Tagged post bipolar omega

Lu Jinsen couldn't help frowning and looked at Xie Zhitang. Xie Zhitang hid half of his face under the quilt, only showing a pair of eyes and looking back at him.

Lu Jinsen glanced at Xie Zhitang and said, "What do you want to say about this dream?"

Xie Zhitang blinked, and Lu Jinsen added: "My evaluation of your dream is 'justifiable defense', but you don't seem to think so."

Xie Zhitang was silent for a while.

Lu Jinsen looked sideways at Xie Zhitang who was hiding in the shadows, and patiently waited for Xie Zhitang's reply.

Xie Zhitang slipped out of the quilt, and leaned against the head of the bed like Lu Jinsen after studying at night, then bowed his head in silence for a while before saying: "I don't think it's right..."

"What's wrong?" Lu Jinsen asked.

"Under the circumstance that he didn't hurt me, it's wrong for me to kill him." Xie Zhitang said hesitantly: "And..."

"He was struggling very hard at the time, but I didn't let go...I know that even if I let go now, he can't hurt me, but I didn't." Xie Zhitang said very softly, and his tone was very light: "I know this is not self-defense, so My first reaction was to worry."

"Over there, on the prairie, there are no surveillance cameras. I have no way to prove that I am only defending..." Xie Zhitang lowered his face and couldn't see clearly, and said in a low voice: "If they find out, then in their eyes, I Only perpetrators, not victims."

"I can't prove my innocence..." Xie Zhitang slowly raised his head and looked at Lu Jinsen with a blank expression, "Besides... am I really innocent? Isn't it me who is the murderer? I did something wrong, and then I want to escaped, so I went to his tent to exonerate myself.”

Lu Jinsen's expression didn't fluctuate, he was still calm, Xie Zhitang pursed his lips and said, "I...is that kind of person."

After Xie Zhitang finished speaking, he lowered his head deeply, not daring to look at Lu Jinsen's expression, his hands were mixed together under the quilt.

He knew, he knew very well that this matter should not be said.

Xie Zhitang has never had a strong desire to tell, because he is used to suppressing himself.The difference between Xie Zhitang's thinking and that of ordinary people is not small. In order to prevent others from noticing that something is wrong with him, Xie Zhitang rarely tells others his true inner thoughts.

Even in front of his parents, Xie Zhitang can clearly distinguish what can be said and what cannot be said.

Things that cannot be said are not all bad things or things that are hard to see.

It's just that if others know Xie Zhitang's reaction to these things,

You will find that his thinking is different from ordinary people, and then change your view of him.

Xie Zhitang has been working hard to maintain his image in front of the whole world.

This is not something to be fancied and unconventional about.

Xie Zhitang's education is all about expressing "love and peace" and praising the preciousness of life, but Xie Zhitang doesn't think so.

It's like Xie Zhitang killed someone in his dream, but what worries him is not his act of 'killing', but the fact that he will be discovered.

But beside Lu Jinsen, Xie Zhitang broke his disguise with his own hands, broke the hard shell and showed Lu Jinsen his blood-stained wound.

Xie Zhitang didn't want to push Lu Jinsen away, let alone scare Lu Jinsen away, but he felt that he had to confess to Lu Jinsen.

No one wants their partner to be an extremely emotional, high-risk person.

Even if it was Xie Zhitang himself, if there were two Xie Zhitangs in the world, Xie Zhitang would not be willing to get along with him, and would even be extremely repulsive——

Xie Zhitang's self-loathing has always been very heavy.

This kind of self-loathing has always been rooted in Xie Zhitang's subconscious, from when Xie Zhitang realized that compared with ordinary people, he was too cold-blooded and ruthless until now.

Xie Zhitang knew very early on that he had a low sense of morality, lacked empathy and guilt, and was not interested in establishing and maintaining long-term and stable interpersonal relationships.

But occasionally he will suddenly reflect and review his behavior as if he has established a sympathy with other people.

But his final conclusions were always ones that tended toward self-destruction, not change.

Even now, he decided to confess himself to Lu Jinsen, and it took a long time for him to make the decision.

His reason and emotions were all against him, and every word he said was only uttered after a difficult game with himself.

Because confessing this matter to Lu Jinsen is harmful to Xie Zhitang.

When Xie Zhitang fell ill in front of Lu Jinsen, he didn't have such worries.Because of the behavior when sick, because of the cause of 'sickness', it can be forgiven.

Xie Zhitang knew that his behavior in front of Lu Jinsen when he was sick would not make Lu Jinsen feel bored and avoid him or break their relationship.

It doesn't matter if he breaks down in front of Lu Jinsen or hugs him and cries loudly, even if Xie Zhitang is indeed sick to the point where he can no longer control his behavior, he still has this concept in his mind very clearly and subconsciously grasps the degree .

A speed that makes Lu Jinsen feel sorry for his condition but not afraid to guard against him because of his destructive power.

But everything he said now has gone far beyond the point where others will feel sorry for what happened to him and not be afraid of him.

To be precise, this matter will only make others guard against and fear him.

Xie Zhitang never thought that he would tell this matter to another person.Because no criminal will remind the people around him before committing a crime: I have a problem!Pay attention to me!

Even though Xie Zhitang didn't think he would commit a crime, the concept was deeply embedded in his subconscious, making it difficult to speak.

Lu Jinsen couldn't help but frowned again, turned slightly and said to Xie Zhitang solemnly: "Tangtang, your thinking is wrong."

Xie Zhitang first tilted his head slightly, then raised his head to look at Lu Jinsen from under his loose hair.

Lu Jinsen turned off the orange light by the bed, and the surroundings immediately became dark.But then he picked up the remote control and opened the curtains, and the room was brightened again.

The environment can affect people very much. In a bright environment, Xie Zhitang's condition is always better than when it is dim.

But Xie Zhitang still acted very repulsive, turned his head and looked at the fully lit sky outside, closed his eyes and stuck to Lu Jinsen's body, and buried his head on Lu Jinsen's chest.

Lu Jinsen patted Xie Zhitang's hairy head on his chest, rubbed it on the back of his head, and said strangely: "Tangtang, who gave you such a concept, making you think that you can perfectly control the overall situation?"

Xie Zhitang didn't understand Lu Jinsen's words, he just moved his head to show that he was listening.

Lu Jinsen continued: "There will always be some disputes about the determination of the nature of the case, whether it is a legitimate defense or an excessive defense is controversial."

"Because they usually look at the case from different angles. One is from the perspective of ordinary people before the event, and the other is from the perspective of rational people afterward." Lu Jinsen put his hand on Xie Zhitang's back and patted it softly, saying in a gentle tone: "He took out the With the knife, there is the intention to hurt you, and then you take the knife and fight back, this is legitimate self-defense."

"He struggled so hard that you felt he was still dangerous, so it was understandable to wait until he was completely incapacitated before letting go."

Lu Jinsen looked down at Xie Zhitang in his arms and continued: "You are not a murderer, the definition of a murderer is someone who commits a murder, and you are only protecting yourself. From another perspective, you are not only not a murderer, but also a hero who saved yourself .”

"Self-defense is not wrong, and you have done nothing wrong." Lu Jinsen paused and said, "And you are not wrong to create a murderer for them to confuse them for your own safety."

"I don't like you using the word 'exonerate'." Lu Jinsen frowned slightly and said to Xie Zhitang in his arms, "You are not guilty, how can you escape?"

"Investigate the source, the cause of his death is that he wanted to kill you, right? You are only defending yourself for your own safety, why do you feel that you did something wrong?" Lu Jinsen slowly and gently corrected Xie Zhitang's thinking: " What you did to flee to his tent was not to get rid of the crime, but to know the current situation and make the right decision for your own safety."

Lu Jinsen said something serious, but Xie Zhitang froze in front of Lu Jinsen's chest, and slowly raised his head from Lu Jinsen's chest.

Lu Jinsen looked down at Xie Zhitang slightly, looked down at him, raised his hand and pulled Xie Zhitang's hair behind his back, and then said to him gently and calmly: "I said before everything, you must put yourself first. Number one priority."

"Do you know what the number one priority is?" Lu Jinsen asked.

Xie Zhitang didn't speak, and quickly raised his head to look at Lu Jinsen, then lowered his eyes, staring at Lu Jinsen's home clothes again, and became dazed.

Lu Jinsen put his hand on Xie Zhitang's chin, lifted Xie Zhitang's face up, and looked at Xie Zhitang.

Xie Zhitang looked obedient after being lifted up like this, and looked at Lu Jinsen with trembling eyelashes.

Lu Jinsen pressed his thumb lightly under his eyes and said, "Your life is more important than anything else."

Lu Jinsen frowned slightly and emphasized: "Everything else."

Xie Zhitang seemed to have been scalded, his heart trembled, he dodged Lu Jinsen's gaze and slightly turned his face away, and Lu Jinsen scraped his chin along the jaw line with his fingertips, and then let go of his face.

Lu Jinsen looked at the downcast Xie Zhitang and said, "Besides, this is just a dream."

"Why are you sad? Because of a dream, something unfounded?" Lu Jinsen put his arms around Xie Zhitang, looked sideways at Xie Zhitang and said, "You shouldn't judge yourself for something that didn't happen, it's just a dream."

Xie Zhitang nodded sullenly.

Lu Jinsen knew that Xie Zhitang would not sleep again, so he got out of bed and poured Xie Zhitang a cup of hot water.

Xie Zhitang also changed his posture, crossing his legs and facing Lu Jinsen, holding the cup with both hands as if he was afraid of the cold and drew the temperature of hot water from the cup.

Lu Jinsen took a chair and sat down opposite Xie Zhitang, wanting to take this opportunity to talk to Xie Zhitang about Xie Zhitang's problem.

If Lu Jinsen likes someone, he will think that whoever is perfect.His evaluation of Xie Zhitang has been "flaws can't hide the beauty" from a very early stage. Yu is indeed very good, but he will not ignore the flaws.He is aware of Xie Zhitang's problems and faults, but this does not affect his liking for Xie Zhitang.

Lu Jinsen always remembered Xie Zhitang's question very deeply, but he didn't bring it up to Xie Zhitang easily because of Xie Zhitang's condition.

Lu Jinsen is seven years older than Xie Zhitang, and his life stages do not overlap. Lu Jinsen inevitably regards Xie Zhitang as an elder.

In his opinion, Xie Zhitang's Three Views are somewhat unhealthy, perhaps because he has been sick since childhood, and rarely interacts with others, even if he is not very close to his parents.

Xie Zhitang has not been properly guided since he was a child, and as a result, he always easily blames himself for all problems.

This is just a question, Lu Jinsen pondered for a while, raised his hand to hold Xie Zhitang's hand in his palm, and used this behavior to express his comfort to Xie Zhitang, and then asked softly: "Tangtang, do you still remember that we went to buy a suit?" son?"

Xie Zhitang trembled slightly in Lu Jinsen's palm, then opened his palm and shook Lu Jinsen's palm, nodded, "Yes."

"When I was on the bus to the theater, I asked you why you were angry with Uncle Zhang on purpose." Lu Jinsen said calmly, "The reason you gave me was that Uncle Zhang glared at you."

"He didn't stare at me." Xie Zhitang replied sullenly with his eyes downcast.

"You said that Uncle Zhang wanted to stare at you." Lu Jinsen gently rubbed Xie Zhitang's palm with his thumb to relieve his pressure.

"I wasn't angry at the time, but I just wanted to let you know that you can't convict someone just because of their thoughts." Lu Jinsen looked at Xie Zhitang and said softly: "Thoughts are innocent. The police can't arrest adolescent children who want to destroy the world, because they It's not a crime to do something that harms the world, just to fantasize in your head."

Xie Zhitang didn't move all the time, he lowered his head and couldn't see his expression clearly, and rubbed the cup with one hand, this was a subconscious action of a broken mind.

Lu Jinsen raised his hand to hold Xie Zhitang's hand holding the cup, and placed it on Xie Zhitang's lap.

"As long as no one is hurt, then no one should be blamed." Lu Jinsen compared the two incidents to Xie Zhitang, so that Xie Zhitang could understand where his fault was: "Uncle Zhang is innocent because he didn't stare at you. And you're innocent because you didn't hurt real people."

"You can't condemn people just because of their thoughts, Tangtang." Lu Jinsen said: "Your thinking logic is wrong. Should adolescent children be responsible for the destruction of their fantasy world? Just because of their fantasy, let them Get the same treatment as the most dangerous criminals?"

Xie Zhitang paused, then slowly shook his head.

Lu Jinsen squeezed his hand tightly, brought his hands together, and said softly: "You must always remember this. Thoughts are innocent. As long as no one is hurt, no one should be rewarded for their thoughts." You shouldn't be so guilty and sad."

"Don't hurt others for things that haven't happened, and don't punish yourself for things that haven't happened." Lu Jinsen looked down at Xie Zhitang, and corrected Xie Zhitang's thinking bit by bit.

Xie Zhitang was silent for a while, wondering if he had listened, and nodded after a while.

Lu Jinsen has always known that Xie Zhitang has formed a complete three views, and also missed the best adjustment period of pro-teenage, it is not easy to change.

He can only change slowly and imperceptibly, and cannot straighten it forcefully.

Now that the words have been thought through clearly, it is his burden to say anything to Xie Zhitang.So Lu Jinsen let go of Xie Zhitang's hand, leaned back slightly and put a short distance away from Xie Zhitang, giving Xie Zhitang an independent space.

It was already full light, and the clouds were light and breezy.

Lu Jinsen turned his head and glanced out of the window, seeing that only the tops of the leaves were still shaking slightly in the emerald green bamboo forest, he turned his head and said to Xie Zhitang, "Let's tidy up and let's have breakfast, and I'll take you to play later."

Xie Zhitang still didn't speak, and slowly withdrew his hand and began to make a plate.

Seeing that Xie Zhitang's condition was not very good, Lu Jinsen suspected that he had done too much to correct Xie Zhitang's thinking just now, which made Xie Zhitang unable to accept or even reject him in a short time.

This is completely understandable, Lu Jinsen hesitated for a while, he was hesitating whether he should give Xie Zhitang enough space and time for him to digest slowly, or he should go up to accompany Xie Zhitang and give him a hug.

But before Lu Jinsen could figure it out, Xie Zhitang moved first.

Xie Zhitang raised his head and drank the cold water in one gulp, then smiled at Lu Jinsen without a smile on his face, and asked perfunctorily, "So...do you still like me?"

"Yes, I still like you." Lu Jinsen answered Xie Zhitang without thinking too much.

After finishing speaking, Lu Jinsen added: "I said it last night, Tangtang. What you said to me will only deepen my understanding of you, and will not affect my liking for you."

Xie Zhitang raised his head and finally showed a very happy smile to Lu Jinsen, his eyebrows and eyes were curved, and dimples were faintly visible around his mouth.

Lu Jinsen also stretched his eyebrows, walked in and stroked Xie Zhitang's chin and said, "Take your time, don't rush. Let's go eat first."

Xie Zhitang nodded, as if he had taken some kind of panacea, and slowly recovered from his last breath to a refreshed state, he lifted the quilt and got out of Lu Jinsen's bed.

Since I'm going out to play later, I definitely can't go in pajamas.Xie Zhitang quickly threw himself on Lu Jinsen and hugged him, then let go and shook hands with him and said, "I'm going to prepare!"

Lu Jinsen gradually became more proficient at receiving Xie Zhitang. Seeing that Xie Zhitang immediately regained his vitality, he guessed that Xie Zhitang had already figured out his problem, but simply put the conversation just behind his mind and didn't think about it.

Lu Jinsen also smiled lightly at Xie Zhitang, and said, "I'll wait for you outside in a while."

Xie Zhitang immediately nodded, turned around and trotted into the room.

Lu Jinsen changed his clothes and waited in front of the yard for a while, but Xu An did not wait for Xie Zhitang.

Xu An is well aware that his appearance is cute and small, so he always dresses up in a lively and cute way, and maximizes his strengths.

Xu An came to talk to Lu Jinsen about the hospital.

She had an impression of the hospital that Lu Jinsen mentioned to her yesterday, but she wasn't too impressed, so she went back and checked the information before coming to Lu Jinsen again.

The hospital does not borrow doctors, which is the best consideration for patients. Only in institutions can patients receive the most authoritative examination and personalized care.

Xu An has nothing to do with this, he can only contact the dean to ask for a place in the VIP ward, so that Xie Zhitang can come whenever and wherever he wants.

These were Xu An's original words, but Lu Jinsen sneered and said, "Who would want to go to the hospital anytime and anywhere?"

Xu An shrugged his shoulders and said with a smile: "That's not necessarily true. Ms. Zhuang spent hundreds of millions on decoration, and her service attitude is so welcoming that many people really linger."

Xie Zhitang saw Lu Jinsen standing in front of the courtyard gate from a distance, and beside him stood a female omega that only reached his chest. There was only one person's distance between them, and they were talking about something.

That omega is Lu Jinsen's sister, Xie Zhitang knows.She is gay, and Lu Jinsen is not in the range of her orientation, and Xie Zhitang knows it well.

But Xie Zhitang couldn't help but pursed his lips, watching Lu Jinsen talking to others unhappily.Lu Jinsen's words and actions have always given him a great sense of security, making him gradually indulge in Lu Jinsen's blue eyes.

At the same time, Xie Zhitang's possessiveness is also increasing.

In Xie Zhitang's eyes, love is not a pure and noble feeling.If it's just a unilateral liking, Xie Zhitang can still control his thoughts and behaviors very well, because he has no qualifications and no position to possess Lu Jinsen.

But they are in love, and once such a two-way relationship is established, Xie Zhitang can't control his own desire at all.

Lu Jinsen's tenderness is the best nutrient for Xie Zhitang's desire for monopoly, the more Xie Zhitang senses Lu Jinsen's liking for him, the more Xie Zhitang's desire for monopoly grows wildly.

Xie Zhitang immediately trotted over to Lu Jinsen, stuck between the two of them and threw himself into Lu Jinsen's arms, knocking Lu Jinsen slightly backwards before hugging Xie Zhitang.

Xie Zhitang rubbed against Lu Jinsen's arms carelessly, then raised his head and said coquettishly to Lu Jinsen as if no one else was there, "Did brother wait for me for a long time?"

The author has something to say: Today is so fat!

Do you like me to post more at once or update every day, but less?

(Thanks for catching bugs, I will pick a time to modify together.)

.感谢在2020-08-1723:57:22~2020-08-1923:30:48期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：楠祈20瓶；BeaLoity10瓶；长是倚风光8瓶；毛栗子、夜半花开3瓶；真的很难2瓶；馄饨一口一个1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!