[Entertainment circle] The starlight in the pen is not as good as you

When Mo Tongtong was five years old, he knew for the first time that there was a big world outside the house.

She walked out of the room unattended by accident and saw a window that she had forgotten to close.

Outside were green lawns and shrubs, the colors so intense that she was dazzled.

"Can't I go out and have a look?" She may have asked.

But every time my mother would look at her in horror and tell her how dangerous the outside world was.

"Don't believe what they say, they all want to hurt you."

Mo Tongtong still couldn't understand the meaning of such words, so she could only raise her head and look back in confusion.

"They'll take you, cut your limbs open, and soak your guts in formalin."

Sometimes the wording changes—

"I want to escape too, but we are locked up here. Once we get out of the gate, someone will rush out and beat us. If we are caught back, we can only be locked up in a place without lights or books. .”

The young Mo Tongtong is still unable to distinguish lies from truth.

She was horrified by the world her mother had built, not to mention cutting her own arm or beating her own head to add persuasiveness.

At this time, the servants would gather around to persuade her, but this would only make the mother more trembling, falling into the delusion that she was being hurt and unable to extricate herself.

At that time, she probably forgot that there was a child in her arms, and Mo Tongtong's childhood was inevitably accompanied by pain and suffocation.

"Delusion of persecution is the most common type of delusion."

"Later, Dr. Du told me that sometimes, the occurrence of mental disorders is almost uncontrollable. That is to say, patients may enter a delusional state without warning and cannot extricate themselves."

"I used to get into some sort of panic that I'd become like this myself, especially when I knew there was a high genetic chance of the condition..."

She fell silent when she said this.

Because what she didn't say is that the existence of the library also makes her often think that she is actually delusional.

This is undoubtedly unscientific, although its existence has accompanied me for so many years, it has reached the point where it is so natural that I can ignore it.

She often has a kind of thinking that maybe she is really delusional, and the world shown in the library in her head is the world where she really exists, and the world in front of her is just a place to escape.

Maybe she has been schizophrenic for a long time, and now it is another person who controls her body.

That person completes all his imagination, just like Fanjunga.

She didn't know how to tell this matter, because what happened in the library was too absurd to say, and if it was announced, even she would start to doubt it.

At that time, Gu Zhanqiao might feel that she was really delusional.

She was so worried, and began to think again, if it was really delusional, could she drag Gu Zhanqiao down like this? Shouldn't she just let go?

Yes, I should let go quickly, otherwise Gu Zhanqiao will only be like his father...

Mo Tongtong saw the library, her consciousness kept drifting, and stopped in front of a row of bookshelves.

The number on it is the year - that is the diary she recorded in her heart.

She saw a certain page turned, and on it was the still immature font - I should be alone.For the rest of the way, you have to walk alone.

Gu Zhanqiao was listening to Mo Tongtong quietly.

What she said was so distressing that she didn't know how to comfort her.

When Mo Tongtong fell silent, she thought that the other party was just sorting out her emotions. It wasn't until the hand with clasped fingers began to tremble that she realized that something was wrong.

"Tongtong? Tongtong? What's wrong with you?"

Mo Tongtong didn't answer, Gu Zhanqiao hurriedly got up and turned on the light in the room, and looked down to see Mo Tongtong lying beside her, covered in cold sweat and pale as paper.

The sudden turn on of the light made her tremble violently, and then she covered her face with her hands and said in a trembling voice, "Turn off the light! Turn off the light, okay?"

Gu Zhanqiao subconsciously turned off the light, and then squeezed her empty fingers.

Her mind went blank, she felt something was wrong with Mo Tongtong, but she didn't know what to do.

Then, in the darkness, she heard a low whimper.

Mo Tongtong whispered to herself: "I'm going crazy."

The next second, Mo Tongtong straightened up from the bed.

She rolled over and got out of bed, groping to walk around the bed and walk to the door.

In the dim light, Gu Zhanqiao could only see a vague black shadow, but she had a bad idea in her heart, telling her that if Mo Tongtong were to leave today, their future would disappear.

She went from the head of the bed to the end of the bed, and then tightly hooked Mo Tongtong's neck who happened to walk there.

"Look at my pupil, I'm Gu Zhanqiao, you can't leave me aside."

Gu Zhanqiao felt that she should be stronger now, but the tears still fell uncontrollably.

She was so wronged that she couldn't speak, she just kept thinking that she had clearly agreed and would always be by my side.

She felt that her Mo Tongtong was stunned for a moment and then began to struggle, and the nerve called reason broke in her mind.

She held Mo Tongtong's cheek, and pressed her lips to her face.

She moved slowly in the darkness, and finally touched Mo Tongtong's mouth/lips, and opened her mouth to bite the other's lip/petal.

The slight stabbing pain made Mo Tongtong wake up a little bit, she opened her eyes wide in the darkness, her chaotic brain hadn't had time to process this information.

But the sound of the outside world finally entered the brain from her ears, and she heard gasping/breathing with crying, with an inexplicable desperate tenacity.

The other person's body was pressing close to him, and his chest rose and fell with his breath.

The soft plumpness and slender bones are felt by the fingers together, and the breath lingering in the nasal cavity gradually becomes thicker, like hallucinogens, making people lost in restlessness and dizziness.

The flame ignited by the kiss finally blazed, and Mo Tongtong uncontrollably pressed her soft body on the bed, and after separating her lips and teeth, she uttered the name that had filled the whole brain in the other's ear.

"Qiao Qiao, Gu Zhan Qiao."

The fiery breath spread from the neck to the chest/chest.

Every inch of skin began to feel numb and hot, as if it knew what was coming, and seemed to be reminded of something through this.

The clothes were slowly loosened, because in the dark, it was inevitable that they would not be as flexible as usual, but every touch would ignite a small cluster of flames, and this clumsiness became a kind of torture that scratched the heart and lungs.

A muffled hum filled with pain and joy echoed in the room, and the ambiguous water vapor turned into sweat beads that condensed on the skin, making the place where the palm passed by turn into a slippery brocade.

The unfamiliar throbbing made the muscles uncontrollable, Gu Zhanqiao hugged Mo Tongtong tightly, like hugging driftwood in the torrent.

Her body had already sunk into the water, and even if she opened her eyes, she could only see a blurry shadow, but Mo Tongtong's appearance had long been etched in her mind, so she knew what the person holding her and controlling her looked like.

She was shaking, crying, shaking from the sudden shock.

Her toes couldn't help but tense, and her fingers sank into the soft quilt.

She felt strange things flashed in her mind, and the only thing that was clear was Mo Tongtong's figure.

So she raised her hand and grabbed the other person's back, and ran her fingers across the tender and firm skin/flesh to calm herself down...or even crazier.

……

I just want to rest my head firmly on my lover's soft/soft breast/chest,

Always feel its soothing fall, rise;

And when I wake up, my heart is full of sweet agitation, constantly, constantly listening to her delicate breathing,

Just live—or die comatose.

Mo Tongtong thought of such a poem.

She really wanted to relax on the crisp/soft chest/breast, but she was worried that her head would be too heavy to crush Gu Zhanqiao, so she tried her best not to let Gu Zhanqiao bear all the weight—a bit A tired pose.

But she still hopes to stick to Gu Zhanqiao's chest, feel her soft fingers brushing her ears, and tidy her hair.

After a long silence, she heard Gu Zhanqiao softly ask: "Tongtong, are you feeling better?"

Mo Tongtong nodded in Gu Zhanqiao's arms, and whispered, "How are you?"

Gu Zhanqiao didn't speak, Mo Tongtong felt that in the darkness, Gu Zhanqiao searched for a while, and then hit her on the head with a pillow.

Mo Tongtong was a little dazed by the beating, before she had time to speak, she heard Gu Zhanqiao say: "Don't ask me such questions!"

Mo Tongtong: "..."

The two were covered in sweat, Mo Tongtong lay down for a while, and asked, "Do you want to take a bath?"

With that in mind, I was about to turn on the lights.

Then she was hit on the head again by the pillow.

Gu Zhanqiao said in a slightly hoarse voice: "Don't turn on the lights!"

She also felt sore/soft and hot all over, and she didn't want Mo Tongtong to see her like this.

She turned over and got into Mo Tongtong's arms, and said, "Then the reason why you didn't want to shoot "Dream of Flowers" before was because it was about yourself?"

When Mo Tongtong thought about this question again, it was probably because she was not as pessimistic as before, and felt that her thinking would not lead to a dead end.

"I don't think it's me, but there are indeed many settings related to myself, so I will care about it."

"It's like I thought, sooner or later, I'm going to be schizophrenic."

After she finished saying this, Gu Zhanqiao didn't respond for a long time. She thought she had frightened Gu Zhanqiao, and when she was about to speak, Gu Zhanqiao said, "Is it like Fan Qiongjia? It's so cool."

Mo Tongtong: "..."

"Are schizophrenic people really so amazing?"

"Uh, I can't say it's miraculous. According to the book I read, each patient has an average of thirteen alternate personalities, and the situation is very complicated..."

"How do you tell the difference?"

"This is the judgment of the psychiatrist, but because it often depends on the patient's own narrative, it is sometimes difficult to define..."

After inexplicably turning into a psychoanalysis class for a while, Gu Zhanqiao yawned.

"Sleep when you're sleepy." Mo Tongtong said.

"But I don't want to sleep." Gu Zhanqiao murmured in a low voice, "What if I fall asleep and you become the same as before? You seem to be leaving me behind without hesitation."

Mo Tongtong blamed herself endlessly: "I'm sorry, I'm just a little worried..."

"worry about what?"

"I'm worried that I'm going to inherit... that mental disorder."

Gu Zhanqiao was silent for a while, then sniffled and said, "I'm so pitiful."

"Eh?"

"Did you make such a decision unilaterally because you thought I was not smart?"

"..."

"I may not be worthy of your consultation with me..."

"Sorry……"

"But that's my reason, because I'm not smart enough."

"I'm sorry I will never do this again."

"Really? I think Ka is understandable."

"I was wrong……"

After receiving repeated promises, Gu Zhanqiao nodded in satisfaction.

She hugged Mo Tongtong's arms in her arms, and let out a sigh of satisfaction.

She felt that she and Mo Tongtong were getting closer again.

So her heart became more stable.