Wading in muddy water

At 11:30, a reminder popped up in the WeChat group of Dacheng and Sanzi, and I was startled by a ding-dong sound.

The message from Dacheng is a string of URLs. You can tell what the URL is just by looking at the combination of letters and numbers that can't spell the meaning.Sure enough, within two seconds, Dacheng sent out three obscene default expressions, a soybean face with two hearts in his eyes and drooling in his mouth.

There are very few homework left by the school. At this time, they are either sleeping or playing with their mobile phones under the covers. The three sons reply in seconds, with the default emoji of three thumbs up.

I usually don’t get involved in this kind of topic. Dacheng and the others said that I was pretending before, and they shared with me the “little tricks” on how to be more enjoyable, saying that this is human nature. We are pure men masturbating.I'm really not pretending, judging from the frequency with which they exchange experiences and share URLs in the group, I'm not as frequent as they are.

Oh, by the way, Dacheng and Feng Mengrui broke up.

We split up the day after my birthday. Dacheng said it was annoying. After more than a month, I got tired of it.I always think that he should have seen Feng Mengrui talking to me that day, but his playful smile is still the same "women are like clothes", or it may be because he is really tired.

In the dead of night, the group suddenly became quiet after sharing a website address. I rolled my eyes, and I knew what those two pure men were doing without guessing.

Half an hour later, Dacheng came back to life and sent a voice message. When he clicked on it, there was five seconds of silence, then a melancholy sigh, and then Dacheng's emotional singing: I can't catch love, I always watch it slip away Come on, there are happy people everywhere in the world, why can't I be one of them?

Almost none of the words are in tune, but I can still hear that he is singing our group song. After Dacheng and I broke up, our group song changed back to a single love song.

I held down the voice and scolded him: "Sister Wang Yiyun, pure man masturbates the plane, you fucking fucked up the plane Wang Yiyun."

The third son is pretending that he hasn't finished yet, pretend, just pretend, and he is not afraid of breaking his skin.

These two people have both entered the sage time, and they are probably thinking about the meaning of life, and I also started thinking about life together inexplicably.But there is really nothing worth thinking about in my life, everything is simple and rough, the standard template of the rich second generation: rich in material life, lack of spiritual world, bloody family ethics, and a better future without hard work.

The only possibility worth my mind is my brother.

There is only an empty room between me and my brother's room. Only my brother and I live in such a big villa, and I haven't dared to talk to him for two days.

The memory went back to the night two days ago, I asked my brother if he was in a relationship.

He looked down at me condescendingly. At that time, the ceiling light was not turned on in the living room, and there was only a small lamp, which was not very bright.When I went downstairs, I turned on the wall lamp in the corridor on the second floor, and I could see the outline of my brother.He didn't speak for a long time after I asked that question, maybe not for a long time. I was too nervous at the time, and I was not very sensitive to time. It was like being thrown into a vacuum environment. My lungs hurt even when I took a breath, and the seconds felt like years.

My brother is 26 years old, his voice is deep and magnetic like a mature man, and his smile is mostly airy, as if he doesn't want to waste his energy.But it's also because he often smiles ironically, sneers, or ridicules when he faces me. This kind of laughter is enough.

"Afraid that I will steal your girlfriend?" my brother said.

I knew he was angry, but it was indeed my fault first, I didn't have any grievances or anger, and lowered my posture. If I were still that sheep, then I would show him my belly now, and he would bite if he wanted to. Bite, touch if you want.The most deformed thing is that I treat him like this and beg him to take a look at me and to bite my belly.

I lifted my feet and walked upstairs, hoping that my brother would not turn around and go back to the room.

Fortunately, when I got to the second floor, he was still standing there.

The wall lamp is dark yellow, giving him a hazy and ambiguous feeling.I couldn't see clearly when I was down there, but now I saw this warm yellow light on his body when I was in front of him, it was like going back to a few years ago in an instant, to a wheat field in the northernmost part of Maicheng. Hold my hand and call me Xiaoli.That is the candy he left for me, even if he no longer gives it to me now, but I always miss that sweetness.

I looked into his eyes, and silently said "I'm not afraid of pain" three times in my heart, and then said, "Would you never go back to Lishui Garden after falling in love?"

His eyebrows twitched, as if they were raised, but not much, "Mm."

I panicked for a moment, and a great sadness overflowed from my heart. I couldn't hold it in my body, and it overflowed into my eyes. I almost couldn't help but reach out and grab his nightgown. How could I say "hmm"!But he is obviously my elder brother, even if he wants to fall in love, get married, or have children, he is also my elder brother. I have never heard of a family whose elder brother does not want a younger brother after falling in love.

"No." I said, "You can't do this, I'm your brother."

He laughed again, and the raised lips were evened out, "You are not."

I said that he is a judge, and my understanding of him may be deeper than I imagined. My brother will not let go of any chance of trial.

It's just that I still don't have a clear understanding of myself. I thought I wasn't afraid of pain, and I've been numb for a long time. Although I'm only young, I seem to have been exiled by time for a long time.

Now I realize that I am still afraid of pain, I read his name in my heart, and even want to go to a master to calculate his horoscope, to see if Zhou Boxin really jumped out of a rock, and the reward link is over. , he fined me again.I'm in so much pain that I want to cry, fuck you, I scold myself.

Immediately, my eyes were almost red, and I didn't know what to say, because he was telling the truth, and I was indeed not his brother.Otherwise, Chen Zhiyuan wouldn't want to strangle me, and I wouldn't be inferior to others in the Liu family.Are blood ties that important?I have been his younger brother for so many years, and now because I am not Chen Zhiyuan's son, I am suddenly not his younger brother, so he doesn't want me anymore?

It may be that my sadness made him impatient. For him, I was always a troublesome child, and it was not worth his time to stand here with me to miss the past and sing the praises of family love.He adjusted his stance, stood upright from a casual posture, and got a little closer to me. He wanted to end our conversation, so he answered my initial question head-on, "I'm not in a relationship."

I didn't react for a while, I was still sad, and I was thrown back to the clouds from the bottom of the valley, and the world was spinning, and I was stunned and said "ah".

He was really impatient this time, with indistinguishable emotions in his eyes, he tapped the wall of the glass with his fingers, "I'm not in a relationship, I'm still using my hands, understand?"

My brother said this very frankly.

But we are all men, there is nothing that cannot be said.Dacheng and Sanzi often talk about this kind of topic with me. When I am upset, I think they are annoying, and when I am in a good mood, I will participate in the topic together, but it has never been as awkward as it is now. I swallowed my saliva under my brother's gaze for no reason. Adam's apple rolled and rolled.

Immediately afterwards, I saw his lips curl up again. I think it should be a mockery this time, it must be a mockery.I acted too much like an innocent virgin, like a kid who blushes when he sees a woman with half of her breasts exposed in public, and he will definitely be laughed at by him.

Those hands felt as if they were deliberately sent towards me. The slender fingers, with well-defined joints, were illuminated in a dim light, like a piece of art carefully exhibited in an art gallery.The gesture of holding the cup happened to be surrounded, and the index finger touched the cup twice, and the tendon from the fingertip to the wrist protruded and undulated on the back of his hand.

I stared closely at my brother's right hand, and heard my own heartbeat again.The cup is filled with white water, which has no temperature. I saw it when it was tilted towards me.My brother leaned close to my ear, and said with a laughing voice, "What's the matter, haven't you masturbated?"

There was a sudden "ding dong" on the phone, and I almost jumped out of bed.I forced my brother's words two days ago out of my mind, and found that the phone in my hand had been locked because of my long-term daze.

News from the third son: I often wonder why I have been single for so long, with only my right hand to accompany me.

"I'm not in love, I'm still using my hands."

The third son's words successfully made my brother's voice play in a loop in my head again, what a ghost.I locked the phone and threw it aside, raised my hand to touch my face, and felt an unusual temperature, I'm sorry, I shouldn't blush.This is the real ghost, I jumped out of bed immediately, and turned on the ceiling light in the room with a "snap", the sudden strong light couldn't adapt to it, I squinted my eyes and sat in front of the mirror and waited for myself to adapt to the light.

mom.of.

Really blushing, why?You blush after being teased by a 26-year-old man, and you dare not look at him for two days. Are you crazy? Chen Li is like a pure virgin.I stretched out my hand and slapped myself on the face twice. It didn't take much force, but I just didn't want to face the fact that I was blushing.Staring at the face in the mirror, two unclear palm prints slowly appeared on the cheeks, thinking about what my brother said, the last sentence.

Unexpectedly, he turned off the light, climbed into bed, and clicked on the website sent by Dacheng.

I didn't dare to play it outside, I always felt that my brother would hear it, so I searched for earphones for a long time and stuffed them into my ears. ,

I wasn’t interested in selecting videos carefully, and clicked on one at random, without even buffering. From the beginning of the video, soft moans and suppressed gasps were sent directly to my ears. I frowned, and suddenly became dull.But I still forced myself to look down, since the last time I rejected Ju Lulu in the hot spring villa, I never thought about it again. I blushed and dared not look at my brother's body, it must be because I held it in for too long.

I have read it for a long time, and I have never been so hard to read a math book. Am I sick?Can't get tough anymore?

After quitting and ordering another one, a man and a woman were entangled on the table, their postures and movements were like the "dream" on the birthday.

But this guy is not half as good-looking as my brother, nor is he half as sexy as my brother.

I suddenly remembered my brother's exposed waist, his hands with knuckles, and his careless movements, asking me if I had masturbated.

There are too many people who have praised my brother in front of me. Some people praised his figure, some people praised his face, and some people praised his clothes. Thinking of it—your brother’s lips are perfect for kissing; his nose bridge is so high that I might be afraid of heights; your brother’s temperament is too extreme, the kind that is obviously abstinent but feels that he can push me into a mess when he goes to bed climb.

There was a barrage of bullets in my head, what kind of things are these things, who said these words, how shameless.

My heart was beating so fast that it was about to fly out of my throat, and my scalp exploded in an instant. I reached out to touch it in disbelief, and it turned out to be really hard.I don't quite understand what's going on, but I can't control my head at all.

I am no longer looking at what is playing on the phone. My camera is focused on my brother, Zhou Boxin, and the 26-year-old hormones.

I dare not move, I can only let it stiffen.

You can't, you can't masturbate thinking about your brother, right?I even want to call Song Yiwei now and ask her why I am going crazy again, is there any scientific explanation that can tell me what is wrong with thinking about my brother being hard, or thinking about my own when masturbating What's wrong with my brother?

I must have held it in for too long, tomorrow night happens to be Friday, I have to find a bar or something like a place with Dacheng to release it.

Song Yiwei warned me a long time ago that my brother and I are not related by blood. If I always have such a deep obsession with him, it is not impossible to develop in other directions.

I didn't understand what she meant by other aspects at the time. I just felt that it was impossible for me to stop pleasing him in my life, and I also felt that there would never be any other aspects between us in this life except the brotherhood that can be maintained, but now I know what Song Yiwei means.

The author says:

My wish is not to be locked