fate is easy

Xiao Ge is gay!

This point, he himself has known for a long time.

In the first year of high school, he woke up early one morning, it was still dark outside the window, and the dormitory was still quiet.He sat on the bed in silence, wrapped around the quilt, and recalled the dream that he couldn't remember with dull eyes.With the dim street light outside the window, it took about a few minutes to notice that the quilt on the opposite side was undulating strangely, which was the bunk of their squad leader.Because it is winter, there are no mosquitoes, and there is no need to put down the mosquito net, so the situation of the squad leader's bunk can be seen at a glance, but I don't see the squad leader at the moment, I can only see that there seems to be something stirring inside under the raised quilt, and the movement is getting faster and faster. Faster and faster, faster and faster, he could feel the cold wind blowing from the quilt from a long distance away, and then he heard a hoarse growl, vaguely, like pain, but also like joy.He was a little startled.Then, he saw the squad leader's head sticking out. It turned out that the squad leader had buried himself in the bed.In the haze, one could even see the squad leader's face flushed with a little... so weird beauty.Although he tried his best to restrain himself, the squad leader's breathing was undoubtedly short of breath. Xiao Ge could even hear the squad leader's violent heartbeat, and it took a long time for the heartbeat to gradually return to normal.And the squad leader's quilt was also calm, and it was completely impossible to see that there was anything hidden inside except the squad leader's body, or, there was nothing else at all.

Then, the squad leader lazily turned over, and was stunned when he met Xiao Ge's gaze.Xiao Ge also stared blankly at the monitor like an old monk in meditation, under the faint light, he saw that the monitor's eyes were shining brightly, extremely beautiful.

Then, the squad leader's face sank, he didn't make a sound, he just turned over and faced the wall.Then, when going to bed at night, the squad leader took off the mosquito net.Xiao Ge also got off the mosquito net.Although there were no mosquitoes in winter, and the boys in the boys' dormitory didn't put down the mosquito nets, but, driven by the two people inexplicably, the dormitory also started to put down the mosquito nets to sleep.

After that, Xiao Ge could no longer see the secrets in the squad leader's bed, let alone what that thing was tossing about in the squad leader's bed.A few days later, Xiao Ge was woken up by the squad leader's blushing face, watery eyes, and hoarse moans in his dream. He put his hand on the painfully hard thing under his stomach and subconsciously manipulated it. When the groan was almost gushing out, Xiao Ge suddenly realized what he saw that day...

From that day on, the sexual consciousness of the 15-year-old boy was awakened.

The conditions of the high schools in the small county are not so good. There are no bathrooms in the dormitory, but there is a public bathroom next to the school kitchen, half of which is divided between men and women.Although there are a dozen or so single-person bathrooms in the boys' bathroom, I don't know if it's because of old disrepair or because the boys are naughty. These bathrooms have no doors at all, and the school has not sent people to repair them for a long time. .In the eyes of the school, between the same sex, you have me and everyone has, what to cultivate!Therefore, there are often dozens of people in a large bathhouse of [-] to [-] square meters, so you wash and everyone washes.

Originally, Xiao Ge didn't notice it, but it was just a white stripe mixed with a large group of white stripes, and he didn't feel uncomfortable, and the water fights from time to time also added a lot of fun to campus life. Aren't they a group of boys in the small river in the country also fighting water fights with their buttocks naked-very normal.

However, after that incident, for some reason, when he took a bath again, he saw white things in his eyes, just like a blind man suddenly seeing the bright world, Xiao Ge was stunned: he not only saw I saw others, and I also saw the changes in myself.

That day, he almost escaped from the bathhouse in despair.The children in the country have no reading materials except a few textbooks. The knowledge is not enough to meet the exams, and they are not used in life.Therefore, Xiao Ge didn't know that his reaction was normal and a sign of good health. He just felt that this reaction was shameful.So, from then on, he no longer squeezed into the bathroom with his classmates, and only sneaked into the bathroom to take a bath like a thief in the dead of night when others were sleeping.The teacher on duty at night caught him a few times and thought he came to do the laundry because he was late reading.The school has a good study atmosphere, and many of the students who work hard are studying at night with the lamp on. They are all rural children. The matter of students studying in the middle of the night is not very strict.Xiao Ge took advantage of this loophole and began his life of taking a bath in the middle of the night.

In fact, there is nothing wrong with taking a bath in the middle of the night. You don’t have to compete with others for the faucet. Not having to take a bath is like fighting a war. It’s good.Only in this way, Xiao Ge seemed a little weird.

I don't know if Xiao Ge's own overthinking is something, he always feels that after that incident, the squad leader treats him a little differently.It looks the same as usual, but I always feel that something is different. I can't tell the specifics, but there is that feeling of being different.From time to time, Xiao Ge reminded himself to find that different place to prove his feelings were not wrong, so, unconsciously, his feelings followed the squad leader.You don't have to stare with your eyes, you can use your peripheral vision. Later, he can even know what the monitor is doing by feeling. Later, every time he is blindfolded, all he can think about is The squad leader's blushing face, those watery eyes, and that soul-stirring moan.

So, Xiao Ge, a 16-year-old boy began to feel sick.He knew that he was abnormal, and he also instinctively knew that if people found out, he would be finished.

One day, a classmate in the same dormitory got a few pocket books called "Movie Girl" from nowhere. That night, there was another vibration from the monitor's bed, and the mosquito net was down and he couldn't see clearly inside. However, Xiao Ge He knew what the squad leader was doing, because he was also vibrating, but what he was thinking about was not the picture in the cartoon, but the appearance of the squad leader behind the mosquito net.

In high school, they were all in their teens, when boys and girls first fell in love.The class leader, who is outstanding both in appearance and grades, soon has a girlfriend, who is also the belle of the class next door.During breaks, when eating, and when entertaining, you can see the beautiful pictures of the handsome men and beautiful women.

However, Xiao Ge's heart seemed to be hollowed out. The place where there was a beating healthy heart became empty from now on, and there was no more vitality.Xiao Ge started to write a diary. His inexplicable feelings made him almost explode. If he didn't find a place to talk about it, he felt that he would go crazy.Unknowingly, the diary has fewer and fewer blank pages, but the empty space in Xiao Ge's heart is getting bigger and bigger.Until one day, when he returned to the dormitory, he found that his neatly folded quilt was turned over, and the diary he had carefully wrapped in the quilt was thrown aside like a big thorn. At that moment, he felt breathless. All gone.

He frantically asked people who moved his bed and his diary, probably because his madness frightened people, but no one admitted to moving his things.After questioning for a long time but couldn't find anything, Xiao Ge felt that the sky was falling—he was finished, his secret was no longer a secret, and he was destined to be finished!

In the middle of the night, Xiao Ge came to the bathhouse again. Instead of taking a bath, he picked the most secret compartment, lit a fire, and burned his heart together with his diary—the secret should be Rotten in his stomach, Xiao Ge also understood one thing at the same time, he is different from others!

The next day, Xiao Ge dropped out of school. Anyway, his academic performance has been plummeting, and he no longer has the courage to stay in school after the secret is exposed.In this county high school, dropping out of school is commonplace, and most of the students drop out for economic reasons, so the teacher tried to persuade them and let them go.

In that year, Xiao Ge changed from a school student with ideals and prospects to a bewildered social youth.

Xiao Ge's home is in a remote village in the southwestern countryside. His parents had gone south to Guangdong to work when he was in elementary school, and he has been living with his grandmother in his hometown.Grandma didn't say anything when she saw that he had dropped out of school. Anyway, he was the one who wanted to study, and he was the one who didn't want to study now. Grandma let him.The advantage of Xiao Ge not continuing to study is that the family's expenses are not so tight. It is not easy for parents to be away, and the money that can be sent home is limited.

Not long after Xiao Ge returned home, the Spring Festival came, and his parents finally returned to their hometown to celebrate the New Year after a few years.Regarding Xiao Ge's dropping out of school, his parents didn't say much, but his father said: "All the money in the past was wasted."

The parents' return to their hometown this time was not as lively as they had imagined, but instead made the family even more desolate.It turned out that the parents came back this time to get a divorce. It is said that the mother had a relationship with someone outside, and the father was not clean, so the two simply went their separate ways.

The procedure is very easy, and even in remote rural areas nowadays, divorce is not a shameful thing.Mother stuffed 2000 yuan into Xiao Ge's purse, left a cell phone number, and then left without looking back. She went back to her natal home for the New Year.

No one told Xiao Ge who he belonged to, father or mother?He still stayed at his father's house according to his own mind, where there was at least one grandma.Just after the third day of the new year, my father set off to work again.Xiao Ge did farm work at home like most of his peers. In the countryside, there are very few people at his age who can enter high school. Most of them work at home after graduating from junior high school, and start to go out when they are older. Work to earn money.

At the beginning of spring, grandma went up the mountain to collect firewood, and accidentally fell, and she died before Xiao Ge's father came back.After the funeral, Xiao Ge got an ID card and followed his father to Guangdong to work.

His father worked as a locomotive in a garment factory. Xiao Ge was too young and inexperienced, so the boss refused to employ him.Xiao Ge was bored in the shack less than [-] square meters rented by his father, so he wandered around, and after slowly finding the doorway, he found some temporary work to do. After this kind of work, he paid the money and took the money away People owe nothing to each other, and the labor law can't control it.What children in the mountains lack most are strength and the ability to endure hardships. Therefore, after a few months, Xiao Ge actually managed to save some money, enough money to make him feel big.So, after hiding out for an hour or two as usual, Xiao Ge, who passed by a coquettish girl, returned to the hut where he could barely straighten up, and told his father who was lazily lying on the bed and ready to sleep, that he would go to the rivers and lakes to meet her. world to go.

The place Xiao Ge is going to is Beijing.

The author has something to say: Let’s use Xiao Ge’s episode as a watershed in this chapter. From the next chapter, we can slowly understand Zhu Yan’s story and Ye Xiao’an’s shit!