[Tutorial] Sense and Sensibility

There is no light in his world.

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He was born in a remote poor town in Thailand, where people live a messy and messy life, laughing at the poor but not laughing at the prostitutes.Therefore, his mother is a local prostitute as a matter of course, and in that chaotic area, he also has no father as a matter of course, or what he said

His father was just one of his mother's many prostitutes.

His mother has black hair and brown eyes, and is also a well-known beauty in the local area. Many prostitutes come here for her name. The dirty little house of the mother is full of men's dirty body odor, and his father is said to be a down-and-out British Gold digging bum, wandering in Thailand, then came

He got to know his mother here, and then disappeared after a night of romance.And that night, there was another him in this world.

In such a dirty and remote village, women cannot have abortions after pregnancy. Firstly, there is no money to pay for the expenses. Secondly, the clinics here do not have professional equipment at all, so they can only rely on drugs to abort. The process of medical abortion is extremely painful, and some people even

Losing his life because of it, his mother was more inclined to give birth to this doomed fatherless child than a painful miscarriage.Then, he was born.

Different from his mother's black hair and brown eyes, he inherited powerful genes from his father, with blond hair and golden eyes... In this remote village in Thailand where women favor men, his mother decided to let him survive, for which he was grateful.

In order to support the family, the mother continued to sell meat for dirty men. Two years later, the mother became pregnant again, and this time she gave birth to a younger sister... The mother was very happy. She said that when the younger sister grew up, she could help her share some of the men's burden. Desire/desire, so that she doesn't have to work so hard.That year, when he was two years old, he still couldn't understand what his mother meant. He was simply afraid of all kinds of men coming in and out of the house... and also afraid of nights full of rude roars and crazy moans. These were all his wordless nightmares.

When he was six years old, his mother gave birth to a younger sister again for him, and he, as the only boy with blond hair and golden eyes in the village, also ushered in the most desperate year.

Beautiful creatures are always coveted by beasts, and delicate little boys will not be let go in the backcountry where women are scarce... That year, he finally understood why his mother would let her be in such poverty. Boy he survived.

……

"Nava, you are my little heart..."

"Hahahahaha, Nava, you are really that bitch's little pet..."

"Living gem..."

……

The man's deformed desire/desire and his mother's distorted smiling face became his lifelong nightmare, and the clip-like cuts made him wake up in the middle of the night countless times, with palpitations and cold sweats.

Due to the unrestrained abuse by men, his body was inflamed all the year round, and even festered... He still doesn't know how he spent those dirty two years, but it was only a few years later that he realized all this The pain of forbearance and collapse are only

It was to welcome the chance encounter with that person.

Two years later, a strange man gave his mother 1000 baht and asked to buy him. The mother excitedly held the baht, her brown eyes were full of paranoid joy... Before that, he felt that he hated his mother. A night of torment and mutilation he

He thought about leaving here and never coming back, but when he was about to be taken away, he realized that he was still just a child after all...a child who was attached to the warmth of his mother.He was crying loudly, hugging the dilapidated door of his house and refused to let go, and a few people dressed neatly

The tall man stepped forward and opened his short and slender fingers one by one, like a glass phantom that shattered his last ray of hope. He watched his sister weeping at a loss with tears in his eyes, and watched his mother focus on the baht. His distorted face... his heart was ashamed, but

Desperate cries resounded through the heavens and the earth.

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A strange man brought him to Pattaya, healed his eczema, fed him clean food, gave him a fragrant rose bath, and put him in beautiful and comfortable clothes... Look at it He changed his face, the strange man's narrow eyes flashed

Feeling extremely excited, fat fingers tremblingly caressed the upper fair cheek, excitedly said: "It's really... a living gem... a rare living gem in a thousand years!"

This familiar address made him scared... Although this man didn't do anything to him, he just let him have a good rest.

With a lot of doubts in his heart, he settled down in the luxurious big house uneasy... Thinking of the prosperity and luxury he saw these two days, which was different from the past, he had a very unreal feeling... He thought he was going to be depraved Into a deeper hell, but now... this is "Heaven

hall?

The pain of losing his mother gradually subsided, he just knew that he had to continue to live.

Two days later, the man brought him to the school and asked him to study hard with the teacher. He nodded ignorantly... He had never received any education, and he was a little nervous. Fortunately, the students here were all about his age. Although the attitude towards him can't be said to be very enthusiastic, it's not bad...Everyone here seems to have their own story.

There are almost no girls in this school with few people. Occasionally, he thought it was a girl, but later found out that it was just a more delicate boy... The boys here lack a masculinity, and they have a kind of masculinity. Feminine and weird.

He who is ignorant, does not know at this moment that a huge upheaval is approaching him... His life is about to lose its direction completely.

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Many years later, when he saw a movie called "Farewell My Concubine" by chance, the familiar but unfamiliar sense of despair swept over again. He could no longer cry.

Lacrimal glands are dry.

Xiaodouzi's helpless and stubborn desolation, and the trembling and insisting sentence: "I am a man, not a girl", isn't it a true portrayal of him?

Unlike those ignorant kids who started taking hormones at age three, he was told at age eight—an age when gender awareness had already been established: “You’re going to be genderless.” The unknown distortion terrified him, he's crazy like trying to escape

This deformed world... However, it turns out that there are no doors or windows in this world.

Xiaodouzi finally hurt his mouth with Xiaoshi's almost "rape" intention, and finally said "I am a girl, not a man"...Since then, Xiaodouzi has been died, only Cheng Dieyi was left.And he, again and again

After being beaten and humiliated, she was overwhelmed and became one of the many "female girls". Since then, Nava has died...the only thing left is "living gems".

It was a life like a walking corpse... He has been at the bottom for too long, and he understands better than anyone else that this world will not pity you just because you are pitiful, let alone give you a little charity... If If you want to be famous in front of others, you must suffer first.he knows from

He is humble, but he is not willing to become the lowest doll of human beings until his death, so he is determined to go upstream and use his "advantage" to fight for the bargaining chip of freedom. Finally... after all the vicissitudes, he stood in Pattaya At the highest point, it has become a peerless

"Ploy".At that time, he, oh no... Maybe it should be called "it". He already had money, beauty, and compliments from his peers, but he sadly didn't have everything that belonged to him.

"It" has everything and still has nothing.

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Tatana, who had a good relationship with "It", was bought by an American. Before leaving, Tatana happily told "It" that the American was willing to pay for Tatana to have a complete sex change operation... Watch Tatana's shining eyes, "it" feels sad for no reason

Compassion... This is their life, it has nothing to do with principles, they just want to live a stable life.

After Tatana left, "it" took the lead and shouldered the fate of the entire dance troupe. In a way, the nature of the dance troupe is similar to that of a kiln, that is, you can watch beautiful ladyboy performances, You can also invite ladyboys to your room to have a good night at night——Ex

The point is that you must have enough money.Since "It" is the top "Ploy" of the dance troupe, the price to be accompanied by "It" is surprisingly high, and most of the people who come to enjoy the singing and dancing are just curious tourists from various countries who have never seen ladyboys, the real rich people Not many, also because

This "it" does not need to accompany guests frequently.

That is, during that period of hesitation, "it" met that person.The first encounter with that person is like the plot of all romantic dramas, with a trace of romance imagined by "it" later, it is unstoppable... "it" cannot be forgotten at all.

It was a summer night. Pattaya was always full of tourists during the peak tourist season. As the main actor, "It" could hardly sleep at night, and the performance list was full of "It"'s entire holiday.During the intermission, "it" came to the bathroom to touch up makeup-since hair

There is a makeup artist who was instigated by someone to intentionally add toxic substances to "it"'s cosmetics, and "it" has never let others put on makeup for "it"—the delicate makeup has been carefully repaired Finally, seeing that the time was approaching, "it" couldn't help speeding up,

I hope I don’t have accidents during this busy time... Stepping on thin high-heeled shoes, "it" walked out quickly while pulling the zipper of the cosmetic bag, but it bumped into someone at the corner just after leaving the bathroom A full bosom, accompanied by an elegant fragrance

"It" fell backwards uncontrollably, knowing that it must be unlucky.

He closed his eyes a little nervously, "it" was ready to fall to the ground...but the expected pain did not come, his waist tightened, "it" heard a low and cool male voice indifferently Said: "Don't waste my time."

Slightly taken aback, "It" opened its golden eyes in amazement, but suddenly met a pair of cool dark blue eyes... The slightly raised eyes carried a sharp indifference, and the man's delicate face The world is full of indifference and alienation.After a moment of daze, "it"

Immediately came to his senses, and immediately thanked: "Thank you, sir." Due to the training of "school", "it" has always been able to speak English well.

The man didn't answer, he just pulled his hand away and was about to leave, but unexpectedly "it"'s slender high-heeled shoes tilted suddenly, and "it" leaned against the man's body uncontrollably... This time, the man's attitude was Not so good.

"Ah, hold, I'm sorry." "It" stood up in a hurry, and bowed to the man embarrassingly...Even "it" didn't expect that the usually glamorous and noble "Ploy" would be so flustered when... What I didn't expect was, what's going on with this sudden rapid heartbeat...

The man frowned slightly, as if he was very unhappy, a hint of impatience flashed in his dark blue eyes, this time he still did not accept "it"'s apology, and strode away after "it" stood firm... even one Looking back, there is no charity.Looking at the man's tall and straight back

Gradually disappearing around the corner, "it" felt an inexplicable emptiness in its heart, and it couldn't tell what it was... It was just that the heart that had been silent for a long time seemed to come alive suddenly.

After two days of being in a daze, "it" can't control its thinking and always thinks about that indifferent man... Is he here for tourism... How long will he stay here... What does he do for work? Woolen cloth……

"It" feels like it's crazy, and its mind is full of that man who has only met once... "It" even seems to smell that faint and elegant smell, which is different from the cologne commonly used by men , but a very crisp and clean

taste.

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Two days later, the boss told "it" that a guest had "all inclusive" "it" for one night.After hearing the news, "it" no longer had the resignation and ashes-like silence of the past, but inexplicably added a touch of resistance... I can't say what it feels like, but "it" hates being touched by others again. Touching the body... At that moment, the "self-esteem" of "it" seemed to return to this dirty body.

Back to the original topic, the boss said that the customer paid a lot of money, so "it" has no right to resist as a tool... So after several stupid struggles, "it" was forcibly replaced The exposed black lace skirt is pushed into the hotel

A quiet room... The difference is that this time, the boss didn't inject "it" with muscle weakness drugs.

Standing in a dark room, "it" squeezed the fabric of the neckline slightly tremblingly, ready for a delay policy... Countless ways to deal with the predicament flashed through my mind, but all these thoughts were clearly visible When the people sitting in the living room disappeared.

...The golden eyes looked at the man sitting on the sofa with a bad look in disbelief, the heart of "it" started beating crazily after a sudden pause, and an indescribable joy exploded in the bottom of my heart.

The author has something to say: Ploy is in Thai

Because no one has been kind to him, so Yunque helped him and he remembered it... =. =A paranoid person, speaking from a certain point of view, his psychology is unsound, even distorted, after all, he grew up in that environment... As for why the skylark helped me, I can only say that at that moment, the skylark was also considered to have Responsibility... In the end it was he who hit it.

Aurora's awareness of her gender has changed from being vague at the very beginning, and it will be made completely by Skylark in the end.

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Why did I spend so much time writing transvestites as the corner of the story? Changed to this character, I want to show a different world... The fate of a ladyboy cannot be chosen, so I am very helpless, I want to see a different inner world through this character...