I see the snow

"Do you know about birds and fish?"

In the silence, the boy in white suddenly asked in a low voice.

"Birds and fish?"

Yin Zhichuan frowned.

The walls of ZoShen Lane are extremely high, almost forty or fifty feet long.

Looking up, even the sky was cut into a narrow strip.

"Ah."

Xi Huai said: "Birds soar in the sky, and fish live in the sea. They are destined not to meet each other. If you try to force it, you will only end up killing one of them."

"..."

"So, it's not that you did anything wrong."

Xi Huai slowed down his voice, and said in a low voice, "It's that we shouldn't be together. Keeping a distance is the best choice."

Yin Zhichuan stared at him blankly.

In the silence where no one spoke, Xi Huai suddenly felt that he had made a slip of the tongue——

He planned for so long, endured humiliation for so long, wasn't it just to get closer to Yinzhichuan?Gain his trust.But now, how could he tell Yin Zhichuan "don't be tempted"?

"...I was talking nonsense."

After a long time, Xi Huai smiled softly.In his drooping eyelids, no one could clearly see the expression in it.The young man said in a hoarse voice: "It's nothing. I don't hate you. Normally you feel indifferent, it's just because I have such a personality. It has nothing to do with you."

Yin Zhichuan looked at him, and after a while he let out a blank "Oh—" but the next moment, he lightened his hand.

It was Xi Huai who broke free from his grasp and walked out of the alley.

The next few days passed relatively peacefully.

Only Qiushui Pavilion sent a post, which was actually written by Zhaoyue, asking Yin Zhichuan to go over and have a brief talk.

"what happened?"

Yin Zhichuan pinched the name card and asked with a frown.

After all, he decided to help Qin Ge, and sent someone to redeem Zhaoyue in the name of Zhen Guo Gongfu a few days ago——

In this way, Zhu Shifeng didn't dare to do anything when he knew about it.

It's just that Yin Zhichuan doesn't know if he is betraying his fourth brother, that brother who is always laughing and taking him and the sixth brother here and there to have a look.

Would he be angry or sad if he knew that he gave the girl he liked to someone else?Never want to enter his dream again.

When redeeming himself, Yin Zhichuan didn't go by himself, he only sent the housekeeper of the mansion with a bunch of gold plants and a name card from the government of Zhen Guo, and settled the matter.

But he didn't expect to receive Zhaoyue's famous post now.

"Why is she still in Qiushui Pavilion?"

Yin Zhichuan rubbed his fingers over the inscription on the thorn, and turned to ask.

"This……"

The housekeeper in the mansion didn't expect it, and was very hesitant for a while: "The villain doesn't know either. That day, the villain did tell the old bustard when he passed by... The ransom money was also paid, and the old bust tore up the contract of sale on the spot. , I won’t go back on my word..."

Yin Zhichuan frowned, stayed silent for a moment, and said:

"I'll go over and have a look."

The famous thorn in his hand is made of the most exquisite birch bark paper, it is soft and soft when he holds it, and if he gets close to it, he can still get the fragrance of powder on it.

In the past, the bank was most devoted to storing the letterheads that Zhaoyue sent back to him, and each letter was carefully placed at the bottom of the box, saying that it would be shown to Zhaoyue when he got married tomorrow.

It's a pity that fetching water from a bamboo basket turned out to be an empty dream.

Yinzhichuan smiled lowly, with an expression of mockery or desolation that he couldn't tell.

This time Yinzhichuan went to Qiushui Pavilion in the afternoon, and the bamboo mats were hung on the windows, cutting the soft sunlight into strips.

It fell on the table and shook slightly.

Zhaoyue didn't use flowers and powder, but only had a very thin white and thin face, hugging the pipa, plucking the strings one after another.

Yin Zhichuan walked over and coughed lightly, the woman turned around and saw him startled slightly, then smiled.

"You and your fourth brother really look alike."

As soon as the diva opened her mouth, she said so.

She poured tea for Yinzhichuan, took a thin cup, slowly pushed it to the opposite side, and said in a low voice, "Please don't be disgusted, just sit down as you like."

In the afternoon at Qiushui Pavilion, there were not many people. Suddenly, I felt that it was quite quiet, and there was a kind of tranquility that was completely different from the noise at night.

Diva's head was slightly tilted, and there was a golden hairpin in her hair, and the tassels on it were shaking slightly due to her movements.

"Why didn't you leave Qiushui Pavilion?"

After thinking about it, Yin Zhichuan still asked.

"It's nice here."

Zhaoyue said lightly, "I don't want to go to the Qin residence either."

Yin Zhichuan was startled, he didn't expect such an answer.

"In my whole life, I only want to leave Qiushui Pavilion twice."

The singer in taupe-colored veil looked out of the curtain and said softly.

She is a very slender woman, the wrist holding the pipa is barely enough to hold, she looks like a lost sheep, pitiful and weak, she can easily arouse the desire for protection in a man's heart.

Most of the women and teenagers in the dusty land have such temperament, and such a protective color can make it easier for them to survive here.

Only Xi Huai was different, he was like a silent but sharp cold blade.

Yinzhichuan thought inappropriately, what he can arouse is the desire to destroy people.For example, the more pure and fragile a treasure is, the more people want to smash it to the ground.

"The first time was when I first entered Qiushui Pavilion."

Zhaoyue then said softly: "At that time, my parents sent me to the pavilion, then turned and left. I was in front of the window of the Accord on the second floor, and I wanted to just jump down and leave with them."

Yin Zhichuan folded his arms and didn't make a sound, just listening to her in silence.

"The second time was when your fourth brother danced his sword in the Gentleman's Tower. At that time, all the women in the Starfield Capital opened the windows to watch?"

Zhaoyue smiled slightly, and said: "How many famous girls are jealous of me? I can get the love of a man like your fourth brother."

Yin Zhichuan thought to himself, that's not true, because of this sword dance, the old man pulled out three of my brother's canes when he went back.

"At that time, it was the second time I wanted to leave here."

The beautiful singer said wistfully, "As long as your fourth brother is willing to take me away."

what?

Hearing this, Yinzhichuan was a little surprised. Could it be that his fourth brother gave up on his own initiative when Yinzhixing and Zhaoyue separated?

"Why did you fall out later?"

Zhaoyue smiled lowly, and whispered to herself: "It's because on the night when he was going to come to redeem me, he didn't come to the appointment due to the unexpected rehearsal in the camp. At that moment, I realized how different I am from him." suitable."

Seeing Yinzhichuan's puzzled expression, the singer smiled slightly and asked, "You men don't understand, do you? The world, military achievements, and fame are ranked higher than women, which you take for granted."

"This is also what I asked your fourth brother later: If the military order and my life are at the two ends of the balance, in his mind, which one is more important?"

Yinzhichuan suddenly had an ominous premonition in his heart, and as expected, the singer Momo said, "Your fourth brother replied: Military orders are more important."

"If one day, I am captured by the enemy army and used as a hostage in front of the battle, he will not be able to save me."

"—How ironic, he said that he likes to hear me sing, but for the sake of the world and the king, he will shoot a cold arrow through the throat of my singing. Maybe he will spend his whole life commemorating my death, never marry, never Continuation. But what about me? My life is still over like this. I got nothing, and died at the hands of the one I love."

Yin Zhichuan stared at her blankly.

"You men always like to use the sacrifice of your beloved woman to highlight your loyalty and willingness. The so-called killing your wife to show your ambition is to break your own weaknesses. So later generations appreciate your men's righteousness and killing relatives, but as far as women are concerned? She only got a heartbreaker.' It's so sad when a hero loses a loved one, isn't it?"

Zhaoyue laughed mockingly: "But has anyone thought about his wife? He lost his life and died at the hands of his husband. You have never imagined her feelings from the perspective of a woman. Did she feel sad or heartbroken?" broken."

Yin Zhichuan was stunned in place, speechless, he never thought that such sharp words like a knife were hidden in the heart of this seemingly slender singer.

"It's been like this since ancient times."

Choked up, Zhaoyue said in a low voice: "Whether a beautiful woman or a mediocre woman is a symbol. It represents rewards and success. It is often written in drama books that 'the general embraces a beautiful woman', but never I also didn't consider whether the beauty would be taken home by the general. Maybe she didn't want to marry the general, but only wanted to have someone who would love her all her life, and she would love her forever. But she was restrained and released forcibly. There, as a reward for the meritorious deeds of the men."

The tea on the table was already cold, Yin Zhichuan looked at the tea leaves at the bottom of the teacup, curled up slightly, lying on the bottom of the cup dark yellow.

What Zhaoyue said was something that he had never thought about before, but listening to it now, it is simply deafening.

There seems to be no doubt that the hero gets the beauty. Before that, Yin Zhichuan never thought of looking at this matter from another perspective of "beauty".

In the history books, women also seem to lose their voices, unworthy of making their own voices.

In the face of her husband's disappointment, she usually can only forgive and cannot complain-in this way, she is general, worthy of praise, poignant but affirmative.

But if she wants to live—this is just a thought that everyone may have, and it is not a big mistake, but it seems that she has committed some heinous crime and will be nailed to the shameful unofficial history or rumors. Year.

She must be sacrificed, she must be sung—

Little do they know that when a person is crowned with the most noble name, it is usually a harbinger of the next step to be sacrificed.

"This is not the life I want."

Zhaoyue said softly: "I just want to stay here and play the pipa. As long as there is one person listening, I can continue to play. I have been learning for 19 years... I have been learning since I was only as tall as a table leg, winter The blood blisters on my hands that I have practiced in my hands are frozen... There will not be any man who will accompany me for as long as he did."

Yinzhichuan didn't say a word.

In a sense, he knew what Zhaoyue said was right.

"I'm not good enough for your brother."

Zhaoyue sighed softly, and said: "I'm just a little girl, and I want to find someone who loves me very much, with whom I can raise my eyebrows, have simple meals, and grow old together. In that person's heart, my smile is not as important in the world."

"What about Qin Ge?"

After thinking about it, Yin Zhichuan still had doubts.

"I told him he could come and listen to me play every night."

Zhaoyue said: "If he hasn't changed his mind after three years, I will go back with him. ... But that may be impossible."

Diva stroked the veil on her arm and smiled slightly.

She pressed a golden key and pushed it in front of Yinzhichuan: "This is the crate of gold plants you sent, it's downstairs, thank you for your kindness, I took it according to Yuexin."

Yin Zhichuan looked at the thin iron piece, said "Yes", and only answered after a while: "Okay."

"If possible, I really want to marry someone like His Majesty."

Suddenly, the singer smiled and said in a low voice: "In his heart, is it true that the world is not as important as the one he loves?"

Yin Zhichuan was startled, he didn't expect her to mention Shen Yan suddenly.

But then he understood.

"Shen Yan... yes."

He smiled: "But his heart is too small, and he is just a heavy banquet that can only accommodate Chu Yuan."

Walking out of the Qiushui Pavilion, Yin Zhichuan suddenly thought of the dream his elder brother had told him before——

"The world is peaceful and the world is peaceful. Lao Tzu is disarmed and returned to the farm, and the horse is released to Nanshan. The most important thing every day is to go to the noodle stall in front of Jinghua Palace with the girl I love to eat a bowl of duck crispy noodles in the morning."

It's also similar to what Zhaoyue said.

It's a pity that there are many helpless things in this world, such as his fourth brother who prefers to use a sword, but is forced to switch to a gun due to his family and surname.

Yin Zhichuan once heard in a storybook: All love in this world is a kind of "self-love".

You love him because there is something in him that you cannot achieve.You're drawn to him like you're drawn to another dream-fulfilling version of yourself in the world.

For example, the fourth brother Yinzhichuan is in love with the unique Zhaoyue who is different from all women, and Yinzhichuan is in love with Xihuai who completely rebelled against the world.

June 21, the summer solstice.Summer is really here.

According to the custom, the common people in Shengyang will put lanterns on the Goddess River outside the city on this day.

Praying for a good fate, praying for peace, praying for someone to return, everything is fine.

The curved white long river meanders away, with lanterns floating on it.

Scattered little by little, all kinds, when you look around, there will be an illusion that the stars in the sky have fallen into the river.

Many boys and girls came together, whispering softly and walking hand in hand.

Four- and five-year-old children are playing and chasing, clapping and playing.

This is the busiest festival in the first half of the year since the lantern show held in Jiangzhou on February 23.

"After dinner, if you are idle, you are idle. Why don't you come out and take a walk."

Yin Zhichuan changed into a light robe and a very low-key ordinary clothes, and took Xi Huai out for a walk.

It is true that Xi Huai "idle is also idle", so why not follow Yinzhichuan to see if he can find out some useful information.

It's just that he's not interested in river lanterns and evening markets. All the stalls along the way are calm and calm, and he can just pass by with a glance, and there is no time to stop and take a look.

"Do you want tiger shoes?"

Yinzhichuan folded his arms, looking here and there like an idle young man.

He stopped in front of a hawker's cart stall, and didn't care that Xi Huai was going far away, picked up a small baby cotton shoe, held it between two fingers, and showed it to Xi Huai with a smile on his lips:

"Does it look good?"

Xi Huai stood in the crowd, he had no choice but to turn around when he heard the sound.

He looked at Yinzhichuan, far away, like a banished fairy descended from the sky, with snow-covered robes and light eyebrows, just looking at Yinzhichuan calmly.

Yin Zhichuan thought, at that moment, he really prayed devoutly, if there is really a river god in this world who can listen to people's wishes——

Then please let this person love him too.

Xi Huai stood in place, one after another passerby passed by his side and shoulders.

But he had no intention of walking towards Yinzhichuan at all, Yinzhichuan could only sigh, put down his tiger-toed shoes, and walked slowly towards Xihuai.

"My mother also made tiger-toed shoes when I was young."

Yin Zhichuan stood side by side with Xi Huai again, and said: "She is a pampered young lady, she has never done any handicrafts before marrying my father, and her ten fingers are not touched by yin and yang——it's a pity that after marrying, she became a mortal from the clouds Sometimes I think that it is not bad for a woman to stay unmarried all her life. If she is married, she will suffer. It belongs to her husband’s family or her parents-in-law. My father is already very good. Mother still suffered many twists and turns, and died at the age of 32."

When they rarely talked about each other's family background like this, Xi Huai listened silently, and Yin Zhichuan asked again:

"What about you?"

"My mother is not a young lady, but a very ordinary woman."

Xi Huai said lightly: "It's a pity that my father has an elm head. She followed my father and suffered a lot."

"Oh." Yinzhichuan squinted his eyes suddenly, and asked, "Is your mother a great beauty? You should be like her—your son should be like your mother to be so outstanding."

Xi Huai smiled slightly: "She is a well-known beauty in Jinling far and near, and when she was young, she broke through the threshold of being married. It's a pity that my father, a childhood sweetheart, captured her heart with a few sour poems."

"...But after many years, she realized that life and love are two different things in many cases. She loves my father's poems, but she can't accept my father's straightforwardness. I often think, maybe for them, when they were teenagers, The time when the handkerchief passed the poem on the mountain was the best day in this relationship."

After saying this, both of them were slightly silent.

There were lanterns and festoons hanging around, pedestrians crowded shoulder to shoulder, when a hurried bearer passed by, he accidentally bumped into Xi Huai, the young man leaned back, Yin Zhichuan hastily pulled him back.

"There are so many people here, if you don't pay attention, you will get separated."

The young major general said: "Closer."

However, his outstretched hand flicked in the air, touched the back of Xi Huai's hand and retracted it as if it was burning.

"...Let's tie the cloth rope."

Yin Zhichuan said: "I can't leave like this."

——He still didn't dare to.

If a person is confident enough that the person he loves also loves him, he will reach out and brush a fallen leaf from his hair; but if he is not sure, he can only smile and say softly, "There is something in your hair" .

Xi Huai stretched out his hand, Yin Zhichuan took out a cloth rope from his sleeve.

One end of the cloth rope was tied to Xihuai's wrist, and the other end was tied to Yinzhichuan's wrist.

In this way, they can keep a certain distance, but never get lost.

"All right."

Yin Zhichuan said, "Let's go shopping."

Xihuai and Yinzhichuan kept a distance of about two palms. Yinzhichuan could sense that there was someone there, but the traction was not strong, and the cloth rope was loose and drooping.

Only get pulled every now and then.

He thought, in fact, the same is true for liking someone.

It was as if a rope was tied to my heart, being pulled and pulled by his few words, frowns, emotions and anger from time to time.

……

Yinzhichuan and Xihuai walked all the way to the Goddess Lake.

On the way, he bought two masks for Xihuai, a brocade bag of tiger eye socket silk candy, and a snow-white sweeping lady that can be hung in front of the door.

It was all Xihuai who took a look at it, and Yinzhichuan bought it against the golden plant, Xihuai said, "I don't want it."

Yinzhichuan smiled sternly, and said, "I want it. It's fine."

Xi Huai ignored him, and Yin Zhichuan played with the strap behind the mask around his fingers.

Walking to the edge of the lake, Xi Huai quietly looked at the river lantern on the lake:

The lotus petals made of oil paper dragged the flickering candles, and flowed into the distance with the river.

"I hope there will be a good harvest in the coming year, and I can save enough money for Ping'er to go to Guanxing Pavilion to apply... He is only eight years old this year, and if he delays, he won't be able to catch up..."

"I hope His Majesty can open a palace draft, so that I can participate in the election. I don't need to marry Chen Xiangkun's son... River God, I would rather go to the palace and die alone than kiss that pockmarked lame man." Son."

"The god of the river, the god of the river, on Mingzhu Avenue, enter the city gate and turn left, does Mr. Li, who lives at the end of the intersection with a red plaque, like me?...Why hasn't he come to propose marriage to me? What do you mean by looking for Mr. Mu?..."

There were too many people making wishes by the river, boys and girls inevitably got close to each other, Xihuai could almost hear the murmurs of prayers from the surrounding people.

The troubles in the hearts of these common people, even if they are sad, are so sad that they are so happy.

There is no bloody burden of family ruin or death, nor tainted with deep hatred until death. It is just the short-lived fireworks troubles of the parents. Add some vinegar, salt, soy sauce and sugar, and cook together into a pot of unique life.

"You or?"

Seeing that Xihuai was fascinated by the river lantern, Yinzhichuan pointed to the peddler beside him who was covered with paper lanterns all over his body.

"Ah."

Xihuai said.

It was just unexpected that what Xi Huai wanted was not two, but three.

"I also have a sister." Seeing Yin Zhichuan tilting his head and looking at him, Xi Huai said softly.

There is also a sister, Yin Zhichuan thought, although he has never heard of it, but Xihuai bought three lanterns at this time, so that sister must have passed away.

He didn't ask anything.

"In the beginning, releasing river lanterns was a sacrifice."

Looking at the introduction to the origin of the custom written on the outside of the paper lantern, Yin Zhichuan smiled and said: "It is said that there is a monster living under the Goddess River in the capital of stars and fields. Every year, it eats 99 girls before it is willing to calm down. If there is one less , he became furious, and dug out the hearts and lungs of the other 98 girls and threw them ashore. At the same time, the river would rise, the ditches would overflow, and all the houses and crops on both sides of the river would be washed away, and there would be no harvest for the whole year. No one can do anything to this vicious beast."

"I come."

Seeing that Xi Huai could not light the scythe, Yin Zhichuan stopped for a moment, took the scythe from his hand, and lit it: "...the king has searched all over for the Taoist priests, but no one can do anything to deal with this vicious monster. Until now, there is a man named The immortal who called 'Fourteen' passed by with his friends. Hearing this, the immortal threw a piece of cloth from his sleeve, turned it into thousands of bodhi branches, bound the monsters, sank to the bottom of the lake, and then went back to the bottom of the lake. No harm."

"Oh."

Xi Huai responded lightly, only leaned over, clamped the corner of his robe between his knees to prevent the snow-white clothes from being stained by mud, and then carefully pushed the river lamp into the water.

"Don't you think it's ridiculous?"

The three river lanterns following Xihuai's eyes flowed into the dark night together. Yinzhichuan smiled: "Shengyang is sometimes such a superstitious and pedantic country. Until now, there is still a demon standing in the middle of the Goddess River. A stone statue of a beast bound by a bodhi branch."

The candlelight is very subtle, protected by a few equally fragile paper lotus petals, and I don't know how far it can drift.

Compared with the endless darkness around, this candlelight is simply weak.

"No."

Xi Huai looked at the river lantern and said softly: "I know that gods and Buddhas are sometimes the last sustenance of people in desperate situations. Just like on a battlefield where ammunition and food are exhausted, there are no wounded soldiers who do not ask Guanyin for help. This is very Lucky thing."

Xi Huai's eyes stopped on the lake, and Yin Zhichuan's eyes stopped on him.

Among the dots of matching lights, the faint candlelight shone on Xi Huai, making him look like a beautiful, perfect white jade statue without any blemish.

"Go to the middle of the river."

Yinzhichuan said, "I'll take you to see that river monster stone."

Not far away is the wharf, where several two-storey attic-high boats are anchored on the shore for the wealthy and nobles to enjoy the scenery and swim along the river.

Yinzhichuan threw five golden plants over, signaling them to release a boat.

"No, no..."

But the waterman working in the fleet rushed over, wiping off his sweat, and explained, "My lord, the Goddess River cannot be sailed by boat today."

"Why can't you leave?"

Yin Zhichuan frowned and looked at him: "The Duke of Zhen Guo has reserved ships here all the year round."

"It's not for this reason..."

The waterman said: "The little one doesn't know why... I just listened to the order. If any adult wants to swim in the river today, no other boats are allowed except his boat."

"joke."

Yinzhichuan said: "I can live in the Tianjia's palace, but I can't take your boat today?"

He kicked and stepped on the rope pole of the building boat: "I still pay now. If you rob it later, you will lose a penny."

The young man in silver robe stepped onto the deck first, then he stretched out his hand towards Xi Huai:

"Here, slow down, don't be afraid."

Under the moonlight, his palm was quietly stretched out there, without urging or withdrawing it.

Just like his love for Xi Huai, he also does not urge or take it back.

Just quietly waiting.