Inferior by Nature

As a kid, my mom would hit me when she felt I wasn't doing better than she expected.

The thugs can't practice the piano, and they can't walk with kicks, so she usually beats me on the back.

She would make me get on my knees, hug a chair, show my back, and beat me with a belt until she was satisfied.

When my younger sister saw me being beaten, she would always cry and come to protect me, preventing my mother from letting her do anything.But she didn't know that every time my mother hit me, it was because she was extremely angry and disappointed in me.That was no longer her usual self, she didn't have any reason at all, the more she stopped her, the harder she would be beaten.

Later, I felt that my mother was going to beat me, so I would ask my little sister to go outside for a while, and then open the door to let her in after the work was done.

Once my mother beat me a little hard.She got angry and didn't have time to find the belt, so she whipped me twice with the broom handle.By the third blow, the broom handle was not broken, and the whole broom head flew out.It was also because of this flight that she felt that she might have gone too far, so she didn't continue, and threw the remnant of the broom on the ground, slamming the door and going back to her room.

This generally indicates that she will not come out tonight.By the time the sun comes up the next day, she'll be back to normal, no more hysterical, no more rage.She will digest all the negativity as if nothing happened.

I remember that although there were only two strokes, it was extremely painful.My shoulder was so painful that I couldn't move immediately, and I was a bit reluctant to even open the door for my little sister.

At that time, the younger sister was only less than ten years old, thin and small, but with great strength, she was a good hand in pushing medicinal oil.

"Brother, why does mom hate us so much?"

In order not to affect our growth, and to completely get rid of my father's shadow, since his death, the topic of "father" is no longer allowed in this family.Therefore, the younger sister still doesn't know how Lao Ji died and what kind of existence he is.

Most of the time, I think this is good. It’s good to leave a good thought for my little sister, make her feel that her father is an upright person, and imagine that the other party is a great hero who saves the suffering. These are all very good.But very few times, when my younger sister expressed dissatisfaction with my mother to me, I would feel sorry for her.

She didn't know why her mother became like this, or who made her like this.She didn't even know that Mom didn't hate us, she just hated seeing another man in us.

"There is an essential difference between being harsh and hating. Mom is strict with us, and it's for our own good." I raised my arm with difficulty, touched the little girl's head, and said, "She just doesn't want us...to go astray."

My words obviously didn't convince her, she frowned and asked again: "But the teacher said that beating people is wrong. She can reason for our own good, why must be beating people?"

I was a little stunned by her question. I couldn't find a better reason as a high school student at the time, so I could only use the same excuses to prevaricate.

"You'll understand when you grow up," I said.

The next day I went to school with my injuries, and none of my teachers or classmates could tell that I was injured.

I sat quietly in my seat all day long, enduring the discomfort from my back, and when school was over, I went to the empty classroom to practice the piano with my back on my back as usual.

"Why is your piano sound so weird today?"

That was the first time Ran Qingzhuang spoke to me since I became the supervisor and Ran Qingzhuang became the supervised person.

I stopped and didn't answer, just looked at him suspiciously.

He raised his head from his folded arms, without a look of sleepiness on his face, looked me up and down, and guessed: "You were beaten?"

My personality is not very good. Practicing the piano and studying took up too much of my time, which made me indifferent to socializing, so I didn't have many friends, and I was always alone in school.

Throughout the day, none of the teachers or classmates could tell that I was injured, but Ran Qingzhuang heard from the sound of my piano that I was beaten.

It's a pity not to learn music with this ear.

"No." After all, it was a family scandal, and I subconsciously wanted to deny it.

Ran Qingzhuang obviously didn't believe it, and continued to guess: "Is it the little gangsters from the technical school next door?"

Our high school is considered a good high school in the local area, with a long history, strong teachers, and graduates from well-known universities at home and abroad.Next to our school, there is another school, which is not a very good vocational technical school. There are many people who goof around in the school and few who study hard.

The two schools have stood there for many years, and I don't know which class formed the "feud". When I graduated, the two schools were still in a state of incompatibility.It is estimated that it will continue like this for a long time.

They think we are hypocritical, we think they are really low-level, and they don't like each other. Students from the two schools often have conflicts and fight if they disagree.And Ran Qingzhuang can be said to be the main force in the high school of our school. Since he entered school, he has fought seventeen or eight times, and [-]% of them were against his neighbor.

He seems to be born to be at odds with those people, and when he sees them, he can't live in peace.The teacher really had nothing to do with him, so he wondered if he could stagger the school time with the students next door, so as to fundamentally and effectively prevent the conflict from happening.

This matter was a bit difficult to handle, but because of me, it was just right, and everyone was happy.This is the real reason why he is "supervised" by me here.

"No!" I was afraid that he would think that the school next door beat me up and caused some trouble, so I hurriedly told the truth.

"Yes, it's my mother. I didn't do very well in the math test this time. She was a little angry and hit me..." I put down the bow, tapped the strings with my fingertips, and said in a low voice.

Ran Qingzhuang was a little surprised: "Your mother hit you?" Using the back two legs of the chair as a support, he leaned back slightly, and said in a relaxed tone, "Oh, it's okay."

Being interrupted by him, I had no intention of practicing the piano, so I simply put the piano away, took out my homework and started writing.

Out of the corner of his eye, the chair in Ran Qingzhuang was swaying all the time, so he hadn't been honest.

"If possible, I also hope that my mother can beat me, but I have never seen her."

The tip of the pen paused on the paper, and I turned my head to look at Ran Qingzhuang suspiciously.Seeing him tilting his chair, his hands behind his head, his eyelids drooping, looking listless, he couldn't help but ask, "Where did she go?"

"Didn't go anywhere." He didn't look at me, but looked at the blackboard in front of him, and said in a volume that both of them could hear, "My grandma said that it should be some dubious woman my dad met outside who gave birth to me. He didn’t want to raise me, so he threw me to my dad and ran away. My dad didn’t want to raise me either, so he threw me to my grandma.”

Knowing his life experience so suddenly made me a little bit surprised.

"Ah... Then you, then you have a father anyway, my father passed away when I was eight years old." I have never experienced this kind of atmosphere, I always feel that there should be something to say, but I don't know what to say What.With a clumsy tongue, he said the last thing he should have said.

The dishonest chair stopped for an instant, and Ran Qingzhuang finally set his gaze on me.

"My dad...was shot and killed when I was 12 years old." He finished with a half-smile, grabbed his schoolbag from the belly of the table, carried it on his shoulder, and walked outside the classroom, "I didn't either. Enjoy a few years more paternal love than you."

After he left, I slammed my head on the table in frustration, accidentally pulled the wound on my back, and grinned in pain.

"Hey, no wonder I don't have any friends..."

After the performance in the evening, I was changing clothes in the dressing room with other male members of the troupe. Hu Wen, the violinist, suddenly opened the door and barged in, scaring all the men to cover their important parts.

"Hu Wen, what are you doing?"

Hu Wen leaned on the locker with one hand, panting, "It's not good, Xiaofang's husband... and, he's fighting with Manager Xin!"

When she came in, I was untying my tie. When I heard that something had happened, I didn't bother to untie it properly, so I tore off the tie and threw it aside, and ran to Manager Xin's office.

From a distance, I saw a group of people crowded in the corridor. I pushed aside the crowd and squeezed to the door, and saw Fang Luosu standing at the door in a daze, with the office door closed behind him, and Manager Xin's miserable howls could be heard from time to time.

Although Nan Xian is a literati who studies music, he is still a man after all. If Manager Xin is beaten like this, it is hard to guarantee that he will not make mistakes.

"You dodge it first." I pulled Fang Luosu away and was about to open the door. As soon as I put my hand on the doorknob, Fang Luosu slammed it from the side and hit the wall unprepared.

My brain was in severe pain in an instant, so I could barely lean against the wall for support, and my vision was a little blurred.

"Is it you? Did you tell Nanxian?" Fang Luosu asked sharply, "I even said I won't argue with you. If you want the chief, I'm willing to give it to you. Why do you still do this?"

"Calm down first." She is pregnant now, so she shouldn't get too excited.

"You are always...always like this. You look like a gentleman without any stains. What are you pretending to be? Don't you want to be the chief? If you don't want to be, why don't you tell Manager Xin to give the chief to me? I know you Look down on me, think I'm low." Fang Luosu burst into tears, pointed at me with his index finger, and said, "You are not much better! Are you tired of living? You are hypocritical!"

It turned out that she had always looked at me that way.

The severe pain passed quickly, but I still felt dazed.

"I……"

The office door was suddenly pushed open, and a fair-looking man stood expressionlessly behind the door, his hands were bloodstained, and his clothes were ripped out.

Behind him, Manager Xin fell to the ground, groaning weakly, calling "Help", and it seemed that he would not die for the time being.

"Nan Xian!" Fang Luosu wanted to step forward, but Nan Xian ignored him and pushed him aside indifferently.

The other party came straight in front of me, and asked in a cold voice, "Did you already know?"

Without mentioning the cause and effect, all kinds of plans have been postponed. I really knew it a long time ago, and there is no reason to quibble.

"...I'm sorry." I lowered my gaze, not daring to meet his gaze.

Nan Xian laughed back angrily, gave me a thumbs up and said: "Very good, you can. Ji Ning, you are very good!"

He turned and walked towards the stairs, the crowd automatically parted to make way for him.

Fang Luosu followed two steps, looked back at me, and finally called Nan Xian's name to chase after me.

I leaned against the wall and waited for a long time until Hu Wen came to me and asked me about my situation.

"Are you OK?"

"It's okay." Shaking my head, I glanced at Manager Xin in the office, and I suggested, "Call an ambulance."

No matter how I called Nanxian afterwards, I was always on the phone, so he probably blocked him.

I had no choice but to send him and Fang Luosu separate messages, hoping that they could communicate like adults and not be impulsive.

A call came within 2 minutes after the message was sent. I was overjoyed, thinking it was from one of the couple, but when I picked it up, it turned out to be an unknown caller.

I answered the phone in frustration: "Hello? Who is this?"

The other party reported his family name as Feng, the chief steward of the Jin family.

"That's right, the performance last time was very exciting, and the young master liked it very much. Mr. Jin and his wife agreed that the young master's education needs talents like you, so they sent me to ask, do you have any intention to change jobs?" Feng Butler spoke eloquently. And Tan, "We have arranged a better job for you in Lion King Island. Whether it is salary, or welfare subsidies, it is definitely the best you can find... the best."