twice marked

This kind of day of looking at the sea and the stars every day is so beautiful, so the time passed quickly. When Zhang Zhendong called me to remind me when to go back, I remembered that it has been almost a month. I told him? He'll hold on for a few more days, I still don't want to go back, he's howling right there: "Xie Shen'an, Sheng Yun, you two, don't go too far! Bully me for not being married, right?"

I also laughed at him: "You? If you have the ability to get married, I'll give you three months of marriage leave when you get married."

He yelled on the other end of the phone: "You two come back quickly, if you don't come back, I'll sell the art gallery!"

We went back anyway, not because we were worried that Zhang Zhendong would sell the art museum, but because he was afraid that his inspiration would be lost.

After we came back, our daily life was the same as usual again. We still lived here in the new suburb, but not at the home of Sheng Yun's parents. Rejected, I was laughing in my heart as I listened, I like to live in our new home, I don't want to go back to his parents' house, even though Uncle Sheng and Aunt Sheng treat me very well now.

I always feel that palace fighting is about to start when I return to that gorgeous house, so I'd better stop thinking about it.

And in this house, no one will tell me no matter how hard I work? I, I want to create a study room for myself. I am now? How should I say? I am also the CEO. When I stepped on it, I was caught? He saw it, and he came over with a stride, grabbed my waist and said, "Didn't I tell you? You are not allowed to climb up and down? You? What are you doing up here?"

"What, you? Didn't you tell me? This home is mine now, so I can decorate it however I like?" I said angrily, can't you tell me just a month after I got married? It's nothing!

He didn't listen to me at all, and hugged me off the bed. Seeing that I was still angry, he said helplessly: "You? You are the master of this house. You? Tell me how you want to arrange it, and I'll give it to you. ? Let's do it? Is this okay?"

That's about the same?!

I told him: "I want a big study! I want to work!"

Sheng Yun put his arms around my hand? He paused for a moment, and I glared at him: "Can I not work?" Is he going to put me at home as a househusband?Then I don't want to.

Okay? Zai? Sheng Yun glanced at me and said with a smile: "You? Of course you can work, you? How can such a big CEO not have a study room, you? You have to ask for the largest and most luxurious study room, I will give it to you ?OK?"

I smiled: "Then I will use it reluctantly!"

Sheng Yun gave me his study room, since I have occupied his study room, I can barely share half of it with him, his study room is very big, it would be a bit wasteful for me to use it by myself.It's just that there is only one desk, and the two of us face each other

The work efficiency can be imagined, either under the table touching my legs, or on the table he kept interrupting me.

"Xie Shen'an, you will be short-sighted if you lie so close, keep your back straight..."

"Xie Shen'an, you? You have watched the movie for an hour, it's time to go to bed."

"Xie Shen'an, are you hungry? I made a matcha cake for Xiaojin..."

Is he annoying?If he is like this, I'm still working!

I can’t continue to work, because he still wants to limit the time I can watch the computer, and I won’t be allowed to watch it for less than an hour. If I am too free, I can read books and enter this study by myself. I bought a lot ? The book, always put on a show.

Sheng Yun’s bookshelf is half vacant for me, so when I read my books, I also read his books. From the history of finance, from the vernacular to poetry and Fu, the span is very large. I am really a good student who loves to learn.

I picked up a few of his books to read, and I found that I didn’t like to read the books I bought myself. I think his books are good? Look, he read them well? Look, it’s just that he reads the books very cleanly, with almost no annotations. So I flipped through it a few times and put this one down, and then I flipped through the next one, hoping to find some of his handwriting or something.

But almost nothing, until I picked up a collection of poems, Tagore's poems.

I like Tagore. His poems are very good. He is a very spiritual poet. I still remember one of his famous sayings: When there is an avalanche, no snowflake feels responsible.

I opened this collection of poems, and I came to a place with annotations? It was the most famous poem "Fish and Birds". I don't know if it is because this poem is very famous, so the owner of this book often opens Here, so that I just flipped here.

"Fish and Bird"

the farthest distance in the world,

is the distance between the fish and the bird.

This poem has been eulogized and revised many times by later generations, and there are many versions.Sheng Yun wrote one of the versions under these two short lines of poem:

The longest distance in the world

not life and death

But I'm standing in front of you? You? Don't know I love you?

The longest distance in the world

Didn't I just stand in front of you? You? But I didn't know I loved you?

It's Ming? Ming? Knowing that we are in love but we can't be together

The longest distance in the world

It's not Ming? Ming? Knowing that we love each other but we can't be together

But Ming?Ming?Can't resist this longing but still has to deliberately pretend that he doesn't care about you at all

The longest distance in the world

It's not Ming? Ming? I can't resist this longing, but I have to deliberately pretend that I don't care about you at all.

Instead, use your own indifference to dig an insurmountable gap to the person who loves you

……

The longest distance in the world

Not to do? A love without result

But bravely say? Out of love but be? Tell me "I don't love you?" Then you? Turn around and leave intimately with another person

……

I read it line by line. It was written by Sheng Yun. I know his handwriting. His handwriting is very good. Look, every stroke is even more beautiful than the original font. Such a long poem, he wrote I don’t know how long it took to write this poem. I don’t know what kind of mood he wrote this poem. He is in? My impression is that kind of calm to indifferent person, but there is no Thinking that he also had such a lonely and sad time.

I don't know if it's this sad love poem that resonates with people, or Sheng Yun's rare sadness. I just feel that my chest is heavy. I think of the words he told me when I was in Tibet last time: Xie Shen'an, you ? Can you stop living in? my heart, torturing me day? day? night?

Let me hold this collection of poems for a while. When the pain in my heart is better, I put it back to its original position. When Sheng Yun came in, I was already reading it with a programming book in my hand. He read it My eyes were a little surprised: "You? How do you see this?"

I didn't know there were programming books on his bookshelf, and that's not what he learned back then, am I surprised too? Ah, I coughed and said, "I'll just take a look."

I put down the programming book and said to him, "Is Xiaojin asleep?"

He nodded and walked towards me, trying to pull me up from the ground: "Don't sit on the ground, you have a stool? Don't sit."

The carpet is very thick, so I like to sit on the ground, feeling down-to-earth and infinitely wide.

He couldn't pull me up, so he had to sit on the ground with me, and told me: "When I'm not at home, you? Go to bed on time, okay? Okay? Do you know what to eat? I've already told Aunt Zhou? , ask her to cook for you these two days."

He's going on a business trip tomorrow to join a painters' association and make an appointment with an art dealer by the way. Instead of me, he's bringing his elite assistant.So I want to make trouble unreasonably: "I want to go on a business trip with you too."

Although I know it's impossible, because he's only going on a business trip for one day, and Xiao Jin is still at home, but I just can't bear it. I'm like a piece of dog skin plaster now.I can't wait to shrink it so small that I can put it in my pocket and take me with me wherever I go.

Now? I am. I'm leaning in? His arms, flipping through the books indiscriminately.

He was afraid that I would move around, so he put his arms around me, and now he smiled when he heard my words: "I'll just go there for a day, how about there? I'll give you all the food and bring it back."

Am I just a foodie?I snorted and said, "Isn't it good to bring it back? Eat it, I'm going to eat it now!"

His hand? On? My waist touched a few times, refused to agree to me, and groped me, I was not happy: "You? Will you take me there or not!"

His hand rested on my stomach: "I'll take you there next time. This time it's too far away. You'll get airsick if you fly."

I knew that was the case, and I just wanted to rely on him to make unreasonable troubles, to make him realize that I needed him so much, so I made a fuss for a while and said to him: "Then you? Come back early."

He helped me up: "You? Go to bed early, and I will come back early."

Is it now? Do you mean going to bed?

I coughed: "Okay, then I'll go to bed and wait for you?"

He smiled and nodded: "OK? I'll pack up the computer and go in a while."

I went out to check his suitcase. Although he was only going to stay for one night, this guy is more particular. Or should I bring some more? After I made sure there was nothing missing, I went to bed and waited for him, but waited. I fell asleep waiting.

I think my college entrance examination book is really an invincible hypnotic, whether it is mathematics or English, as long as I read it for 5 minutes, it is guaranteed to fall into a deep sleep.

When Sheng Yun went to bed, I felt like I had fallen asleep.I complained to him: "You? Why did you come here? I fell asleep."

I don't even know why my temper is so irritable, I have no patience at all, he smiled and kissed me, the kiss was as soft as a feather, I was anxious, I clasped my hands and hugged him.He's going on a business trip tomorrow? Tonight, I'll be good? Well? Hug him and do a little more. I promise not to fall asleep. I just fell asleep!

That's what I thought, but I didn't know when I fell asleep again while I was doing it. It's his fault. He was too gentle and not overbearing at all. It was completely different from before!

Sheng Yun went on a business trip, so Xiao Jin and I were the oldest in the whole family, we were like monkeys making trouble in the heaven, and the sky was turned upside down.

I am in Sheng Yun's study room, and I have been fascinated by Sheng Yun's study room recently. Seeing his few words, I always feel that Sheng Yun is like a big treasure, and there are many hidden in it? I don't know, and he This person is still sullen and doesn't say anything? So I can only find it myself.

Hard work pays off, I actually found a piece of paper similar to a diary of Shengyun, which was sandwiched in a book "Advanced Mathematics". There were only a few words, but the writing was different from the past. messy.It was written on his calculus paper. Maybe he wrote it when he was tired of doing the problems. What he wrote was also very messy, a bit without beginning and end.

【I regret it. If I stayed by his side that night, I wouldn't give him a chance to regret it, right...】

He crossed out the following words, so I had no choice but to continue reading:

[If I tell him from the beginning that I like him, I can fall in love with him, like every ordinary couple, holding his hand every day? Go for a walk together, go to the cafeteria together, go to the library together, and... …

Could it be me that he fell in love with? 】

[I know that Ming is better than anyone else, I have a natural condition, I know that Ming is better than...]

He crossed out something again, and there was only '16 years' left behind. A circle was drawn outside this number. The circle was heavy, as if it had been drawn many times.

Looking at this number, I feel very sad. I left my grandfather's house and Shengyun's place when I was 16 years old.

We grew up together for 16 years.

I gently put this note into his book, it was many years ago, I think he must have forgotten it, or he wouldn't let himself write such messy handwriting .

I sat on the carpet with my high math book in my arms, and took a deep breath. Every time I found a little bit, I felt like I had been cut by a knife. I was putting together his past like a puzzle. I didn’t know what he was thinking at the time. What does it look like, I think it will definitely not be better than me?

'I regret it' those four words are engraved in my heart, as painful as a brand mark, only regret is the most painful in this world, because it is irreversible and cannot be repeated.Sheng Yun told me? He never regrets anything he does, except me.

I slept with his book in my arms this night, and I fell asleep too. I don’t know if I was dreaming. Anyway, I slept until dawn, and his book was all crumpled. I still have a pool of saliva. God, I was so disgusted by myself, I immediately wiped him clean, and hid the book intact in the corner.