Tagged post bipolar omega

Lu Jinsen frowned and looked at Xie Zhitang, suddenly raised his hand to cover Xie Zhitang's eyes and said, "Close your eyes, don't move." Then he raised his hand to wipe Xie Zhitang's overflowing tears.

Xie Zhitang also obediently let Lu Jinsen play with him, closing his eyes when told to close his eyes, and not moving when told not to move.

Xie Zhitang put his hands around Lu Jinsen's waist, gripping Lu Jinsen's coat at the back of his waist tightly, but Xie Zhitang's face was calm, as if he had let himself go.

Lu Jinsen stretched out his hand to help Xie Zhitang tidy up the broken hair, Xie Zhitang's face was still red, and he could feel the remaining heat on Xie Zhitang's face when he stretched out his hand.

Although Xie Zhitang closed his eyes, he accepted Lu Jinsen's touch very obediently and with attachment, as if he were two different people from his violent rejection just now.

Lu Jinsen couldn't help frowning.

He originally thought that Xie Zhitang refused to go any further and wanted to maintain the status quo because of his lack of security.

But Xie Zhitang still maintains great trust in him even when he closes his eyes, which is easy to make people feel insecure, so he let him touch him so meekly, without dodging.

This is completely inconsistent with Lu Jinsen's envisioned situation.

What is Xie Zhitang thinking?

If it wasn't because he didn't feel safe and worried about getting hurt, why did Xie Zhitang want to stop and refuse to listen to Lu Jinsen's expression?

Xie Zhitang stood in front of him, tilting his head obediently, as if he wanted to open his eyelashes and his eyelashes trembled slightly, but Lu Jinsen didn't speak, and Xie Zhitang didn't open them either.

Lu Jinsen couldn't figure out what Xie Zhitang was thinking.

What kind of feelings does Xie Zhitang have for him?

From Xie Zhitang's behavior, he could see that Xie Zhitang liked him, his eyes could speak, and he couldn't hide his liking.

But Xie Zhitang refused to listen to Lu Jinsen's attitude and thoughts towards him for the second time.

Xie Zhitang refused him like this, but also firmly grasped the hem of his clothes.

Lu Jinsen didn't understand, did Xie Zhitang want to push him away, or catch him?

This is so contradictory.

Lu Jinsen was silent for a few seconds, then adjusted Xie Zhitang's coat and hat before saying, "Okay."

Xie Zhitang opened his eyes again.

Xie Zhitang's eyes were still wet because he had just shed tears, and just looking at Lu Jinsen moistly like this, Lu Jinsen's heart softened again.

Lu Jinsen lowered his head and met Xie Zhitang's gaze, looked at his pitiful eyes and thought, forget it, Xie Zhitang is still a child, so wait a little longer.

Besides, Lu Jinsen was aware of Xie Zhitang's situation.Give him more time, take your time, Lu Jinsen thought.

Lu Jinsen can move mountains and fill seas and pave the way for him, but Xie Zhitang has to take that step by himself.

This step is irreplaceable by anyone.

Lu Jinsen patted Xie Zhitang on the head and said, "Since we don't want to go shopping, let's go back."

Walking back from the flower wall is a very long corridor, and behind the corridor is a pond.

Xie Zhitang nodded, followed Lu Jinsen step by step, and slowly took Lu Jinsen's hand.

Lu Jinsen put his hands by his side to hide for a while, but Xie Zhitang persevered and chased after him again.

Lu Jinsen didn't hide anymore, and was pulled by Xie Zhitang.

Even though Lu Jinsen was held by the hand, Lu Jinsen didn't respond, he still walked back slowly, Xie Zhitang stuck to his side and looked at him.

Xie Zhitang was always keenly aware of Lu Jinsen's emotions, but Xie Zhitang didn't know what to do.

After cautiously following for a while, Xie Zhitang said: "Death will not take away your lover, death will only keep them in the best time forever. Death is the salt of love, and survival will disintegrate love*."

Lu Jinsen was almost laughed at by Xie Zhitang, he finally turned his head to look at Xie Zhitang, and asked Xie Zhitang: "What kind of nonsense is this?"

Xie Zhitang blinked and defended: "This is not nonsense, it's what the French writer Mauriac said."

Lu Jinsen frowned and said to Xie Zhitang: "Death cannot make love last forever, this is wrong."

Xie Zhitang tilted his head, as if he couldn't understand, he looked at Lu Jinsen innocently.

Lu Jinsen said seriously: "The time of the dead is stagnant, but the time of the living is still going on."

"No matter how thick and colorful the love is, it will be diluted by time and finally buried." Lu Jinsen said: "From the moment you die, you are doomed to slowly lose the love of others as time goes by."

Xie Zhitang opened his eyes slightly when he heard the words, and looked at Lu Jinsen in disbelief.

He seemed to have just thought of such a point of view, and his world view was impacted by Lu Jinsen.

Xie Zhitang has read many literary works. Although the dead are dead, they live in the hearts of the living in another way. This love will last forever.

Memory will deify the dead, making him indelible, irreplaceable.

But Lu Jinsen said that when you die, all the love you got will start to slowly disappear.

Xie Zhitang was stunned for two seconds, but he frowned and smiled, "You used two idioms in a row."

he also like

Like Li Zhe, he was pleasantly surprised when Lu Jinsen used two idioms in a row.

Lu Jinsen was startled, then frowned again and looked at Xie Zhitang.

Xie Zhitang didn't seem to be listening to him seriously at all, he was seriously correcting Xie Zhitang's view of love, but Xie Zhitang focused on his use of idioms.

Xie Zhitang could see the change in Lu Jinsen's mood from the look in Lu Jinsen's eyes, he immediately restrained his smile, and said seriously, "But I...they are all like this?"

Lu Jinsen knew that it would not be easy to change Xie Zhitang's opinion, so he said patiently, "Let me tell you a story."

Xie Zhitang nodded immediately.

"My grandpa and grandma are in free love." Lu Jinsen said: "The grandma my grandpa pursued, he pursued for two years, then fell in love for two years, and then got married."

Xie Zhitang nodded slowly, his expression darkened, as if he had already guessed the result of the story Lu Jinsen was going to tell.

Lu Jinsen continued: "After my grandma gave birth to my father, she passed away unexpectedly within a few years."

"My grandfather misses him all by himself, and has never married again." Lu Jinsen changed his style of painting: "However, my grandfather has a new lover recently."

Xie Zhitang nodded again, only to hear Lu Jinsen slowly say: "From the moment grandma passed away, grandma has changed from an 'irreplaceable' person to a 'replaceable' person in Grandpa's heart."

Xie Zhitang lowered his head and looked at the ground, gently hooked Lu Jinsen's fingers into his fingers and interlocked Lu Jinsen's fingers, as if he wanted to draw some warmth from Lu Jinsen.

"Grandpa is a very dedicated person. If grandma is alive, I have no doubt that they will grow old together lovingly. But grandma passed away. From the day he passed away, this love has ended with the death of one party. "Lu Jinsen said: "Just like a marriage, when the spouse dies, the marriage relationship is automatically dissolved."

Lu Jinsen said calmly and steadily: "Death is not the salt of love, death makes love cease to exist."

Xie Zhitang was silent for a while and slowly nodded.

Lu Jinsen looked back at Xie Zhitang, thought for a while and said, "You should experience feelings yourself, not learn love from literature."

Xie Zhitang looked up at Lu Jinsen, and heard him say that it should not be the reason.

"Not to mention the love in literary works, they are all artistically processed and have no reference." Lu Jinsen said: "Everyone's love is different. There is no one who loves the standard love, who's love Love is not standard."

Lu Jinsen cast his eyes forward, then frowned slightly and said, "You should love with your heart."

Xie Zhitang was silent after listening, and suddenly asked again: "So love is two-way? One-way love will eventually disappear."

Lu Jinsen looked at Xie Zhitang again. Xie Zhitang was trying to understand Lu Jinsen's thinking by using his own thinking to match Lu Jinsen's words.

So Lu Jinsen said: "It can also be understood in this way."

Xie Zhitang blinked, digested Lu Jinsen's words for a while, then raised his head to look at Lu Jinsen and said, "Let me... take it easy."

Lu Jinsen said: "Okay." Then he stood in front of the fork in the road and asked him: "Should we go left or right?"

Xie Zhitang looked up at Lu Jinsen again, seeing that he was seriously asking where to go, he suddenly laughed and asked, "Brother, don't you know the way?"

Lu Jinsen nodded, and asked again naturally and generously: "Where should we go?"

Xie Zhitang's bad mood was calmed down immediately, he couldn't help but lowered his head and pursed his lips for a smile, then pointed to the road on the left and said, "Go here."

Lu Jinsen trusted Xie Zhitang's choice very much, and he didn't feel ashamed at all about asking the outsider who came to the house for the first time how to walk his own way, and walked on the left road calmly.

The road on the left is a covered bridge, crossing a pond of small size. There are some tender green lotus leaves in the pond, and the leaves are not big.

There were no lotus flowers in the pond, let alone lotus pods. Xie Zhitang led Lu Jinsen past, looked at the pond for a while, and suddenly turned around and asked Lu Jinsen, "When will the lotus bloom?"

Lu Jinsen glanced at the bottom of the pond and said, "June."

Xie Zhitang shook Lu Jinsen's hand and asked, "Can I see the lotus in June?"

Lu Jinsen naturally agreed, and after finishing speaking, he took another look at Xie Zhitang.

Since Xie Zhitang made this agreement with him, it means that Xie Zhitang has no intention of committing suicide in his plan before June.

It was Lu Jinsen's goal to let Xie Zhitang live in peace.But Xie Zhitang was still saying to him just now, "Death is the salt of love", which sounded like he was ready to die immediately.

Lu Jinsen was even ready to go back to the yard and seek a psychiatrist to consult on Xie Zhitang's behavior, but now Xie Zhitang changed his mind immediately in such a short period of time.

Lu Jinsen recalled Xie Zhitang's words again.

Maybe what Xie Zhitang said didn't mean that he wanted to use death as the salt of his love.Maybe Xie Zhitang just wanted to express such a concept to Lu Jinsen.

"His love needs salt to keep it alive, or it will disintegrate."

Lu Jinsen pondered for a while, did not ask Xie Zhitang again, and slowly followed Xie Zhitang on the road with many forks.

Xie Zhitang remembered the road accurately and quickly, and he could completely remember the winding road that he had only traveled once. Sure enough, he brought Lu Jinsen back to the yard without making any mistakes.

Xie Zhitang felt a little proud, as if he was proud that he could help Lu Jinsen, but after bringing Lu Jinsen into the yard, he suddenly became depressed.

He didn't want to be separated from Lu Jinsen.

So Xie Zhitang dawdled into the yard, and when he was about to step up the steps, he asked Lu Jinsen, "Brother, can I work with you?"

At the same time, Lu Jinsen's voice sounded: "Tangtang, are you... Lithromantic?"

The author has something to say: *The previous sentence was said by the French writer Mauriac.

(Add a comment.)

Lithromantic is an internet vocabulary, which has not been truly recognized by psychology. It is translated as sexual unrequited love, also known as avoidant attachment personality.

The following is from Baidu Toutiao:

Avoidant personality disorder

Avoidant personality disorder is a type of personality disorder characterized by comprehensive social inhibition, a sense of inadequacy, and extreme sensitivity to sex.

Due to the original family experience in childhood or the frequent reprimand and ridicule of parents, children will internalize this humiliating experience in the early stage of personality formation, forming a negative self-image, thinking that they are not worthy of being loved, and then not Believe that you will really get the love of others.

The combination of low self-worth and oversensitivity, and the fear of being rejected by others make avoidant attachment personality become "sexual unrequited love" in dealing with emotional issues, unable to establish emotional connections with others.

They enjoy fantasy, are insecure, and have strong personal boundaries.They avoid and defend themselves by interrupting the intimate relationship.

In other words, the essence of unrequited love is actually an avoidant attachment personality.

感谢在2020-08-0623:09:06~2020-08-0723:58:15期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel of the irrigation nutrient solution: 15 bottles of the fifth level; 5 bottles with the same name as cm;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!