imaginary rival

After the night falls, the whole city is more prosperous than during the day.

One after another, the neon lights are grotesque, falling on people's faces, and everyone is different.

Yan An waited for a while, then suddenly raised his hand, and made a movement of lifting the cover in front of him.

"Huh?" Jiang Shiyu looked at him.

"The trash can is open," Yan An said, "You can vomit."

"No," Jiang Shiyu smiled for a while, "Can we stop being so disgusting?"

Yan An smiled, but said nothing.

"I'm thinking about how to say it," Jiang Shiyu looked at him, "It's related to my mother."

Yan An nodded, suddenly remembered something, walked over to pick up Jiang Shiyu's cell phone behind the door, and the cell phone was lifted up to wake it up, it was okay, there were no scratches or cracks.

But he saw Jiang Shiyu's lock screen pattern at a glance, two stick figures drawn on paper.

The slightly shorter stickman hooked the taller stickman's shoulders. The two of them didn't even have facial features, yet Yan An could tell at a glance that it was him and Jiang Shiyu.

"Interesting," Jiang Shiyu took the phone and said with a smile, "I drew it when I couldn't write the question."

"You painter," Yan An looked at him and smiled, "You shouldn't be able to draw before you're three years old, right?"

Jiang Shiyu laughed for a while, then put the phone back in his pocket.

He actually wanted to use a photo of the two of them as a screensaver.

But it's too easy to be discovered, and it's not good to be seen by anyone, and so far he and Yan An haven't had a photo together.

Xie Lanlan usually knows how to take pictures when she goes out to play, but she takes pictures of food, and her technique of taking pictures of people is the same as that of Yan An, all of which are afterimages. There is no one who can't practice shaking hands in 18 years, and even less than a year.

Jiang Shiyu sat on the side of the bed, Yan An hesitated, got up and locked the door, after locking the door, walked to Jiang Shiyu and sat down, Jiang Shiyu immediately wrapped his arms around his waist.

"If I really live here," Jiang Shiyu twisted his clothes, "Every time we have some contact, do you have to lock the door?"

"...My mother sometimes doesn't knock on the door." Yan An turned to look at him, "Just came in."

"It will be discovered." Jiang Shiyu said.

"Didn't you say you can't?" Yan An frowned, "Two boys..."

"Two boys won't lock the door all the time in the same room," Jiang Shiyu said in a soft tone, "It might be nothing once or twice, but if there are too many times, your parents will notice something."

Yan An's lips parted for a moment, trying to refute something, but he couldn't say it.

"So I just come to have a meal sometimes," Jiang Shiyu continued, "Come on Friday or weekend, and I'll go back after eating."

"Then you...you can't just eat instant noodles at other times," Yan An squeezed his arm, "Well, I think you still..."

"I can take care of myself," Jiang Shiyu looked at him, amused, "Why do you always feel that I can't take care of myself?"

Yan An glanced at him up and down. Although he didn't speak, his eyes were filled with "Isn't it?"

"Don't worry." Jiang Shiyu grabbed his waist twice.

Yan An flinched, then relaxed again, and leaned against Jiang Shiyu.

"So what happened to you," he asked, after a pause, "your mother?"

"Hmm..." Jiang Shiyu buried his face on his shoulder and took a deep breath, "My mother transferred the money to me."

"Ah." Yan An didn't quite understand.

transfer?

What happened to the transfer?

The money that is not needed can be given to Xiao An who is in need.

"She has been away for so many days, and the total amount of money she transferred to me is nearly [-]," Jiang Shiyu continued, "I transfer it to me every once in a while."

"Auntie, something happened?" Yan An turned his head suddenly, and the tip of his nose rubbed against Jiang Shiyu's hair, itching, he turned his head back a little.

"Nothing happened," Jiang Shiyu put his arms around Yan An's waist, moved his face to the side, and moved his body back, pressing his whole body on Yan An's body. "I called, and the video However, I asked her company and she was fine."

"Then why..." Before Yan An finished speaking, Jiang Shiyu let out a long sigh and interrupted the sentence he was about to say.

"My mother... is a person who yearns for freedom," Jiang Shiyu said. "She didn't give birth to me because she wanted to. There is no way."

Yan An moved his hand to Jiang Shiyu's and patted it.

"It had been several months since she found out she was pregnant, and she couldn't do it. It hurt her health. My grandparents persuaded her to give birth, and I... my dad kept asking her to give birth," Jiang Shiyu continued, with a very steady tone. , "This is how people are. No matter how free they are, as long as everyone puts pressure on her, if she has no way to escape, she can only obey."

"Really?" Yan An whispered.

"Well, it may be Chinese characteristics. As long as someone does not live the same life as others, all the relatives of the seven aunts and eight aunts will come to persuade you and tell you that this is not good." Jiang Shiyu There was a long pause after saying this.

"Just like Ran Hang." Yan An said.

"...Well," Jiang Shiyu didn't want to mention Ran Hang in front of him, "so my mother gave birth to me, she didn't do it voluntarily."

"Ah." Yan An responded.

Before giving birth, everyone was persuading her that it would be fine after she was born, even if you don't like children, you will like him when you are born.

There is no mother who does not love her child.

Women are born with maternal love, how can you not like children.

When Chen Wen—Jiang Shiyu's mother—really gave birth to the child, she realized that the facts were too different from what he said.

Not all women are born with maternal love.

There are real child haters, and no man or woman is born with any kind of love.

Love for others needs to be cultivated the day after tomorrow.

Before the birth, everyone said that helping her with the child was limited to the daytime. In the first few months of the child's birth, when it was the hardest and most difficult time, she couldn't leave the child's side at all.

Confinement, breastfeeding, all kinds of postpartum recovery were all on her body, and Jiang Xing was still the same as she was during pregnancy, treating her well and being gentle to her, other than that, she didn't show any actions.

Everyone said that it would be fine when the child grew up, and that it would be fine when the child became sensible. Chen Wen just endured like this. She didn't know what she made Jiang Shiyu feel, but what she waited for was Jiang Xing's cheating .

"Have I ever told you," Jiang Shiyu said in a muffled voice, "my dad cheated on a man."

Yan An was really silent this time.

He suddenly understood the reason for Jiang Shiyu's previous reaction, and why Jiang Shiyu cared so much about coming out.

Because he wants to give an explanation to his family and his lover, instead of hiding his true sexuality for a lifetime like his father did.

"My mother found out she was pregnant and got married and gave birth to me. My father dared not come out and married under pressure," Jiang Shiyu said. "My family was built under the pressure of others."

"So you have this kind of character." Yan An said softly.

"What's my personality?" Jiang Shiyu smiled sullenly.

"Weak and sullen." Yan An said affirmatively.

Jiang Shiyu patted him gently on the stomach: "Why do you always think I'm weak, do you know that you can't beat me with just one hand?"

"I don't know." Yan An was relieved.

Anyway, Jiang Shiyu gave him the impression that he was quite weak.

Maybe it was because Jiang Shiyu cried all the time, maybe it was because Jiang Shiyu had a fever that time, maybe it was because of this person's inherent temperament.

Weak temperament.

"Anyway, my mother has always disliked me, and I can feel that raising me has become her responsibility, just like completing a task," Jiang Shiyu said, "Now that she is divorced and I am almost an adult, her body The burden is gone, do you understand?"

Just as Yan An relaxed a little, his mood became heavy again.

"She suddenly sent me money like this, and gave me a lot of money for no reason. I was wondering..." Jiang Shiyu tapped Yan An's waist with his finger, and said softly, "Is she planning to abandon me?" gone?"

"No," Yan An blurted out, "How could she not want you anymore, she..."

how is she?

Children are forced and marriages are broken.

Jiang Xing's marriage was also forced.

Neither of them knew how to resist, nor did they know how to fight for the future. Just because of other people's words and pressure from others, they made hasty choices about life-long events.

That's why such a Jiang Shiyu was raised.

Although Jiang Shiyu is much better now, at least he will take the initiative to say something, but Yan An still can't imagine his life before.

Jiang Shiyu lived here for a while before he was seven years old.

What was Jiang Shiyu like at that time?

Yan An couldn't remember.

He suddenly hated his memory so much, how could he not remember people who were playing with him before the age of seven.

"I'm just guessing," Jiang Shiyu said slowly, "Just wait and see, if she really doesn't want me, she will give me a result after the college entrance examination."

"Can't you ask her?" Yan An wanted to turn around to look at Jiang Shiyu's face, but Jiang Shiyu hugged him tightly, his face unmoving as if it had grown on his back.

"Besides, why do you still transfer the money after I don't want you? Don't think too much," Yan An continued, "You think about these things every day, how big of a brain do you have? Can you pretend to be the next earth?"

Jiang Shiyu chuckled a few times: "Maybe it's college tuition?"

"I don't think it's possible, don't think about it," Yan An said, "Maybe she just transferred the money to you because she was afraid that you would have a bad life?"

Jiang Shiyu was silent for a while without speaking.

"Can you hug me a little more," Yan An clicked his tongue, "I want to turn around and see you."

"Wouldn't it bother you to see me every day?" Jiang Shiyu asked.

"How long has it been?" Yan An said, "What should I do if I get bored now?"

"For a lifetime?" Jiang Shiyu continued to ask.

"Yes." Yan An replied quickly.

Jiang Shiyu laughed again, his shoulders shook, but he didn't speak.

He always thought that he and Yan An were the same kind of person, depressed, able to hold back, the first consideration was always others, and he always put himself second or later.

But now it seems that it is not the same.

He can't imagine spending the rest of his life with someone, spending his whole life with erratic feelings, always trusting each other, always insisting on each other, etc. After all, the only "love" he has witnessed, his parents, are like that Distorted look.

But Yan An dared to think.

Yan An is a person who has the courage to imagine the future.

They're both similar and yet very different.

But Jiang Shiyu thought that if it was Yan An, he might also be able to imagine the future.

"Brother Xiaoyu, don't worry." Yan An patted his hand and said, "Plan for the worst, even if your mother is really... Anyway, I won't want you."

"You are my mother?" Jiang Shiyu said.

"You are your father." Yan An said.

"Yan An." Jiang Shiyu called softly.

"Ah." Yan An responded, trying to turn around, but Jiang Shiyu held his hand too hard, and failed to turn around.

"I like you." Jiang Shiyu said.

"...Oh," Yan An was taken aback for a moment, "It's all of a sudden."

"You're just an idiot." Jiang Shiyu was amused.