[Star Volunteer] Spare tire love

Canada Toronto.

Just after Christmas and New Year's Eve, the cold city is full of lively atmosphere. There are small snowflakes in the sky, and everyone seems to be happy.

Gabby's is a good local bar. According to the habits of Canadians, the door will not open until 11:[-] noon. The first customers are usually groups of retirees, with a glass of beer, a plate of sandwiches, a newspaper, and a bar. Playing crossword puzzles has killed a lot of leisure and slightly boring time.

At this time, the store also plays some country music, and occasionally some blues with slow rhythm and sad raucousness.The atmosphere is always casual and relaxed.Although it is the Christmas and New Year shopping season, there are many people outside, but at Gabby's at 1 pm, there are still only three or four old people sitting behind the log table drinking beer and reading newspapers with flower glasses.

Therefore, the young man sitting in front of the bar looked particularly eye-catching.

He is young, but not particularly young. He looks about 30 years old, with dark red hair, handsome and outstanding facial features, Asian appearance but with some deep temperament of European and American people. His gestures are restrained and deep, forbearing and Restraining the hormones of a charming man.

He had been here for quite a while, but he only ordered a glass of beer and sat quietly.It seems to be waiting for someone, and it seems to be meditating alone again.Just sitting like this is like a painting.

It’s just that it’s too early now, real bar animals won’t appear, and the beauties are either at work or still sleeping—the bartender sighed while wiping the table, it’s their loss, if this man comes four or five hours late, he will definitely Being accosted until soft.Even now, the two old ladies in the store are still whispering around this mysterious man, and their wrinkled faces are smiling with a more youthful look.

After sitting like this for about half an hour, the door of the bar opened and another man of Asian descent came in.After he came in, he looked around and saw the red-haired man in front of the bar without much effort.So he smiled and waved slightly as a greeting.

"Sorry, I'm late, I've been waiting for a long time." He walked over, took off his scarf and gloves, and cut his previously long hair very short, looking full of energy.

"It's okay, I'm here early." The red-haired man shook his head, watching him order beer as well.The two men sat still, speechless for a while, looked at each other, and then both smiled.

"Long time no see, Ji Xiang." The latter raised his glass first and said with a smile.

"Well, Hao Xun, long time no see." Ji Xiang touched him, and both of them took a big sip.

"Ah...it's been a long time, almost three years." Jin Haoxun took a long breath, frowning as if counting the days, "We haven't met since Madrid."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to your wedding." Ji Xiang nodded, with a slight apology in his tone, although light, but very serious.

"Ah, it's okay, I know the situation is special." Jin Haoxun waved his hand and smiled without any malice.

Ji Xiang bent his mouth, lit a cigarette, lowered his head slightly and did not speak again.

Jin Haoxun looked at him and only sighed lightly.

Half a year ago, he called Ji Xiang, hoping that he could come to Canada to attend his wedding. Two years ago, he had settled down in Toronto and was engaged in the clothing trade. He had a moderate career and lived a stable and prosperous life. It's his assistant in the company.

Ji Xiang agreed, but failed to show up that day.

During the apologetic phone call, he said out of breath that he had received a clue that Yunqian was in Hawaii, and he had to rush there immediately because this clue might be the most likely one in more than four years, and he took off on the nearest flight at the airport. So sorry for not being able to attend the wedding ceremony...

After hanging up the phone, Jin Haoxun, who was wearing a formal dress, raised his head to look at the blue sky, silently praying in his heart that this time he could really find her, meet her, and end the nearly five years of hard searching.

Yes,

For Ji Xiang, Du Yunqian has been missing for five full years.

Ever since she personally delivered him to him on the day of the wedding, this girl had disappeared, completely out of everyone's sight, without any news from her.

In fact, she didn't see it - Maserati only takes a few seconds from 0 to 120 - the speed made her lose the chance to see Ji Xiang's tears, she didn't know that he chased her car for a long distance, and she didn't hear it The sound of kneeling on the road and sobbing.

She just disappeared without a trace.

No one knows where she's gone,

Shen Weizhen, Yao Ziqi, Yang Anshu, and all her friends were completely ignorant.

The Du family went to the empty building all of a sudden, and they couldn't even ask a question.

In the following year, Ji Xiang searched for her like crazy, wishing to turn the world upside down. What was even more frightening was that during the search, he learned of the car accident. It is said that a Maserati rushed out of the roadbed and was hit. Not at the moment, but it's just a rumor. Whether there is such a thing, and if so, who is sitting in it is all unclear.No matter how I check, I can't find it.

In the end, when I heard that it was Keles who came forward, I tried my best to bring back only one sentence from Du Sichen:

If you really want Yunqian, don't look for her anymore, she doesn't want to see you.

And the most likely clue that time was still the same as all the clues in the past five years, just an empty joy.

"Take it."

A small box that was suddenly pushed down in front of him stunned Jin Haoxun, who was caught up in memories, and he couldn't help but look at Ji Xiang in doubt—Christmas cards have already been sent to each other, and the New Year's gifts haven't arrived yet.

"For the children." Ji Xiang extinguished the half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray, and said lightly.

"It's too early. I'm just four months pregnant, so I still can't see it." Jin Haoxun couldn't help laughing, and when he opened it, he saw that it was a gold longevity lock, so his smile widened.Ji Xiang grew up in Europe, and his behavior has always been very westernized, so he was very happy to give such a traditional gift.

"Come sooner rather than later." He watched him take out the chain with a happy expression, and his expression was much warmer.

"Okay, then I accept it, and thank you for the child and Lily." Jin Haoxun put away the box solemnly, smiling sincerely, Ji Xiang nodded, and then, the topic stopped here for some reason, and the two of them had a moment They all became ignorant, and a slightly awkward atmosphere suddenly spread.

"Oh, by the way, last month Shen Weizhen's new movie came to Toronto to shoot the location, we had a meal together, and when we talked about you, he asked me to say hello to you." After a while, Jin Haoxun suddenly remembered something and said, With a funny expression, "Yao Ziqi also sent a message to tell you to remember to take time to go back to collect the dividends, otherwise the interest will not be paid."

"Ah." Ji Xiang also smiled, probably also thinking of the crazy and cute look of the music talent who is now the top spot in the country when he yelled this sentence.

"I haven't been back to China for a long time." Jin Haoxun smiled softly, "Shen Weizhen said that everyone misses you very much."

When Du Yunqian disappeared suddenly, even Cheng Zhongxuan left quickly.In the age of innocence, there was suddenly no leader, and when people were panicking, it turned out to be an accounting firm that came to liquidate the property and was about to sell the company.Shen Weizhen anxiously followed the ants on the hot pot, and Yao Ziqi screamed angrily, but they were all helpless.

In the end, the two of them spent almost all of their net worth, plus Ji Xiang's money, in order to keep the era of innocence.

Over the past few years, Shen Weizhen has made great achievements in his film career, and Yao Ziqi's net worth has also been rising all the way.Many people want to dig corners, but no matter how high the price is, they just don't agree.

Jin Haoxun understood that they were waiting for someone to come back.

Persistent, like a group of children.

"I told Ziqi to donate the money to me on a regular basis." Ji Xiang said, lighting another cigarette.

"They probably just want to find a chance to meet you." Jin Haoxun smiled. "See when it's convenient, and go back to see old friends."

I didn't ask Ji Xiang if he had contacted people from the Age of Innocence again, he just knew that his life has only one focus in the past few years - looking for Yunqian.I only have a few phone calls a year with myself, but the content is only which country he is in and which country he is going to go to next. Occasionally, there will be one or two postcards with postmarks from Africa.Haoxun also sends text messages and e-mails, most of which are just greetings and instructions to pay attention to safety.

"Well. Let's find time." Ji Xiang nodded, and stopped talking in the rising smoke.At this time, a song in the background music was over, and the melody sounded a little slow, a little melancholy, it was an old song, and Mariah Kelly's completely hoarse voice lingered in the room, singing "Youlookinmyeyes, AndIgetemotionalinsid ..."

Jin Haoxun picked up the cup and took a sip of the bitter liquid. In fact, he never understood how this bitter thing tastes good, but whenever the time comes, he always wants to drink it.

Turning his head to the side, in front of him is the familiar side face, straight nose bridge, long eyelashes, firm chin, and distant and melancholy eyes, thoughtful.

Time seems to have traveled to Madrid, Spain three and a half years ago.

The situation at that time seemed to be almost the same as it is now.

He sat side by side at the bar with the two of him.There are two glasses of beer in front of me,

He smokes, he drinks,

The same side face.

However, it is completely different.

At that time, Du Yunqian had been missing for more than a year, and Ji Xiang's initial madness and anxiety had gradually subsided, but the search that he did not give up was stalled because of obstacles everywhere, until he received a postcard from her.

After walking for one year, five months and 20 days, I received a postcard from Du Yunqian with the postmark address in Hawaii.

I'm fine, don't worry, I wish you happiness.

It was in that year that Ji Xiang stopped in his footsteps.

Stopped in Madrid.

Because I met him, Jin Haoxun.

A chance encounter, a fateful reunion,

No one can tell whether time has passed or gone backwards.

In that small hotel, Jin Haoxun, who was checking in, looked up and saw the man coming down the stairs——

He was thin and pale, and his eyes could not conceal the tiredness and tiredness.

A thousand years at a glance.

That autumn in Madrid, two men were left in the alleys.

no one said anything

No one broke anything,

Walking side by side like this,

That's it, together.

Go to drink coffee together in the morning, eat croissants, and chat on the grass for a whole morning, and the pigeons in the square seem to know them.The afternoon sun is always a bit dazzling, so it is the best enjoyment to curl up in the room and take a nap.

In the evening, I would go drinking, watch a football game in an open-air bar, or take a walk until late at night, when the moon was covered by clouds.

They talked about everything, but it seemed like they didn't say anything——after a long time, every time Jin Haoxun recalled this dream-like day, what they talked about and talked about, they couldn't remember a word.

So, the day we broke up was still a sunny day.

When Jin Haoxun left, he didn't leave any message or anything else to Ji Xiang, he knew he understood, as if he understood him too.

Sitting on the plane and looking at the ground farther and farther out of the small window, I unexpectedly found that it was not as painful as I thought it would be, and what was there was just a faint and lingering regret, and a sense of loss.

Some people always say that we are attracted to each other because we are strange, and we finally break up because we understand each other.

Sometimes Jin Haoxun thinks, maybe it would be better without the meeting in Madrid, maybe it would be better if we never really tried to be together in our whole life,

In this way, at least one of the best hopes will remain.

Maybe when he gets old, he will still remember himself, and he will still think in his heart, if we were together at that time...

We were together at that time, so I realized that I had missed the most correct time, I realized that we are not the same as when I was the deepest love back then, I realized that love is too fragile to be 100% cared for and cannot be tested, I realized that it is turbulent The longing and passionate love will eventually fade away like the tide, only the pale sandy beach will be left. Only then will I know that we are all weak in front of life, we have wasted the best time for each other, and we are all defeated by accident. gave time.

Only then did I realize that today, among us, there is actually one more person.

Only then did I know that in the years I missed because of weakness, pride, stubbornness and stubbornness, there was already a person who was so serious, so sincere, so dedicated to accompany him, and her traces penetrated into every detail of his life,

Even if time and space have changed, even if the people around him have changed, even if she herself has disappeared between the Atlantic Ocean and the Pacific Ocean like a butterfly flapping her wings,

These details are engraved on the bone,

When in Madrid, Ji Xiang would go to a diamond processing factory to visit, Ji Xiang would stop in front of every window decorated with butterflies for a long time, and Ji Xiang would sit on someone’s sofa because of a spotlight in a furniture store In a daze in the afternoon, Ji Xiang will stare at a cup of black coffee all day long.

Jin Haoxun couldn't say whether he hated Du Yunqian when he woke up from a nightmare one gloomy morning.I hate her for leaving so resolutely, and hate her for leaving a mark that can never be erased forever. Let Ji Xiang taste what it means to "remember to cherish only when you lose it."

But then he felt, no, he didn't hate it, because he knew that he and he couldn't be together in the end, and she wouldn't be the decisive reason.It is impossible for any outsider to be the internal cause that determines the nature of things.The internal cause can only be the two of them themselves.

If he and he really had the ability to make each other happy, then there would be no room for her to exist in the first place.

And Jin Haoxun finally deeply understood the heart of this girl,

I finally understand that there is still a feeling in the heart of the person you love.

Once, for Ji Xiang,

What you can't get is the best,

Lost will cherish,

These two sentences were aimed at him, Jin Haoxun.

But now, it was replaced by Du Yunqian.

If Jin Haoxun insisted on what he said, he would admit that he envied Du Yunqian, because it was the same regret and pain, but she had the courage to fight the fire. Similarly, she doesn't need to regret, she doesn't need to regret, the same is the shattering of dreams, she took the initiative and bravely to make him far behind.

I used to really think that it was because Ji Xiang couldn't let go of his guilt towards her.

Until three years later, on the day he was informed that he was going to get married, they had a two-hour phone call across the ocean.

Ji Xiang's voice is still so deep,

Finally, he asked Jin Haoxun,

--Do you love her.

He was silent.

Love it, love it.

Lily Chen, a Chinese-Canadian mixed race, speaks Mandarin very well. The first time we met, she came to interview an assistant. At that time, there were only six people in his clothing trading company. She was not beautiful, and her ability could not be said to be outstanding, but she was very careful. , very down-to-earth, very steady, no need to worry about any matter entrusted to her, Jin Haoxun will handle it properly.Her hand was so warm, so solid, so solid.

— Well, I think I love her.

Because if he didn't love, he wouldn't marry her.He is no longer the Jin Haoxun who is afraid of loneliness and insists on looking for warmth and companionship.It's not that he has to get married, he thinks it's good to be alone for the rest of his life.

There is no promise of life anymore, no outsider's vision, no one is forcing him, and no one is forcing him, including himself.

He proposed to her on a warm and relaxed day, watching her carefully check the accounts at the desk next to him, the sun was shining on her, and her cheeks had a touch of blissful shyness.

At that time, I suddenly felt that something was loose in my heart.

It turns out that happiness is as simple as that.

As long as you don't make trouble for yourself, it is simply equivalent to 1+1, and you can get it at your fingertips.

——You have been looking for Yunqian for so many years, is it because of guilt?

This was the last sentence that he couldn't let go of. When he left Madrid, he still firmly told himself that this was the case.Now, he doesn't need this crutch.He just wanted an answer.

Ji Xiang was also silent for a few seconds.

—I don't think so.

After a sigh, he confirmed it again.

——No, not guilt.Because... guilt doesn't last so long.

So, what can last so long...

Three years later, Jin Haoxun has found his own direction,

Three years later, how will Ji Xiang...

"Hao Xun."

His deep voice pulled back his thoughts far away in the sky, turned his head, and found that pair of deep eyes staring at him, with an indescribable light inside.

"Do you think I will never see Yunqian again in my lifetime?"

This sentence made Jin Haoxun's heart sour to the extreme.

For a moment he wanted to blurt out,

Take a good rest, you are too tired.

Stop being so persistent, let yourself find a way out...

"No, you will meet again one day."

But in the end, what was said was this.He patted his shoulder and held it firmly.

"Can I trust you?" Ji Xiang smiled and closed his eyes.

"Believe me or not. It's not important. What's important is that you can't give up." Hao Xun somewhat laughed at himself, then let go of his hand and sighed, "I just hope that you don't find it too painful. Because this is a place where you don't know the end. The journey, the accumulated pain will sooner or later bring you down—"

"I'd rather suffer."

The very rare decisiveness made him turn his head to look at him, and saw a sad but somewhat smug look in his eyes,

"Because of the pain, it is the proof that she is still in my heart."

Ji Xiang put down a banknote and stood up under the cup, stretched out his hand towards him,

"Thank you, Hao Xun, I have to go, the next flight is two hours away."

Jin Haoxun frowned but immediately let go, showing a sincere smile, and held his hand.

"Take care and stay in touch."

"Ah."

His back is getting further and further away.

"Ji Xiang!"

With a call, he stopped and turned slightly sideways.

"Do you love her?"

Silence, silence for about three seconds.

Then he smiled, actually like some kind of embarrassment, and nodded.

"Ah."

On the streets of Canada in winter, the cold wind blows down the collar and pours into the clothes. Ji Xiang stands on the side of the road waiting for a taxi, his eyes are scattered and unfocused.

Then, the phone rang.

The unfamiliar number made him frowned slightly.

Before he could speak, the other party had already spoken.

"Ji Xiang? I'm Du Sichen."