Anecdotes about me and the civil servants of Hades

It was already five o'clock when I got home, and Jiang Yu was so tired that he was dying after experiencing the chicken and dog jumping.Regardless of whether the body was clean or not, the blood on the face was not wiped, and fell asleep on the bed.The alarm clock rang at seven o'clock.

He frowned, reluctantly but had to get up from the bed with difficulty, the sun shone into the ripped collar, and the collarbone protruded with the movement of getting up, like a white pigeon with wings ready to fly, between the collarbone On the body, those fingerprints had turned purple after a night of fermentation, scattered on the slender neck, with a bit of abusive beauty.

He closed his eyes and touched the closet, opened the closet door, took the clothes, and then walked to the bathroom. It was a stunt developed over the years, and he didn't hit the wall without opening his eyes.

The off-white sweater experienced vomiting, pulling, rubbing, and blood staining from the corpse last night. Jiang Yu tore it off and threw it aside, but he didn't feel bad.

The event discounted 99 yuan for three pieces, and he stacked a dozen in the cabinet.

The emaciated body was exposed to the air, and the chest was stained with blood due to the pressure of the carrion, and turned black after drying.

This is nothing.

There were slight abrasions on the palm-sized bruise on the back.

Also okay.

The shower head turned on without warning, and the warm water rushed down and meandered over the body, and those potentially invisible wounds began to hurt.

"Tsk tsk tsk..." Suddenly, an ethereal male voice appeared in the empty bathroom, and the listeners scratched their heads.

"What exactly did you do last night?"

Jiang Yu closed his eyes, and there was laziness in his sleepy voice. "Fatty man, peeking at your father taking a bath again."

"Come on." A bloodless human face emerged on the mirror, lips opened and closed, and a man's voice came out just now. "Look at your body injury, and your neck. Didn't you say that you are clean and self-sufficient, and you don't sell yourself as a performer?"

Jiang Yu picked up the soap from the shelf and threw it at it, leaving a mark on the glass.

The man moved his face to avoid the stain, and said with some disgust, "It's really dirty."

Turning off the shower head, Jiang Yu stopped suddenly when he was taking the towel. "Are there any serious ghost hunters now?"

Chu Yunfei jumped out of the mirror in shock from his thoughtless words!

"You you you you!" Pointing at Jiang Yu with a heartbroken expression on his face. "You cross the river and demolish the bridge, you unload the mill and kill the donkey! Who helped you haunt the ghosts and lower the rent back then? Without me, how could you live in such a spacious and cheap big house! Why don't you burn incense? Now I don't need me, just Except for your grandpa, let me tell you, I am not a vegetarian, I have a bad temper, I will cause trouble, I..."

Jiang Yu rolled his eyes, and stopped his beeping with one sentence. "Are you a bridge or a donkey?"

Chu Yunfei: "..."

"Where do you want to go?"

While wiping his body, he briefly explained what happened last night.

"That's it." Chu Yunfei calmed down and floated leisurely in the air. "It's normal for you to see these things with yin and yang eyes, and you should try to come back as soon as possible in the future..."

Jiang Yu smiled wryly. "What do I earn when I come back early? The three of us face the southeast and drink the northwest wind together?"

Chu Yunfei scratched his head and did not speak. He has been dead for hundreds of years, and he has no idea about the northwest wind, nor about making money.

In his eyes, the price of two cabbages for one copper coin was still in his eyes. When Jiang Yu showed him Nongfu Spring for the first time, the guy stared and asked: Why does this water cost money?Can you fly up if you drink it?

Jiang Yu buttoned his shirt. "What's the origin of that man last night?"

The white-haired Neptune last night, although he looked strange, was indeed a master.Over the years, because everyone is a ghost, he has come into contact with a lot of dance masters, and nine out of ten are liars. This is the first time he has encountered such a real person.

Chu Yunfei floated in the air with Erlang's legs crossed, and said, "According to what you said, with white hair and a 20-year-old appearance, he should be from the Bai family."

Jiang Yu didn't know what he was talking about. "how do you know?"

"Cut." Chu Yunfei glanced at him with the look of looking at a bumpkin. "Human and ghost worlds, who doesn't know the Bai family."

Jiang Yu looked at him with a motherly smile.

Chu Yunfei said: "I mean the Dao Realm and the Underworld."

Jiang Yu waved his trousers and said impatiently, "Speak human."

Chu Yunfei said: "The Bai family has been prominent in the lineage of warlocks for hundreds of years. You know that most ordinary people live no more than a hundred years, and those who practice Taoism live longer, but the people of the Bai family have an unlimited lifespan. Especially Patriarch of the Bai family, no one knows how old he is, maybe hundreds of years old, or thousands of years old."

"Why?" Jiang Yu asked, "Yan Wang is his father?"

Chu Yunfei ignored his joke, drifted over, and said mysteriously: "I heard that the Bai family has a contract with Huang Quan."

"What contract?"

Chu Yunfei was helpless: "I don't know, I'm just a brat!"

"Cut." Jiang Yu didn't answer any more, and stretched out the belt from the pair of trousers last night, put it into the trouser eye and tied it.

These things are purely gossip, they can only be used for chatting to relieve boredom, they are of no help to making money in life, so I am too lazy to inquire about them.Opening the door and going out, he suddenly remembered something, stopped, turned around, and smiled meaningfully at Chu Yunfei. "Qiqi will come back this afternoon, you understand."

As if enlightened, Chu Yunfei immediately stood at attention in the air, and quickly said, "Understood!"

After sending Jiang Yu away, he pulled the heavy blackout curtains tightly.Then he put on his apron and cleaning hat, fluttered and started to get busy, happily humming a ditty he made up--the song of ghost cleaning.

"Oh, it's so fun to raise a little ghost~" Jiang Yu picked up the clothes, socks, umbrellas, hats, watches, necklaces, and even the props and dentures that Jiang Yu had thrown on the ground one by one. Huo didn't dare to pierce his ears because he was afraid of the pain, so he bought Niangbujiu's ear clips at a ten yuan store temporarily.

"Clean and in good health~ in good health~" Chu Yunfei made full use of his floating nature, and the whole family cheered. "Clean up the living room first~ and then clean up the bathroom~ It's so fun to move quickly~~~~~~"

Jiang Yu stepped on the bell to enter the door, and hurriedly found a seat in the back row and sat down.

Since he came in, a lot of eyes fell on him, not because he was often late, but because—the third prince Lan Da.

The first time I came across this post on Tieba, Jiang Yu laughed and complained to Chu Yunfei while holding up his mobile phone to the title of the second grade that was about to overflow the screen: "Hahahahahahahaha, what kind of inferior Mary Su fantasy novel is this? , Don’t this group of people keep pace with the times? Now they are all loved by the prostitutes of the Hou family, the domineering prince fell in love with me, the romantic emperor and his little wife, and return to the prince, hahahahahahahahaha.”

Chu Yunfei: "How do you know so much?"

Jiang Yu couldn't believe it: "Don't you read the advertisements when you read the posts?" The reason why he can read countless topics is due to the ubiquitous book advertisements nowadays.

"Forget it, you don't surf." Xizizi clicked in. "Let me see which three unlucky guys in our school can like to mention this bloody name."

In the next moment, the smile froze on his face. Among the three unlucky people selected by the bird screen, Jiang Yu's name bore the brunt of the votes, and even outscored the other two by three or four times.

Chu Yunfei: "Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, Prince Jiang, keep laughing, hahahahahaha."

why!

Angrily, Jiang Yu clicked on his column, which read: "The bridge of the nose is high and straight, the lip line is clear and soft, soft but not feminine, always with a faint smile. The corners of the eyes are slender and upturned, charming and soft Not demonic. When the eyelashes flutter down, there is a kind of laziness. Now people like to keep cats, but he is like a transformed cat, with a kind of noble laziness."

Seeing that his votes were still rising, he decided to stand up and set things right, putting on his vest and using his trumpet to comment below. "No, he's not. He just stays up late at night and can't wake up during the day. This person is lazy, the house is very dirty, and he goes to bed without taking a shower..."

As a result, a group of supporters frantically responded, saying that he was jealous, that he was a loser who deliberately smeared him with dissatisfaction, and even wanted to pick him up.

Prince Jiang Yu, holding his mobile phone in a silent late night, was besieged frantically by his fans, wanting to cry without tears.

Jiang Yu likes Tuesday the most, which is today, because the day is full of Marxism-Leninism classes. The old professor is old, and his speech is faint without the slightest cadence. It seems to be lecturing. It is the most sleep aid. Dream.

The bell after class was like a chiseled pot. I don’t know which teacher chose it. The power of disturbing sleep is very good. Jiang Yu frowned, rubbed the itchy hair on his forehead, dazedly took out the cup from the bag, opened it and drank it. I took two sips of water.

I don't know when a little girl sat next to her. She was wearing a bright red dress and was eating an apple slowly.

Looking at the bright red peel wrapped in white flesh, and remembering the half-faced carrion last night, my stomach churned.

The girl noticed his gaze, turned her head a little dullly, her eyes met, the hand holding the apple and the chewing movement in her mouth stopped, and a pair of round eyes stared straight at him.

Jiang Yu knew it was because of his cheap face, so he smiled back generously, and his eyes were attracted by the black diamond-encrusted camellia hairpin on the girl's forehead. "You are good at issuing cards, where did you buy them?"

It can be called a straight man's awkward chat at the textbook level.