Are you with Dazai today?

"I'm so happy."

Osamu Dazai smiled and looked at Shiinagawa who was slowly squatting down while leaning on the railing. This scene seemed familiar, but the position of the two after the roller coaster was over was reversed. Only Shiinagawa was left feeling uncomfortable this time.

At this time, the two of them had already sat on the merry-go-round horse several times back and forth, Dazai Osamu said it was the last time, and Shiinagawa was the repeating machine for "really the last time".

Shiinagawa still couldn't beat Osamu Dazai, and was dragged to sit several times in the end.

"You did it on purpose..."

He covered his face, and a faint breath leaked out from between his hands.

"What is Shiina talking about?"

Osamu Dazai questioned this with the attitude of "I don't have it, it's not me, I don't know."

After all, what evil could a kitten be?

Definitely on purpose!Shiinagawa was very sure of his guess, the other party didn't even intend to pretend, even a person like him who was very slow to detect other people's emotions could see it.

"Really...don't bully me."

"Hey, it depends on my mood."

Admitting that he was bullying without hesitation, Shiinagawa squinted at Osamu Dazai, hoping that his eyes could convey his dissatisfaction to the other party.

However, Osamu Dazai has always been blind by choice, no matter how much he stares at him, he will only ask if there is any problem with an innocent face.

Obviously you are the culprit who made me suffer so much, and you still smile so brightly, it's too much.

[Obviously...it's obviously the culprit that caused me such pain, why can I still laugh now? ! 】

"bad."

"Thank you for the compliment?"

【You are such a bad and hopeless guy. 】

【I'll accept that as a compliment. 】

It feels a bit familiar with the dialogue pattern, but it has a different state of mind than before, and it is not overwhelmed by guilt and pain.

Obviously a similar conversation...why?

"Then another merry-go-round?"

"Absolutely not!"

Shiinagawa, who moved faster than any time, ran directly to the shooting booth.

"I think shooting is fun too!"

What answered him was Dazai Osamu's laughter, with his unique sense of evil after successfully teasing someone.

【thump】

Shiinagawa:?

He pressed the position of the heart, and the organs there performed their mission conscientiously as before. They were running well and the frequency was stable, and it sounded like a healthy heart.

nothing... right?

Maybe it's just his own illusion, Shiinagawa thought, and quickly put this matter behind him.

The shooting booth is Shiinagawa's home field. For Osamu Dazai, it is more interesting to observe the face of the booth owner than watching Shiinagawa win without any suspense over there.

When Shiinagawa hit the first target, the other party could still smile leisurely, but the boss couldn't smile anymore after the second and third, because the man who came to his booth shot Basically every bullet hit the target accurately, and if this continues, his daily turnover will be wiped out.

After all the bullets were exhausted, there were not many prizes remaining on the stage. Shiinagawa weighed the toy gun in his hand, and felt that he was not that good at using guns. He only hit seven out of ten rounds. Fat, if Oda Sakunosuke came to fight, he must be able to hit all ten rounds.

"Which one does Dazai want?"

Shiinagawa didn't think about taking away all the toys that were knocked down. In this case, the boss is too pitiful. He has no interest in toys. He will take whichever Dazai wants. If he doesn't want one Neither take.

"Does Shiina look at me like the kind of person who would be interested in stuffed animals?"

Shiinagawa: ...

Oh too.

Then...then don't take it.

In the end, the owner of the shooting booth didn't lose anything, Shiinagawa was very satisfied, and Osamu Dazai was also very satisfied to see other people's faces change, so congratulations, congratulations.

After that, the haunted house, the torrent ride, the bumper car, Shiinagawa was even dragged by Dazai Osamu to play several times on the slide, except for two adult men, all the young children on the slide made Shiinagawa After suffering for a while, if Dazai Osamu came up with bad taste, Shiinagawa couldn't stop it.

From Shiinagawa's point of view, Osamu Dazai's eyes are shining, and he looks really happy, which is enough.

"Okay! Finally came to the regular program of the amusement park, no matter who is going on a date, the motorcycle-sky-wheel-"

"You are still so energetic..."

These two seemingly one man and one woman are actually a combination of two men until dark. At first, Shiinagawa wanted to make Osamu Dazai happy first, but then he gradually let himself go. When he was in the haunted house He also discussed with Osamu Dazai to scare the staff out of the haunted house.

Shiinagawa bit the crispy tube in his mouth, although he could no longer taste the taste, but seeing Osamu Dazai eating so happily, the taste must not be much worse.

"Hmph, of course, that's a Ferris wheel, a Ferris wheel!"

"Yes Yes Yes."

"Shiina's reaction is so flat!"

"Even if you say so..."

Shiinagawa really didn't know what kind of reaction to have.

"Wow - I'm so happy - it's a Ferris wheel -"

He said this in a sticky tone, pretending not to see Dazai Osamu's subtle expression, and tilted his head innocently.

"Do you think such a reaction is okay?"

"Hiss—it's fine with the original reaction."

Shiinagawa, who felt that he had finally regained his strength, was a little happy, but he soon realized that it seemed a bit naive to do so, so he tried hard to control his emotions and suppress the happy head that had just emerged.

Most of the people who came to ride the Ferris wheel were male and female groups, and a few were parents who brought their children to play. Shiinagawa Dazai made a very gentlemanly gesture of invitation before going up.

"Don't do that, Dazai, it's disgusting."

"...To be honest, if I can't touch Shiina now, I will definitely step on your foot hard."

"Then please let me go."

After getting on the Ferris wheel and sitting down on opposite seats, the two of them had nothing to say. Shiinagawa almost lay on the window and watched the Ferris wheel gradually rise, and then looked down at the bright lights.

In the end, he still had no clue about the black unknown object entangled with Oda Sakunosuke and the others, and he didn't see anyone entangled by similar things after shopping for a day.

He quietly looked at Osamu Dazai at the other end, and the other party looked at the window on the other side like him, and Osamu Dazai reflected from the window did not smile at all.

"Why did Dazai bring me to the amusement park today?"

"Huh? It's just like I said before, to experience the sweet love."

Osamu Dazai held his face very girlishly.

"Because a life without dating is too miserable!"

It seemed that the other party didn't intend to tell his true thoughts anymore, Shiinagawa understood it, and sighed in his heart.

Just when Shiinagawa thought it was hopeless to get the truth, Osamu Dazai suddenly changed the subject.

"Actually, I lied to you. I was with Shiina to test whether I am gay. From the results, I don't think I am."

A small question mark popped up in Shiinagawa's head. He couldn't understand why he could be tested for homosexuality with him, but since Osamu Dazai said so, Shiinagawa agreed.

"That's really nice."

Osamu Dazai: ...

"Have you nothing else to say besides this?"

Osamu Dazai seemed to want to hold Shiinagawa, but he raised his hand halfway and then put it down, his expression looked a little... I don't know if this is the right way to describe Shiinagawa, a little uneasy and aggrieved?

"Uh... congratulations?"

I don't know if it was Shiinagawa's illusion, but after saying this sentence, Dazai Osamu's expression became fierce for a moment, as if he wanted to strangle him to death.

"……You're angry?"

"no!"

It seemed that he was angry, and Shiinagawa just wanted to sigh after seeing it.

"How does Shiina see me?"

"Eh……"

The neon lights lit up at night hit Dazai Osamu's face, and Shiinagawa squinted his eyes due to the slightly brilliant colors. Different colors mixed and distorted in his eyes, giving off a dizzying metallic luster.

"Of course Dazai is the most special one."

It will not change form, the only truth that he can see.

Speaking of which, he still doesn't know what the real faces of those people who have been with him for a long time are like. It's okay if they always look like this in their eyes. The world is very different from others. It is precisely because of the experience of reality that it becomes more unbearable and more painful.

"If Dazai is twisted, I might go crazy and become a person who is not like me at all."

"And that would be worse for me than death."

It is precisely because he met Dazai Osamu and saw what can be called a miraculous scene that he can be supported to endure these differences, and Dazai Osamu also occupies most of his memories.

【thump】

"Well, that would be great."

Shiinagawa saw Dazai Osamu's softened expression, his lazy voice was softer than before, and the fluffy curly hair must look good to the touch.

[plop, plop]

Then Shiinagawa suddenly felt a little upset, and he also understood what he was upset about.

"Can I touch you?"

"what?"

I saw the child's bewildered expression, but it wasn't enough. I wanted more, more things, enough to fill the emptiness in my heart, enough to suppress the screaming things in my heart, enough to satisfy the bad to the hopeless self.

From Osamu Dazai's point of view, although Shiinagawa was asking if he could touch him, he actually didn't intend to listen to his answer, because the other party directly extended his hand.

Then that hand stopped just as it was about to touch Osamu Dazai's hair.

"Can I touch you?"

"Wait...wait! Eh, eh? What?!"

"Now, here, I want to touch Dazai. I hope it's not me who became a woman, but the real me to ride the Ferris wheel with Dazai."

Shiinagawa paused for a moment.

"I think I might be jealous. I am jealous that I can ride the Ferris wheel with Dazai now that I am a woman."

Shiinagawa looked at him with those golden eyes that Osamu Dazai felt more than once like fragments of stars.

"Yes, I want to touch you."

"Ah... ah... I can't help it."

Osamu Dazai's eyes wandered, and his slightly hasty tone seemed very cute to Shiinagawa.

Although Shiinagawa will not tell Osamu Dazai, because the other party has reached the age where he does not want to be praised as cute.

And the moment Dazai Osamu gave permission, Shiinagawa put his hand on the side of Dazai Osamu's face, he gently stroked the slightly dry skin, feeling the soft fluff on the surface of the skin and the gradually rising heat.

It's amazing, I saw expressions that I didn't see, and I want to see more, I want to know more things about Dazai, not relying on the ability to cheat, but I want to see it with my own eyes.

In the end, Osamu Dazai was the first to pat Shiinagawa's hand, and said in a low voice with a sullen face as if impatient.

"It's almost there?!"

"what."

Shiinagawa took back his hand obediently with some regrets, and put it on his knee peacefully.

"Sorry... because it's my first time at the amusement park, so I might be a little... excited?"

"Then it's fine if you don't come again in the future, just like a little ghost."

"Hey, what an unexpectedly mature speech."

"Because I am different from Shiina, I am a mature adult."

after……

Shiinagawa has not told Osamu Dazai about his physical problems, he may not be able to have "the future".

The atmosphere between the two of them is very relaxed now, and Shiinagawa wonders if this is a good time for him to tell the whole thing.

【thump】

Osamu Dazai will know sooner or later, it may be better to tell the other party to prepare for parting early, and his heart is beating faster than usual at this time.

[plop, plop]

"Dazai, I..."

At this time, Shiinagawa, who wanted to say everything, saw what he had been looking for today.

"Ok?"

Osamu Dazai sent a question word to indicate that he was listening, but he didn't get Shiinagawa's next words. The other party stared at his own hand, as if he saw something that shouldn't appear here.

【Plop, plop, plop】

Black things wrapped around Shiinagawa's arms, and they gradually gathered together as if they appeared out of thin air. At this time, Shiinagawa realized that his heart was beating a little too fast, not because of nervousness, because this beating frequency had exceeded The speed that tension can achieve.

And Shiinagawa finally remembered where he had seen this kind of thing.

"Cough...cough!"

Osamu Dazai saw a large stream of blood spit out from Shiinagawa's mouth, and fresh and dazzling red color spread in the small space.

Why would you forget?Shiinagawa felt a little regretful, he had obviously seen this kind of thing many times, in the hospital, on the battlefield, on everyone he killed... and on Oda Sakunosuke and the others.

Everyone is basically dead.

Oops, it's very bad if it goes on like this, regardless of him, who will definitely disappear, Shiinagawa doesn't want Oda Sakuno to help them die no matter what.

In the end...why?

The last thing reflected in Shiinagawa's vision was Osamu Dazai calling his name.

Don't put on that face that looks like you're about to cry.

The author has something to say: Wuhu, the word count is exploding!

Speaking of which, Gide is coming out according to my schedule, but don't worry, Oda won't be killed (than thumb)