The sun and the moon are affectionate

In the cold moon room.

"Leng Yue, your situation yesterday was too dangerous, do you really want to continue?" asked tomorrow.

Leng Yue nodded and said, "Tomorrow, yesterday you said something that woke me up and made me see something deeper."

"Which sentence? What is something deeper?" Tomorrow was puzzled.

"Yesterday you asked me why I must hold on to past mistakes and make myself regret and blame myself." Leng Yue said.

"Then you already have the answer in your heart?" asked tomorrow.

Leng Yue nodded.

"your anwsrs is?"

"There are two reasons, the first reason is my mother." Leng Yue said.

"Your mother?" said tomorrow.

Leng Yue nodded and said: "My mother told me since I was a child that the most important thing for a woman is her reputation, and those women who destroy their reputation will only be cast aside no matter how good a man they meet. I... I I'm sorry for her teachings for more than 20 years."

"I understand," said Tomorrow, "but all of this is in the past."

"Tomorrow, don't you really mind?" Leng Yue put her hand on tomorrow's chest, "Really don't mind? Not at all? Are you sure?"

Tomorrow held Leng Yue's hand and said: "It's not that I don't mind at all, but that people are not sages and sages can do nothing. It's useless to think about what has happened. What's more, you are not a casual person. I believe these things There must be something hidden behind the matter."

"This is the second reason, and what I said yesterday, is the darkest side of my heart." Leng Yue said.

"The darkest side of the heart?" Tomorrow was puzzled.

"Do you know why I have to continue with Xiaoyan after being wronged?" Leng Yue asked.

Shaking my head tomorrow I don't know.

"Because I feel that once I leave Xiaoyan, no man will want me anymore." Leng Yue said, "And the saddest thing is that I didn't stay with him because I liked him, I was with him because Fear: Fear of being alone, afraid of losing, afraid of not having love. Although Xiaoyan is self-willed and ignorant, he is the only one who stays with me. At the beginning I disagree, and he quarrels with me every day. I really want to I broke up, but I couldn’t be ruthless. Because I was afraid, afraid of being bullied, and afraid of being alone. Although Xiaoyan didn’t help me, and often made me feel very painful, I just felt that he was there, and I felt more at ease. So , I finally agreed, just to satisfy him, it has nothing to do with love, nothing to do with love. I was like a beggar, begging for his care and company, so when we separated, I thought in my heart that I would rather not marry for the rest of my life Don't live like that again. You say I'm not a casual person, but I think I'm too casual. A woman like me, what qualifications do I have to ask for a real relationship? "

"No one blames you, it's you who refuse to forgive yourself." Ming Ming said.

"Heh," Leng Yue laughed self-deprecatingly, "Don't you think I'm cheap? Can you forgive my absurdity?"

Shaking his head tomorrow, he said, "It's not cheap, it's about you at that time. Under the circumstances at that time, there was no other choice."

"So what! No one forced me with a knife. It's my self-destruction and self-inflicted punishment." Leng Yue said.

Tomorrow's face suddenly darkened, and he said in a low voice: "You blame yourself too much. You are here today, you can rest."

Say it tomorrow, get up and walk out of the room, closing the door.Leng Yue smiled wryly and shook her head.

"Hehe...you still say you don't mind? I myself care a lot, how could you not mind? Well, anyway, you and I have no future, so it's better to end here. You don't have to worry about me anymore, and I...hehe... Hehe..." Leng Yue bit her lower lip and tightly closed her eyes.

Tears poured out uncontrollably.

Sitting in front of the window tomorrow, my heart is in a mess.

"In the past, I fell in love with Miss Shangguan bitterly, and I only saw her frown and smile in my eyes; now, I am in love with Leng Yue, but it has caused so many troubles. Is love really so difficult? If I and her are just as good as before... It would be nice to be so innocent when we met." Ming Ri murmured.

"Really?" At some point, Nongyue was already standing outside the window, looking at him with a smile, waving her fan.

"Young Master Yue, tomorrow's heart is very confused." Said tomorrow.

"Since ancient times, chivalrous women have come out of prostitution," Nong Yue swayed her fan, "If a prostitute is affectionate and righteous, she is still respected by others, let alone Leng Yue is not a prostitute. Sai Hua Tuo, your feelings for her are so real." Vulnerable?"

"I..." Tomorrow's voice paused, then he lowered his head and said, "So it was you."

Nongyue smiled, and continued: "That's right, it was me. Nongyue has never seen anyone who dared to dissect the deepest thoughts in his heart so frankly. It is better for a person to admit that he did something wrong than to admit that he committed suicide." It's even more difficult. The reason why Leng Yue is today is because she cares too much about other people's feelings. At the beginning, if she didn't care about that person's feelings, she believed that no one could take her away; but now, if she doesn't care about your feelings, How can I say such heartfelt words to you?"

Tomorrow nodded thoughtfully.

"The darkest side of your heart, don't you have it? Don't I? Sai Huatuo, I don't care what you think, in Nongyue's mind, Lengyue is pure and pure, and her exquisite heart is even more so. She is dazzling. If you have a grudge, you might as well just give up on her. Nongyue says goodbye."

Nongyue walked away waving her fan, stroking a lock of long hair next to her ear tomorrow, lost in thought.

Leng Yue looked at herself in the mirror with tears in her eyes.Turning around and leaving tomorrow was like pouring a basin of cold water on her head, making her feel sober like never before.

Leng Yue finally admitted that she was just begging for love, she was just afraid of losing, and she was just exchanging her self-esteem for other people's attention.Whether it's Xiaoyan or Tomorrow, it's just a mirror that reflects the lack in her heart so clearly.For that illusory sense of security, she humbled, compromised, tried, and worried about gain and loss without limit.She has not yet healed from past hurts, nor is she ready for new relationships.That being the case, what qualifications does she have to expect others to accept everything that she herself cannot accept?

"Forget it, forget it, everything is just self-deception. Leng Yue, Leng Yue, you can just take care of yourself. For other things, just follow fate."

Although she said so, the grievance in her heart still overwhelmed her vision.

"Dangdangdang" came a knock on the door.

Leng Yue adjusted her mood and said softly, "Please come in."

Pushing open the door tomorrow, Leng Yue smiled unnaturally and said, "I'm fine, you don't have to worry."

"Yue'er..." said tomorrow.

"Call me Leng Yue." Leng Yue turned around and said.

Tomorrow walked to Leng Yue's side and held Leng Yue's little hand. Leng Yue trembled and wanted to pull it back, but was held tightly by tomorrow.

"You...?" Leng Yue looked at tomorrow in panic.

"Leng Yue, I'm sorry," said tomorrow, "you have suffered."

"This is my business and has nothing to do with you." Leng Yue said with her head down.

"I just want to ask you a few questions, and I'll leave when I'm done," said tomorrow.

"What's the problem?" Leng Yue said.

"A person who makes a mistake can never start over?" asked Tomorrow.

"Of course not. Knowing your mistakes can make a big difference." Leng Yue replied.

"What if you made a terrible mistake? For example, you killed someone." Asked tomorrow.

"Put down the butcher's knife and become a Buddha immediately." Leng Yue replied.

"What if she made a mistake out of helplessness?" asked tomorrow.

"Then forgive that helpless self and start over." Leng Yue replied.

"What if she is a courtesan?" asked tomorrow.

"Prostitutes are also human, if she really repents, she can still start over." Leng Yue replied.

"Since prostitutes can start over, why can't you start over?" asked tomorrow.

"...Are you going around me?..." Leng Yue lowered her head with some resistance.

"Leng Yue, look at me," said tomorrow.

Leng Yue raised her head unnaturally, looking into tomorrow's eyes.

Tomorrow continued: "I did find it difficult to accept your past for a moment, but no matter what happened, you are still a cold moon, which will never change. Even if you are confused for a while, so what, even if you and Xiaoyan really So what if you are in love with each other? If you were confused for a moment, now you are strong and wise, and you are no longer the Leng Yue at the beginning, and you will definitely not make mistakes again; if you love Xiaoyan, then everything you give is for love , is to be loyal to one's feelings, so what's wrong with that?"

"I……"

"Leng Yue, in fact, you understand everything, but it's hard to let go of it for a while when it happened to you. Didn't you say that what happened is just what happened, and your view on it is another time something?"

Tomorrow's eyes are powerfully persuasive, gentle and reassuring.

"You're right," said Leng Yue, "it has nothing to do with you or others, it's me who can't forgive myself."

"Take your time," Ming Ri patted Leng Yue's little hand and said, "I will accompany you."

Leng Yue's stiff body trembled, she turned her face to one side, and bit her lips tightly.

Smiling tomorrow, he put Leng Yue's hand on his chest.Leng Yue felt tomorrow's beating heart, it was so powerful and firm.

Leng Yue's tense body gradually softened, and tears flowed down slowly.

"Thank you," she said.

volume four eventful autumn