Tagged post bipolar omega

Lu Jinsen turned his body away, looked down at Xie Zhitang and said, "I like it."

Xie Zhitang asked again: "Is it because children are the stabilizers of the family?"

Lu Jinsen frowned, and even Jiang Haichao, who was whispering to Xu Chu, secretly took a peek here.

Lu Jinsen knocked on his wine glass and asked, "What does the child have to do with the stabilizer?"

Xie Zhitang suddenly realized that he had said something wrong, immediately made amends, pretended to be relaxed and smiled: "My mother always said that she wanted to have another brother. She said that children are the stabilizers of the family, and families with children will be more stable."

Jiang Haichao let out a laugh and said, "What kind of thinking from the last century is this?"

Lu Jinsen didn't speak, as if he didn't care what Xie Zhitang said, and didn't believe Xie Zhitang's words at all, he clinked glasses with Xu Chuxu quietly.

Xie Zhitang quietly took a few deep breaths, opened the Yakult and took a sip, took the Yakult and said to Lu Jinsen, "Brother, I would like to respect you, thank you for taking care of me for so many days."

Lu Jinsen took the glass and touched Xie Zhitang very face-saving, drank the remaining half of the glass in one gulp, and said, "Be healthy and recover soon."

Xie Zhitang didn't know why he suddenly had another thought, and asked Lu Jinsen with a smile: "Brother, won't you get drunk after drinking so fast?"

Lu Jinsen leaned on the backrest and said lazily, "Sleep for a while when you're drunk."

Lao Zhang helped remove all the food on the table. When the sea breeze blew, the smell of fireworks scattered on the sea and disappeared without a trace.

Three people share a bottle of red wine, and one person only gets two glasses. Lu Jinsen said that he is barely drunk, let alone drunk.

But Xie Zhitang felt that Lu Jinsen was much more relaxed, leaning on the chair and basking in the sun with his eyes half down.

If Lu Jinsen's usual cheetah was shuttling through the jungle and ready to enter the state of predation at any time, now it is a big cat lying flat on a big rock lazily basking in the sun.

Xie Zhitang blushed slowly for some reason, raised his head and took a sip of Yakult.

Jiang Haichao and Xu Chu looked at the terminal and discussed something quietly, and then showed it to Lu Jinsen.Xie Zhitang looked at Lu Jinsen curiously, and Lu Jinsen waved to him and said, "It's a cat."

Xie Zhitang took a closer look, and there was a Norwegian Forest cat on the screen.

"What a cute cat." Xie Zhitang said.

Lu Jinsen returned the terminal to Jiang Haichao and said to Xie Zhitang, "Miaomiao likes cats very much."

Xie Zhitang nodded and smiled at Jiang Haichao.

Jiang Haichao said to him: "I raised a cat when I was a child, and it was a very cute puppet cat."

Xie Zhitang knew about this cat. He found out when he checked Lu Jinsen. This cat died a few years ago.So Xie Zhitang also said: "I also raised a dog when I was a child, it was an emotional comfort dog."

Jiang Haichao nodded, without asking about the dog's ending, he touched Xie Zhitang with a cup and asked, "Do you want to raise another dog?"

Xie Zhitang shook his head and said, "No more."

Jiang Haichao shrugged his shoulders very understandingly and said, "It's better not to raise it, so as not to be sad again."

Upon hearing this, Lu Jinsen asked, "Then why do you still want to raise it?"

Jiang Haichao responded quickly: "You can't refuse to plant flowers because you are afraid of the flowers dying, and you can't refuse the beginning of everything because you are afraid of the end.*"

Lu Jinsen nodded with a chuckle, but Xie Zhitang did not speak, and slowly withdrew from the topic, only staring at the distant waves on the sea in a daze.

Lu Jinsen thought that Xie Zhitang was depressed because he mentioned his former pet, and he wanted to calm him down, so he didn't talk to him, leaving him in a daze.

The fun of fishing isn't all about fishing.

Staying away from the crowd, throwing away everything in the mundane world, and losing contact with the world, for these CEOs and celebrities who are under a lot of responsibility pressure, it is a relaxed way of "stealing a half-day leisure". .

Lu Jinsen blew the sea breeze for a while, and the crisp sound of the bell broke the leisurely time. Lu Jin quickly got up to finish the pole. Xie Zhitang was also awakened by the sound of the bell, and followed Lu Jinsen to trot to the side of the fishing rod, watching Lu Jinsen draw the net.

Xie Zhitang thought a lot just now.

I think of the comfort dog I raised when I was a child, the layers of fabrics and lanterns in the studio, the purple grapes on the plate, and the chocolates in the drawer.

Xie Zhitang just thought about it without any emotion, but suddenly felt tired.

So he thought of the statues he smashed, the bookcases that were split, the flowerpots that were broken and the fish tanks that were smashed.

In the memory of the small fish that were constantly struggling due to lack of oxygen on the messy ground and the big fish that Lu Jinsen caught from the sea gradually blurred and overlapped, Xie Zhitang unconsciously slowed down his breathing, and his nerves gradually became tense.

But Xie Zhitang's emotions hadn't accumulated before he was disturbed by Lu Jinsen in the middle, Lu Jinsen cut the fishing line and raised his head and said to Xie Zhitang: "Can you help me get the net bag?"

Xie Zhitang nodded immediately after being stunned, and Lu Jinsen asked again: "Do you know where it is?"

Xie Zhitang nodded again, ran to the stern of the boat, and ran back with a red net bag.

He looked at Lu Jinsen brightly.

Lu Jinsen praised Xie Zhitang first, then put the fish into the net bag, and then took a needle from the storage box to deflate the fish.

This fish is not too long, it is oval and not very good-looking. Xie Zhitang squatted for a while and looked up to Lu Jinsen and said, "This fish is so ugly."

Lu Jinsen nodded and said, "Most deep-sea fish don't look very good."

Xie Zhitang thought for a while and asked: "Is it because there is no light in the deep sea? Creatures on the bottom of the sea can't see what each other looks like, so it doesn't matter how long it is?"

"...What you said makes sense." Lu Jinsen thought for a while and said, "Unlike birds, deep-sea fish rely on bright and conspicuous feathers to attract females, so it doesn't matter if they grow up like this."

Xie Zhitang nodded, and Lu Jinsen continued: "Deep-sea fish grow like this to resist pressure. They don't pursue speed, so they don't need to be streamlined. Big eyes and big mouths are necessary for survival. Food is found in the dark seabed, and the big mouth can increase the chance of catching food."

Xie Zhitang sighed lightly and said, "It's really hard to survive."

Lu Jinsen continued: "May there be no hooks in heaven."

The sadness that Xie Zhitang had just raised was immediately shattered by Lu Jinsen's words. Xie Zhitang couldn't help laughing, and followed Jiang Haichao's example and pulled the net bag to the stern, trying to hang it on the stern.

For the sake of safety, Lu Jinsen followed Xie Zhitang to the stern, helped him put the fish into the sea, fixed the net bag and led him back to the deck.

When Lu Jinsen and Xie Zhitang came to the deck, they found that Jiang Haichao and the others had entered the cabin at some point, leaving only a few empty wine glasses on the table, and the rest had already finished their lunch and left the deck.

Now there are only two people left on the deck, Lu Jinsen and Xie Zhitang.

The winter sun is only warm even in the afternoon, and the sea breeze blows softly. After smelling the fishy smell of the sea for a long time, I gradually get used to it.The deck was empty and quiet, Xie Zhitang suddenly seemed to be knocked in the ear by a bronze bell, and couldn't help shaking.

like a date.

Xie Zhitang didn't know why he had such an idea, and then he became firm in his desire to get Lu Jinsen.

Xie Zhitang secretly watched Lu Jinsen's side face, watching Lu Jinsen look down at the sea.

Lu Jinsen in sportswear is not as serious and calm as when he is wearing a suit. Perhaps it is because of the relaxed and cheerful background color brought by the sportswear. Lu Jinsen looks much younger, like a person who bumped into him in the corner of the teaching building when he was in college. A high-cold school grass who smokes.

Xie Zhitang's heartbeat suddenly accelerated, and a strange emotion flowed from the bottom of his heart to his limbs.Xie Zhitang couldn't help but raise the corners of his mouth, thinking to himself, don't worry, I will definitely control myself and protect you, I won't break you.

Xie Zhitang subconsciously ignored Lu Jinsen's thoughts.

In other words, Xie Zhitang knew that he could not give Lu Jinsen the stable and warm future he had planned, but the idea of ​​wanting to get Lu Jinsen occupied his mind, so he subconsciously chose to escape.

The ao-connected rescue relationship between them finally had the desired effect, and Xie Zhitang's desire to survive had a qualitative leap at this moment.

It was like returning to the time when Xie Zhitang just went to the doctor, Xie Zhitang had new expectations and goals for the future.

Just as Lu Jinsen thinks, it is extremely absurd for a person to use another person as a rope and rashly decide his own life and death because of another person.

Every healthy adult should have a complete and sound three views, use oneself as a cable, and be able to face difficulties bravely instead of escaping with death.

I can go all out to pursue my ideals, but I will not easily choose to end my life just because I failed to pursue my dreams.Be able to endure the coming of disease and suffering, and will not give up hope of life because of suffering.

But Xie Zhitang is not a healthy adult.

Before, Xie Zhitang thought that the pain he endured was greater than his yearning and hope for tomorrow, so he chose to commit suicide.

Now thanks to Lu Jinsen's blessing, Xie Zhitang's yearning and hope for tomorrow is greater than the pain he has endured, so he chooses to endure the pain and live.

Such choices, logic, and ideas are irrational and crazy, but this is Xie Zhitang.

Xie Zhitang's change is really obvious, not only his attitude towards Lu Jinsen is quite strange, but also his way of dealing with people and things has changed a lot.

Xie Zhitang used to only look at himself, so he subconsciously ignored many people around him.

Lu Jinsen knew that Xie Zhitang didn't take other people seriously because he was too proud, but because of bipolar disorder, he subconsciously ignored some people and voices, and even the world shrank into a small piece in front of him.

But now the glass cover wrapped around Xie Zhitang's body gradually became thinner and transparent, and the world suddenly became clearer.

The closer to Lu Jinsen, the thinner the glass cover, Xie Zhitang's world is no longer the fake things simulated by closing his eyes, but a real, vivid, and accessible world.

But far away from Lu Jinsen, Xie Zhitang seemed to be sealed back by glass, and the world was still gray and tasteless.

Lu Jinsen naturally noticed Xie Zhitang's strange change, but he recalled it several times but he didn't realize where the opportunity for Xie Zhitang's change was.

Did he do something to make Xie Zhitang think that he needs someone to take care of him?Lu Jinsen frowned, staring at the fish in the bowl in thought.

Xie Zhitang looked at Lu Jinsen with his head tilted, as if he was waiting for Lu Jinsen to give him feedback after eating the fish.

This happened frequently at dinner.

Xie Zhitang tasted the delicious soup, so he served Lu Jinsen a bowl.Xie Zhitang ate delicious fish, so he picked a piece for Lu Jinsen.Even Lu Jinsen's wine glass was empty and Xie Zhitang would find out in time and fill it up for him immediately.

Not to mention Lu Jinsen, even Jiang Haichao and Xu Chu who were sitting across from each other stared at Lu Jinsen with unbelievable expressions. Jiang Haichao raised his eyebrows and asked Lu Jinsen what was going on with his eyes.

Lu Jinsen also felt strange, here Lu Jinsen and Xie Zhitang are the most familiar, so they came to ask Lu Jinsen what happened to Xie Zhitang's change.But Lu Jinsen couldn't understand Xie Zhitang's logic and ideas well.

Because Xie Zhitang's behavior was so strange, Lu Jinsen couldn't help worrying that rejecting Xie Zhitang's kindness would irritate Xie Zhitang, so he patiently endured it for a while, seeing that Xie Zhitang not only didn't stop, but also seemed to be getting worse, he finally couldn't help it.

Lu Jinsen put down his chopsticks, looked directly at Xie Zhitang's expectant eyes and asked, "What are you doing?"

作者有话要说：*号前江海潮说的那句"不能因为害怕花谢而拒绝种花啊，不能因为害怕结束就拒绝一切开始。"梗是顾城的《避免。》感谢在2020-07-1323:39:22~2020-07-1523:58:50期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who irrigated the nutrient solution: the fifth level, 10 bottles of black tea; it was really difficult, and Qingxing did not drink 3 bottles of sake;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!