Inferior by Nature

I woke up suddenly and found that the car had turned off, I was alone in the car, and Ran Qingzhuang was nowhere to be seen.

Looking around, the car was parked in an open-air parking lot, and the gate of the cemetery could be seen not far away.I got out of the car and walked in aimlessly, and part of my thoughts and memories remained in my dreams.

It turned out that Ran Qingzhuang really bandaged my wound, he also said that he would win my points back for me, and even gave me his own chocolate bar to make me feel better...

The more I think about it, the more despicable I feel.The sports meeting is for the second year of high school, even if the two of us drifted apart because of Xiao Hei and Zhaofeng in the third year of high school, how could I treat him like that?

for money?In order to guarantee a place?Because he doesn't talk to me anymore?

I actually reported him to the school for these things...

If I can travel through time and space, I really want to go back to eight years ago, pry open Ji Ning's head at that time, and see if the tumor has already taken root in it, otherwise how could I do such a crazy thing?

I still remember that after Ran Qingzhuang was expelled, when talking about him in school, the tone was always not good.Those people laughed and ridiculed, spreading all kinds of things about him and Lin Sheng like gossip.

They took him as a laughing stock and slandered him as a cancerous tumor of the school. Not only did he rot and maggot himself, but he also ruined the school grass.

There were voices speaking for him, but they were quickly drowned in the vast crowd.

It was clear that Lin Sheng was also one of the parties involved, but everyone seemed to subconsciously attribute all the faults to Ran Qingzhuang alone.The teacher is, the parents are, and the classmates are still.

They poured dirty water on him and turned him into a monster that everyone shouted and beat, saying that he was a demagogue, that he was worthless, and that he had a terrible temperament.

And it was me, all of me who caused all of this.

Maybe I didn't sleep well, I felt a little out of breath when I was walking, and my heart throbbed, as if I had a heart attack.

Could it be that the cancer cells have spread to the viscera?

Grabbing the clothes on my chest, I slowly walked aside and sat down on the narrow edge of the roadside flower bed.

Curled up, I sat quietly for a while, and when the pain disappeared little by little, I let out a long breath.He raised his head, looked around blankly, and realized that he had walked deep into the cemetery unknowingly.

Since it is not the winter solstice of the Qingming Festival, even though it is Saturday, there are not many people in the cemetery.Occasionally, one or two people passing by will look at me curiously.

I got up as if nothing had happened, just found a direction and continued to go deeper.While looking for Ran Qingzhuang, he also carefully read the words on the tombstone.

Some people die at the end of their lives, and some people die young.Some people are alone, while others are a family of three.

I don't know where I will be buried after death, will my mother throw me into the sea too?

Now a tomb seems to be quite expensive, but there is nothing wrong with spreading it in the sea.Environmentally friendly and labor-saving.

I couldn't find anyone, so I took out my phone and found Ran Qingzhuang's number, hesitated for a long time, and finally pressed it.

The bell rang three times, and the other person picked it up.

"Where are you?" Before Ran Qingzhuang could speak, I asked first.

He was quiet and asked me, "Where are you?"

After searching for a while, I found a sign on the side of the road that said "5-23".With the mobile phone close to my ear, I reported the coordinates and obediently waited for the other party's instructions.

"Go ahead and turn left when you see 8-12."

After Ran Qingzhuang finished speaking, he didn't hang up the phone immediately, so I kept talking with him with my mobile phone up.

After walking for about three or four minutes, I finally saw the sign in District 4.

"I found it!"

Speeding up the trot and turning into the path, I saw a young woman in a camel long trench coat and fashionable sunglasses walking towards me from a distance.

Her hair is extremely short, so short that it can only be called a board inch, her jaw is small, her lips are plump and full, and her ears wear exaggerated metal earrings.In a short distance of about ten meters, until we passed by, even though she was wearing sunglasses, I could still feel her continuous "watching".Inquiring, curious, and somewhat wary.

The gaze was so inexplicable that I stopped and couldn't help but lower my head and check my whole body to see if there was anything strange on it.

"Ji Ning?"

Maybe seeing my late arrival and not making a sound, Ran Qingzhuang couldn't help calling my name on the other end of the phone.And the other ear that was not attached to the phone also heard his voice at this time, I quickly responded, stopped caring about that strange woman in the windbreaker, and walked quickly towards the direction where Ran Qingzhuang was.

Next to each tombstone in the cemetery is a small tabernacle planted in the shape of a lollipop.Some people put the flowers they brought on the top of the house after sweeping the sacrifice. At first glance, they thought it was a cypress tree in bloom.

I found Ran Qing Zhuang when I scanned such a "flowering" Taber.

He turned his head when he heard the sound, and when he saw it was me, he put the mobile phone by his ear into his pocket, and looked back at the tombstone in front of him.

I also put away my phone and walked over to him.

Ran Zheng's tomb is a joint tomb, a large stele is divided into three small pieces, the far left is Ran Zheng, the middle is empty, and beyond that are Ran Qingzhuang's grandparents.

Two red candles were lit in front of the tomb, and a small bottle of white wine and three apples were placed.Green smoke curled up from the incense burner, blurring the photos on the tomb.

The same wide eyelids, deep eye sockets, strong facial features, and a straight nose bridge, Ran Qingzhuang looks a lot like his father, but Ran Zheng in the photo looks older, with a more mature temperament and calmer eyes.

"My grandma said she didn't want to get too close to my dad, and she would worry about him all day long after she died, and there was only one other in between." Ran Qingzhuang stared at the empty stele in the middle of the tomb that hadn't been engraved yet, and said calmly, "From now on, I will leave it to me." of."

Although it is common to buy a tombstone while alive, or to buy a tomb when a relative is buried, this kind of operation is common.But Ran Qingzhuang's tone made me feel particularly uncomfortable, as if...he was ready to lie down in this small grave anytime and anywhere, facing death more calmly than me.

I pursed my lips, took out three long incense sticks, lit the candle, and bowed three times to the tombstone.

Uncle, although I have never met, I have been acquainted for a long time, and we may meet down below soon, let me say hello in advance, and then visit me at the time.

Tell me what you're missing below, and I'll see if I can bring it to you.You didn't take much care of Ran Qingzhuang when you were alive, but you at least acted like a father after you died. Take good care of him and let him live to old age free from illness and disaster.

After silently chanting in my heart, I inserted the incense into the incense burner, and when I stood up straight, Ran Qingzhuang and I staggered and bent down, and placed a lighted cigarette in front of Ran Zheng's tomb.

Standing there for a moment, until all the incense burnt and the wind blown the smoke halfway, Ran Qingzhuang turned to me, raised his chin toward the way we came, and said, "Let's go."

Back on the main road of the cemetery, Ran Qingzhuang and I walked side by side in the broken sun, neither of us said a word.

The gentle wind blows across the face, who knows who is burning paper money, and the nose is full of choking smoke.

Ran Qingzhuang is much taller than me, and his legs are naturally longer than mine.He is walking leisurely, if I don't deliberately chase after him, after a while I will be half the size of him.

"Why didn't you wake me up in the car?" I quickened my pace to catch up.

Ran Qingzhuang put his hands in his pockets, looked at the road ahead, and said lazily: "Are you a child who is still drinking milk? You have to stick to it everywhere?"

Wherever it goes, it sticks everywhere?It's all at the door, can't you come in?Always be courteous...

I pursed my lips, wanting to argue for myself, but didn't know how to reply other than "I don't have any", so in the end I had to keep my mouth shut.

When we got to the parking lot, Ran Qingzhuang said he wanted to smoke a cigarette and let me get in the car first.I saw a canteen not far away, so I asked Ran Qingzhuang if he wanted some water.

"Mineral water is fine." As he spoke, he took out cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket, and walked to the trash can in the corner.

Although the canteen is small, it has a wide range of goods. In addition to incense candles and flowers for sweeping sacrifices, there are also a lot of drinks and snacks.

I took two bottles of mineral water to check out, passed by the snacks shelf, I saw the familiar red packaging on the shelf out of the corner of my eye, and stopped involuntarily.

At the final checkout, in addition to two bottles of water, there was an extra box of chocolate bars.

After waiting in the car for another 2 minutes, Ran Qingzhuang came back. As soon as I sat down, I handed over the chocolate bar in my hand.

He frowned and backed away, and I chased it to his lips.

Seeing what it was, he was a little astonished. He raised his eyes and looked at me, but he didn't intend to open his mouth. He seemed to be in a stalemate with me.

"It's delicious." I coaxed him, "Eat it...you'll feel better."

"Do I look in a bad mood?" Ran Qingzhuang asked.

How can I answer this, I have never seen him in a good mood.

I can only say: "Eat it will be better."

After all, he also wants to drive, so it is impossible for him to continue to be so stubborn with me. After thinking for a moment, he bit the chocolate bar reluctantly.

Satisfied, I withdrew my hand and took out another one and stuffed it into my mouth.

Ran Qingzhuang started the engine, but did not leave the parking lot immediately.After quickly finishing the chocolate bar, he picked up the mineral water on the cup holder and took several sips, as if to wash away the sweetness in his mouth.After drinking the water, he pulled the handbrake and drove out of the parking space.

He didn't look like he was eating his favorite snacks, it was as if he was forced to take poison to kill himself.

I paused slightly, and asked uncertainly, "You... don't you like to eat?"

Ran Qingzhuang glanced at me, and said with a little distaste: "Are you really a child? How old are you and you still like to eat this kind of food."

I was a little stunned, lowered my head, looked at the red paper box in my hand, and the sweetness in my mouth suddenly turned into a hint of bitterness.

he forgot...

He may remember the game that day, remember being lazy in the infirmary, remember that I appeared in front of him in embarrassment, and he kindly bandaged me, but he doesn't remember the chocolate bar, and he doesn't remember telling me that eating sweets will make me feel better. good.

It's ridiculous, I actually thought that by recovering the lost memories from the ashes, I could resonate with Ran Qingzhuang through a box of chocolate bars.

As a result, people don't remember it at all.I was thinking about it here, but he was inexplicable on the other side.

I really... will never learn to be good, and I will always be self-righteous.How can I feel that he will definitely remember?

Turning the leftover biscuit stick in my hand, I couldn't help a wry smile on my lips.

If I don't remember it today, no one will really remember your box of biscuits.Completely disappeared from this world, as if never existed...

Fortunately, I remembered it all.If Ran Qingzhuang forgets, forget it, as long as I remember.

As long as I can remember he once gave me a box of really, really sweet chocolate bars….