only in this mountain

On New Year's Eve, thousands of houses are brightly lit. At this time of saying goodbye to the old and welcoming the new, the rivers and rivers are in dire straits.

Jiang's mother cried out to persuade Jiang He, but Jiang He argued that homosexuality was uncontrollable and uncorrectable. No one noticed, including Jiang Ruolin on one side, and Jiang's father hit Jiang He's back with a shoulder pole. At that time, Jiang He staggered and fell to the ground.

"You're letting me and your mother die!" As he said, Father Jiang's pole went down again.

Jiang He was like this when he was a child, his father never told him to scold him, but once he was angered, he would go straight to it.Mother Jiang also fought with Father Jiang, knowing that his attack was not serious, and worried that he would beat her son badly, so she hurriedly tried to stop him.Jiang's father pushed away Jiang's mother vigorously, and roared: "A loving mother is a loser! Look at the good son you have raised! Lawless! How will we survive in Wanning Village in the future!"

Such a thick pole hit Jiang He again and again. Jiang He felt that his bones were about to fall apart, but he let his father hit him silently.

"Beast! Tell me if you change it or not! Do you change it or not!"

"Who the hell am I working from dawn to dusk for? Who are you worthy of! Have you read the book for so many years, have you read it in the dog's stomach!"

"Change! Change it for me! If you don't change it well, I'll treat you as my son!"

……

Tears welled up in his eyes, he gritted his teeth and survived, exhausted all his strength, and said, "Correct, no, stop." He didn't do anything outrageous, so where is the mistake that needs to be corrected?But he had actually foreseen today's situation long ago, so apart from answering that sentence, no matter what he said, his parents would not listen.

"I beat you to death!"

The pole fell again, and Jiang He fell to the ground and couldn't get up. Jiang's mother cried red-eyed and rushed over to hug Jiang He, screaming: "Jiang Jianye! You can beat me to death together! I have spent eight lifetimes with you in this life. Mold! No one is sorry for you, but who are you worthy of? Have you educated your child? Is it not your responsibility for him to grow up like this? The most damned is you!"

"Enough! It's all my fault!" Jiang Ruolin yelled, turning her head and crying too.

A good night of reunion, because of her own discovery led to irreparable consequences, the aura and bravery Jiang Ruolin worked so hard to maintain were defeated and died without a fight. She shed tears silently, blaming herself and regretting in her heart.

It was the first time that Jiang He didn't keep his old age at thirty.He did it on his own, and he didn't deserve the pain of the people he hurt.

After zero o'clock, the sound of firecrackers gradually decreased, and he could not hear the traffic on the street in the back room, and the whole world became quiet.

Even if it was silent, Jiang He knew that Huang Shirt was squatting next to his head, because the calming fragrance was constantly radiating from him.

In a trance, he felt that it was probably not the fragrance, but the spiritual power of the yellow shirt, and he was silently guarding himself.But why?Didn't he always want the mountain god stone?

But he couldn't wake up for a few minutes, and his mind was in chaos, so he didn't have the energy to ask Huang Shan.

"Doggone, what's the good of coming back here? Honestly, it's right to be the daughter-in-law of that surname Zhang in Nanxing Village."

Obviously Huang Shan said such a sentence, but Jiang He subconsciously heard someone say: "Give it to me quickly, give me all your strength..."

He also dreamed of the reservoir of Bagua Mountain. There were countless turtles floating on the water, and a big black fish jumped out of the water, vigorously pumping its gills.He couldn't restrain the sympathy in his heart, as if the big black fish was himself, he stretched out his hand to push it back into the water.But the big black fish suddenly opened its mouth and bit his finger, and it was dripping with blood in an instant.The water surface was calm just now, but in an instant, huge waves hit him, and he couldn't avoid it...

"Hiss—" It was the first time he fell out of bed in a dream when he grew up so big. What's more, he rolled over on his stomach. Even though his back was covered with a quilt, he was still gasping for breath in pain.

It's already dawn, and today is the first day of the first lunar month. Normally at this time, he should have been pushed out by his mother to celebrate the New Year with his relatives and friends, but there has been no movement yet.

The dream he had was still vivid in his mind, bringing back memories of his childhood.

He used to search for crabs and loaches in the ditch beside the farmland. One day when he went to play by the ditch, there were dead little turtles in the water and on the shore. He heard that someone deliberately poisoned them to death.That was the first time he saw turtles, and it was also the first time he faced such a large group of deaths. He couldn't remember what prompted him to fish up all the turtles in the water. The ones near the shore were easy, but those near the water There are often buffaloes soaking in the center of the ditch, and the mud underneath is very soft, so he accidentally sank into it.

He was already ten years old at the time, and his aunt kept saying that he would not grow up if he ate the weights. He was shorter than his peers and was soon covered by the water to the shoulders, and the sinking of the mud was still taking him deeper.He was terrified, and he didn't dare to open his mouth to call out for fear of drinking the poisonous water, so he could only scratch randomly on the water surface with both hands, hoping to catch something to fix his body.

The water had covered his mouth, and touched his nose from time to time... Just when the water was about to cover his head, an adult nearby who was pulling barnyard grass in the field found him and pulled him ashore.

"You child, why don't you make a sound. If you call out earlier, I can find out sooner. It's wrong to drown you to death with just this little water in the ditch. Your parents must not cry to death..."

Later, his mother strictly ordered him not to go to the river pond to play in the water and take a bath. He sneaked out to touch fish and catch lobsters. Basically, his mother beat him up once when he found out, and wanted to change his name back to what he had thought before.His grandma told him that he was short of water in his life, but he also avoided water. The addition of water in his name just broke the balance again, and the water god would still not bless him. His name was registered in the school file, and it was very difficult to change it. Trouble, don't go to places with a lot of water to save your life.

Of course he didn't think what his grandma said was true. If he believed in the Five Elements and Bazi, the Bazi had already been fixed when he was born, so how could he not discover the problem until later?

When he was young, he didn't have any logic, but at that time he had already started to be a little rebellious, and he did what he was not allowed to do, so that no matter where he went, his mother would let Jiang Ruolin stay with him and watch him.Jiang Ruolin didn't like being with him so much because of this, of course it had nothing to do with why he remembered his childhood.

Grandma also said that when a big fish that is not easy to see appears near the water, no matter how easy it seems to you, don't try to catch it. If there are fish, take stones and throw them away.

As he grows older, he gradually forgets his childhood experiences, and he doesn't remember his grandma's warning. If he was fishing by the reservoir last time, would the fish bite him or drag him to the center of the reservoir?

Shaking his head, he felt that no matter which possibility was bad, he dispelled those messy memories, he barely got up from the ground, moved his body a few times, and felt that the problem should not be serious, and he can go out today.

He was sweating a lot last night when he slept, and the clothes were very uncomfortable to stick to his body. He was just about to change into a clean one when his mother pushed the door open, and he hurriedly got into bed again.

Jiang's mother was holding a bowl of dumplings. Seeing that he was still very flexible, she didn't think it was that serious, and her worries all night finally came to the ground.She forcefully forced a smile: "Why are you so shy, I bathed you when you were a child."

The more she said this, the more embarrassed Jiang He became, and he didn't know what to say.

Jiang's mother said again: "When you get up, go down to have breakfast by yourself. If you don't go to other places, you still have to go to your great-grandfather's place to pay New Year's greetings."

Jiang He put on his clothes and was about to go downstairs when his second uncle's voice came up from downstairs: "If you don't eat, he will starve to death! Do you need to accommodate that little bastard! If he pours it out, he won't eat!" He waited for the second uncle to leave before going to wash up. He had no appetite at first, and he didn't touch any of the dumplings.

At noon, the whole family stayed at Grandpa's place for dinner. Grandpa's granddaughter-in-law was in charge of the cook. The dishes were good, but heavy in salt and spicy. Others ate happily, but he just wanted to shed tears.

My whole body hurts, and my heart feels even more uncomfortable, thinking that when he was in Nanxing Village, although the first two meals at Zhang Huai's house were heavily seasoned, when he was there, he didn't let it be spicy at all. There is also less ginger and garlic. After he has been back for a few days, even the meals made by his mother are a bit unappetizing, let alone meals that are only eaten once a year.

He ate a steamed bun and a few slices of green vegetables, and then he put down his chopsticks and went outside when he couldn't eat any more.My great-grandfather had two dogs. The young one kept turning around under the table when people were eating, and the big one lay quietly in the sun to sleep.Jiang He felt so itchy that he ran over to touch the dog's ears twice.

The big dog glared at him sullenly, grinning fiercely and looking a little dangerous.

"How old are you, why are you always playing with the dog like a child? If it bites you, do you say whether to get an injection or not? Why are you so short!" Three voices came from not far behind. Uncle's scolding, he and his second uncle also finished their meal, and each came out with a chair in front of the other.

The third uncle gave the chair to Jiang He, leaned on his car and stood with his hands folded in front of his chest, clicked his tongue as if he was struggling with something, and then said, "Xiao He, you can't let yourself do whatever you want in that matter, since ancient times It has always been that men like women, and when women marry men, yin and yang are reconciled and multiply, so that society can continue. It is against the laws of nature for men to be with men, and it is not in line with common sense."

Jiang He sat quietly without saying a word, and refuted his third uncle's words in his heart: "Homosexuality and heterosexuality are both a kind of sexual orientation. There is nothing abnormal, and there is no distinction between high and low. If there is no love between a man and a woman, it is just for reproduction. It’s also a disservice to society.”

The third uncle continued: "Don't dislike us for talking too much, we also care about you. Think about your parents, how much you have worked and suffered for you, your sisters are always going to marry, and you are their only one." They are not too young, how many more years can they enjoy? You can’t be an unfilial son and let them go with regrets. You have to know that once your affairs are known by others, you don’t have to care, but you let Why do your parents look up in front of people? They have lived in Wanning Village for most of their lives. Are you going to let them leave their homes when they are old? Besides, no matter where you are in this situation, everyone shouts and beats you. You let your parents How to survive?"

He didn't intend to disclose his sexual orientation at first, he could keep that secret all his life alone, as long as he insisted not to get married, would his parents still force him to worship other girls?But people are not as good as heaven, honest people can't fight against cunning monsters.He was also very helpless when things came to this point.

"Did you hear my lord!" Second Uncle suddenly shouted sharply, and kicked his chair.

Jiang He was so frightened that his scalp went numb, and under pressure, he could only nod indiscriminately to express his understanding, but what the third uncle said next made him feel uncomfortable both mentally and physically.

"You and Xiaohu are in the same year. Xiaohu has a junior high school classmate that you should know. He looks pretty good, but because of polio, he can't walk well. Someone wanted to match Xiaohu with her before, but Xiaohu's mother didn't agree. , when the time comes, I will help you find someone to go to their house to say goodbye."

Jiang He looked at his second uncle and third uncle in disbelief. He didn't know whether his third uncle introduced flawed girls to him because he was abnormal, or because he was eager to get rid of his son's troubles. Are the parents aware of the third uncle's plan?

The third uncle saw Jiang Hu standing at the door looking this way, his expression changed, and he said to Jiang He: "Think carefully, you don't know if you haven't tried it, and you will know what is worth it when you get married and have children. not worth it."

Jiang He's body felt chills, and the third uncle, who was expecting him to open his mouth to agree, saw him rushing to a place where no one was around, vomited out all the food he had eaten at noon, and then coughed violently, and the corners of his mouth even leaked bright red Blood.

The second and third uncles were all startled by the sudden change, and Jiang Hu exaggeratedly shouted into the house: "Uncle and Auntie! The third brother vomited blood!"

Being beaten on New Year's Eve and being admitted to the hospital on the first day of the first lunar month, this experience was quite tortuous.

Fortunately, after taking a series of films, he was fine. It was just that the stress response in his body was slightly delayed due to the sequelae of the heavy blow to his back. They went home again that night.

He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

In the middle of the night, the wind ghost outside the window was slapping the window violently like howling wolves, and seemed to want to sneak in through the crack of the window, while Huang Shirt closed his eyes and sat cross-legged beside Jiang He. The two of them had a soft halo like moonlight around their bodies, but if you look closely, , They all have dense beads of sweat on their heads.

The next day, Jiang He developed a high fever, which lasted for days and nights, and went to the hospital three times. He had never had a few injections when he was a child, and the backs of his hands were bruised and bruised.

Jiang He's mother scolded Jiang He's father like hell, and his father also set fire to the house and smashed the dishes.

After a good year like this, Mother Jiang, a rural woman who has not studied for a few years, can bear the hardships of working in the fields and the grievances of quarreling with her husband. It was as if the anger was being slowly sucked away, it was tantamount to cutting a piece of flesh directly from her body.

Jiang's mother made Jiang He's favorite poached eggs in wine, but Jiang He fell into a coma and didn't even look at it.The hospital didn't find any problems, and she didn't know why her son just couldn't get better. While stroking his son's head, she shed tears: "Xiaohe, what's wrong with you..."

The bedside table was opened a crack, and a piece of paper leaked out. Mother Jiang wanted to put the paper back, but when she opened the drawer, she saw a large stack of drawing paper, all of which were paintings drawn by Jiang He. There are tall and majestic mountains, lush forests, a dog under the starry sky, and two people smiling at each other.

"In the Hall of Eternal Life on July [-]th, when no one is whispering at midnight..." The voice stopped abruptly, and the papers in his hands fell to the ground.

Although Jiang's mother is not well-educated, she watches TV dramas in her spare time. She doesn't know who wrote that poem, but she knows that the popular meaning in the last two lines of the poem is usually when the male and female protagonists in TV dramas determine each other's life. lines.

But if she looked more carefully, she would find that that line of characters was not written by Jiang He at all. What Jiang He wanted to express was in the painting. It's gone blank.