Inferior by Nature

My fingertips sank into the strong muscles of my arms, I half-raised my head, and endured Ran Qingzhuang's storm-like plunder with difficulty, and my breathing gradually became difficult.

"Hmm..." With trembling knees, I slid slowly against the wall uselessly, but was spotted by Ran Qingzhuang, who grabbed my back and lifted me up.

Letting go of my lips, he panted heavily, just looking at me for a while, without speaking.

I was breathing heavily, and just looked at him, unable to speak.

It's not an illusion, it's not an illusion.

We were clearly talking about serious business just now, very serious business, why did we suddenly kiss each other?What did I say before Ran Qingzhuang kissed me?

I remember... I care if you can live in the end.What's wrong with that?I'm definitely going to die anyway, isn't he the only one who cares?

But... wait, he doesn't know I'm going to die, or that I'm doing it to atone.From his point of view, I did such a dangerous thing, put my own life and death at risk, and helped him several times without asking for anything in return, the only possible reason is... I like him.

Before my chaotic brain had time to think clearly, Ran Qingzhuang pressed the back of my neck, pressed against my forehead, and sighed, "Ji Ning, don't die."

He didn't explain, and he didn't continue this kind of intimate behavior. I don't think even he himself knew why he kissed me.The dangerous environment, strong emotions, and a little misunderstanding have a high probability of triggering the so-called "drawing bridge effect".

There is no need to get to the bottom of it, let alone take it to heart. After leaving here, the factors that caused the illusion disappeared. Without my mentioning, he himself will stay far away from me.

It must be like this.

Certainly so.

"Yeah." I closed my eyes, put aside distracting thoughts, and promised him, "I must be careful."

Jinchenyu and Jinfeisheng will be away from the island for exactly three days from tomorrow, and Ran Qingzhuang thinks this is the best opportunity to act.

In the past, apart from Jin Chenyu, only Feng Butler would come over to give some refreshments after the class was over.Just in case, Ran Qingzhuang limited the time for me to enter the secret path to about 20 to 30 minutes. Once the time is up, I have to go back.

"I will try to lure Butler Feng away." Ran Qingzhuang said, "But Kong Tan has always been in charge of the security on the west side. If I make it too obvious, I'm afraid it will arouse his suspicion, so you must not stay inside for too long."

I nodded and wrote down one by one to reassure him.

The next day was sunny and fine, so good that I even had a feeling that everything would be smooth sailing.

Jin's father and son left the island early in the morning. Jin Yuanbao said that he originally wanted to go with him, but Jin Chenyu refused to take him with him anyway.He was so angry that his eyes were swollen from crying, and his eye sockets were slightly red when he was talking to me.

"Father agreed with everything, and said that as long as my brother agreed, he would take me out to have a look, but my brother didn't agree with anything." The child walked ahead angrily, stroking the rough wall with his palms all the way.

"Didn't you say there are monsters outside? They may also be afraid that you will be captured by monsters." While talking to him, I secretly wrote down every intersection.

"But they are not afraid of monsters. Why do monsters only catch children?"

"Maybe children are easier to catch."

Jin Yuanbao stopped his figure, turned his head and suddenly showed me a sly smile: "No, I won't be easy to catch, teacher, come and chase me!" As he said that, he ran away, unimpeded in the dark secret passage, without hindrance. After a while, he ran far away.

I hurried to catch up, the flashlight kept hitting the front, for fear of losing people.

"Yuanbao, slow down..." I suppressed my voice, and soon ran out of breath.The last time I ran this way, it may have dated back to my student days.

After running like this for about ten minutes, I couldn't catch up anymore, so I bent down and put my knees on my back to call for a stop.

"Let's... let's go back."

Jin Yuanbao was gone at first, but as soon as I said this, he suddenly poked his head out from a fork in the road not far away.

"So fast?" Said so, but still obediently walked towards me.

I took a breath, stroked his head, and walked back together with him.

"If someone finds us sneaking in, we won't be able to play like this in the future."

Jin Yuanbao raised his head and asked, "Then will you still practice the piano when you go back?"

"If you don't practice, you have to do something. What do you want to do?"

He pondered for a moment, and said: "I like to watch you play the cello. The first time I saw you, I thought you played the cello very well. That's why I told my mother that I want to learn the cello. I didn't expect it to be so troublesome." He took my arm and shook it coquettishly, "Go back and practice the piano for me."

Facing his innocent smile, I couldn't help but feel a little guilty in my heart. Naturally, it was what he said.

After coming out of the secret passage, I immediately restored the painting, looked at the cello leaning on the door, and confirmed that no one had entered before, and then I was completely relieved.

For the rest of the time, Jin Yuanbao sat on the ground beside me, hugged a pillow, rested his chin on it, and watched me play the violin seriously.

After playing a few songs, I felt a weight on my feet, and looked down, only to see him leaning towards me with his lips slightly parted, sleeping soundly.

I temporarily leaned the cello aside, carefully leveled him, and then pulled out the pillow from his arms to put it under his head. After all this was done, I set up the piano again, and played two relatively gentle pieces.

The next two days went very smoothly. By the third day, I had almost memorized the secret path, and I could find a way out without even needing Jin Yuanbao to lead the way.

Once the map is in hand, there is no need to go in again. I discussed with Jin Yuanbao: "Your father and brother will be back tomorrow, let's stop playing and wait until they leave the island next time, shall we continue?"

Jin Yuanbao slumped all of a sudden, pouted his lips and asked, "Then I'm going to practice the piano again?"

When I was his age, I practiced the piano every day for several hours, until I got calluses on my hands.Although he said that he had an hour of class every day, it was mostly for fun. After a few days of relaxation, he refused to practice even for an hour.

I sighed secretly in my heart, and said: "If your brother comes, you still have to put on a show."

He took a bite of the small cake and nodded reluctantly: "That's fine."

At night, I lie on the washing machine, recall every fork of the secret passage, and expand them one by one on paper.

Ran Qingzhuang stood beside me with folded arms, staring at those lines, as if planning to engrave them into my mind bit by bit while I was drawing the secret path.

"This is the study room." Ran Qingzhuang pointed to an area I just drew, and tapped his fingertips.

I looked up at him: "Here is what you are looking for?"

He didn't answer, just skipped the topic, and instead asked me to find a reason to leave the island tomorrow.

"It takes a long time to go out of the island now, and it's not easy to leave." And when I was so sensitive, I said to leave all at once, wondering if it would arouse Jinchenyu's suspicion.

This fox is too cunning, I dare not be careless.

"You are my man, they won't get stuck with you." Ran Qingzhuang took the map I had drawn and looked at it carefully.

I was still lying on the washing machine and asked him in a low voice: "Do you have a plan for how to steal things?"

He glanced at me: "Who said I want to steal?"

If I don’t steal anything, what should I do to draw secret roads for him, for fitness?Don't say it, don't say it, anyway, it's useless if I know it.

"Guess."

"Don't guess." He crumbled the maps and flushed them down the toilet in front of me.

"Ah!" I was startled, and quickly stood up, "You...you remember everything?"

He said "hmm" and said, "What happens after that has nothing to do with you, and I have nothing to do with you either."

I was confused for a moment, and realized that he was saying goodbye to me.

Once this scripture is parted, I don't know if I am dead or alive, maybe... I will never see you again.

When I thought that this might be a farewell, my heart tightened violently: "How sure are you?"

"I've made arrangements. Even if I fail in the end, someone will protect you and your family." He said lightly, still refusing to answer my question directly.

It's almost like explaining the funeral...

I became more and more uncertain, and asked, "Seventy percent?"

He didn't speak, and seemed to want to end the topic.

I saw that he was going to leave, so I quickly blocked his way, stood in front of the door, and asked persistently, "Sixty percent?"

He pursed his lips and pulled my arm.

"...[-]%?" I grabbed him with my backhand and pulled my wrist, tremblingly spit out the probability that I was already hard to accept, "You can't be half sure, right?"

He sighed, and his voice was already hoarse when he spoke again: "This is not a competition, where is the confidence? It is either life or death. No one knows which ending it will be until the end."

With both hands tightly gripping his wrists, I've never felt so useless and powerless.

I thought I could help him by saving him from taking that risk, but I just took the easy part.Maybe it saved him a little time, but it didn't get any better. He still had to take the risk by himself.

"Let me go for you..." I'm so sick anyway, I don't care if I die a few months early if I fail, and I can still make some contributions to the world before I die.

I held Ran Qingzhuang's palm and pressed it to my cheek.

"I'm fine... I can go for you..."

Although his fingers are long and slender, their fingertips are covered with thin calluses, and the palms are not as smooth and soft as mine. They are hands with strength that can be felt just by touching them.

He moved his fingers, moved his thumb up, rubbed the end of my eyes, and said mercilessly: "If you go, there will only be one ending."

If I go, it must be a dead end.

I closed my eyes, pressed his hand firmly, and was suddenly overwhelmed by a great sadness: "I'm sorry..."

Before the words were finished, a chuckle came from above her head, followed by a light kiss on the forehead.

"You really like apologizing."

It seems that his drawbridge effect is not over yet.My cheeks are slightly hot thinking.

I didn't want to be a drag on Ran Qingzhuang, so I submitted my resignation the next day and planned to leave the island.However, Steward Feng returned this resignation letter intact and told me that if I want to resign, I need to follow the procedures and wait for a replacement to be found in one month before I can leave.

And Kong Tan also made it clear that if I want to leave the island, I can, but I need his people to follow closely.This is simply surveillance in disguise.

After a busy circle and failed to make it, I had to recognize the reality - Jin Chenyu would not let anyone leave without finding out the ghost.