I see the snow

Qin Yi seemed to be split into two people.

During the daytime, it was fine, all officials and servants surrounded him all the time, Qin Yi just became a little silent, not talkative, and often lost in thoughts, nothing too unusual.

But at night, when the surroundings are quiet, Qin Yi will fall into a kind of complete loneliness and bewilderment.

He couldn't sleep, tossed and turned on the bed, as if he was missing something, and his heart was empty.

But what exactly was missing, he couldn't tell.

After several nights of insomnia, Qin Yi got up from the bed, put on his clothes, and walked out of the courtyard.

He didn't let anyone follow him, but walked randomly in the mansion by himself.

But wherever he went, there seemed to be Mu Ziling's shadow.

"... Bright Moon Sac, Bright Moon Sac."[*Note 1]

Qin Yi wandered around the small courtyard. He remembered that this was the place where he once made people throw away Mu Ziling's moon pouch, and searched back and forth in the grass.

But the grass and trees are deep, and it was obviously thrown away not long ago, but now I can't find it anyway.

"……Kings?"

After a while, a patrolling guard spotted Qin Yi, and immediately bowed in astonishment, "I've seen you, Your Majesty!"

Qin Yi paused, turned around, and motioned for them not to kneel.

"...It's so late, what is the king looking for?"

The guard held the lantern and asked Chi.

At the beginning of February, there is still some meaning of cold spring.

The dew on the grass and trees at night wets the hem of Qin Yi's gorgeous brocade robe.

Qin Yi looked tired and said, "I lost something alone."

"thing?"

The guard asked: "Where is it lost? This subordinate and the king will look for it together."

However, Qin Yi remained silent - he didn't know where he lost it.

At the beginning, he abandoned Mu Ziling's bright moon bag like a pair of shoes, and he felt hot to hold it for a moment, and wished to throw it away immediately.

After the entourage got the order, they shouldn't have gone too far, so they threw it nearby.

"I don't know..."

Qin Yi said blankly: "But I have to find it alone. Otherwise, I can't find Mu Ziling, what will happen to the lonely Huai'an?"

"..."

The guard was startled, not knowing what to say.

A group of patrol soldiers followed behind Qin Yi, groping with him.An hour later, he still couldn't find it, so the leader of the small team persuaded Qin Yi, and after a lot of effort, escorted him back to the dormitory to rest.

But Qin Yi was so distraught that all the courtiers who followed were worried.

They even wondered if Qin Yi had been hit by some enchantment.

After a few days, someone suggested that this would not work.It's better to hurry up and invite a concubine from Qin Yi's harem to persuade Qin Yi.

"Concubine Ming was the court lady who was assigned to teach the king when he was young."

An old official said: "For so many years, the queen's harem has been empty, and only this Concubine Ming has won the title. She is the only one who can persuade the king."

"Whatever happens, we will bear the big deal together."

Another staff member said: "The concubine Ming is gentle and understanding, knowledgeable and reasonable, and she is much better than that young master. Seeing her, the king will be able to untie his knot sooner."

So, after a word was finalized, several highly respected ministers jointly sent a letter to invite Qin Yi's concubine Ming to Chifengguan, and asked her to persuade Qin Yi to bring troops back to Liangjing earlier.

After traveling on the road for a while, it will be March in a blink of an eye.

Spring rains come one after another.

One day, Qin Yi sat in a daze on the porch, listening to the patter of rain.

The raindrops kept rolling down from the eaves, forming a section of beads.

Suddenly a servant shouted in a sharp voice: "Your Majesty, someone is asking to see you outside."

Qin Yi's eyes changed, he sat up straight immediately, and asked hastily:

"Why, has someone found his whereabouts?"

Before the palace man could answer, a slender figure in a bright blue cloak walked in.

Concubine Ming was blessed, and said to Qin Yi: "The concubine has seen the king."

"..."

Qin Yi leaned back on the recliner, rubbed the center of his brows, and said in a hoarse voice, "Why are you here?"

Concubine Ming traveled thousands of miles and came here in a hurry, without much rest along the way.

But looking at Qin Yi's obviously disappointed expression, he didn't get angry, but as expected, he said gently: "I heard that the king is not good, so I come to see the king."

Qin Yi was sleepy and didn't even look at her: "It's not good to be alone. It's very good to be alone."

Concubine Ming stared at Qin Yi, and said for a while, "Your Majesty has lost weight."

Qin Yi didn't answer, and Concubine Ming didn't urge him.

She called her personal maid, and presented the large and small paper packages she brought, saying: "This is the medicinal material that my concubine brought from the palace. It can calm the nerves, help sleep, and nourish the body. The king's face is haggard, and his eyes are dark." Green and heavy, I must have not rested for a long time."

The parcels were all carefully wrapped, and they looked not inferior to the ones Qin Yi brought to Mu Ziling in the past.

Qin Yi pushed the things aside impatiently, and said impatiently, "I don't want it alone."

"Chi Fengguan is too big, finding Mr. Mu is definitely not a matter of a day or two."

Concubine Ming said, "If your majesty doesn't take good care of his health, how can he keep urging this matter in person?"

"..."

Qin Yi suddenly turned his head to look at her.

"General Wen, Lord Liu, and Lord Zhao, all together entrusted my concubine to come to Chifengguan to persuade the king."

Concubine Ming smiled and said: "They are all Liang Cheng's pillars. They don't hesitate to risk themselves, and they dare not delay the king. It's a pity that the adults don't know, and let the concubine persuade the king to have something to do with Mr. Mu." What's the use of it?"

Qin Yi stared fixedly at her.

"Embroidery wind," Concubine Ming said, "Take these warming and nourishing materials to the small kitchen, let them stew and serve them at night."

The maid responded, picked up the paper bag, and walked away cautiously.

Only Qin Yi and Concubine Ming were left in the courtyard.

"When I was in the palace before, the king treated Mr. Mu differently from others."

Concubine Ming smiled lightly and said: "Young Master Mu is incomparable to the king. This concubine has long known."

Qin Yi looked at her coldly, chuckled with a "ha", and asked sarcastically, "Do you treat him differently?"

"Are you blind?"

Qin Yi said: "It's just a substitute. Treating him alone will make any difference. Huai'an has always been the only one I like—"

"But what is the difference between Mr. Mu and His Highness Huai'an?"

Concubine Ming asked.

Qin Yi secretly pinched his fingers on the corner of the table and froze for a moment.

"Huai'an is gentle and bright, with a gentle temperament."

After a long time, Qin Yi said in a low voice: "It's not like Mu Ziling is cruel and surly and gloomy. He...do you know how many people he killed? He killed his father and brother, and even killed women, children and children with his own hands. Tell me, why do you like him? !?"

Amidst the sound of the rain, Concubine Ming looked at Qin Yi quietly.

"I used to think so too."

After a long time, Concubine Ming said softly.

"I thought the king liked well-educated women and gentlemen, so my concubine, as a king, went to school to read and read the four books."

Concubine Ming said: "I heard that Crown Prince Yunyan is beautiful and unparalleled, so I told myself to be aware of current affairs, know how to advance and retreat. Never make things difficult for the king, just be a considerate and understanding person."

Qin Yi stared at her, so Concubine Ming asked under Qin Yi's gaze: "But does the king like concubines?"

Qin Yi laughed "ha" and said, "How can it be easy to say whether you are in love or not."

Concubine Ming asked again: "Compared with Mr. Mu, does the king like concubines more?"

Qin Yi froze.

Concubine Ming looked at Qin Yi's expression, smiled not at all surprised, and sighed softly: "Look, Your Majesty, Mr. Mu has never met your standards for the person you admire, but you still make an exception and put him in the in my heart."

"Gu just sees him as a substitute."

Qin Yi reiterated again numbly.

He has probably said this sentence a thousand times, hundreds of times.After thousands of times, even I can believe it.

The spring rain is different from the winter rain, it is always more lingering and affectionate.

Listening to the sound of rain, Qin Yi and Concubine Ming didn't make a sound.

He thought in a daze, it seemed to be almost March, and he seemed to have told someone that when the white camellias bloomed next year, he would break off a few branches and send them to him.

I don't know if he still wants to watch it.

Come back soon if you want to see it.

"He once told Gu that it always rains in Yunyan."

After a long time, Qin Yi said softly as if in a trance: "In summer, the clothes feel as if they haven't been dried. He doesn't like such a humid place, so he wants to come to Liang Cheng."

"Liang Cheng's white camellia is about to bloom this year."

Concubine Ming sighed very lightly when she heard the trill in Qin Yi's voice.

"Others say that this concubine is unparalleled in honor and favor, and she is the only one favored by the king."

She said: "But they don't know that in this harem where there are only two people, my concubine and Mr. Mu, this concubine is just a tool for you and Mr. Mu to get angry."

"..."

"The king will only come to find a concubine after he has quarreled with Mr. Mu."

Concubine Ming said: "What is a concubine? A concubine is a foil for the prince to be angry with Mr. Mu. How many times, the moment the king stepped into the palace gate of the concubine, he asked someone to tell Mr. Mu quickly. I heard that Mr. Mu was angry. , relax your brows a little; when you hear that Mr. Mu doesn't respond, you throw the table."

"Lonely—"

"The only time the king had a concubine after he turned 15 was when he got drunk that day."

Concubine Ming said: "But does your Majesty know? That night you called Gong Ziyin's name."

Qin Yi sat blankly in the bamboo chair, as if his soul had been taken away.

He didn't remember what Concubine Ming said, or he never realized it.

He wanted to refute, wanted to admit it, wanted to say that Gu had never been tempted by a murderous lunatic.

But all of this seemed to be choked in his throat, making it impossible for Qin Yi to refute.

"You are all lying to Gu."

After a long time, he murmured weakly: "Everyone is lying to Gu..."

"Whether we are lying to the king or the king is lying to himself, only the king himself knows."

Concubine Ming looked at the distraught king in front of her. He was once so noble, but now he has become so depressed.

She could hardly bear to speak.

"In the end, I just want to ask the king one thing."

Concubine Ming opened her mouth in a low voice, and said in a hoarse voice: "Mr. Mu and His Highness Huai'an, who is more like the person who met the king in Jiangzhou back then?"

Qin Yi is like a desperate beast in a cage, struggling to death until then.

But it wasn't until Concubine Ming said these words that she really nailed him to death, making him completely stunned, completely desperate, and completely at a loss as to what to do.

"I am lazy by nature, and I don't like royal power and aristocrats. I was too strict in my family. When I was nine years old, I recited the 'policies of various countries' wrongly, and I was beaten. I fled to Jiangzhou in a fit of anger..."

Mu Huai'an once said to him: "'Fenghuang'er' is my baby name, but I can't call it after ten years old. Otherwise, according to Yunyan's belief, my life will be shortened."

So Qin Yi never mentioned the name again.

But thinking about it carefully, although Mu Huai'an responded to all his reminiscences flawlessly and extremely calmly, his expression rarely evokes Qin Yi's impression of the first encounter.

On the contrary, it was Mu Ziling, his profile, his eyes, his sick and crazy appearance, he was exactly like the melancholy boy when he grew up.

...but he never mentioned it to him.

It's not without suspicion, but Qin Yi can't think deeply about it.

That seemed to be a result that Qin Yi couldn't face, so he used it again and again to end the strangeness in his heart, telling himself that if he was, he must have said it a long time ago, how could he never mention it like this?

One of them was too proud, and the other was too evasive, so they have come to where they are today.

"Did you notice something about Daoist Yun Yin before?"

Concubine Ming looked at Qin Yi's expression, and actually got the answer from his expression.

She said: "If you are really ignorant, it's fine. But if you clearly feel something, but because you can't accept the person you love has become like this, you keep running away. Then you really..."

"--enough!"

However, Qin Yi suddenly yelled, interrupted her, and angrily did not allow Concubine Ming to continue speaking.

He is like a willful child who only realizes his liking after losing the most precious thing in the world, he is at a loss and dare not admit it.

How many days have I been sad alone when no one is around, and I am clearly sad like a knife, but I never want to show it in front of others.

"... Enough." Qin Yi murmured, "Stop talking."

Concubine Ming looked at Qin Yi's hand on the table.

Just now when he was furious, he crushed the cup, and the broken porcelain stuck into the palm of his hand, but Qin Yi didn't notice it.He didn't feel any pain at all, even the blood was already on the table.

"The concubine will leave first."

Concubine Ming blessed her body and withdrew.But when she was leaving, she looked at Qin Yi with an indescribable sense of pity or sympathy.

That day, Qin Yi sat outside until dark.

At night, he listened to the sound of rain outside, and for a moment thought of Mu Ziling's cold and graceful profile when he was walking with him in the deserted city not long ago;

I thought for a moment, it is raining so much, does he have an umbrella outside?When will he get angry enough and come back?

I don't know when it was, a follower knocked on Qin Yi's door in a hurry.

"Your Majesty, there is news about Young Master Mu, there is news about Young Master Mu!"

The servant started shouting from the moment he entered the mansion, trotting all the way over: "Your Majesty...!!"

Qin Yi woke up suddenly, and immediately sat up from the bed, before he even had time to put on his underwear, he opened the door with bare feet.

The house was brightly lit, and everyone was immediately agitated by the news.

The rain was heavier than during the day, and it was so loud that the tiles on the roof were being knocked.

In the heavy rain, the servant held a bloody white robe.Qin Yi asked anxiously: "What news? Where is he?"

The servant trembled and said with a sob: "Two spies in our army searched along the bloodstains of Chifengguan all the way, and went deep into Shengyang's interior. Until they found this blood-stained white robe in their Fallen God Tower."

"...Your Majesty, Mr. Mu is dead!!"

A thunderbolt exploded in the sky, making Qin Yi deaf from the noise, and did not hear what the servant said just now.

"……What did you say?"

Qin Yi asked blankly: "I'm tired today, what's the matter we'll discuss tomorrow. Let's step back..."

"...We found this in Fallen God Tower."

However, the servant refused to obey the order, and persistently took out a piece of gravel from his sleeve: "This is the stone monument standing in front of the valley of the Fallen God Tower. It has never collapsed for thousands of years. It reminds the world not to enter without permission. It was once The spine of Chongtian Shenjun is absolutely impossible for ordinary people to destroy."

Qin Yi looked at the gravel, and his eyes fell on a white dress soaked in the rain on the ground.

It was dirty and old, with a lot of blood stains, as if it had been bitten by something.

It was unexpectedly familiar to Qin Yi.

"Destroying the Fallen God Tower requires the help of tens of thousands of ghosts. Young Master Mu's white clothes and Peiyu are all here..."

The servant said: "Young Master Mu must have been devoured by those ghosts and his bones did not exist, so he has never been found for these days!..."

The rain was so heavy that it rushed onto the tattered white robe, washing out all the blood on the robe.

Light red, floating in puddles.

Qin Yi walked over, knelt down slowly, and picked up the white robe.

Everyone looked at him, and countless pairs of eyes fell on Qin Yi.A close minister said: "My Majesty mourns..."

However, Qin Yi remained unmoved, as if he hadn't heard it.

He put the white clothes on his forearms and hugged him in his arms, as if he was really hugging someone.

Without saying a word, he walked back to the room in front of everyone's eyes and closed the door.

He slid to the ground by the door, his wet clothes icy against him.

Qin Yi didn't cry at first, but just sat there numbly, rubbing his cheek against the white robe.

Later, his cheeks were icy cold, and he didn't know whether it was the rain on his clothes or when the tears fell down.

Qin Yi kissed the white robe that smelled faintly of blood, again and again, lingeringly.

Later, he finally cried out, from sobbing to howling in pain like a trapped animal.

Because he finally realized it.

After losing Mu Ziling.

He loves him.