to never be touched.He knew Xiang Ping's mood, and it must be very hard for him to be a simple and confused child who was in love for the first time.Xiang Ping's confession made him feel cold, and he hoped to comfort him.Even if he won't get anything, he still wants Xiang Ping to have an easier time with this experience.For a long time, he was thinking about how to reply.

Tranquility: I feel restless because I am disturbed, ha ha.are you busy

Gu Ben: Why bother?

Tranquility: I may think that I will feel at ease in this way, but I am still contradictory, and more and more contradictory.

Orphan: Either choose to let yourself go, or leave the gay circle and marry a girl.

Ping Ping: It is also possible not to let myself and my comrades be independent.

Orphan: Not impossible, but be realistic.

Ping Ping: Maybe this is the best answer. I once thought that it would be better if I was purely gay, so that I would not be confused about my orientation.I think gays are more tolerant than women, can be more tolerant, and better at understanding each other.

Orphan: Sometimes you are not so lucky to meet, and there are not many who can meet your requirements. Even though your requirements are already very low, it is still not easy. This is the balance.So I advise you to leave here, since you are still interested in girls, I am not interested at all, so there is no way.

Ping Ping: Since I met you until now, you have persuaded me to leave the gay circle countless times, you should know that I am an idealist.

Gu Ben: You still don't know what loneliness is, I don't want you to know, it's no good.

Ping Ping: It feels good to really like someone, I think I can bear it.

Gu Ben: Loneliness is not quiet, you think everything is too beautiful, including me.

Ping Ping: Yes, I hope everything will be as I thought. I know it’s unrealistic, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking like this stubbornly. Sometimes when I see something wrong, I will think about the good, knowing that I’m lying to myself.

Gu Ben: I'm questioning whether that girl is worthy of you.

Ping Ping: It doesn't matter how others question her, at least I always think she is so good.You too, it is good to have you, but you are also different.I know you are good to me, but you are not as pure as her.

Orphan: I don’t regret choosing not to marry in my life, but I often feel lonely. I want to last forever, but I don’t expect it. I need to love and be loved. The fact is not like I imagined. I live in loneliness more of the time.

Ping Ping: How do you plan for the future?

Orphan: be safe with the situation.

Ping Ping: I want to too, but I can’t.

Orphan: I have no other choice at this point.

Ping Ping: We have always talked too transparently, which led me to think that this is not the feeling of love. Now I know, but I can’t do it. I’m not afraid to tell you this directly. I don’t care if you like it or not. Believe that you are not as deep as I am, you have experienced more.It will be difficult for me to get out of this period. I don't know how difficult it is. I have to straighten myself.We don't belong to each other.

After waiting for a long time for Guben's reply, Xiang Ping wondered if he had spoken too directly, and worried that there would be no contact in the future.

Gu Ben: Haha, you have to give me a chance to lust.

Ping Ping: Worth considering, haha.

The joke didn't make people happy, and they ended the chat disheartened.Impulsive and sad ending.

late autumn.They hadn't contacted for many days, and Xiang Ping never thought that he disappeared so simply, he was unprepared, and time made his madness numb.Where should I go to feel better.The crops have been completely harvested, and the fields are empty as far as the eye can see.Autumn ended the life of a large number of plants, and Xiang Ping's heart seemed to have died.

Xiang Ping sat alone in his fish pond, nestled against the small tree he and Zhao Siwen once planted.The small tree is much thicker than when it was planted, and there are not many yellow leaves left, and the weather is very cold.The reeds in the pond also turned yellow.The surface of the water was slightly rippling, only a few birds were scurrying around on the branches, their cries seemed to be mocking Xiangping.Except for the chirping of birds, everything was as quiet as his heart.It's very comfortable here, I can't hear the noisy voice of my family, only one person misses, and the memory is bitter.Su Ran and her boyfriend have eased up, and when they contact him, they feel more relaxed, and maybe they don't need his comfort anymore.

Sitting from morning to afternoon, his buttocks were already numb, and hunger reminded him of going home.Before getting in the car, I looked back at the little tree. Now Zhao Siwen is married. Thinking of the simplicity of the past, I feel desolate for this moment.

Xiang Ping thought he could control him not to leave a message when he was not around, but he gradually got used to asking "Are you there?" "I miss you" every day.Over time, I have accumulated a long period of greetings, all from myself.Later, it was no longer a greeting, but a numb habit.

Ping Ping: I haven’t heard from you for a long time. I live a miserable life every day, thinking about food and tea, and can’t sleep at night.The whole person becomes sluggish.Listen to a song "Suddenly Miss You So Much" every day repeatedly, and suddenly miss you so much, where will you be, happy or wronged.Suddenly I miss you so much, and suddenly I dream of you... There is never a smile that can't be left in my heart, only you.When I miss you, I turn out the picture in my memory and put it beside my pillow, in the palm of my hand, and in my heart, until the liquid in my eye sockets blurs it, then I temporarily put it away, and turn it over when I think about it again come out.Life suddenly enters a dream world, where there are you, me, smiles and beauty.The afterglow of the setting sun reflects the way you and I go home, warm and full of reverie.But when I woke up, I found that everything was in vain.The heart is like dehydrated jerky, and breathing becomes laborious. Concentrate all the strength of the whole body and smash hard on the hard part in order to vent the pain of not having you.

I haven't seen you online for a long time, the feeling of the lyrics is indeed true.Another song: Friend Wow!friend!Have you ever thought of me, if you are ever happy, please tell me.Infect me a little with your happiness, edify me who is still longing.

I cherish someone who can open up and really think of you often.How are you so good.Give me back my soul.

Contact me sometime, if you still remember me.

Children

This is just a momentary vent in the silence of the night, Xiang Ping has been trying to make himself forget and be quiet.Even if I can't do it, I will make myself think like this, but in fact, the more I think about it, the more sad I feel.

After a few days, Guben has gradually returned to its previous calm.Xiang Ping will still be in his heart. He has not logged into QQ for a long time, or he is forgetting on purpose.Opened QQ to see Xiangping's daily greetings and thoughts, and carefully read Xiangping's letter several times.

Guben: Long time no see.

Just four words made Xiang Ping have mixed feelings.The blood all over his body suddenly boiled.The whole person seems to be alive.Quickly typed out his mood, wishing to write down all the feelings of missing him.

Tranquility: I wait for you every day, but suddenly I don’t see you and my heart is at a loss. Sometimes I even wonder if you are dead, but even if you are dead, I don’t know.

Gu Ben: Why don't you hope that I will get better.My company is very busy recently.

Xiang Ping was so moved that he didn't know what to say, and he didn't know what to say to express his inner excitement.

Gu Ben: How are you recently?look at you.

Ping Ping: I'm a little used to not being without you. I would go crazy if I didn't see you in the first few days, but it's much better now.Ha ha.Don't look at it, just calm down for a while.

Xiang Ping hypocritically pretended to be relaxed, why didn't he want to see him.

Gu Ben: I haven't been well recently.

Ping Ping: What's wrong?

Orphan: There are some problems at work, which is very troublesome.

Ping Ping: Unfortunately, I can't help you.

Gu Ben: Take a look and you will be fine.

Tranquility: Don't make trouble, I know I'm not in the same boat.

Gu Ben's strong yearning was uncontrollable, he sent a video, but was rejected.The second request was still rejected.

Gu Ben: Don't be stingy, let me take a look.I smile knowingly when I see you.It's been a long time since I laughed.

Ping Ping: Is the situation complicated?Don't disturb your life because of work, it's better to live easily than anything else.Even looking at me won't solve the problem.

Gu Ben's long absence makes Xiang Ping think that Gu Ben just has a good impression of him, and Xiang Ping has thought a lot of bad thoughts for such a long time.Perhaps Gu Ben never cared about him, and all his concern was just the same as other people's hypocrisy.

Gu Ben: I smile knowingly.

Send a video to Ping.

Jingpingping: I'm not afraid to watch, but I don't know why I refused.If it makes you any better, watch it!No charge, that's enough.

Sure enough, Xiang Ping saw a haggard face that was very different from before.He regretted some of the injustice just now.Gu Ben saw Xiang Ping's heart welling up with a warm spring of relief, that face was like a panacea that made his whole person more energetic in an instant.Seeing his haggardness, Xiang Ping couldn't help feeling a little sad.

Tranquility: Seeing that your condition is really bad, you are not as handsome as before.I really hope I can help you.

Gu Ben pointed to the top of his head, motioning Xiang Ping to look at his hair.It was caused by chronic insomnia and complicated thinking.

Orphan copy: One piece is missing.

Ping Ping: I can't help it. Sleeping may cure hair loss.

Orphan: Very difficult, will suffer from insomnia.

Gu Ben never mentioned that his pain had anything to do with Xiang Ping.Once again, I don't want Xiang Ping to fall into fantasy, just like the reason for not contacting him, I hope he can calm down.

Gu Ben: You can see your chest muscles through your clothes. You have a good figure, but I have a fat belly.

Tranquility: You're about to start kinky again.

Gu Ben: Do you want to see the old pig taking a bath?

Tranquility: Seriously, don't tempt me, I can't stand it.

Gu Ben: Haha.Not talking to you, I'm going to take a shower and sleep.

Jingpingping: You wash yours and I look at mine, don't delay.

Orphan copy: I'll let you see as much as I can.

Tranquility: Forget it, let's go!Sleep well and keep your hair.

Gu Ben: You also have to go to bed early.

The good times didn't last long, and the orphan disappeared again a few days later, bringing hope of peace.Xiang Ping is like a watchman who has lost his soul.Staying in front of the computer at night to watch his profile picture, fantasizing about hope.

Orphan didn't know what to say to make Xiang Ping face the reality.In this process of transformation, Yi Xiangping will inevitably suffer the final pain in his heart, but how to make the pain less, and how to let Xiang Ping truly understand his heart.Every day, Xiang Ping is encouraged to be brave with that girl.I have experienced so many years of loneliness, I have no hope and expectation, I just let myself continue like this steadily.Just don't make others feel bad for him.

Xiang Ping hadn't smiled from the heart for a long time.The family saw it, and knew that they would not be able to find anything if they asked, but it would make Xiang Ping even more disgusted with life.