The beauty of rebirth

Fed asked the question impulsively, only to realize that he regretted it after a while.For a while, I felt that if I said more, the description would get darker, so I just kept the original posture, silently waiting for the answer.

However, for a long time, there was just the same silence on the other side of the door, with no answer. Fed only felt that his heart seemed to be suspended in mid-air, and the up and down couldn't reach the edge.I can't say whether I want to get that answer or not.If not, what can I do?And if it's... what should I do?

Suddenly, I felt dully, wouldn't it be better not to know anything?However, his self-righteous calmness and rationality have long been washed away by what he saw just now.

He never thought of himself as a person who was easily jealous, and even though he loved Lin Rui, he never thought of making him his own.After all, he is a star, and he will have the love of more people besides himself, whether he is admired or admired.These, he thought, were nothing. Standing behind him, he would feel the same happiness as him.

However, he found that when he saw Lin Rui and Zhong Yuan together, he never seemed to be as calm as expected.Even if you deceive yourself or tell yourself to comfort yourself, don't be hostile to Zhongyuan because of your own imagination.However, just now I saw Zhong Yuan's care for Lin Rui in every detail, putting on his coat for him who was sleeping, sitting quietly waiting for him to wake up, and seeing him, the intentional or unintentional expression in his eyes. Soft look.

All of this is what Fed himself is used to doing for Lin Rui.So when he saw Zhong Yuan's eyes looking at Lin Rui, he immediately instinctively felt that the love contained in it was no less than his own love.

So, I suddenly found that the previous self-comfort was in vain.Zhong Yuan's love for Lin Rui may no longer be a problem that can be avoided by deceiving oneself and others.

Especially when he saw Lin Rui woke up and turned his head to look at Zhong Yuan for a long time. Although he couldn't see his expression clearly from the side, Fed immediately felt that a big part of his heart had been hollowed out, and he began to feel extremely uneasy stand up.Vaguely felt that something happened to these two people.

This is almost an instinctive reaction. Even if there is no clear evidence, you can still draw a conclusion that you don't want to believe but you have to believe.

Fed tilted his head against the glass door, feeling depressed for the first time, and wanted to sigh inexplicably.

However, the people inside still didn't respond, as if they didn't hear it. Fed felt uneasy for a while, and finally felt that this question was meaningless.Even if Lin Rui doesn't like Zhong Yuan, he doesn't seem to have the courage to make him his own right away, and if Lin Rui really likes Zhong Yuan, then...it's better not to know the answer.

However, Lin Rui's long silence made him immediately have a bad premonition. He was afraid that Lin Rui didn't know how to speak because of the second possibility, so he didn't speak for so long.

No matter what, I don't want to embarrass Lin Rui too much.

Thinking about it this way, he quickly broke the silence, smiled a few times, and said with an open-minded look: "Lin Rui, don't worry, I'm just talking casually..."

"Fed, I treat Brother Zhong...not...as you imagined." After being speechless for too long, a voice suddenly came from inside, very low and even a little hoarse, but it easily interrupted Fed's mid-speak .

"Ah, yes, I...it's my fault for talking too much." Fed froze for a moment, looked into the door, and then slowly stood up straight, feeling a little flustered all of a sudden.

"It's okay." After a while, the voice sounded softly again, "...I don't blame you."

Fed was suddenly surprised that his original grief was quickly wiped away by the last three words.I let out a sigh of relief often, and suddenly felt that most of the heaviness in my heart disappeared.He wiped his face with his hand, brushed his hair again, and said to the inside with a smile: "Then... then don't worry, take your time, how about... let me go outside and buy you some supper?"

"it is good."

Fed picked up his coat as if he had received an imperial edict, and was about to rush out the door. Halfway through the walk, he remembered something, looked at his watch, and then turned back, "Lin Rui, it's already eleven o'clock, I think... how about... ...It's right here... right?" While speaking, she strained her ears to listen for the reaction inside, but she could only clearly hear the slight excitement and nervousness in her voice.

"it is good."

The voice inside agreed extremely quickly, which immediately drove away the haze in Fed's heart.He put on his coat immediately, and rushed out the door while emphasizing "I sleep next door".

In fact, buying this double apartment for Lin Rui at that time could be regarded as his long-term strategic consideration.Thinking that as a manager, sooner or later, there will be a day when I have the opportunity to stay here.

Although Lin Rui and Zhong Yuan flirted with each other today, I was really depressed, but fortunately, I soon realized that even if that kid Zhong Yuan coveted again, Rui Rui's heart was still very firm... Uh, maybe he was on my side .In short, such a blessing in disguise is also very cost-effective.

Fed thought as he walked into a 24-hour fast food restaurant across the street.

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At the same time, after hearing the sound of the door closing, Lin Rui finally relaxed completely, leaned back, and sat slumped on the bathroom floor like mud.

He raised his head slightly, staring at the lamp on the ceiling with a somewhat dazed expression, and only then revealed his pale complexion covered by the remaining mist.The loose shirt on his body has been soaked with water or sweat, and some darker colors are slightly visible where it sticks to the skin.On the tip of the hair and on the face, water droplets are also dripping little by little.

However, at this moment, Lin Rui didn't care about these at all.After a while, feeling that his breathing had calmed down slightly, he tried to stand up against the wall.

However, there was still no strength in the hands and feet.Tried it once, but ended up falling back to the original place.Gritting his teeth, for the second time, he finally managed to stand up.

With his body still a little wobbly, he walked to the side of the bathtub, turned on the shower lotus after twisting a few times, and the warm water sprayed out all at once, and the warmth flowed through his whole body from head to tail.

Standing in the bathtub, he took off his clothes casually, lowered his head, and gently let go of his hand. The object in his hand quickly disappeared along the flowing water and flowed into the sewer pipe.

Including some white powder that has been dissolved in water for a long time.

Lin Rui didn't know whether his dependence on this kind of thing was still only on the body.Every time when he missed the former soul in this body, when he was confused and tired and couldn't find any other way to redeem, the instinctive twitching and trembling of his body would push him to reach out to the third drawer.It was as if there was a hallucination hidden in it, a short time enough to escape the present.

Even if there is only a little bit, it is enough to exchange for instant peace.

When I entered the bathroom before, just as I took off my coat and leaned against the wall wearily, that feeling suddenly swept through my body like an electric current.Every nerve in the body was pulled without any warning.

Even such an experience, I have had countless times in the past six months.But every time it brings me a new feeling, as if I fell into hell first, and then ascended to heaven in an instant, even if it is just an illusory hell and heaven.

Lin Rui didn't know what he wanted.If you just forget the person you used to be, perhaps indulging in this alternate struggle is the most effective way.However, if one day, I will put aside everything about Yao Qi and Lin Rui, and simply become Yao Qi or Lin Rui, and continue to live in this body, then I can no longer blindly avoid and escape from this.

When the following thoughts appeared in his mind, Lin Rui couldn't help being stunned for a moment.

To simply become Yao Qi... or Lin Rui... When did I start to have such an idea?Lin Rui hugged his body and sat curled up in a corner of the bathroom, while enduring the cold and convulsions spreading all over his body, what flashed through his mind was the scene with Zhong Yuan in the car just now.

If I completely become Lin Rui, then can I let go of the past and...

I felt that my mind was immediately confused, echoing the shivering feeling in my body, and my whole body began to shake more violently than before.Lin Rui slowly wiped his face with his hand, took a deep breath, and finally decided to stand up.

He fumbled into the drawer to take out the things he needed, and then struggled to turn on the faucet. The warm current fell on his body, which immediately eased the shivering.And that "squeaking" sound was enough to cover up all his movements on the side of the door.

Even if Fed was leaning outside the door, he wouldn't know what kind of struggle the people inside were going through.

And when he hesitated to ask that sentence, Lin Rui had just calmed down, curled up and sat in a corner of the bathroom again, breathing calmly.So, he couldn't give Fed an answer right away.

However, at that time, in his not so clear mind at that time, he was asking himself the same question at the same time.

However, he was surprised to find that he could not give an immediate answer to this question.

After a long silence, he realized that he couldn't think at all in this state.He could only smile and let out a long breath of relief.He quickly took another deep breath, and finally gave his answer slowly to the outside.

Lin Rui knew exactly what he was talking about, but he couldn't know why he finally gave such an answer.At that moment, he suppressed the discomfort remaining in his body, and only hoped that Fed would not notice anything unusual.

Fortunately, Fed was born with a big nerve, so he quickly believed his words, without a trace of doubt, but ran out to buy supper.

While thinking, he finally struggled to stand in front of the bathroom mirror.Stretching out a trembling hand, he wiped away a small piece of clear water on the blurred water mist, and saw his own face cast in it, his pale complexion looming.

There was a sudden weakness in my mind, and after a slight tremor, I came back to my senses, and the hands propped on the table had knocked over several bottles of perfume by the table.

All kinds of thick or light fragrances mixed with water mist scattered wantonly, filling the entire enclosed bathroom space.Lin Rui supported his body with the strength between his hands, and looked down to see all kinds of liquids flowing freely across the ground.

Before he had time to react to this incident, he suddenly felt the shuttle door behind him being forcefully opened.

"Lin Rui, you..." Fed leaned on the door with one hand, and the whole person froze in place, staring at Lin Rui up and down with his eyes, and his face turned red.After a while, I realized that I had to close my dropped jaw, continue what I had just said, and stammered, "...you you you, are you okay?"