Inferior by Nature

I did bury Xiao Hei with Ran Qingzhuang.

More precisely, Xiao Hei died in front of us.

Ran Qingzhuang liked Xiao Hei very much, ever since this little stray appeared near the school, when Ran Qingzhuang saw it, he couldn't help stopping to touch it and play with it for a while.

My seat is by the window, facing the back door of the school, which is close to the cafeteria and is also the daily cleaning area of ​​Ran Qingzhuang's class.

For a while, I didn't know if Ran Qingzhuang had offended their homeroom teacher or what punishment he had received. Five days a week, I could see him sweeping the floor downstairs every day.It is not appropriate to say sweeping the floor, because he just lazily fiddles with the broom, or holds the broom in a daze.

At that time, I only knew that there was such a person as him, but I was not familiar with him. In my knowledge, except that he was a student of our school, he was not much different from those gangsters in Nanzhi who were not doing their jobs all day long and fighting everywhere.If it weren't for his good grades, he might have been expelled from the school long ago.

Every time I saw him, he was either being criticized by the teacher, or he was punished to stand outside the office door.Although there were no rumors of bullying his classmates, whenever he walked through the corridor with a bruise on his face and a bad face, the students would subconsciously stick to the wall to make way for him.

He's always lethargic, nonchalant, cold, violent.That's all I had of him at first.

The back door is locked all the year round, and it is only opened when the canteen is delivering goods, but Xiao Hei and Lihuamao can't help it.They crawl in and out through the cracks of the door, with skilled and sophisticated postures, and they don’t wander around when they come in. They just wait obediently at the back door of the cafeteria, and there will always be some leftovers from the kind cafeteria lady to feed them.

And as long as Xiao Hei and the others appear, Ran Qingzhuang will not be sleepy.

I remember that the day was sunny, during the morning reading, I accidentally glanced downstairs, and saw Ran Qingzhuang was holding a broom in his hand, waving it and teasing the little civet cat.

The kitten nimbly stretched out its paws to catch the head of the bamboo broom, and even hung on it a few times, while the little black dog was walking and spinning anxiously not far away, innocent and silly, as if he wanted to join but didn’t know how to join look like.

Ran Qingzhuang smiled brightly and briskly. The sun shone on his body and fell on the corners of his raised lips. It was hard to tell who blessed him, making him look extra warm.

It turned out that he could still laugh like that.The inexplicable emotion flashed by, but it just left a faint imprint in my heart, which didn't make me pay too much attention.

Later, in the second year of high school, the teacher gave me the job of taking care of Ran Qingzhuang.Although it was only one semester, it was considered to have been in contact with him, which made me change from "knowing" to "knowing" him.

Xiao Hei and Cihuamao are still little strays near the school, every time Ran Qingzhuang sees them, he will still squat down to pet them, play with them, and feed them.

Talking about it, I also asked him when I was trying to find a topic, since I like small animals so much, have I ever thought about raising one.

Ran Qingzhuang was silent for a long time before he said that when he was seven or eight years old, his family also had a dog, a small native dog with white background and yellow spots, which his grandmother fed for many years.

Every day at school, it will always send him to school with the old lady, and then accompany the old lady home.When the old lady was doing housework, it would quietly lie on the side and watch over it.When the old lady was sleeping, it curled up at the foot of the bed and slept with the old lady.He trusts human beings immensely, and loves human beings extremely deeply.

Then one day, the dog was lost. They searched for it for a long time, but they couldn't find it.Two days later, it was thrown into the yard stiff and cold, covered in bruises, and had been dead for a long time.

The rules of the rivers and lakes are not as bad as wives and children, but no one says you can't touch the dog.

This is a warning.

Ran Zheng hurried back from the outside, the old lady didn't say anything, just slapped him red-eyed.Ran Zheng silently disposed of the dog's body, left a wad of money, and left the next day.

The family has never had a pet since then.

"However, now that my father is also dead, there should be no more enemies coming to the door. I will work as my grandma again, maybe she will let me raise her one day." Ran Qingzhuang said, pulling a The newly folded paper airplane was thrown towards me.

I picked it up and saw it was part of his math paper...The full score is 150, and he got 125 in the test, which is quite a good score. I was 18 points higher than him on the same paper.

"How did you tear it up?"

Ran Qingzhuang folded the remaining half and said nonchalantly, "I've passed the exam, what are you doing with it?"

I sighed, put the paper airplanes in my hand aside, and took advantage of Ran Qingzhuang not paying attention when I left, put them all in my schoolbag and took them home, glued them back to him the next day.

He looked at the re-pasted paper and said nothing, but raised his eyebrows, then randomly stuffed the paper into his schoolbag, but did not tear it up again.

In the third year of high school, Xiao Hei and Xiao Lihua were still wandering outside, sneaking into the school to bask in the sun when the weather was good, but not knowing where to hide when the weather was bad.And without asking, I can guess that Ran Qingzhuang probably failed to convince the old lady.

Although Xiao Hei is small, he is extremely brave. Sometimes when he encounters other stray dogs bullying his classmates on the road, he will always act bravely and rush out to drive away the "bully" for them.The rescued students will be rewarded with ham sausage for their bravery.

Therefore, even though he is also a stray dog, Xiao Hei is well received among Honggao's students.

But not everyone likes cats and dogs and is willing to treat them kindly.

Once on the way to school, I happened to be in front of a few Nanjo gangsters.Little Pear Blossom stepped forward to pester and act cute as usual, but the leading gangster took a look at it and kicked it away in disgust.

Little Pear Blossom ran up to Xiao Hei in fright, and Xiao Hei whimpered twice around it, and then barked fiercely at the gangsters.When the gangster saw that Xiao Hei still dared to bark at him, he pretended to rush up and chase him. The cats and dogs ran away in fright, and the group of people laughed on the spot.

People around dare not speak out, or don't care at all.I wanted to run after the cats to check on their injuries, but because they disappeared and I was about to be late for class, I had no choice but to give up.After school, I saw the kitten licking its paws on the side of the road, and Xiao Hei munching on the sausage that someone gave me, so I was completely relieved.

And then, that day came.

It was already very late that day, and I was about to leave after piano practice, when I spotted a familiar figure on campus, and I took a closer look, it was Ran Qingzhuang.With his back bent, he kept rummaging around the corner near the cafeteria, so focused that he didn't even notice that I was approaching, and he was taken aback by it.

I asked him what he was doing, he hesitated for a while and told me that Xiao Hei had disappeared for two days, he was a little worried, so he wanted to come and look for them at night.

His home is not far from the school, only about [-] minutes walk.

I comforted him that Xiao Hei was so cute, maybe someone liked them as much as he did, so they were adopted together.

"Maybe." When he said this, Ran Qingzhuang still frowned, looking worried.

He didn't continue to search, but left the school with me.

Maybe there are some arrangements somewhere, or maybe Xiao Hei and the others are indeed very spiritual.Just after leaving the school gate, Ran Qingzhuang and I didn't take a few steps, when we saw a small figure limping in the distance.

It also saw us, and yelled "meow" from a distance, with a very long and sad ending sound.

Ran Qingzhuang recognized the other party with just one sound, and hurried over.I followed, and it turned out to be Little Pear Blossom.

Under the dim streetlight, Xiao Lihua limped on one leg, closed one eye, and kept screaming at us.

Ran Qingzhuang knelt down to check its situation, but was avoided by it, turned around and took two steps in one direction, then looked back at us, as if he wanted us to follow it.

"Are you going to take us to find Xiao Hei?" Ran Qingzhuang seemed to understand what it meant, and after confirming it, he followed it.

"Wait..." I hesitated for a moment, afraid of any accident, I also chased after him.

It was a dark and damp alley, and a pile of old furniture was randomly placed against the wall. The irregular stacking method formed a small cavity at the bottom, and Xiao Hei nestled quietly in it.

If it hadn't heard the kitten meowing and whimpering in response, Ran Qingzhuang and I wouldn't even have noticed there was something in it.

"Xiao Hei?" Ran Qingzhuang cautiously approached and stretched out his hand.

Xiao Hei whined and moved, but still cautiously refused to come out.The cihuamao walked up to it and barked softly twice, as if explaining our identities to it.

Ran Qingzhuang waited patiently without taking his hand back.

After a while, Xiao Hei moved himself out.

The word "move" is used because Xiao Hei really moved himself out of the nest by relying on the support of his two front paws.

Anyone who sees it will gasp, it can only be described as "miserable".

The two hind legs were dragging behind weakly, something like intestines protruded from the anus, and the originally bright and round black eyes became bloody and bloody, as if someone had poked them blind.

The scene was too bloody, and I felt a chill in my heart. I couldn't believe that someone would treat Xiao Hei so cruelly.

Ran Qingzhuang trembled, trying to pick it up, but no matter where he touched it, Xiao Hei would cry out in pain.

"Don't be afraid, I'll take you to the doctor, they will save you..." Ran Qingzhuang continued to comfort it softly, took off his coat, and wrapped it up from the ground.

In just two days, Xiao Hei seemed to have lost a lot of weight, huddled in Ran Qingzhuang's arms, and seemed to have lost all strength to struggle.

Ran Qingzhuang ran out of the alley with Xiao Hei in his arms, and I was about to follow, when I remembered that Xiao Lihua seemed to have been injured, so I turned around, picked up the kitten, and chased after him.

The nearest pet hospital was seven or eight hundred meters away from the dark alley. Ran Qingzhuang ran all the way and disappeared in front of him in a short while.I carried the piano on my back and held the cat in my hand. I was so out of breath from running that I almost fell to my knees when I arrived at the hospital.

The kitten's left forelimb was fractured, and one eye was a little red and swollen, but fortunately, it survived.Xiao Hei's injury was much more serious. The doctor carried him into the consulting room to check for a while, then came out and shook his head at us, saying that there was little point in resuscitation.

Xiao Hei's eyes were poked blind with a sharp object, and his intestines were blown out by a firecracker stuffed in his anus. The doctor also found the residue of the firecracker in his body.

The doctor suggested euthanasia for Xiao Hei, saying that if not, it may have to suffer for several hours before dying.

Two days ago, it was just a little mop dog wagging its tail happily, cheating food and drink with its good friends all day long.But now, it can only lie weakly on the examination table of the hospital, waiting to die in pain.

It tries hard to survive, but the world doesn't seem to give it a chance.

Ran Qingzhuang stood there like a statue, it seemed that he couldn't accept the news for a while.I gently tugged on his sleeve with some concern, he closed his eyes, and after a while he nodded slightly, accepting the doctor's suggestion.

We were allowed to enter the consulting room and see Xiao Hei for the last time.The nurse also came to the consultation table with the kitten in her arms and bid farewell to Xiao Hei.

The two little guys seemed to have a sense of mutual connection, the kitten put its face next to Xiao Hei's mouth, and gently nuzzled it.It seems to be asking, when will you get better.

The little black dog stuck out its tongue weakly, licked the kitten's face for the last time, and then lay there without moving, and could only tell from the faint ups and downs of its fur that it was still breathing.

The doctor came with a syringe, which was already filled with medicine.

After connecting the syringe to the indwelling needle, the doctor said: "When you are ready, I will push it. After pushing it down, it will know nothing, and there will be no more pain."

I'll go to see Ran Qingzhuang and let him make the decision.

Ran Qingzhuang carefully touched Xiao Hei's curly and dirty coat, then clenched his fists tightly, hanging by his side, and slowly uttered two words: "Push."

The potion was injected into Xiao Hei's body along the needle tube, and within a few seconds, the ups and downs of fur disappeared, and Xiao Hei died.

The kitten in the nurse's arms suddenly struggled and jumped onto the examination table, looked at Xiao Hei, raised its head and meowed at Ran Qingzhuang.

It wasn't the soft meow of an ordinary cat, but rather puzzled and dissatisfied.

It didn't understand why the puppy's breath disappeared.

"It's dead." Ran Qingzhuang told it.

The kitten sat beside Xiao Hei and stopped barking, wondering if it understood Ran Qingzhuang's meaning, and began to lower its head to lick the curly hair on Xiao Hei's back, as if it was doing the final cleaning for it.

Come clean and cute, and leave clean and cute.

In the end, Ran Qingzhuang and I found an open space to bury Xiao Hei. After the burial, Ran Qingzhuang asked me to go home.I asked him what will happen to the kitten in the future?He thought about it and said that when the kitten was well, he would take it home.

"Grandma said yesterday that I can adopt them."

My heart tightened, and I didn't know if I should sigh "God's will to tease people."

Sometimes fate is like that, full of unnecessary drama, and stacked doom.

It was the case with my dad, and it was the same with Ran Qingzhuang.

I thought this was the end of the matter, after all none of us knew who was killing Xiao Hei, and even if we knew, there was nothing we could do about him.

Unexpectedly, a few days later, things changed again.

A dog abuse video began to circulate in the school.The photographer bound the puppy's limbs and mouth, stabbed the puppy's eyes in turn with outrageous and cruel means, and then stuffed small firecrackers into the puppy's anus, and then set it on fire.

The video is only 3 minutes long, and the whole process is filled with the screams of dogs and the laughter of the abuser.During this period, a kitten rushed over and was kicked away mercilessly.It can be seen that there is more than one abuser, but because the video has been speeded up, their age and gender cannot be distinguished from their voices.

Such a video may be circulated on the Internet and in the society, but why is it circulated among a group of high school students?

Because the puppy in the video is Xiao Hei, and because at the end of the video, only a few tenths of a second of the school uniform appeared on the screen, which belongs to Nanzhi.

Honggao and Nanzhi are feuds, which was a foregone conclusion before I entered school.

There are many frictions between the students of the two schools, and it happens every year.It's not impossible to ignore hatred and become lovers and friends, but there is always a bit of staring.

If it was said that the two schools just didn't like each other before, then in the third year of high school, there was a bit of a tug-of-war, and the initiator of this tune was Ran Qingzhuang.

Since we don't know who the garbage is, the whole school is classified as garbage.The smell of gunpowder in the two schools gradually intensified, and they were on the verge of breaking out.

The teacher talked to Ran Qingzhuang more than once, telling him not to cause trouble, he promised well on the surface, but turned around but still went his own way.

Then I got to know Mega.

I don't quite remember why I suddenly became his tutor, but from a certain day on, he would come to the school to find me after school, sneaking into the school without attracting anyone's attention.Sitting where Ran Qingzhuang used to sit, he is a hundred times better than Ran Qingzhuang when he is diligent and inquisitive.

At that time, he loved to dye his hair, but it was not as high-profile as it is now, and he dyed it flaxen.

Zhaofeng is one year younger than me, and he can be regarded as an influential figure in Nanzhi University. He is very talkative in their grade.

Honggao avoids Nanzhi, but Nanzhi is different. He doesn't take Honggao's hostility seriously.

The two schools overlap on the necessary roads. Sometimes when Zhaofeng meets me, he will come up to say hello to me from afar.After a long time, Ran Qingzhuang also heard the wind, and came to settle accounts with me.

He called me out of the classroom with a cold face, dragged me into the toilet, locked the door behind him, and asked me what happened to Zhaofeng.

"We're just...friends."

"Friend? Are you friends with that kind of trash?" Ran Qingzhuang stared at me in disbelief.

His choice of words made me a little uncomfortable, Zhaofeng is very hardworking, and has always wanted to get into a better junior college, not the rubbish he said.

"He's not what you think..."

I explained to him that Ran Qingzhuang is like a tyrant who doesn't listen to any advice.

"Cut him off," he ordered, without giving me a second choice at all.

I was shocked by his tyranny and afraid of his overbearing attitude, but I always felt that he would not do anything to me, so I boldly refused.

"No."

As soon as the words were finished, a sharp fist brushed against me and hit the toilet partition behind me, making a loud noise.

I opened my eyes slightly, and my breathing froze for a moment.

"I'll say it again, cut off contact with him." Ran Qingzhuang said in a deep voice.

This is not an attitude of negotiating, he is completely trying to suppress me with violence.

My eyelashes fluttered slightly, I swallowed, and asked him, "What if I don't? You have no right to restrict who I make friends with."

He withdrew his fist and looked at me with a look like he didn't know me.

"Don't you?" He spit out two syllables in a strange tone, his dark eyes were condensed.

I flinched, my lips pursed, and I always felt that if the fist fell again, it would not hit the board behind me.

"Listen to me, he actually..."

"Who locked the toilet door? Hurry up and open the door! Why are you so unqualified? Others still need to use it!"

The sudden knock on the door interrupted what I was going to say, Ran Qingzhuang glanced in the direction of the door, looked at me for a moment, walked over and opened the door.

When the people outside the door saw him, they immediately fell silent, as if they didn't dare to breathe.

"Aren't you going to the toilet? Go." Ran Qingzhuang opened the door further.

The man came in in a hurry. When he saw me, his eyes flashed with surprise, but he didn't stop walking for half a minute. He seemed to escape into the compartment closest to the door, and locked the door in the next second.It was as if some ferocious beast was chasing after him.

The current environment is no longer suitable for conversation, Ran Qingzhuang took one last look at me, turned around and strode away without saying anything.

It couldn't have ended like this.

I have such a premonition in my heart, but I don't know how it will explode.

I spent the week tremblingly, I tried to avoid Ran Qingzhuang as much as possible, for fear of having another conflict with him.

As always, Zhaofeng would come to the school to look for me secretly after school. It’s not that I didn’t think about changing places for tutoring, but he said that he lives on campus. If he doesn’t mind, he can go to their dormitory, but there are too many people and the smell is not too bad. nice smell.

I thought about it and had to give up.Quiet, bright, and nearby, there is indeed no better place for supplementary classes than our school.

Then, we were discovered by Ran Qingzhuang.

I don't know how long he watched outside the door, but when he kicked the classroom door open, both Zhaofeng and I were scared to death.

Zhaofeng grabbed his schoolbag and wanted to run, jumping over a row of tables and chairs, only to find that the back door was tightly blocked by the abandoned old podium.

Ran Qingzhuang looked at him like he was looking at a dead person.Male lions will not allow other males to appear in their territory, and will attack if they find them.

Oh no.

I stood up and stood between him and Zhaofeng. I didn't do anything shameful, but I felt guilty facing him.

"What are you doing?" He put his hands in his trouser pockets, standing at the door of the classroom like a door god, his eyes slowly moved from Zhaofeng to me.

I was shocked: "Make up lessons."

"Remedial lessons?" Ran Qingzhuang repeated these two words, with an obvious expression of disbelief on his face, "The garbage from Nanzhi asked you to make up lessons, so you made up for him?"

Zhaofeng saw that he wasn't a teacher, so he wasn't afraid anymore: "Hey, don't think I'm afraid of you!" He rolled up his sleeves, as if he was ready to accompany you.

"I know you, the leader of the gangsters from Nanzhi." Ran Qingzhuang gladly accepted the challenge, took his hands out of his pockets, and began to roll up his sleeves.

"Are many friends the leader of a gangster? Then you are the same?" Zhaofeng threw his schoolbag aside, and replied unceremoniously, "I am a gangster from Nanzhi, and you are a gangster from Honggao."

This sentence was like stepping on Ran Qingzhuang's minefield, as soon as his expression changed, he was about to step forward.

In order to frighten Ran Qingzhuang, the grade director had issued an ultimatum that if he fights again, he will be expelled.

I immediately stopped in front of him, not letting him approach Zhaofeng: "Don't be impulsive. Fighting now will attract security guards. If Director Chen finds out and wants to call your grandma over, you...you can bear to watch." Does she worry about you?"

Ran Qingzhuang's face was gloomy, and he didn't stop there: "Get out of the way."

Zhaofeng was still provocative: "Ji Ning, get out of the way, I'll let him know how good I am."

I almost wanted to rush over and beat him up, even if Ran Qingzhuang let him knock him over with both hands, it would be more than enough, if I really let Ran Qingzhuang go over, I have to go to the hospital to see him tomorrow.

"If you don't leave, I won't give you extra lessons!" I turned my head and yelled at Zhaofeng.

The power of make-up lessons is still great, Zhaofeng "cut", picked up the schoolbag on the ground, and patted his back on his shoulder.

"Then you have to be on your guard. As long as he rushes over, I can only hit him." He bypassed me and Ran Qingzhuang, walked out of the classroom in a non-urgent, calm manner, and disappeared outside the door.

During Ran Qingzhuang, there was a sign of rushing over, but I pressed my chest hard and pushed him to the wall.He didn't seem to expect that I would fight him, the back of his head hit the blackboard heavily, and a painful expression appeared on his face.

"Yes, I'm sorry..." I was at a loss, trying to check his injuries, but before I touched him, he was opened.

"Don't touch me." He touched the back of his head, still not changing his strength.

Mega should have gone far.

I took a step back, stayed away from him, and explained again: "He really came to me to make up lessons. You believe me, he is different from those people."

Ran Qingzhuang glanced at his fingertips, and hung to his side: "Why should I trust you? Why should you trust him?"

He was messing around, and seemed to have decided that I was a member of a privately affiliated school, a traitor who cooperated with the other party to destroy Honggao.Although I didn't say it explicitly, the words were very clear - if I want to be friends with garbage, I will be a degenerate, and I am also garbage.

"I... I don't understand why you are doing this, just for a dog?"

He squinted his eyes, and said in a serious tone, "Just for... a dog?"

I know that Xiao Hei is more than a dog to him, it is more like a knot in his heart, a nightmare from childhood to adolescence.

But I also know that his state is not normal.

I raised my voice: "You said you are different from your father, but look at you now, the violence is unreasonable. So what if you find the murderer who killed Xiao Hei? Kill them to stop violence with violence ? That's just a dog, are you ruining your future for it?"

If it was under other circumstances, Ran Qingzhuang might still be able to listen to what I said.But at that time, the conditions were too bad, the right time, place and people were right, and nothing was right.He is completely like a irrational beast, not only did not calm down, but also became more furious because of my words.

With bare eyes, he rushed over, grabbed my skirt, and roughly pressed me against the desk.I thought I was about to be beaten, so I raised my arms to cover my head and face, my eyes were tightly closed, and my body was trembling slightly.

The fist didn't come down for a long time, I opened my eyes a little, and saw Ran Qingzhuang looking down at me, with ice flames in his eyes, mixed with some emotions that I couldn't understand.

But soon, these fragmented emotions disappeared, and when he met my eyes, there was only complete indifference in his eyes.

He let me go and took a few steps back: "Don't let me see him in Honggao again, or I will make him look good."

I lost all my strength, knelt down on the ground, looked up at him and didn't make a sound, afraid that he would show timidity if he made a sound, and couldn't speak properly.

He lowered his eyes and looked at me for a while, then turned and left in silence.

Determined that he would never come back again, I slumped my shoulders all of a sudden, and threw myself on the cold ground, and kept silent for a long time like that.

After that, the relationship between me and Ran Qingzhuang has degenerated from "casual acquaintance" to "stranger", and even... there is a tendency to develop in a worse direction.Even if he met me in school, he would treat it as if he didn't know me, and sometimes he happened to meet his eyes, and would immediately glance away in disgust.

I felt depressed, but there was nothing I could do.

Others just hate you and don't want to make friends with you. Can you still force them to row the sculls of friendship with you?

It is not good for the school to be used as a place for make-up lessons. Fortunately, Zhaofeng found a classmate who opened a small restaurant later, and said that he could borrow the private room of their home to make up lessons, but the condition was that he would teach with his classmates.

One is to teach, and the other is to teach, I naturally agree.

After another half a month, the person who tortured and killed Xiao Hei was found, and Lin Sheng, a student of Nanzhou Vocational College, helped.I don't know how he found it, but the evidence is solid, and there is a complete video showing his face as evidence.

Uncle Lin Sheng is the editor-in-chief of Bocheng Metropolis Daily. After learning about this incident, he reported the incident in detail, filling a whole page.Under pressure, Nanzhi could only expel those students.

And because it aroused a certain amount of social attention, red paint and rotten eggs were thrown at the door of several people's houses every now and then.

However, this incident obviously did not teach this group of scumbags a lesson.They didn't regret what they had done, instead they blamed Ran Qingzhuang and Lin Sheng for making things worse, making them street rats that everyone shouted and beaten.There was a man named Gao Wei who held a grudge, and even chose a dark and stormy night to lie in ambush in the alley, and asked Ran Qingzhuang to eat the sap.

After beating Gao Wei, he fled. Fortunately, Lin Sheng was with Ran Qingzhuang at that time, not only called an ambulance in time, but also took care of Ran Qingzhuang in the hospital for a night, and finally locked the prisoner based on his confession.

When Ran Qingzhuang reappeared at school, there was gauze on the back of his head, and his complexion looked bad.

When I saw him approaching from a distance, I wanted to say hello to him and ask him how he was doing.

The prisoner has been found, and the enmity with Nanzhi is not so deep. We should also...reconcile, right?

He raised his hand, before he could say "good morning", Ran Qingzhuang brushed me and walked to the other side of the corridor without looking at me.

He has no intention of reconciling with me, or in other words, he does not think that the relationship with me needs to be "reconciled".

But at this time, the leak in the house happened to be raining all night, and the boat was late and the wind was blowing.My mother accidentally fell and hurt her waist. Not to mention the loss of the only labor force in the family, taking care of her has become a difficult problem.

In the early years, when my mother scattered all of Lao Ji's ashes into the sea, our family lost contact with Lao Ji's family.And my mother's natal family is out of town, the journey is far away, it is inconvenient, and the relationship is ordinary, so it is not troublesome.

I am in the third year of high school, which is a critical period. My mother would not let me sacrifice my studies to take care of her.The last solution I came up with was to buy a lot of steamed buns and put them in the refrigerator, warm them up for her in the morning and put them on the bedside. When she was hungry, she would eat pickles.

But within a few days, she stopped eating pickles and just ate dry steamed buns, because she had to drink water when it was salty, and she had to go to the toilet after drinking water.There is no one at home, so she can't go to the toilet, so she can only drink as little water as possible, and she always endures it until the younger sister returns home at [-] o'clock in the afternoon.

My mother ate steamed buns by herself, but couldn't bear us to follow suit, and once wanted to teach my little sister how to cook.But the little girl was only nine years old at the time, and she couldn't even hold a knife. I couldn't bear it, so I asked Zhaofeng's classmates and parents if they could pack some unsold rice and cold dishes to take home.

Fortunately, the other party was very talkative, not only brought me back rice and cold dishes, but also fried an extra hot dish for me every day.But in this way, it would be difficult to refuse to make up lessons, after all, people are soft-spoken.

I have to go back very late every day, and my younger sister and mother are waiting for me very late.When eating, my mother can still take care of the appearance of eating, but the younger sister wolfs down the whole thing, as if she can't wait to eat the bowl.

At times like this, I'm always sad.

If my dad was still alive, if I didn't have to learn an instrument that costs so much money, if I could study better, if I could get that scholarship...

Countless ifs hovered in my mind, turning into dark clouds and pressing towards me.

The school's recommendation quota has not yet been determined, but Ran Qingzhuang and Lin Sheng appeared in front of me at that time, that place, and in that way.It was as if the apple that Eve plucked, the first neck that Cain bit, prompted me to make the worst decision.

Before, I thought that I reported them because of my greed and jealousy, but now that I think about all this, I think it might be revenge.

Revenge for Ran Qingzhuang's ignorance and indifference towards me, revenge for him... for not responding to my outstretched hand.

Ji Ning's memory may be lacking, but it's not wrong.In addition, even if it is a recalled memory, it is not necessarily a complete memory.