Balance beam

It was just past midnight when Perrin returned to the city, and the stars were so bright that the moon was obscured by a thin mist.When I arrived at my parents' house, I passed the one-story house where Li Jia lived, and the door was closed and it was pitch black.

Thinking about the situation on Sonia's side, and considering whether to call Suo's father tomorrow morning, Palin felt a little apprehensive and lazy. Father-in-law is not easy to get along with, and he can't socialize.Frowning, he tore off his tie, put his handbag on the shoe cabinet, and kicked off his shoes.

The old room has a faint smell, mixed with an inexplicable smell.

A kitten with dark circles came out, meowed, and yawned with its mouth wide open, then returned to the living room and jumped onto the sofa with its tail flicking.

Palin's mother was sitting on the sofa, dancing her crochet needle up and down, knitting a lace cushion, with flower glasses on her eyes, a sweater on her body, and the TV was on silent.Hearing the sound of Palin entering the room, the mother hastened a few stitches to close her mouth, then looked up at her son, "Didn't you say you'd be back at ten o'clock? Why is it so late?"

Perrin was holding his coat in his hand, his mouth was slightly open and his face was full of surprise.The area illuminated by the floor lamp was only a little bit, and the figure under the light became another person in a trance.

Perrin closed his eyes and opened them again.

It was still the scene of Li Jia sitting there with his arms folded in a sweater. At that time, Li Jia had soft forehead hair, which looked like a minor when it fell down.

"Li Jia?" Palin was full of doubts.

"what?"

Perrin shook his head, then lowered his eyes in disappointment, "It's nothing, Mom, is there any food left?"

Li Jia, has been touched by him, has avoided him again and again, hugged him and said he likes him, shown distrust in his eyes, felt jealous for him, and betrayed him.

No matter how unwilling and puzzled Palin felt, he still went to him secretly, followed him cautiously, and even set up an office in that humble city.For so many years, Palin never changed his number, but Li Jia never even hung up on him, even if it was a polite condolence.

When he saw Sonia lying on the bed with a scrawny face and a sad face, Palin felt guilty for not being bisexual for a moment.

He couldn't bear such affection and kindness at all, and even felt painful to perfunctory.

When I saw Li Jia's face at home, the pain of others became insignificant.If human nature is selfish, then he chose to be stubborn and stubborn, while Li Jia chose to bear it silently and then left quietly.

Li Jia never complained a word about Sonia's matter, and even if there was anxiety on his face, it was fleeting.Carefully stewing soup for Sonia, Topelin took it over, and waited for Palin to return home with empathy.

Seeing such a light in his home downstairs every day, Palin felt warm from the bottom of his heart.

So Perrin assumed he could take it, which was understandable.Two people who are in love with each other, what are they afraid of even if they are not afraid of public opinion?

Palin scooped up a spoonful of snow clams and brought them to his mouth. They were soft, tender and slightly fishy, ​​and the translucent tonic shone with a lustrous luster.In front of Palin's eyes, the man's back was rising and falling. The man sat on the bed weakly with his elbows supporting his legs, accepting his impact from behind. The way he closed his eyes and pursed his lips revealed a hint of abstinence, tempting people to violate him again and again.

Perrin kissed Li Jia lightly on the nape of the neck, sucking the skin and knuckles around his shoulders.Supporting Li Jia's waist with one hand, he bumped deeply at the same time, staying for a long time every time he punched in, as if the tightly wrapped skin would suck.

Their figures hit the thin bed curtains, and the shadows enlarged and overlapped, as if merging into one person, shaking and sawing back and forth.

These are all things of the past.

The father next door snored softly and then loudly, and Perrin groaned, biting his lip.

There is a black thread in the snow clam that the mother did not remove, but in fact, what seems to be transparent is often wrapped in a black core, just like human nature, selfish and hypocritical, but it is inseparable.The thought of not wanting to speak out may be able to cover up for a while, but how can it be possible to blind others for a long time.

Those ambiguous feelings are nothing but deceptions, just like the lies I told when I wanted to be with him.

Mama Palin brought down the soup that was just hot on the stove, sat aside and watched her son, gossiping one after another.

Perrin's mind wandered from time to time, obviously too tired.

After sending her son to take a bath, Palin's mother went back to the bedroom and picked up two sleeping pills from the bedside bed.Palin turned over and muttered, "Why aren't you asleep?"

Ma Palin sighed, looking at her husband's face that fell asleep again, but couldn't shake him and said to him, "Our son really likes men."

When Palin lost his composure all over the world looking for Li Jia, Palin's mother raised her heart to her throat, and no matter what her son said that was too much, she didn't dare to provoke him any more.He took out his digital camera and flipped forward to the photos he didn't care about with shaking hands. Palin and Li Jia hugged each other and smiled at the camera.

At that time, he only cared about Sonia, not Li Jia. They were just good friends.But if you change it to another way of thinking, if they are a man and a woman, this smiling expression is obviously happiness.

I remembered seeing Li Jia at Palin's place, the way he stretched his neck to pick jam, and the guilty look on his face when he saw him. Since when did he play the role of daughter-in-law?

Ma Palin kept this secret in her mouth and dared not ask or tell it.

Carefully watching Palin finally leave the shadow and get on the right track, married and have a child, a doubtful heart is a little balanced, but for several years, his son has never smiled happily like an abandoned husband, and the eyebrows are always Locked with wrinkles, no matter when you look at it, you have a lonely expression.He only said that he was busy with work and felt more tired. Li Jia's departure took away half of Palin's soul, and he didn't know who tortured whom.

Today, my son went to Changxia again, the city with Li Jia.

In the quiet bathroom, Qian Peilin picked up the towel and covered his face, looked forward with empty eyes, wiped it mechanically, and played back every detail of meeting Li Jia at night over and over again in his mind.

At this time, Li Jia was sitting at the desk, watching Jiang Jiang doing his homework. The child's pen drew mathematical symbols one by one on the notebook, but Li Jia wandered into an unknown world.

The shadow on the wall stared blankly at a certain point, Jiang Jiang's pen rustled and wrote without looking up, "Dad, what are you looking at?" After asking a few times, Li Jia came back to his senses and looked up at the wall At the last hour, he raised his hand and lightly tapped the back of his neck, "No, how much do you have?" "Half a roll of paper, you go wash your feet first!"

Li Jia stood up obediently and poured the hot Chinese medicine on the induction cooker into the wooden barrel, and sat in the corner of the living room, staring at one place in a daze.

It may be because of his age that he can't bear the cold especially. The city is not cold, but the humidity is a bit heavy when the seasons change, and he has not been able to adapt to it for many years.Jiang Jiang is a sensible child, and the prescription he got from his classmate's parents is the most effective therapy at this time of year.

The body is cold and the body is weak, but the heart is very warm.Fortunately, no matter what he goes through, he still has a son to rely on.Watching the child grow up slowly, the past has gradually become bearable and somewhat blurred.The father and son depended on each other for life, thinking that many years after that would be just as plain as water.Meeting Palin again, the shock still made him uneasy.

So many things are drawn out that it's hard to ignore.

Qian Peilin, childhood playmate, grown-up friend, and later lover.For a time, he avoided this man's frequent overtures like a snake and a scorpion, gritted his teeth and hated him when he was forced, sympathized with him, pitied him, and looked at this superior man surrendering at his feet in disbelief.

Li Jia still can't understand where Palin's fascination with him comes from.

Because they didn't want to be together, Li Jia was once indifferent to men, because he often beat each other's cheeks because he was unwilling, and the men never lost their temper.During the time they were together, they were spoiled beyond measure, even if they suffered misfortune again, they would still be that person's treasure.

No one ever treated himself like Champelin again.

From the initial displeasure to seeing the man haggard because of himself in the end, I always felt a little distressed.Li Jia knew that his emotions were changing quietly.

Li Jia is not a person with his own opinions. As for the question of whether to love or not, it took many times more time than ordinary people to figure it out.After nine years of precipitation, I finally understood my own heart.

I have experienced pain and torture in my heart, but I still feel more happy.Li Jia dated him out of pity. He didn't feel that he was so lucky to enjoy being loved by such an excellent person for a long time. Therefore, when he was betrayed, he felt nothing but a little heartache. a feeling of.

It's just a pity, because no one will feel sorry for him to lick his fingers.

There might be a misunderstanding between the two, but when he asked Palin, Palin talked about him and didn't give a positive answer, so Li Jia's heart slipped to a colder place.

As Suo's father said, it's best for Palin to be with Sonia.He is a divorced man with children, while Palin is a young talent with a bright future.Falling into this vicious circle, violating the worldly vision, and ruining their reputation may be nothing to the ordinary citizens, but the money Palin owes the company and the possible lawsuits they may face are not simple problems to solve.No matter how innocent Li Jia was, he also knew that Palin had a big loophole in funding.If bad word-of-mouth such as betraying company information is involved, it will be difficult for this industry to survive.

Suppressing them with Suo's father's means, "It's like strangling an ant to death." Suo's father's deep old face reappeared in front of his eyes again, "Li Jia, you are a smart boy. What is right and what is wrong, you should be more careful." Clear. As an elder, I don’t want to make more judgments on your world view and love view. Think about it for yourself. It’s another matter if you really love each other. Do you really love him that much? Palin, Palin also Do you love you? Are you in love? This is not a house party. If you get along, you will be together and if you are not, you will be separated. Think about your parents and family members. Knowing that you are together, what do you think?"

"How many years have you been with Palin?"

"Are you obsessed with Palin's kindness to you, or are you confused by Palin's aura? He has an outstanding career, a wealthy family, good social skills, and a chic demeanor. I really don't know what you and Sonia are looking for in him? This kid In my eyes, it’s just a male peacock with beautiful feathers. He just walks around and shows off his beauty. Yes, he is very handsome. Is it because he is so handsome that you like him so much?”

"When he suffers a blow in his career, he will also be devastated and resentful. All the jokes and humor you see will disappear. He only has a hateful face towards you, because you ruined him life."

"Your son's illness needs a lot of money, right? To put it bluntly, if there is any situation in the future that requires a kidney replacement and surgery, it can't be solved by selling your house and organs, right? Sonia's mother is a kidney." We struggled with the disease for seven years and underwent two major operations, but we still did not save her life."

"What are you and Palin? You are just two men after all. He has no responsibility or obligation to help you take care of your ex-wife's children. Maybe you will say that Palin is kind, not the philistine I thought. Li Plus, you have worked with Palin for such a long time, have you seen his methods of suppressing competitors? Liu XX from the Ministry of Construction, Sun XX from the Audit Office, the men who step on other people's superiors have real skills, so how about Pei Lin? When Lin needs it, do you mind if he steps on you too?"

"Yesterday, Sonia and I went to Palin's house. It was an official meeting between the two parents. Their wedding will be on October [-]th. Did Palin tell you?" Seeing Li Jiawei's mouth open, he asked Father had a clear look on his face, as if saying, "I knew it was like this."

As for whether Palin really loves Sonia, Li Jia doesn't really believe it. Whether he is stubborn or trusts Palin blindly, Li Jia firmly believes that Palin is not the kind of man who likes women.If it was another reason to say that Palin changed his mind and fell in love with another man, Li Jia might believe it.

Of course Sonia's father said too much, and of course he would not record it for his son-in-law. The recording Palin heard was just a shortened version. Disappointed in love, distrusting him, hesitant and at a loss, feeling that Palin doesn't really love her, but only loves that body, but it's just a momentary impulse.So when Suo's father handed over the check to Li Jia, "Think about it carefully, don't rush to make a decision, these are the conditions for you to leave Palin, and you can live a better life. You don't have to express your position now, and don't say it now No, if you keep it, I am willing to believe that you are really determined to leave Palin. Of course, you can go back on your word, but if a man is unsuccessful in his career, has no savings, and only relies on a little love, do you feel safe? ? In the final analysis, this is your own business, you should think about it carefully!"

As for the threats and intimidations that Chongren had heard about, such as cutting up his arms and legs and feeding the fish, Li Jia didn't really care. Although the old man said it very seriously, he was a little scared at the time.The only thing Suo's father got into his heart was that Palin was only infatuated with him for a while, and when Palin woke up, he would regret that he had been infatuated with someone as handsome as Li Jia.

What's more, he had nothing to offer Palin, only to hold him back.

Palin's attitude toward him...

Li Jia covered his face with his hands, and leaned half on the heating hood, his shadow under the light looked so helpless and painful.