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Turning over, I felt that something was wrong, and subconsciously stretched out my hand to touch it. Instead of feeling the sofa, I touched the bed sheet.

I opened my eyes and found myself lying in the bedroom.

"Are you awake?" Yan Minglang's cold voice came.

Thinking of what happened yesterday, I frowned and shrank on the bed.

The slippers made only a slight rubbing sound as they stepped on the soft carpet.I close my eyes tightly.

The quilt on my body was lifted, and I didn't want to talk to him for the time being, I still closed my eyes and didn't respond.

"Don't sleep," he patted my head, "go downstairs for dinner, and I'll take you out for a stroll later."

I froze and slowly opened my eyes.

Yan Minglang withdrew his hand and stood up: "I'll wait for you downstairs."

I stayed in bed for a while, then sighed and got up to wash.

On the way, I just watched the scenery outside the window without saying a word.Yan Minglang sometimes glanced at me while waiting for the red light.

I know that he actually knows that I am angry with him, and when he took the initiative to talk to me just now, I have already decided to stop the meaningless and childish behavior of the Cold War, but my heart is empty, dazed and lonely, and I can’t mention it at all. interest in speaking.

After a long time, he stopped the car and said to me, "Get out of the car."

I followed him out of the car boredly, but suddenly found a big bookstore in front of me.

I glanced at him somewhat unexpectedly, and followed him into the bookstore.

He took me up to the second floor familiarly, and then introduced me: "This floor is full of original books, and the English books are in the leftmost column."

After he finished speaking, he raised his chin, motioned for me to go over, and then picked up a book casually and read it.

He was looking at an original Japanese book with a fresh and unique cover.I really don't know where the bottom line of knowledge is for this man, as if he knows everything.There are books in various languages ​​on his bookshelf, and he covers a wide range of knowledge. Unlike me, although I am never picky about books and food, I still like to read novels if I have to say it.

I pushed the shopping cart and watched as I walked.

In fact, it is more convenient and quicker to buy books in online bookstores, but in physical bookstores, you can choose slowly and quietly.I haven't enjoyed such a quiet and comfortable leisure time for a long time.

I have chosen many books.

Most of them are novels, there are also some collections of prose poetry and comic books, and I also found a few books for learning Chinese.

I don't know when, Yan Minglang also came to me, and occasionally he would recommend a book to me.

For a moment, I felt that he seemed to have really listened to what I said.

Maybe he decided to bring me here because I told him I like reading books?

The whole morning passed quickly, I had a lot of harvest, and bought more than 20 books. Although I had just received my salary and originally planned to pay the bill by myself, Yan Minglang had a card from this bookstore and directly paid for me .

Remembering yesterday that he deliberately provoked him to quarrel and said something, but he kindly took me out to buy books, I felt a little embarrassed.

When he took me to the restaurant for dinner, I glanced at the menu, and the salary I just got was roughly enough for two people to eat this kind of meal.So he asked him: "Will you let me pay the bill later?"

He looked at me in surprise, lowered his head, put down the menu suddenly, and stood up: "Forget it, let's go home."

"what happened?"

"I didn't eat much yesterday, so make me a hot pot again today."

I raised the corner of my mouth, walked in front of him, and said proudly: "Your choice is very wise. I found that the hot pot I cooked with my own hands is even more delicious than those sold outside."

Although the smile was shallow, I could still see that he smiled.

In fact, cooking hot pot is not really a dish cooked by yourself, it’s just that the hot pot base I bought is really fragrant.

Yan Minglang deliberately took out a bottle of red wine from the wine cabinet, and there was no one to pair the hot pot with red wine.

I rarely drink alcohol.Australian law also stipulates that it was not allowed to buy alcohol or go to bars before the age of 16. Although my father had a lot of famous wine at home when he was not bankrupt before the age of [-], and I often went to various banquets with him and my mother, but my mother was drinking and drinking. Smoking has very strict requirements on me, and I am not very interested in these things. Until now, I have never smoked, and I have hardly touched alcohol.

Had champagne and very sweet cider a few times before, but very little.When serving wine with hot pot, it is inevitable to drink a few more sips when it is extremely spicy. Before I know it, I have already drank three glasses.

It was only then that I realized that I had a very poor capacity for alcohol, and my head was already a little dizzy.

I have never tried to get drunk, and I am not as ignorant as I imagined. Apart from dizziness, my mind is still clear, but my heart is beating hard, and my behavior has become bolder.

I grabbed Yan Minglang's hand, touched his empty ring finger, and asked him, "Where's the ring?"

It was because I was too sober that I asked this question that has troubled me for a long time.If it is normal, even if I am entangled, I don't have the courage to ask. Although ordinary people think that it is a question that they have the right to ask as their partner, but even now, I don't know my so-called "partner" Whether the identity is the kind of partner in the ordinary sense.

Even with the booze, I still felt nervous, my heart was pounding, and I was looking at him without blinking.

Yan Minglang was still eating vegetables, but he seemed caught off guard by the question. He was slightly taken aback, looked at me for a while, and said plainly, "I was washed down the sewer while washing my hands."

I bit my lower lip, and said coolly after a while: "That's really a coincidence."

He frowned slightly: "Shaw, I don't have to lie."

I chuckled and let go of his hand.I can't say whether I believe it or not.

Being so conscious, I began to loathe myself for being suspicious.The panic and confusion about Yan Minglang and Lu Chen's unknown past and the unknown future between us surged up uncontrollably from the bottom of my heart.

The appearance of Lu Chen made me truly feel for the first time how much I need this marriage.Apart from Yan Minglang, I have nothing, no family, no relatives.Life in Australia has become a thing of the past. When I came to country Z, I left the past behind.I am afraid of losing him, and also this place that can be regarded as my own home for the time being.

If he loves me, even if there are 1 Lu Chens, I can ignore them.However, I know that in Yan Minglang's heart, I am nothing more than an accessory to him that he needs.Even if you love it, it's just like you love cats and dogs, there is no such thing as the only one in the world.

I lay my head sideways on the table, my eyes couldn't focus on a certain place, I couldn't control my mouth, and finally asked him: "Do you love him?"

I couldn't see Yan Minglang's expression, I only heard him put down his chopsticks.

"Love? You tell me, Yan."

He didn't speak, and I could feel the expression on his face when he looked at me. There must be no joy.

"I know, you must love him very much, right?" I remembered the smile he showed in front of Lu Chen when I ran into him on the tennis court that day, "You've never smiled at me like that, Yan." Painful, I turned my head, put my forehead against the table, stepped on the footrest of the chair, and slowly curled up into a ball.

"You're thinking too much, Shaw," he said.

He didn't explain.

Maybe he didn't feel the need to explain, maybe he acquiesced that what I said was true.

He didn't say anything anyway.

In this unfair marriage, I have no right to call the shots. I can only grab his hand and beg him: "Don't leave me."

His bright and deep eyes looked at me, and I knew that in his eyes, I was like a parasite that couldn't leave the host, small and pitiful.

I also don't want to appear so cowardly.

My parents jumped lightly, abandoned me, and turned into two indistinguishable puddles of meat under the 28-story building.I threw up for a full month and it took three years to barely overcome my fear of raw meat.

My grandfather was seriously ill, and when he was dying, he held me tightly with his hands that were as thin as bones, and swallowed his last breath.

I watched my relatives leave one by one with my own eyes, leaving me alone.

I cannot experience the fate of being abandoned again.

Yan Minglang said to me indifferently: "No."

"you promise?"

"I promise."

I breathed a sigh of relief, slowly let go of my hands, and put my trembling hands under the table.

He got up and walked to the French window, opened the small window next to it, and took a cigarette out of his pocket.

No matter what this man does, he is elegant and graceful, and the way he lights a cigarette is even more damn masculine.

My heart was beating faster and faster, I stared blankly at him, and I suddenly realized that I am not gay, I have no feelings for all men and women, I just fell in love with this person.

Although sometimes, his indifference will always hurt me, but he gave me a home, he became my only relative, and he also gave me a lot of warmth.

He strokes my hair very gently.

He would say my eyes and smile are beautiful.

He will take me to eat the authentic snacks of this city.

He will think when I rarely argue with him, and then tell me that I didn't think so much, although it is cryptic, it is an apology.

He'd notice that I liked the rides and take me all day at the playground.

When I was sick, he would stay with me on a hard bed in the hospital.

Although he can't love me, although he has many shortcomings, although I will be sad because of him, but he is my only family member in this world.

After smoking a cigarette while standing by the window, Yan Minglang suddenly turned his head.

I caught off guard and looked at each other, I don't know what kind of infatuated expression is on my face.

I just saw him startled.