Emergency Department

It's not the first time someone has been pushed out of their world, and Du Xiaxi gradually sees it, as long as he does his job well and has no regrets, that's enough.

Of course, in the eyes of others, although there is nothing wrong with Du Xiaxi's upright character, in such a big environment, it seems a bit unreasonable, rigid and inflexible.

Under her seemingly perfect performance, as long as you get to know her a little bit, you can know how stubborn and rigid she is, unlovable, and even out of tune with this world.

Therefore, she has always been lonely, so stubbornly insisting on her own principles, alone, silently, all the time.

Du Xiaxi came back from the rounds of the ward, and explained the medical order to the resident doctor. She has not been idle since she arrived here in the morning. She just had time to take a sip of hot water, and was going to rush to coordinate with the director about a patient's operation. .

"Xiao Du, I just wanted to talk to you about this." The director smiled and motioned Du Xiaxi to sit across from the desk, his expression became a little serious, "The patient has a serious heart disease, and the operation is too risky Ninety-nine out of ten will die on the operating table, and the Provincial Hospital and the Second Hospital are afraid to accept it, so why are you so courageous?"

"But in his current situation, if he doesn't have surgery, he will definitely die. After surgery, there is a glimmer of hope." Because of this matter, Du Xiaxi has discussed with the director twice, but the patient's condition does not allow any further delay up.

"Other hospitals will not accept it because the patient's condition is a contraindication to surgery. It is understandable to reject it. The chance of success is too small and the risk is too great. I still hope you can think carefully, especially It’s the patient’s family, which may make them have too high expectations, and if the result is not good, I’m afraid... hey, I’m also thinking about you.”

The director looked at the young doctor opposite with some concern. He was always at ease in terms of medical skills, but he was too young, too easy to think about, and so stubborn, otherwise he would have a bright future.

Du Xiaxi smiled, and thanked the director for his kind reminder, "Thank you, director, I will communicate with the family members." The director had no choice but to shake his head with a helpless smile, "It's good for young people to be motivated, but they must be more cautious. In our work, there is no room for mistakes. Hey, if anyone can change your mind, that is really admirable. Well, you go to prepare with all your strength. I will coordinate with the courtyard for other things. Don't worry, don't worry. pressure."

Du Xiaxi was grateful for the director's support and understanding, and finally laughed, but before leaving, the director stopped her again, "I heard that you and Dr. Wang are not on good terms, and you should pay attention to the harmony in the department. I recommended you, don't let me down. It's good to study hard, but you also need to learn more about how to behave in the world, you, you always make me worry, you are so straightforward."

"I..." Sometimes when Du Xiaxi gets serious, he really ignores other people's feelings, "I will try my best to change..." Du Xiaxi's so-called change is just to try his best in terms of words Just be tactful.

After leaving the director's office, Du Xiaxi heard two colleagues muttering in a low voice about how much this month's bonus will be paid, whether it will be less than last month, which patient is given too little red envelope, and so on.

Du Xiaxi just glanced at it lightly, and was about to go to the ward to find the family members to study the operation. If you want to change others in vain, it's better to be yourself first.

Although Du Xiaxi devoted a lot of energy to this operation, the illness was not as kind as Du Xiaxi. All the rescue equipment in the hospital was exhausted, but the life was still not saved, and the patient died on the operating table. .

Although it has long been expected that this kind of result is very likely, Du Xiaxi is still looking forward to that one percent miracle, but the result is often realistic, everyone is realistic, it seems that she is the only one Is it worth it to always hold unrealistic ideas, just for the ethereal 1%?Do you regret it?

At that time, she cried, lying on the narrow operating table, imagining that the patient was facing an unknown operation at that time, very frightened, except for the effect of anesthesia, trembling uncontrollably because of fear.

They put their lives in her hands, even if there is only 1% hope, how can she give up.

People who stand at the boundary of life and death, they may just get the warmth and comfort of one hand, even if it is just a habitual smile that cannot be seen behind the mask, they can have the strength to continue, how can I refuse to give them that A little bit of possibility.

That's why Du Xiaxi got into the habit later. Before each operation, he would shake their hands firmly and pass the warmth from his heart to them. words of encouragement.

"Entrusting life and death" is a great trust and responsibility that cannot be let down. The only thing she regrets is that she didn't work harder.

But the result of this incident was also full of reality. For Du Xiaxi, it was a slight shake in her persistence.

Although the patient's family thanked Du Xiaxi for his efforts, they still found the medical department of the hospital, hoping to compensate the patient for his death.

However, the hospital was not at fault during the operation, so naturally it did not pay the compensation. The family members came a few more times, and the matter did not cause much trouble. They just entangled for a while and gave up without getting the money.

Although the hospital did not publicly express its position, in private, it still withheld the three-month bonus for the medical staff who participated in the operation. On the surface, it was dissatisfied with the ineffective rescue, but everyone knew in their hearts that in the final analysis, the hospital I don't want any doctor to do such a thankless thing in the future.

As the director of the department, she was also deducted her bonus, but the director had to come to comfort Du Xiaxi, which made her feel very guilty. Although the others didn't say anything to her face, the affected people still expressed their dissatisfaction.

"Our Holy Mother Du thinks she's so powerful. If there is a way to heaven, she won't go, but if there is no way to hell, she has to break through. Now it's all over, and we have to follow the pot!"

"It can't be helped. The patient will die if no one cares about him. It's just that his family members are very unkind to deal with this matter later."

"You two are fine, I have lost my bonus for the past few months, so what can I do with the mortgage on that little salary!"

"Well, who told you to buy such a big house, you are dumbfounded now."

"I didn't know that so many things could be spread out..."

"You should go and cry with Madame Du. In case she sympathizes with you, she will pay off the mortgage for you."

The three of them complained in the room, and Du Xiaxi stood outside the door blankly, losing the courage to open the door for a while, and they were all implicated by him.

On the contrary, the person inside the door opened the door first, and when he saw Du Xiaxi standing at the door, he was also taken aback, and smiled awkwardly, probably hearing what he said just now, "That... Sister Du... .”

Du Xiaxi didn't have much expression, and said calmly, "Doctor Zhang, I'm not as old as you."

"Uh...we were joking just now, we didn't mean it." This is what he said against his will, Du Xiaxi understood.

"What's the bonus for the three of you, I'll pay you, and other people's bonuses too." Du Xiaxi was serious and couldn't affect other people's lives because of his own problems.

Those few people had never seen such a serious person, who would have the nerve to really ask for the money, just talking casually, seeing that Du Xiaxi really wanted to take the money, he hurriedly found an excuse and left.

On the second day's rest, Du Xiaxi was a little depressed and went to complain to his friend, but he talked there for a long time, Aqi just looked at her with a smile and didn't speak, and said a little annoyed, "You should just say something and make a comment. , just listen to what I say here."

"I don't know you yet. No matter what you say about you, you won't change. You came to me just to find someone to talk to, to release your emotions. See how empathetic I am, and you still blame me." The woman lit a cigarette as she spoke.

Du Xiaxi hurriedly waved at her, "Come on, smoking is bad for your health."

Aqi put out the cigarette with some helplessness, "Xiaxi, you really haven't changed at all, it seems that you are uncomfortable enough working there. By the way, I have resigned and plan to open a studio by myself. I can't take it anymore, Tiantian is a group of old and stubborn people, it doesn't make sense, and the patients are also a headache."

Du Xiaxi is not at all surprised by her friend's resignation, she is such a person who doesn't like to follow the rules, she is not as stubborn and conservative as herself, "Maybe I am not suitable for such a place... I used to think that when I came here, my level would be higher , I can learn more things... As a result, I really learned a lot of 'reasons'."

"Haha, Xia Xi, you're going to be cynical if you go on like this." Aqi couldn't help laughing when she saw Du Xiaxi biting her lip and looking aggrieved.

"To be honest, I wonder if I'm getting less and less able to get along with people. Am I so difficult to get along with?" Du Xiaxi didn't feel much when he was in school, but after working, he found that he seemed out of place as if he was out of society. .

Her friend patiently helped her analyze it, and it was not easy to see Du Xiaxi being so entangled, "Your distress and confusion are just a lack of recognition from others, and it may come from something that happened in childhood that prevented you from being recognized by others." People trust you, so you really want to be recognized, but you insist on your own point of view. You are not wrong, but you have not met someone who has the same idea as you, or there will be someone who will change you, people will always change .”

"Will it change..." Probably so, wouldn't I be shaken now?

"Xiaxi, you are too upright in your three views, too straight in your sexual orientation, and too upright in short. Sometimes you can solve all your problems with a little flexibility." Your friend shrugged and laughed again.

"You're kidding me again... I have my principles, this is the path I chose, so I am willing to stick to it." This is what Du Xiaxi said to his friends before leaving.

Later, she left the hospital where she worked and went to another tertiary hospital with a much smaller scale, and only worked as an emergency doctor.

People are born lonely. After experiencing a lot, they will find that the world has changed. As they grow up, mature, and get old, strong love will become dull. Knowing the experience of the predecessors is correct, admit that you are ordinary .

The treasures that were most cherished in childhood will become worthless things, and the people and things that are the most unacceptable, you will get used to it after seeing too much, and everyone may become the kind of person you used to despise the most. It is reality, the cruelest reality.

Who still remembers the original dream, who is still persisting, so not forgetting the original intention is the most rare achievement.

This is the path Du Xiaxi chose. The road ahead is difficult, but it is her dream.

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