Inferior by Nature

I don't know if he thought I was asleep before saying this, and I'm not sure if he needs my response. He hesitated, so he missed the best time to speak, and lost sleep in the dark.

Sometimes the relationship between people cannot be simply and crudely classified as "good" or "bad".If it is not completely "good", it must be "bad". How many truly good people can there be in this world?

Just like my mom.She worked hard to raise me, and she was never willing to buy a new dress, but she was willing to spend tens of thousands of yuan to buy me a piano, which is undoubtedly very kind to me.But when I failed to meet some of her expectations, she beat and scolded me frequently, and attributed everything to the "inferiority" of the other half of my genes.

Another example is my dad.In my memory, he is always humorous, cheerful and talkative, and has always been patient with me. As long as I raise my wishes, he will try his best to satisfy them.But he didn't think about his two children when he cheated, and even, I think he may not realize that he is a "father".

Say me again.I fall in love with Ran Qingzhuang, I miss him in my heart, and I am willing to do so many things for him.However, in getting along with him, I had dark thoughts more than once, and put his feelings on the back burner.I reported on him and Lin Sheng, I lost his ring, I concealed the news of Lin Sheng's return to China, I took advantage of his drunkenness to commit crimes...

If he wants to say that he is not a thing, then I am actually not a thing.

Touching the cold, sharp-edged metal medal under the pillow, I whispered to the vague bulge not far away: "He's not right, you're fine."

In my heart, he will always be good.

Learning from the lessons of Darong Village, the superiors may think that four people are not good enough, so they added two more people to Tao Nian.Two people stood at the door of the ward, two people sat in the car outside the hospital door, four people watched Ran Qingzhuang and me, and implemented 24-hour strict protection.

When I was doing the checkup, three big men, Ran Qingzhuang, Tao Nian, and Zhang Qing, accompanied me for the checkup. We had to wait for the report after the checkup. Tao Nian told us to go back first, saying that he would take me to the ward later.

When Ran Qingzhuang turned around, he hesitated, the two aunts sitting next to him who were also waiting for the report stopped talking and looked at us curiously.

"Are you friends or brothers? There are so many people with you when you see a doctor alone. You two have such a good relationship."

"Friends." I smiled at them.

"Oh, that's really not easy, such a good friend..." The two of you sighed one sentence at a time, saying that nowadays people are indifferent, and there are very few young people who are so affectionate, and sometimes relatives are not as good as bloodless ones outsider.

Ran Qingzhuang looked at them, then turned to me: "You guys go first, Tao Nian and I will wait together."

I would like to say that there are not many reports, just two films, so there is no need for two people to take them.But Ran Qingzhuang had already walked to Tao Nian and sat down, apparently just to inform me, not to ask for my opinion.

In the end, I could only go back to the ward with Zhang Qing.

The waiting process was a bit long. I moved out the cello from the corner, afraid of disturbing others, instead of playing the bow, I plucked it instead.

The strings of the cello are very hard, and the overtones are not sufficient when plucked, and it is easy to lose the pitch.But there is no audience at this time, so it doesn't matter whether it sounds good or not.

The left hand presses the strings, and the thumb of the right hand sweeps the strings obliquely downwards. The low and round notes are like raindrops falling on the stone steps, one after another.

A simple song "Happy newyear" was played over and over ten or twenty times, until the fingertips were almost swollen, but Ran Qingzhuang still didn't come back.

The thumb of the right hand swept across the strings as usual, but this time it picked out a dissonant note.

I frowned, looked at my right hand suspiciously, and found that I was trembling uncontrollably. I wanted to stand up. I stepped on it, but my right foot was as soft as noodles, and I fell to the ground with my piano. .

The abnormal noise in the room immediately caught Zhang Qing's attention outside, and he knocked on the door: "Ji Ning, are you okay?"

The right side of my body twitched uncontrollably, my tongue was numb, and there was a hard "click" sound in my throat.With my eyes fixed on the door, I tried to call for help, but soon lost consciousness and lost consciousness.

When I woke up again, I had already been transferred to the bed, and my muscles were so sore that I could only lift a few centimeters at most when I moved my fingers.

The nurse who was adjusting the ECG monitoring equipment for me saw that I woke up, and immediately shouted outside: "Doctor Xie, the patient is awake!"

The first one to rush in was Ran Qingzhuang, followed by a female doctor in her 40s. Her face looked kind and upright. Although she could not be called beautiful, there was a small bright red mole in the center of her eyebrows, which was very special.I just woke up and was still a little dizzy. At first glance, I thought I saw a Bodhisattva.

"How do you feel? Is there any discomfort?" Ran Qingzhuang came to my side and asked while touching my forehead.

I shook my head: "Thirsty..."

With just one word, I would be startled by my own voice, it was as if a stone had been ground by rough sandpaper, it was so dumb.

Ran Qingzhuang turned his head to look at the "Bodhisattva", as if he wanted to ask the other party's opinion.After the female doctor nodded, he dared to help me sit up.

I drank a large glass of water with his hand and finally quenched my thirst. I exhaled comfortably, and when I spoke again, my voice was not so scary.

"What's wrong with me?"

"You passed out and were in a coma for two hours." Ran Qingzhuang put down the water glass and introduced the female doctor in front of me, "This is Dr. Xie Rongjie, the director of neurosurgery here, and will be your attending doctor in the future."

"Hello..." I tried to raise my hand, but it shook so badly, let alone shaking hands, it was hard to straighten it.

Doctor Xie hurriedly stopped me: "You just had an attack, you need to rest well, don't be impatient."

I stared at my trembling hand, nodded, and took it back.

During the two hours when I was in a coma, Dr. Xie had seen my test report, and it was basically consistent with the previous diagnosis in the hospital. There was a space-occupying lesion in the left brain. Judging from the imaging characteristics and my on-site symptoms, it was considered a glue Glioma.

This is a highly recurring intracranial malignant tumor. Due to its invasive growth, there is no obvious boundary between normal tissue and tumor tissue. Surgery often cannot completely remove the lesion, and the effect of radiotherapy and chemotherapy is also very poor.

To make matters worse, the location of my tumor was not very good, and there was no way to do a targeted biopsy, and the only way to obtain pathological results was a craniotomy.And because of its bad location, the operation risk was huge, and it was a near-death experience.

Can live who wants to die?But indeed, as an ordinary person, giving up treatment is the least painful and least burdensome choice I can think of for my family.

"I understand your concerns. Regarding the operation, you can think about it again. After that, I will send your test report to several supernatural experts at home and abroad, and listen to their opinions. I hope there will be better results." Treatment plan." After analyzing the condition, seeing that I was having a hard time making a choice, Doctor Xie didn't mean to embarrass me, and gave me enough time to think about it. After nodding his head as a signal, he took the nurse and left.

Only Ran Qingzhuang and I were left in the ward, and it became very quiet for a while.The instrument made a regular sound of "di-di--", like some kind of strange white noise, which actually accentuated the stillness.

"you……"

"I……"

The two opened their mouths at the same time and closed them together.

After a while, Ran Qingzhuang asked: "Are you hungry?"

It was past ten o'clock when I fainted, and it should be a little sooner now. Although my body was occupied by weakness and fatigue, and my other feelings were very light, I still nodded to him.

He went to the outside room, and after 2 minutes, came in with a dinner plate.There are fish, shrimp and meat, and the dishes are quite good.

I had no strength, so he just fed me spoon by spoon, the fish picked their spines, and the shrimp peeled off their shells.

"Have you eaten?" I swallowed the food in my mouth and asked him.

Another large spoonful of rice was brought to his lips, and he replied, "I'll eat after you finish."

I actually don't have much appetite, and I don't want to eat halfway through the meal, but because he fed it, I ate the whole plate of rice abruptly, and ended up feeling overwhelmed.

"Uncomfortable?" He probably guessed it from my face, stretched his hand into the quilt, and gently rubbed my stomach.

Through the thin fabric, I can feel the temperature of the other person's palm, which is higher than mine, and press it tightly against the stomach, making me drowsy comfortably.

Maybe it was because I ate too much and felt sleepy, or this attack really exhausted my energy, so I fell asleep quickly again, and this time I didn't wake up until night.

I don't know if Ran Qingzhuang rested in the middle, but as soon as I opened my eyes, he was in front of me.

It may be due to the fact that I have been fully rested. Apart from a slight weakness in my hands and feet, there is no serious problem.

I got out of bed and ate dinner by myself, and didn't ask Ran Qingzhuang to feed me.

He and I seem to have reached a strange tacit understanding, and neither of us mentioned the tumor.Carefully, we care for a fragile bubble together, as if it will never break if you don't touch it.

When taking a shower, Ran Qingzhuang asked me if I wanted to help.Although I have seen all kinds of people, but I am so big and want him to take a bath for me. After all, I am embarrassed, so I waved my hand and went into the bathroom alone.

The end of being brave is that the moment you close your eyes and flush the water, you lose your balance and fall, accidentally tearing off the shower curtain.

Ran Qingzhuang rushed in from the outside almost the second I fell, I wondered if he was standing outside and eavesdropping, otherwise how could he act so quickly?

"Has it happened again?" He helped me to sit on the toilet, before turning off the shower, my hair was soaked in large areas.

"No, just accidentally." I didn't want to worry him, I just said it was an accident.

He stared at my legs, half kneeled down, and slowly reached out to touch them.I looked down and saw a purple bruise.

I can't remember whether I fell when I fainted yesterday or today, but when I wake up tomorrow, there should be more bruises.

His movements were like feathers gliding, a little itchy, but not painful.Along the way, he checked my body. It may be that the right side of my body lost control when I fell. My right side fell particularly badly. From the shoulder to the arm to the knuckles, everything was purple.

Gently stroking the bruises on my knuckles, he looked down at my wound, and suddenly said hoarsely: "Ji Ning, are you dying?"

I was stunned for a while, watching his trembling eyelashes, and suddenly realized that he was not asking me a question.

In fact, he understands everything, he just wants me to burst the bubble with my own hands.