The man rescued from Kabukicho

Ijuin said calmly: "Of course it's different for you."

He was held by Cilang, and pressed against Cilang's cheek, his fingers were slightly closed, as if he was pinching Cilang lightly, and he continued in a firm tone: "At that time, you were different to me, didn't you?" ?"

This is true.

When he was in junior high school, Cilang existed like a prince on campus. Because of his popularity, he often had different opinions from everyone in his heart, so he became more aware of the fickleness of people's hearts and the horror of being isolated.

If it were anyone else, Ci Lang would not be so defenseless, telling the other party all the troubles in his heart.

When Cilang didn't know Yijuin, such a thing happened in his class. A girl told a secret to her best friend, but the other party told it in public like a joke. The lively and cheerful girl in Cilang's memory , From then on, she became gloomy, and because her personality became gloomy, she became less and less gregarious, and then, the matter of isolating her happened naturally.

Most classmates dare not stand up for her and talk to her. Some people even take the initiative to join the ranks of excluding her in order not to be excluded. However, if a campus idol like Cilang shows kindness to her, it will only increase the degree of her being excluded. In the end, this girl became a transparent person in the class. Everyone deliberately didn't talk to her as if they couldn't see her. After half a semester, the girl dropped out of school and transferred to another school.

The scene that surprised Cilang the most was that on the day the girl dropped out of school, the ex-friend who first revealed her secret to the public deliberately wrote her secret on the desktop with a signature pen and took it back to the classroom The school dropout girl with personal belongings stood blankly in front of the desk. Seeing such a scene, everyone laughed out loud under the leadership of the former friend.

Amidst the laughter, Cilang felt a deep chill, but he dared not show it.

This matter is a shadow in Cilang's heart. He doesn't understand why everyone doesn't think it's wrong to do this, and he also can't understand why his classmates who are so friendly to him would do this. At the same time, he can't forgive him for not knowing how to help her own.

Therefore, Ijuin is of course different, and it has been like this since we met.

But this is not the point of Cilang's question. Yijuin must have understood it. Then, Yijuin must have his reasons for bringing this up, right?

Seeing Jiro nod, Yijuin continued, "You were very popular among your classmates at that time, and you also noticed that if you showed 'different' from everyone, even if it was a trivial difference, or even just a unique personality, Once being maliciously targeted by others, it will become a reason for being bullied. Therefore, everyone desperately integrates into the group, hides their true thoughts, keeps in line with 'everyone', and does not want to be labeled as 'different', and even for this reason, Take the lead in bullying classmates who have been marginalized. You are troubled by this, because you think it is wrong. At that time, I will tell you that you are right, although other people’s actions can only be said to be human.”

"I remember, so I always felt that I was so lucky to have you affirming my wild thoughts at that time," Cilang pressed Yijiin's hand even tighter, and stared at it with his eyes downcast and clear black pupils. Ijuin, "But I don't understand, why are you talking about this?"

Yijuin calmly explained: "Because there is something in common. You think that I am different from Gongxian because she acted irrationally, and you can't agree with her behavior of taking advantage of the old housekeeper's bereavement when she calculated her father. However, this half It's because she has more feelings than me, so she still feels pain about her father's failure to accept her, but I don't feel much."

Ijuin, who said these words, was as calm as talking about someone else's business.

However, hearing these words in Cilang's ears, thinking that the young Yijuin was rejected by his family made Cilang feel heartbroken.

Yijuin himself said "I don't feel much", so after all, it doesn't feel like it at all, right?

A child, even if he lacks affection, his close relatives cannot accept him. In this case, his heart will definitely be hurt.

For a person who doesn’t know pain, isn’t the injury considered an injury?

"The other half is because I have the reference group Ijuin Shinichiro. The young Ijuin Shinichiro noticed my abnormality and couldn't hide his fear of me. He made me realize my 'different' early on, so I She started to hide herself very early... Maybe you have noticed that she and I both have good observation skills."

Observation?

This is indeed the case, in addition to Ijuin's careful performance, Cirou also remembered the mention of Takao-kun in Yuzuru's phone call.As a colleague and friend who gets along almost every day, I have never noticed the scars on Takao-kun's face covered with concealer, but Yuzuru only saw Takao-kun and found out.

There was also the conversation in the ward that day, what Yuzuru revealed in his words, his understanding of Shinichiro Ijuin's actions and habits.

Not only is it "not bad", but it is so keen that it can see clearly.

Ci Lang was silent for a moment, and retorted: "... But this can only show that you are all calm and smart, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you are different from others."

It's not that he doesn't want to accept Yijuin, he just doesn't like Yijuin talking about himself like a monster.

Ijuin seemed to have expected such an attitude, and turned to talk about animal anecdotes: "Cats are the only creature other than humans that will hunt and kill small animals even if they are full. If you analyze them as humans, This kind of behavior of cats, to some extent, has a tendency of psychopath [psychopathy]. Because their overkill is not for survival, but out of instinct, just for fun, and to hone their hunting skills in this killing game.”

Hearing the word that had been looked up many times, Cirou trembled slightly, as if frightened, the hand that was holding Yijuin's hand subconsciously grasped Yijuin's shirt, as if afraid of Yijuin's sudden disappearance.

This kind of reaction made Yijiyuan place the withdrawn hand on Cilang's knee, pat it twice as comforting, softened his tone slightly, and guessed firmly: "You have looked up this word."

Cilang couldn't deny it, and said with a frown: "I checked, but those descriptions say that this type of person is very aggressive, unable to understand emotions, lacks empathy, behaves unplanned, overly narcissistic, and unable to adapt to society. Wait, you don't fit. Although you are very rational and a little less emotional than others, you are more planned than most people, you are a successful person, and you like me, don't you? Those representatives Sex characters, they're bad serial killers, you don't do that kind of thing. And the sensationalism of claiming to be one online, portraying yourself as a hipster character. You're nothing like them."

"Any illness has its severity." Yijuin did not follow Cirou's words to cover up, but pointed out bluntly, "You have mentioned so many characteristics that you think I don't fully meet, then you must have seen that you didn't say anything. The characteristic that I mentioned: This type of person is very good at 'imitating' and using emotions. You don't mention it because subconsciously, you think I fit, right?"

Cilang tried his best to defend him, and said bluntly: "Many people take advantage of others. This is what many people in society do, especially politicians and businessmen. Even if you are not nobler than them, you are not inferior to them."

The cute words made Yijiin couldn't help laughing, but it drew Jiro's stare, as if to say: I'm working so hard, but you don't worry.

"I really don't think I'm inferior to them," Ijuin said to comfort Jirou, and then changed the topic, "But, for a long time, or before I met you, I really didn't have any feelings."

Cilang stared blankly at Yijiyuan.

There was a strange peace in his heart, as if the boots had finally dropped, as if seeing the result that he had guessed long ago.

He even had a hint of selfish but uncontrollable chuckle, which was the expression "before I met you".

Generally speaking, when a lover admits that he is a cold-blooded patient, normal people would not react in this way.

How could this be?

Perhaps it was because he was also very ill.

Cilang fell silently, lying on Yijiyuan's chest, like a big dog begging for comfort from its master.

Ijiin combed his hair slowly with his hands, and calmly began to confess: "Inherited from my great-grandmother, from my grandfather, to my father, and I have bowstrings. Our luck lies in the fact that we have outstanding IQs and came from extremely wealthy families. family. We have enough IQ and perception to understand other people's feelings, and we have a first-class education. Because of our superior status, we don't even need to imitate too much. A cold and rational but excellent chaebol heir is completely in line with people's expectations of a wealthy family. Imagination. But being able to understand, imitate, and exploit doesn't mean we can create emotions out of thin air.

"Ijuin Shinichiro is afraid of me because when we were kidnapped when we were young, I didn't react when I saw the bodyguard who died in front of us. Because he was afraid of me, I realized that I was different from others. I wanted to know why, So I started looking for answers, and like you, the sources I could find were either crime studies, fantastical literature, or nonsensical nonsense...but it made me realize that, apart from the uncontrollable The inferior products of my kind, the very few of my kind in the crowd, have chosen to hide in the public and not expose themselves.

"This is not difficult, because selfishness, indifference and other superficial shortcomings are the shortcomings that ordinary people will have. Especially for people from the background of the Ijuin family, they can think without emotion, observe keenly to find out the weaknesses of others, and instinct These traits can even be regarded as natural advantages. In the political and business circles, people who are more selfish, cruel and liar than us can be seen everywhere.

"However, flaws are always flaws, and it's impossible for anyone to fake it all the time in front of long-term family members. We enjoy achieving our goals, we can understand jokes, and laugh at the right time, but we can't instinctively Feeling happy for others from the heart is the same for other emotions such as anger, sadness, pain, etc. Once we are tired or lethargic, when the family members we should care about in theory laugh or cry in front of us, we fail to respond in time. In response, they will find that we don’t have any resonance for their happiness and pain, we don’t actually care about them that much.”

Speaking of this, Ijuin seemed to know what Cirou was thinking, and said calmly: "Then, after realizing this cold-blooded and ruthless nature, my grandmother fell into despair, and she couldn't believe that her husband loved her. "

Cilang tightened his grip on Yijiin's shirt, and asked in a muffled voice, "Why?"

Yijiyuan did not answer directly, but made another confession: "If I told you, when I learned that you were designed to owe a huge loan and become the defendant, I could actually bribe the court and destroy key evidence. You don't need to go to jail, and you won't leave a criminal record. It's just that the favor and handle you owe may become the key to bringing me down in the future, so I didn't do it. The above are not hypotheses, but facts. You Do you blame me?"

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