Congratulations to the king of the net for capturing a genius

更新时间2015-4-2213：02：11字数：3085

Yukimura stood under the lamp to calm down his anger for a long time, and only after a while did he let out a sigh from his lips.

Sanada meant well, he knew it.Although the guy acted irritable and tough, he was worried about him, afraid that he would cause trouble in the future because of his temporary emotional confusion.

——It’s just that Sanada couldn’t understand his thoughts, and didn’t understand that he was convinced.It's not confusion, it's not a momentary passion, it's the warmth that resonates in the soul when you really see that person.

——They are both too stubborn people, and no one can convince the other. Maybe it’s better for each other to calm down and try to understand each other.Now—he wanted to help.

When I had an argument with my best friend, my heart felt empty and cold.Only that young man with a faint smile can fill the desolation in his heart.

.

Fuji was sitting in a small shop drinking a cup of herbal tea when he received the call from Yukimura.The cool liquid slides down the throat and flows into the stomach, with a faint tea fragrance and a moisturizing feeling.But he tasted so much bitterness.A pair of blue eyes looked out of the window a little out of focus. It was already dark. At this time, it was time to go back to Atobe's manor.However, I don't know how Yukimura and Sanada are talking.

——I have long been mentally prepared for this.There was a hunch when the decision to be together was made.

No, it cannot be said to be a hunch, it should be said to be the result of rational deduction.

The right to speak in this world has always been in the hands of the so-called "mainstream", but as a minority, as a "heterogeneous", facing the incomprehension and even anger of the whole world and the whole society, including family and friends, and thinking that they are "sick", it is all Nothing could be more natural.

In my previous life, I told my family members about my sexuality, and my close friends also knew about it.But even so, even though he is notoriously popular and has many good friends, including family members, only a few people know that he likes men within two hands.And who knows who his lover is, who knows that he is with Tezuka... probably only Echizen, Yukimura, and Gan three people—— Liu knows that he doesn't know, after all, he was not familiar with Liu at that time, although Gan can gossip , but such a big problem will not be disclosed.

But even if there are only a few insiders, and they are all his most important people, Buer still feels the confusion from those around him and the pain they have brought to him when they tried to "straighten" him.When Yuta heard that he liked men, she couldn't accept it after a brief shock. She didn't talk to him for a few days, and when she came to him again, her face was full of confusion—"Brother, how old are you? Are you really sure? Don't spend too much time with girls..."

Taking a sip of tea, Fuji smiled wryly. Yuta didn’t look down on him or feel disgusted. In fact, it was already a good reaction. But for me who was only a teenager at that time, I mustered up all the courage to disclose it to my family. His own sexuality was carefully treated as a "patient" who needed to be "treated" through "contact with women". Even though he was relatively mature at that time, he still felt a deep pain.

Parents are actually more enlightened, but it is still impossible to accept it naturally.When my mother heard him say that he likes men, the person who was standing fell down on the sofa all of a sudden, looking at him with shocked and distressed eyes, and tears welled up in her eyes soon.That kind of fragile, with a little bit of hope—hope that she heard it wrong or it was just a bad joke of his—that kind of look, I never want to recall it later, but it still appears in my dreams every time , so that his whole body was covered in cold sweat when he woke up, and he couldn't express his guilt.His mother was kind, gentle and kind, and she was reluctant to say any harsh words to him, not to mention that he had always been her pride, so good that everyone praised him.She was reluctant to talk about him, but felt that it was wrong and bad. Under the contradiction, there was only one person crying silently—she thought he didn't know, but during those days he often woke up in the middle of the night, and then walked out of the room to While in the corridor, I heard the subdued and suppressed choking sound in the living room.And, what I saw when I woke up the next day, even though she carefully covered it with foundation, was still visible, red and swollen eyes.

His father responded with a long, great silence about his coming out.After hearing that he said he liked men, I didn't speak a word to him during the few days at home——shortly afterwards, I went abroad again due to work reasons.Buer didn't dare to call him, but he didn't call either.He was not mentioned at home, and the mother, sister, or brother who answered the phone carefully did not mention him, for fear of arousing his father's anger—but they didn't know that it was so cautious, as if trying to cover up his existence. This kind of action really made him hurt, not only hurt, but also cold, cold to the heart.

At that time, my younger brother's incomprehension, my mother's dejection, the fragility and silent resistance in tears, and my father's almost "cold and violent" behavior made Fuji feel that he was a person who fell into the ocean, and more and more liquid Covering his entire world, covering his mouth and nose so he couldn't breathe—he thought he'd suffocate.Even Tezuka’s phone calls couldn’t comfort him—yes, at that time, Tezuka was abroad, busy with competitions and didn’t have many phone calls. Coupled with the time difference, every time he talked with him, he was racing against time. A sense of urgency, for fear of delaying his rest.And there were so many things to say, and about the family, even if he told Tezuka, it would not help, only one more person to worry about.So he didn't say anything at all, so that Tezuka would not be worried, affect the mood of the game, and also prevent Tezuka from worrying about the affairs of Tezuka's family. I'm afraid it will be a devastating blow.This relationship is too fragile, it can only be like a plant growing in the shadows and corners, shrinking and malnourished, and it is easily destroyed once there is a heavy rain or a long-term drought.They struggled for such a long time, and in the end, under all kinds of tediousness and time, their feelings were gradually wiped out, leaving only exhaustion.

Even if his family finally accepts the fact that he is gay, the scars and gaps still exist after all, and they can only be healed slowly with time and the love of relatives-but there will still be wounds.

But he was lucky after all.Although it was almost impossible to support at that time, it still persisted.

Because of my sister and Yukimura.

Yukimura is the only outlet for him to confide.Among the people who know what his feelings are, he is the only one who can understand his soul and can be called a confidant.So Tezuka can't be disturbed, his family can't accept it, and other friends can't understand the situation, there is only one Yukimura, who is his most frequent correspondent on the phone, who knows the whole process of his emotions.

The other is the elder sister, Yumiko has always stood by her side from beginning to end, accompanying her through the most difficult times and trying to ease the atmosphere at home.I don't know what Yumiko and his parents talked about, but he knows that it must be difficult and intense-he has seen his sister go home with her face covered, and the redness and swelling between her fingers are clearly visible-except for his affairs, it cannot be someone else Yes, at that time.

He felt the extremely depressing atmosphere at home, and deeply felt his own powerlessness.He didn't want to, but there was no way.If feelings can be "healed", he also thinks, why doesn't he want to be like a "normal person" calmly holding his lover's hand and walking in the sunshine... But he is a minority, and this world is not tolerant enough.

——He can only carefully try to change the environment around him, and use his best smile to win their understanding...

— But, forgive me?He, them, there are so many people who just want to be with the one they love, so many people who don't hurt anyone and don't hurt anyone——

Why do you need to forgive?

Obviously, obviously, I did nothing wrong...

(The author has something to say: Some readers told me that Japan and China are different. Shibuya District in Tokyo recognizes same-sex marriage. Why are you so conservative? What I want to say is that no matter which country or region there are cultural differences Yes, Japan is more typical as a place where the Eastern and Western cultures blend. Since the design of the Sanada family is a traditional Japanese-style family, I extended it and became very conservative. It is the most traditional part. So his acceptance The degree of acceptance is very low—on the other hand, Atobe, Echizen, and Shiraishi all have relatively high acceptance, which is probably due to the relatively open Japanese culture. In addition, some relatives said why Sanada couldn’t accept it, so he had to manage Yukimura. The Japanese are not very good. Do you like to interfere with other people's lifestyles? This is true, but not all of them are. The few Japanese I know have very different personalities. Besides, for Sanada, growing up with him is faster than growing up with him The year-old Yukimura—Sanada was born in May, and Yukimura was born in March of the following year—is not only a friend, but also not only a respectable minister, in life, tennis aside, he is a bit like a younger brother. ?So Sanada’s reaction is based on the family, the relationship with Yukimura, etc., and I have thought about it seriously when I wrote it. I hope this explanation can satisfy everyone. In addition, it is the family in this chapter——Fuji’s family is actually It is relatively enlightened, so it is faster to accept the fact that the child is gay. Although the writing in this chapter is a bit depressing, it is normal to react to the sudden shock, and then I slowly accepted it. But the things in the previous life After all, it’s over, and I won’t mention it in the future. Just look at the situation in this life in the future. Anyway, comments and suggestions are welcome O(∩_∩)O~)