[Attack on Titan] Being a soldier is annoying

I washed all the clothes piled up at home, and cleaned the house again. I got rid of the weeds inside and out, including the weeds in the yard outside.I don't know what I want to do, but I can't be idle. If I finish cleaning the house and washing the clothes, I will go to the mountains to train horses. I don't want to be quiet at all, because people will think wildly when they are bored.

Looking at the dripping clothes drying on the rope, I put my hips on my hips and decided to go to the stables to bring the breeze out for a walk.I packed up the pots and sickles and went back to the house, put on my hat and cape and went out.

When I came to the stable, the first thing I saw was Thunder. When it saw me, it screamed happily, and walked over to follow its shiny hair. I was still looking for the breeze.After watching for a long time, I saw that lazy guy rubbing against the pillars in the corner. Only now did I realize that Breeze is not a good-tempered guy, but lazy.

Facing the two horses, I hesitated for a while or went to hold Breeze.Thunder neighed in dissatisfaction, then flicked its tail and retreated to the corner.

Pulling Breeze out of the stable, the guy shook his ears uninterestedly, flicked his tail, and drooped it again.It stared at me with drooping eyelids, as if it was very helpless.Oh, I'll go, this guy is still a bit interesting. Although he didn't have a tacit understanding with me like Thunder when he came out, he didn't embarrass me, at least he didn't run away by himself.

Much better, um, I believe!

I communicated silently with my eyes for a while, until it turned its head silently, I turned over and sat on it in satisfaction.I was trotting slowly like a classic car all the way, and when I passed by the door of my house, a black shadow rushed over and stopped in front, I was startled, and I immediately grabbed the rein.Fortunately, the breeze didn't run fast, otherwise I really wouldn't be able to stop.

"Hello... Merry?"

When I saw clearly who the person blocking me was, I couldn't help being surprised again.Not seen for a few days, she looked a little pale, with faint dark shadows under her eyes.I was about to get off the horse when she walked up to me and handed me the envelope in her hand, her eyes were straightforward and calm.

"His body was cremated and his ashes were buried under a tree in the courtyard of his home."

"I'll take a look."

"This is not a suicide note, it's part of the diary. I concealed it and took it out to you. I hope the captain can read it."

The envelope was held in the palm of the girl's white hand like a treasure.But my sixth sense is reminding me not to pick it up, not to touch it.

Well, I still owe it to me.I saw the relief and guilt in Meili's eyes, she bowed deeply to me, and then ran away.

Hey, you haven't told me what to do after reading it, do you want to destroy the corpse?

Watching the girl's slender back going away in distress, the breeze below me made a low sound, as if protesting why I was still stupid.The envelope in my hand feels like a hot potato, there must be something, since it's all delivered to my door, let's take a look.I'm sorry for my gossip if I don't watch it, it can be regarded as a way to remember Ares.

Originally, I wanted to go to the back mountain of the Corps to develop a relationship with Breeze, but now it seems that I can't.Holding the envelope in my hand, I sent Breeze back to the stable. Thunder was still depressed. I stroked its head as a comfort, and then walked to the nearest place I often go to - the river embankment.

It's good to rest here when the weather is fine. I think this is a tryst resort for couples in the Corps at night.But there was no one in broad daylight, so I put the envelope on my lap first, took a few deep breaths, and then picked up the envelope and opened it. It was not letter paper, but paper like a notebook. There were two sheets in total, both of which were torn.No wonder Meri said that, she really tore up Ares' diary.

Without thinking that much, I started to look seriously.

The boy's handwriting is just like others', delicate and clean, with few typos.

-

The first time I saw her was accompanied by **, and it was the person he took me to meet.I was very excited when I learned that ** had contact with her

She was actually pretty in person, tall and slender, with an oval face and bright, piercing eyes.Some are the same and some are different from the imagined person, but my heart seems to be beating faster.I stuttered and said the wrong words as soon as I opened my mouth. I felt that I was useless. If there was no ** by my side, I probably wouldn't even know how to speak.

But despite the embarrassment, I was very happy.

With the help of **, I got to know her a little bit, at least she got to know me.In fact, I have passed by her many times, but I never dared to look up at her, looking at her from a distance at an appropriate distance, like a hopeless fool.

Her personality doesn't look good. In fact, after a long time of contact, you will find that she is very casual and has no airs. She occasionally says some incomprehensible words to tease everyone, and gets along with us as well as her peers. I always Forget that she is about nine years older than me.

Later, I noticed that there was another person beside her, and my mother said that it was a very powerful senior who just came in.I didn't go to the cheating that time, I was worried about ** and her, but everything seemed to be going well, and that senior caused a lot of rumors in the soldier circle.The first time I went out of the wall, I had very good results.

Envious and deeply jealous at the same time, is it true that only those with such strength are qualified to stand by her side?

In winter, she was always with her seniors, and she couldn't tell her mother and Meili about her depression.They only thought that I just admired her just like them, but it was not like that, I think I fell in love with her.

Weird, right?

No, I don't think it's strange at all, why can't you like such an excellent person?

Later, I was able to walk out of the city wall with her, and my heart was very conflicted. I hoped to perform well in front of her, but I was afraid of confronting the giant head-on.

At the moment I was rescued by her, I couldn't tell what I felt. I was grateful for surviving, but at the same time I was deeply critical of myself. Why did I bother her?Why did she get hurt?I didn't even have the face to ask about her injuries.

After I went back, I pretended not to know about her injury and didn't say anything, but I knew that I couldn't just watch from a distance like before.I want to fight alongside her like a senior and hold my back for her instead of hiding behind her like a coward.

When she came out of the wall again, she passed out. At that moment, I thought my heart stopped beating.If she died in front of me... I can't even imagine the scene.

Fortunately, fortunately, the senior acted in time and saved her from the giant's grasp.

And after that, I never saw her again. After returning to the city, she was taken away by the group leader. The above said that she was in poor health. Although I don’t believe it, it is also true that she fainted in front of me without warning.Obviously so healthy, why does this symptom appear?

She didn't appear for a whole year in 847, as if she had disappeared, and the senior took her place and became the real commander of the investigation team.

In fact, I went to my senior alone and asked him to refuse the post of commander in a whimsical way.I stubbornly believed that it belonged to her.The result, of course, was that I was punched. The punch was not very hard in the face, but it was enough to wake me up.The senior didn't say much, he only said that he would take over this position well.

And I figured it out from that moment on, the one who should change is me, I can't make others change, so I can only change myself.

The reason why I suddenly want to record these thoughts again is probably because I was beaten soberly, my cheek is still very painful now.But I will not give up, I will definitely become stronger, and then stand by her side to protect her from wind and rain.

I hope to see her again.

If possible, I would like to say I like it.

Ares.

847.10.30.

-

Although the two pages didn't mention who she was, anyone with a bit of intelligence would be able to tell.

At most, I thought that Ares was just feeling nervous and shy because he admired me too much. I didn't expect that this emotion came from liking.

The liking of men for women, not the admiration of younger generations for their elders.

After watching it, I was in a panic. I am a person with few tears. I haven't cried much since I can remember.Because I think crying is useless, except to get catharsis.Oh, I prefer sandbags or housecleaning to blow off steam, everyone's situation is different isn't it?

Ares is so boring, he didn't confess when I woke up, he didn't want me to die in front of him, but he died in my arms.Maybe he walked away peacefully, but this is undoubtedly a serious torture to me.

What's wrong with a dead brat learning to have a secret love, don't know if it hurts my body and heart, if I have a child, I will definitely not let him have a secret love, I will definitely go straight to it.

I complained desperately in my heart, but this feeling still followed me like a shadow and didn't ease in the slightest. I folded the letter and put it back in the envelope, and then I heard the sound of footsteps behind me.

Levi stood there silently like a ghost, keeping a distance from me.

I suppressed my throat and asked, "What's the matter?"

"Hate me?"

"...Please go to another place if you have a neurotic attack, or pick up soap for Erwin, I want to be quiet."

"If I don't stop you, if I lead the team over, maybe I can save them."

"Maybe the whole army will be wiped out halfway, you are right, why should I hate you. Paranoia."

"If you don't hate me, you're guilty."

He changed the subject and looked at me fixedly, like a net encircling me, unable to break free.Annoyed by being exposed, I opened my mouth and said: "My guilt has nothing to do with you. If I can transform, I can kill all directions, but who can say this kind of thing accurately. If you hate yourself, go face the wall Think about it, I don't have time to comfort you."

"**** came to me, I thought you would lick your wounds here like a wounded dog, so come and see. You should get used to this kind of thing, and you won't come back to life if you keep thinking about it."

"You... Hey, aren't you, are you comforting me?"

"I'm afraid that if you get stuck in your head and can't figure it out, you will kill yourself."

"Don't worry about this, I won't die if you die."

He seemed to be sure that my mood was quite stable and that I hadn't committed suicide or anything, but there was a faint disgust in his eyes.I remembered the letter just now, and asked, "Have you ever beaten Ares?"

"Educate the stupid and innocent children, why, take revenge."

"No, he is still young and doesn't know many things."

"It's because he doesn't know, so I'm merciful, otherwise he should quit the team."

Do you still have a big mouth?But thanks to him, Ares brought me a lot less pain.I suddenly realized that after waking up from a year of lethargy, this guy was always by my side when I was unhappy.

"Levi, accompany me to Ares's house tomorrow to see him."

Levi raised his eyebrows at my sudden invitation and agreed.

The author has something to say: explain it here.

Meili and ** discovered Ares's diary when sorting out Ares's relics. Meili read the diary and found these.She tore off the part of the suspected confession and handed it to Oluya, just to let her know Ares's mood.

Merry may have gone too far, but she's all about her best friend.

And ** knew that her intention was good, so she didn't blame her, but ran to find Levi after knowing about it.Let him comfort people.After all, this kind of thing is still very depressing...

The next update will continue at this time~ Meh~ I guess there will be Alan and the others in the next chapter...