Mo Dongyang

There are three thousand beauties in the harem, but there are only a few concubines who are favored by thousands of people. Newcomers spring up every year in the palace, but those who are older can only stay in their boudoirs alone, doing unreasonable things every day. The actual spring dream, eating all kinds of folk prescriptions and herbs taught by folk doctors, just to save the aging face that has been eroded bit by bit by the years, and even bought and bribed the palace servants of Zhaoyang Palace at all costs, exhausted all methods Seek the favor of the emperor.

It's just that these are all in vain. Everyone knows that the current emperor loves immature and vigorous girls, and the queen in charge of the phoenix seal in the harem is only in her early forties, so she has been alone in the vacant room for more than twenty years.Those concubines who have passed their age are mostly pretty. After being blessed by the emperor several times at their prime of life, they were abandoned because of the boring taste that the emperor made out of nothing. Since then, no one cares about them.

The nobleman Yan I served was one of these many abandoned wives, but in reality, nobleman Yan was under 25 years old, and she was in the prime of her youth.

There are four servants in the Zhilan Palace, three maids, one eunuch, and I am a newcomer.

Aunt Liang is a little older and is the steward of the entire Zhilan Hall, responsible for the daily life of nobleman Yan, and is the personal maid of nobleman Yan, while I follow Aunt Liang to help take care of nobleman Yan, and at the same time do some trivial chores. A Xing, a famous court lady, was in charge of the kitchen, while the rest of the eunuchs did some rough chores.In the past two years in Yi Tian Dian, I have also learned how to observe words and deeds, be cautious in words and deeds, talk less and do more things, so my life in Zhi Lan Dian is still passable.However, this place is far away from the center of the harem's struggle for power, and there is no intrigue and intrigue. In addition, the owner of this place, Yan Gui, is indifferent in nature, reticent, stays behind closed doors for a long time, and has little contact with other concubines in the palace, so The palace servants of Zhilan Palace also performed their own duties, and when the time came, they would disperse separately.

Since working in Zhilan Palace, I have become more and more curious about the owner of this palace. This woman rarely speaks every day, and I have never seen her step out of the palace gate.Her only hobby is reading books, and she bends over the desk to read, or calligraphy, or landscape painting, sometimes almost a whole day.What's more, she would sit at the stone table under the magnolia branches and play the guqin for an hour or two.Sometimes she would do nothing, lying alone on the window sill next to the vanity mirror, looking at the fallen flowers dancing in the wind all over the sky. lonely.

I don't understand why this woman who is good at piano, chess, calligraphy and painting fell out of favor at such a young age, because her good looks and slender figure are enough to make most men fall in love with her, although she is not as good as the many concubines in the harem. Enchanting and charming, but she gives people an indescribable tranquility and scholarly atmosphere.I've always felt that there was something special about her that set her apart from the rest of the palace, but I just can't describe that feeling.

Until one late night, when I was leaning on the coffee table and sleeping, I saw Yan Gui gently getting up from the bed in a daze, leaning against the grating of the west window with his bare feet in a thin single garment, dragging his chin quietly. Looking at the huge Miyagi with flickering lights in the distance, she remained silent, and the cold moonlight scattered on her thin body, giving off a slight layer of blue light.

At that moment, my heart was suddenly hit hard by something.

Finally, I know what the inexplicable feeling that has been troubling me for a long time is, and it is cleanliness.

This is not found in this filthy palace, but even in the world outside the palace walls, I have never seen it, because since I was a child, all the people and things I have encountered are all filthy. and blood; because I have been living in an indifferent and numb environment since I was born; because cleanliness is too far away from me; because I have never been a clean person myself.

After four months of tepid life, I have gradually gotten used to the rhythm of life in Zhilan Temple, and I have already mastered the daily routines and details.Because it was August, midsummer was at the forefront, and the scorching heat was hard to dissipate. There were not many ice cubes allocated by Zhilan Palace to cool off the summer heat. After three days, I took over Aunt Liang's position.

A Xing, who was in charge of the kitchen, got along very well with A Jing, a little maid in the adjacent Xiangguiren's Palace. After finishing the kitchen work, she was almost invisible. In addition, Aunt Liang was ill, and Yan Guiren had no night food. Ah Xing’s absenteeism is increasing. She always disappears into the dining room on time when the sun goes down. I know she must be looking for Ah Jing, because I can always see the two of them. At night, they hid on the edge of the wooden railing of the promenade, rubbed their ears and temples together, played and played, and whispered some unknown whispers.And the remaining eunuch Fu Lu didn't often stay in the palace. In his spare time, he would sneak away to hang out with the eunuchs from other palaces and gamble some small money.

For these, Yan Guiren did not criticize too much, maybe she didn't care at all, but because of ignoring these things, the palace servants became confident, and their dereliction of duty became more and more serious. In the end, I was basically alone in Zhilan Palace. Guarding a silent woman every day, the huge palace gradually became cold, lonely and lifeless.I even began to suspect that I was also suffering from gloomy depression like Yan Guiren. In a day, almost no one could talk to me, and I finally learned to speak to the pale wall, or in front of me. At dusk, I leaned on the porch with my arms folded, looking sideways at the gradually blurred and dim prosperity of the garden, shaking my head and talking to myself, because only in this way can I prove that I still exist.But I don't want to live like a walking dead without thinking like those old women in the palace until I die of old age. I have to find something for myself to do to keep myself busy.

In my spare time, I am always busy with gardening, digging, fertilizing, and watering the flowers and plants in the garden; or lying on the stone table and whispering some hometown tunes taught by my mother when I was young, or squatting Under the willow tree next to the rockery, holding small stones and touching the loose ground, copying lines of small letters in ancient books.The few thread-bound books I carried with me were almost destroyed by me, and the few books I had were only useful when practicing calligraphy.

I only dare to do these small actions for self-entertainment secretly, because I don't want the mistress of this palace to think that even I have begun to neglect my duties, and I don't want her to think that no one in the whole palace will go Care about her, because she has been so lonely for a long time.

I thought that Mrs. Yan would never notice these little tricks without anyone noticing, but in fact, she soon found out just a month after I deserted.

I had nothing to do in the afternoon of that day. Taking advantage of Mr. Yan Gui’s lunch break, I sneaked into the backyard, took out the little booklet from my arms that had already lost its cover, squatted under the willow tree, and began to read the small characters in the book word by word. Copying on the mud floor, while copying, I hummed some ditties out of tune. The summer afternoon sun passed through the gaps between layers of willow branches, and with the slightest breeze, it sparsely shone on my body. With the flickering light and shadow, I was in a good mood, and I couldn't help stretching my muddy hands towards the direction of the sun, raising my head and squinting at the flickering light between my fingers.

I didn't stand up until my legs were numb and painful, stomped my feet, stretched my waist, let out a long sigh, and planned to go back home, but when I turned around, I was frightened, and I saw Mrs. Yan , she sat on a stone bench not far away, dragging her chin with her arm leaning on the stone table and looking at me quietly.I panicked and hurriedly bowed my head and knelt down.

"Master Yan, the servant made a mistake, and the servant never dared to desert again. I beg the master to forgive me."

I didn't dare to raise my head, and my voice became smaller and smaller, full of anxiety and guilt. How long has Yan Gui been watching behind me? Wouldn't she really see all my ugly appearances at a glance?

Just as I was thinking wildly, my lower jaw was lifted slightly, and I was forced to raise my head, and met Yan Guiren's clear eyes at a glance.

She smiled and raised the corners of her mouth, leaned over and gently wiped off the plaster on a certain part of my cheeks, I could even clearly feel the gentle caress of the slender white onion fingers on my cold skin Action, she is so close to me, surrounded by a faint fragrance of orchids, I was so shocked that I forgot to speak, this is the first time I saw Yan Guiren’s smile, I never knew her The smile is so fresh and moving, the corners of the eyes are curved like a bright and clean crescent moon, the corners of the mouth are slightly raised, and the pink cheeks make her originally gloomy and gloomy much brighter. Such a nobleman is indescribably gentle and peaceful, I can't help but stare blankly.

She smiled and asked me to get up, then turned around and walked under the willow tree, and squatted in the dirt by herself, carefully looking at the small copying words I just wrote.

"You can read?" she asked suddenly.

"My mother taught me some things when I was young." I replied in fear.

"The writing is good. Then, what about those ditties you hummed just now, did your mother teach you?"

She turned to me with a look of curiosity.

"No, that...these are made up by the servants themselves."

With red cheeks, I explained in embarrassment.

"Oh, teach me when you are free. By the way, you can read. Do you like reading?"

She picked up the tattered booklet I left in the mud, flipped through it casually, with a playful expression on her face.

"Slaves...Slaves like it."

I thought about it for a long time before I could barely answer. I don't know why Yan Gui asked me so.

Yan Guiren walked towards me with a smile on his face, and handed me the tattered booklet in his hand. I took it with trepidation and hurriedly put it in my pocket.

"You don't have to be so restrained. Could it be that I will punish you, um, come with me."

Nobleman Yan clapped his hands, turned around and walked towards the bedroom, I quickly responded, followed Nobleman Yan, turned and left the backyard.

In Yan Guiren's bedroom, there are many collections of books, which are neatly placed on the huge mahogany bookshelf next to the desk, and Yan Guiren naturally spends a long time on these books every day.Whenever I tidy up the bedroom, I always look at the dazzling array of books in the library not far away, and can't help but sigh, thinking that it would be great if I could get even a thin volume among them, but I dare not touch it, and I can't Touch, because these are precious to Yan Gui, she cherishes them extremely.But I never thought that Lord Yan would be willing to lend me these precious books.

When I came back from the backyard that day, she told me that instead of letting me do nothing all day to water the flowers and soil, it is better to stay in her bedroom and read books with her.

Since that day, I have come to Yan Guiren's bedroom every day, holding a book and sitting at the coffee table near the desk, serving as Yan Guiren's accompanying reader, living a full and happy life every day.It was only after a long time that I gradually discovered that Yan Guiren is not as indifferent and distant as I had imagined, at least she is not like that to me.

After reading books, she would lean on the soft couch of the mahogany recliner and tell me some sage biographies, ancient myths, and opera allusions; she would sit by my side and teach me how to play the piano; she would stand by my side Watching my practice, from time to time leaned down and gently held my hand with a soft pad, and taught me the writing method of Xiaozhuan stroke by stroke.Yan Guiren seems to gradually regard this kind of teaching as a new interest, and she is always happy. I don't know why she is willing to let me, a lowly servant, be her student, but I can't ask.

She is the master, what the master wants to do, there is no reason for a slave to ask.

As for me, because of Yan Guiren's appreciation, I will always be secretly happy, happy that she can finally accept me, because before this, even though I was the only one in the deserted Zhilan Palace, she never paid attention to me I am glad that at least she doesn't have to be so lonely anymore, because she is willing to let me be by her side in a real sense, even if sometimes we have no communication at all in a day; I am glad that she is willing to bend down to teach me, because my identity is so Humble, even if she thinks these are little more than little pastimes.

The days passed day by day, until the end of summer and the beginning of autumn, when I bid farewell to the life of being alone every day, and gradually penetrated into Yan Guiren's life, but for Yan Guiren, her character, her way of life, her past, her life I still know very little about her family background, she is like a confusing mystery, no matter how curious I am, I can never find any details on her that can solve the mystery.

She is always as calm as water, without any waves, which makes people puzzled and awed.But even such a noble lady, I have an inexplicable liking for her. I like her lazily leaning on the window sill of the west window, watching the orange-red sunset slowly disappear into the courtyard with high walls, red bricks and green tiles. At the end, she sits in front of the desk and carefully draws an ink painting with a few small pens. She lies on the soft couch surrounded by musk and reads carefully with an ancient book in her hand until night falls.

Sometimes the huge palace is so quiet that you can even hear the crisp crackling sound of burning candles from time to time, but I always stand quietly in an inconspicuous corner, secretly observing Yan Guiren's every move, enjoying the A moment of tranquility and comfort, let the time flow quietly between the two of you.