I can't, I can't

It didn't take much time for the voice to spread out, and Sheng Lingyu walked in from the door soon.

Kang Jiangxue saw a slight trace of surprise and bewilderment in his expression, but she had no time to feel pity for this face that made people's hearts sway when they saw it.

The little emperor couldn't restrain his anger, and said with a straight face: "If you ask him what he is doing, just ask me. What are you doing in a daze, don't you want to ask? Why bother to make such a big circle, I will feel trouble for you!"

Sheng Lingyu came back in a hurry, and she only heard Zheng Lanyu's name in the gap when she was talking to Lang Wei just now, and she didn't know what happened before.

However, these questions are not difficult to make people associate. Sheng Lingyu's face changed slightly. He approached to hold the little emperor's hand, trying to calm the little emperor's anger: "Axue."

Kang Jiangxue shook Sheng Lingyu's hand away, and upon seeing this, Sheng Lingyu bent her knees without any hesitation.

He knelt down so easily and submissively, which made the little emperor even more angry.

Kang Jiangxue grabbed his lapel, unable to control the surging emotions in her chest: "Why are you kneeling! Stand up!"

There were only two of them, and they were standing face to face. Kang Jiangxue didn't know why she felt so far away between him and Sheng Lingyu.

He looked into Sheng Lingyu's eyes, wishing to pry Sheng Lingyu's mouth open: "Do you think this is meaningful? How long can it last?"

Sheng Lingyu said: "What is His Majesty talking about?"

The little emperor didn't listen to his words, and broke out in a cold voice: "Yes, the situation outside is special now, you can do this, but when life is peaceful in the future, do you want to keep me in circles for the rest of your life?"

Sheng Lingyu did not expect that the little emperor would speak so bluntly, completely tearing up the whitewashed peace.He was silent for a second, without rebuttal or cover-up, only asked: "Who said what to His Majesty? Zheng Lanyu?"

The little emperor couldn't understand: "You did it, what does it have to do with Zheng Lanyu, why are you mentioning him!"

Hearing what he said, Sheng Lingyu actually laughed, her voice faded, and she asked, "What did I do?"

"You turned down all the visitors who asked to see me, and even intercepted the letter that Lu Qiao wrote to me."

When he said this, the little emperor actually held a glimmer of hope that this was not the case, but Sheng Lingyu's indifferent and unsurprised expression completely shattered his hope, turning it into an indescribable sense of absurdity.

Kang Jiangxue was in a daze: "I really don't understand, I'm standing here with you, we have a daughter, but you—" the little emperor hesitated a little, "Could it be that I misunderstood... ...you don't want me?"

The word "want" to describe Sheng Lingyu's feeling is actually too frivolous and superficial, but this question still hurt Sheng Lingyu, Sheng Lingyu said without hesitation, "Why don't you think so?"

Kang Jiangxue was at the peak of her emotions, so she vented out: "In this case, tell me, Sheng Lingyu, what are you still dissatisfied with?"

When the little emperor said this, he probably didn't mean to blame, but just a question, but these words fell into Sheng Lingyu's ears like a roar.

So coincidentally, for countless nights, Sheng Lingyu kept asking herself like this: Sheng Lingyu, what are you still dissatisfied with?

...but how could he be satisfied?

Doesn't Sheng Lingyu know that the little emperor's actions will be unhappy if she privately withholds the little emperor's letter to restrain the little emperor?Didn't he realize that his behavior after returning to the palace was so obvious that it would alarm the little emperor?

He knows, he knows.

He is very clear that his control over the little emperor does not conform to the gradual and orderly progress he originally expected, and he also knows that sooner or later he will have conflicts with the little emperor.

But in the growing anxiety, he can only do so.

There is a huge black hole in his heart that cannot be filled without it.

Looking back, Sheng Lingyu could still clearly recall the night when she found out that the little emperor was pregnant.

He was so happy that night.

In fact, he never expected to have heirs in his life, but the appearance of that little life gave Sheng Lingyu a rope to climb up in the boundless darkness.

The rope connected him and the little emperor, and connected him and the world. It was the hope that suddenly fell when he had already decided not to live with unnecessary expectations.

Sheng Lingyu couldn't help thinking: So heaven and earth still love him, so he hasn't been completely abandoned.

At that time, he hugged his unattainable sweetheart and shed tears. For the first time, he had a momentary longing for the future life.

But that same night, a loud voice appeared in his head, and he heard the voice taunting him coldly and saying——

"A person who kills his father with his own hands is also qualified to be a father?"

……

It seemed that his life was destined to be unworthy of pleasure. Whenever Sheng Lingyu felt a little bit of happiness, the voice in his head became louder and louder, and then turned into substance, cutting his soul inch by inch.

He knew it wasn't normal, but he couldn't find a way to stop the sound.

When he reunited with the little emperor, the little emperor took the initiative to confess his love to Sheng Lingyu, and the voice told him with a smile: "Look, how well you have done, this person has no one to rely on, and there is no choice, only love." you."

On the night Changle was born, he held the child in his arms, and the little emperor leaned against him, as if they were a real family.

At this time, he heard the voice say: "How can you bear to let her have a father like you? When she grows up, she will definitely be ashamed of you."

During these days "together" with the little emperor, Sheng Lingyu was not unhappy, but at the same time as being happy, she was always accompanied by fear and the illusion of separation.

He divided himself into two halves, one half covering his ears and sinking uncontrollably, and the other half floating outside deeply loathing himself.

He really longed for beautiful things, such as the little emperor, such as the joy, expectation, and joy that the little emperor brought him, such as their daughter—the daughter of him and the little emperor.

But at the same time... He also felt that he was not worthy of such a thing. Beautiful things would make him doubtful, and he would feel that they were illusory, like flowers in a mirror, a bubble in a dream, and would be lost at any time.

"Speak, are you dumb again?!"

Sheng Lingyu came back to her senses, and felt that her throat was very dry. He spoke in a hoarse voice: "I just want to be with His Majesty."

After talking about it or returning here, Kang Jiangxue said anxiously: "How many times have I said that I am with you now!"

"No, no." Sheng Lingyu heard noises in his ears again. He tried hard to control his emotions, but he still couldn't hold back the tingling pain and held his forehead, "You are with me just because...you don't know what the real me is."

Saying these words, Sheng Lingyu seemed to have relieved the dull pain he had been enduring, and he suddenly thought: Yes, that's it.

What he broods on and fears day and night is nothing more than this.

He couldn't show the little emperor his real self, and he didn't dare to show him, because if the little emperor saw it, he would know that the real Sheng Lingyu was not what the little emperor expected. A fake hypocrite.

The little emperor choked for a moment, annoyed and impatient: "Okay, I don't know what you really look like, so tell me what you really look like, and I'll know after you tell me!"

How could Sheng Lingyu say, he looked at the little emperor, his eyes suddenly showed pain, his words were useless at this moment, he approached abruptly and hooked the little emperor's neck, before the little emperor resisted, he kissed him brutally.

This kiss was so inappropriate and painful, Kang Jiangxue naturally struggled.

However, the more he struggled, the tighter Sheng Lingyu buckled him, and this person's pain seemed to transfer to him, which made the little emperor feel sad for some reason.

At this time, Sheng Lingyu suddenly spoke and said in a low voice, "I'm going to kill Fu Honglang."

Kang Jiangxue was so kissed that she lost her speech. She didn't know why Sheng Lingyu kissed him suddenly during the quarrel between the two, let alone why Sheng Lingyu said such a sentence while kissing him.

But he already felt that Sheng Lingyu's state was unusual, as if the little emperor had really forced her out of her normal state.

At this moment, Sheng Lingyu said again: "Kill Yang Huo, kill Lu Qiao...kill them all."

That's all for Fu Honglang and Yang Huo, but he couldn't approve of killing the little emperor Lu Qiao, but before he could speak, Sheng Lingyu said again: "There is also Zheng Lanyu."

Kang Jiangxue was a little stunned, not knowing where to answer the conversation, and it took her a long time to say: "Why is there still Zheng Lanyu? What's the matter with Zheng Lanyu?"

Sheng Lingyu didn't answer, and Kang Jiangxue became angry again in the silence. First, the words had no beginning and no end, and second, he couldn't know what Sheng Lingyu was thinking.He sneered and said, "Why don't you kill me too."

Sheng Lingyu covered the little emperor's mouth and said, "Don't say such things, even if it's a joke."

It wasn't the little emperor who mentioned it first, it was Sheng Lingyu's words that came too suddenly.Kang Jiangxue also gradually calmed down because of this episode, he pushed Sheng Lingyu and said, "Let go."

Sheng Lingyu refused to let it go, and instead took the little emperor to the bed. Kang Jiangxue didn't know why, so she was easily dragged to the bedside by Sheng Lingyu: "...What are you doing!"

Sheng Lingyu didn't do anything more, after putting the little emperor on the bed, he stopped a short distance away: "I know I'm not normal, those things make His Majesty unhappy, I will change."

The word "abnormal" is actually very appropriate to describe Sheng Lingyu's captivity, but when Sheng Lingyu said this word, the fluctuation Kang Jiangxue felt was not as light as Sheng Lingyu said.

Didn't he discover this a long time ago, but once he put this word on the surface, he felt that he knew too little about Sheng Lingyu, and he felt a strong sense of indebtedness.

"I didn't lose my temper with you because I wanted you to change. If you could change, you wouldn't have done it in the first place."

The little emperor was completely calm, and sighed softly: "You don't let me go out, don't let me see other people, even if you control my personal freedom, as long as it really makes you feel at ease, then I can choose to accept it, but I I don't want to guess puzzles with you like this, I want to know what you are thinking, Sheng Lingyu, can you tell me the truth, okay?"

An emperor can tell what kind of mentality he has when accepting the words of imprisonment, Sheng Lingyu is silent in the complete tolerance of the little emperor.

Soon, he said softly: "There is a thread between my minister and Your Majesty, one end is in His Majesty's hand, and the other end is around my neck. Your Majesty can leave at any time, but if I stay away from Your Majesty, I will be strangled to death." of."

"Does Your Majesty know what that thread is?"

The little emperor's voice trembled at Sheng Lingyu's answer: "What is it?"

Sheng Lingyu said: "It's my minister's love and desire for His Majesty."