[Thin Sakura Ghost] Tongqi

"Hey!" Not only the sound of knives cutting the air, Hijikata Toshizo seemed to be calling me, but also the shouts of Keisuke Yamanan and the team members, but everything was so far away.

Is it far away?I half-opened my eyes and spread my palms. The man lying on the ground was motionless. Suddenly, a knife flew up and cut the man's throat with a knife. Immediately, blood splashed everywhere, and the bloody coat on his chest was already stained red. I could almost see his life go by.

I killed him, I thought, looking at my hands, I killed this man myself.Not knowing his name, having never met him, I stuck the knife in his chest.

"Tong, it's over." In a daze, I heard Keisuke Shannan's voice, and then, his face seemed to pass through a magnifying glass, distorted and magnified in front of my eyes.

"It's over," he said again.

My head was buzzing, I nodded and walked a few steps staggeringly, only feeling that my whole body was cold without any warmth.The elbow was caught, and the body that was about to fall was supported. I let others support me, but I couldn't exert any more strength.

"You saved me."

I raised my head in surprise, Hijikata Toshizo was looking down at me, he must have been the one who supported me just now.My brain was in a mess, and my trembling lips were uncontrollable, and I couldn't say anything.

"Just now, you saved me." He emphasized again.

I nod.That's right, at that critical moment just now, I saved him at the cost of killing someone.But... if he didn't do that, would it be Hijikata Toshizo who died?I lowered my head, important people and strangers, I just sorted them into ranks and ranks so naturally.My mind was suddenly clear, but also filled with loathing for myself.

It was already evening when I returned to the village, and I was dragged all the way until I was thrown into the room.

"I killed someone." I murmured.

After a long silence, I sat helplessly leaning against the wall, waiting, expecting an answer.I don't know what kind of answer I want, comfort?scold?I don't even know which way to comfort myself, to free myself.

"You saved me." Hijikata Toshisan approached me and sat down beside me.

"But I killed a man." I don't know what I'm obsessed with, I understand what Hijikata Toshizo means, I saved him, I killed that man out of necessity, but I couldn't put myself Get out of the pain of taking someone else's life with your own hands.

"you have not."

I turned my head in surprise, and Hijikata Toshizo was looking at me with a smile, as gentle as a beam of white moonlight at night.

"You didn't. I did the last blow, remember?" He said as he took out a knife from behind and drew it out of its sheath. "Look, your knife is still clean."

The place that was originally stained with blood has taken on a new look. Hijikata Toshizo must have wiped the blade clean for me.I stared blankly at Hijikata Toshizo's beautiful smile.Why?Why do you do this for me?My vision gradually blurred, and the eye sockets gradually couldn't bear the weight of tears.

"Why are you still being so nice to me?" Hijikata Toshisan's face was distorted in a strange way in the blurred vision. Looking at his still gentle smile, I only felt that the last line of defense in my heart was defeated, and I plunged into his arms In the middle, he leaned on his shoulder and cried loudly, "Why are you so nice to me?! You big idiot!!"

***

I didn't go to dinner that day, but someone brought it anyway, and it was Souji Okita.

"Mr. Hijikata asked Shinpachi to deliver it, and I snatched it." Mr. Okita lay casually on his side in my room, "Ah, it seems that Tong still hasn't understood his intentions."

I took a sip of the soup, it tasted very salty, "Director, did you cook dinner?"

"Ah, I've learned my lesson. Here, the bowl of water next to you can be eaten after rinsing."

I did so with a sigh, and Okita Souji also approached me in the gap, "Why are you afraid?"

I knew what he was asking, and gave him a look: "I never thought I would kill someone."

"Really?" Souji Okita curled his lips into a smile, "This is the funniest joke I've ever heard recently."

"..." I lowered my head in silence, he was right, after I agreed with Chiba Sana to fight for Ryoma's dream, after I accepted the sword sent by Senior Ishikawa, and after I begged Mr. When Si was learning swordsmanship, I clearly knew that the final path would never be clean.

"When you picked up the knife, you were already prepared to kill, weren't you?" Okita Souji continued, "Or do you want to pretend to be weak in front of Mr. Hijikata, so as to tie his heart?"

"I don't." I frowned and stared at Souji Okita, he is really annoying now, "I'm just... I'm just!"

"Just what?" Okita Souji's smile was sly, like a fox.

"I don't want to admit it!" I roared out as if venting, "Yes! You are right! I did know that there would be such a day!"

"Yeah." Okita Souji still smiled.

"But when it did come, I was so scared. Really... scared." I lowered my head and whispered.My voice became softer and softer until at last I wasn't even sure I was making a sound.

The palm of my hand warmed up, and Souji Okita's palm was pressed against the back of my hand.His hands slowly closed, including mine.I raised my head, and the mocking taste in the green eyes of Mr. Okita rarely disappeared, and his smile was very sincere, "Tong, you have to pay the corresponding price for protecting important things. Otherwise, why should the gods leave it to you?" What do you want most?"

There is a price to pay for protecting important things.I recited it silently in my heart, and met Okita Souji's gaze and asked: "Then what is it that the Souji wants to protect?"

"Kondo-san, Shinsengumi. Well, I have to add Hijikata-san." Okita Souji spread his palms, as if reluctantly said Hijikata Toshizo's name, but he suddenly became serious when he was joking, "They I don’t understand what you’re talking about, whether it’s the Zuba faction or the Banbai faction, I just want to use my sword to protect my important people.”

I smiled, and took Okita's hand with my backhand: "I don't understand what they are talking about, and I don't understand what they are talking about. The Saba faction and the Banbai faction are even more confused. I just hope to use my power to protect important people. Just like you, Okita Souji."

The palm is warm, and I can clearly feel that Souji Okita's hand is getting stronger, and his eyes are shining with light, which is a color brighter than the stars.

"Hey, I didn't expect to have the same idea as you. It seems that I have to think about what's wrong with my life."

"Hey, you!" I pretended to give him a bullet in the head, he didn't hide at all, but I still giggled and stopped my left hand, my right hand was tightly clenched by his right hand, I understand, the eyes in front of me This man who is about my age, who has the same sweet tooth as me, and who even thinks so much the same, has completely stepped into my life.