Balance beam

Time flies, spring goes and autumn comes, when the thick yellow dead leaves are run over by the wheels, leaving traces of ruins, indicating that another winter is coming.Since that year, Palin has had an inexplicable annoyance with winter.People who used to go skiing every year now take their families south every winter.His wife is a sympathetic person, she often goes with a lot of luggage and returns with more luggage, as if she is not on vacation but just for shopping.When buying fur, you will bring several people's "this is for XX, this is for XX" leather bags, clothing, shoes, and even go to the tropics, and come back with an ivory, no matter how hard Palin has spent. When it is obtained, the woman is only responsible for saying the word "want", and then wipes and cherishes it like a treasure every day.A woman's desire to shop is like a gully that is difficult to fill, and one can't help but wonder, if this continues, sooner or later she will buy him out of business.

The driver who entered the urban area slowed down significantly. Palin rubbed the center of his brows, and turned his gaze from the document on his lap to the window. There were rustling pedestrians passing by, with their arms around their shoulders, as if they were not getting cold from the wind.This scene touched a certain string in his heart, and he panicked for no reason, as if there had been a similar plot somewhere.I frowned and recalled, after all, I couldn't remember when and where there was such a scene.This happens when he gets older, his memory declines a bit, and many people and things gradually become faint and blurred, perhaps irrelevant, but he just can't remember them.

Perrin stepped into the house, handed the handbag to the servant lazily, frowned and hissed softly, and then went upstairs quietly.Laughter came from the living room, sometimes Yingying whispered softly, sometimes laughed loudly, it was the wife having a party, this kind of small-scale communication between girlfriends was almost once a week, and it had never stopped for several years.

The Phalaenopsis orchids placed on the counter seem to bloom delicately without feeling the change of seasons.Perrin glanced at the frescoes of pharaohs on the wall and frowned even deeper.The decoration of the home is like a hotel, it needs to be refurbished every three to five years, and my wife's taste is getting worse and worse.

Palin entered the study with a cold face, turned on the floor-to-ceiling screen, and turned up the temperature of the air conditioner, but his palms still felt cold.He took off his coat and rolled up his sleeves, staring at the blueprint on the screen with a cold attitude.The lenses of the glasses reflected a series of calculation formulas, and the room was so quiet that only the sound of typing on the keyboard remained.For a long time, Perrin turned his head sideways to think. It was the data used a long time ago, the formula for calculating the weight of round steel forging, and he only remembered the part before 0.67 but couldn't remember it clearly.

Perrin leaned against the sofa, took off his glasses and rubbed between his brows.He didn't bother to check, just closed his eyes and rested his mind with a cigarette in his mouth. The sound of children running and laughing came from the yard. Palin smiled slightly, and felt a rectangular box on the seat cushion with his palm.

I thought it was a loose toy, but the moment he saw the box, Palin's heart couldn't help but throbbing. He pressed his hands on his chest and walked to the balcony to breathe.

After igniting the fireworks, I realized that the smoke had already been lit, and I looked at the clouds in the sky in a daze.I have to feel that time flies so fast.

The worship box in his hand is a watch, which was worn by his former lover. He squinted his eyes to see the needle movement of the cheap electronic watch on his wrist. When he gave a gift, Perrin thought of it immediately. This thing is very beautiful. He is unassuming and durable.For the price of the year, it was definitely a luxury.It doesn't look very outdated now, it's just that when the man left, this thing was left behind.

Li Jia is not so much a childhood sweetheart, but a love that Palin begged for.He was obviously a playmate since he was a child, and his appearance was so ordinary that he didn't have any special features. I don't know when Palin started to think differently about that thin friend who looked like a refugee.I thought about giving up, once focused on work, once indulged in sensual places, but still couldn't take back the attention of the other party.

I was haggard because of Li Jia, and I was fascinated by Li Jia. The years of falling in love with this person were the years of switching between hell and heaven, enjoying pain and joy.And that person also responded from ignorance, from initial rejection to later emotion, Palin once thought that no matter how difficult it was, he would never let go.But that man chose to leave him in the end. The seemingly cowardly man who was actually quite persistent at certain times chose to leave without saying goodbye when Palin was on a business trip.Not even a note was left, and there was only such a watch on the table.

A man like Li Jia seems to be Palin's foil, but under Palin's brilliance, he doesn't stand out.Only Palin knew that, in fact, he was Li Jia's candidate.With Li Jia's character, Palin didn't believe that he would give up his relationship with him for the 300 million check from Suo's family, but all the evidence showed that Li Jia left voluntarily.

Whether it was a last resort or finally freed, I don't know.

At first Perrin wondered if he was hiding something, if he was under duress.As time went by, the details that were ignored at the beginning were replayed one by one, which seemed to verify the existence of some kind of hint. Apart from Li Jia's words and actions, there always seemed to be some signs.Palin even regretted whether Li Jia had misunderstood because of his inappropriate words during their last long conversation.

Palin tried to understand Li Jia, and after understanding, he felt resentment, and after resentment, he felt that Li Jia could be forgiven. After several years of torment, Li Jia gradually faded into a fragment of his past life, a shadow, a dream that he had been striving for but could not get.

The time I spent with Li Jia was just over a year. During that time, Palin was both happy and lonely, like a person walking on a balance beam, maintaining an unequal love, stretching his arms carefully, for fear of making a wrong step, Just fell into the abyss.Others are just passers-by watching from the sidelines with a lazy attitude.And he, neither has the luck of leisurely walking, nor the qualifications of running and jumping for entertainment, before and now.

Palin propped his elbows on the terrazzo guardrail, smoking half prone, and the sycamore trees in the yard had dropped a field of fruit, dark green with yellow, that color made people's eyes slightly warm.The son, wearing a yellow smock, issued orders to the children below, and when he looked up and saw his father, he jumped and shouted at him.Time flies so fast, Li Jia left nine years ago.He lost his lover for nine full years.My favorite winter has also become a season without temperature because of someone's departure. A piece of Palin's heart has long been missing, and it hasn't been filled back these years.

Palin changed his clothes and went downstairs. When he walked into the living room, his face was full of enthusiasm. After Sonia kissed lightly on the side of Sonia's cheek, the women moaned in unison.The harmonious scene between their husband and wife "raising their eyebrows together" is always the focus of jokes among girlfriends.Palin smiled and said to one of the women, "I asked Tang Sen to play golf this weekend, are you going?" Xu Meijing smiled and shook her head, and took a sip of tea, "I won't participate in your men's activities." Palin turned The head asked Li Xuan, who was holding the cushion and giggling, "What has Ma Bin been up to lately?" The dimples on Li Xuan's cheeks sank deeper, her brows were crooked and her face was slightly smug, she stretched out her chubby palm and waved in mid-air, "What's the matter?" He's not working on his Italian holiday villa." "That piece of land is good, and it will definitely have a bright future, your husband is very discerning." Finally, his eyes turned to Miao Ke, who had his hands intertwined, "Barbara is beautiful again, we said Well, when she grows up, she must be my daughter-in-law." Miao Ke lowered her head subtly, and smiled without answering.

Sonia had a happy face and leaned half on her husband's shoulder.Palin's eyes stayed on Miao Ke the most, and he treated her most kindly. Sonia blinked her long eyelashes, pretending not to see it.I didn't think much of it before, but now I see that Miao Ke's demeanor is more and more similar to that man.Although she has told Palin countless times behind her back, Miao is a very scheming woman with extraordinary means, especially her ability to win over her in-laws. Last year, her husband almost got married after dating a female celebrity. Come out and say that there are only daughter-in-laws without sons.I don't know what tricks he used this year, but his husband actually transferred all the property to her name.

Palin always laughed it off when she heard these words. In short, this is her friend and she is dating herself. She knows who is good and who is bad.And in her circle of friends, this kind of pseudo-happiness drama always has to be staged from time to time.Qin and Se sing together and respect each other as guests, and they are talking about the two of them.Her husband's handsomeness is incomparable to that of Jia Na's borrowed boyfriend who died prematurely, and his private life is also very discreet, unlike Miao Ke's husband who often dominates the headlines of the economic and entertainment pages at the same time.

After the women left one after another, Sonia's face became more and more ugly.

Perrin sat on the side and flipped through the newspaper, with a completely different attitude on his face.

Because the son told his little friend that he sleeps with his mother at night and his father sleeps by himself, so just now friends quietly asked her if she had been separated recently.Sonia smiled without admitting or denying it.Where is it that they have been separated recently, they have been separated for many years, almost since they got married.

It is precisely because of Palin's status as a married son-in-law that makes people think so much, and the pink ambiguous bubbles between Sonia and the riding coach, fitness coach, and billiard coach from time to time make people even more suspicious When the sisters gossip, facing everyone's siege, Sonia often smiles triumphantly, "He trusts me, so he doesn't care about me." Clearly.

And teasing abstinent men is also a hobby of women. Knowing that Palin will not respond, the women are just poor and happy, and they still make some harmless jokes from time to time.Palin's witty answers would be conveyed to Sonia's ears by them every time, full of charm and gentlemanly demeanor, which made people feel happy and comfortable.Everyone agreed that Sonia had found the treasure.Those men with prominent family backgrounds may not have such a good temperament. Some sisters even said that the ability of the second-generation ancestors is definitely not one-tenth of Palin's, and sometimes the family background is not accurate.

At this time, Sonia would laugh so hard that she couldn't see her teeth, and in her heart, she hated this man more and more.

Of course she hated it, especially when thinking about how her son got here, Sonia hated it even more.Whenever she dreamed that she was lying under the shadowless lamp again, whenever she remembered that she was a virgin on the operating table for artificial insemination, Sonia would feel that she was an idiot ten years ago.It doesn't hurt to grit your teeth with regret.

The husband indifferently eats, drinks tea, goes upstairs, rests, and the room temperature drops by more than ten degrees, all of which can be tolerated. What is unbearable is that there is no return for his efforts.Qian Peilin is like a bottomless pit, no matter how much warmth is conveyed, it will be exhausted.

Sonia followed Palin angrily, "Qian Peilin, what do you want?" Palin touched the doorknob with his hand, and turned around to look at her with a puzzled look on his face.Sonia picked up the blue and white porcelain vase on the low cabinet at the entrance of the stairs and smashed it at it. The antique smashed on the ground and split into several fragments, and the peonies and birds on it were fragmented with innocent expressions.Palin let out a sigh of relief, feeling a little distressed. It cost nearly 2000 million when the photo was taken, which is several times more than the check that Suo's father gave Li Jia.

Loosely huddled behind the door and looked at his parents through the crack of the door, holding the toy tightly in his hands. He is no longer a child. He already knew that his parents were fighting.

Sonia flew over and tore Palin's head, face, and clothes, "What are you going to do? I can't take it anymore~, I can't take it anymore!" Palin turned his head and grabbed Sonia's wrist with both hands and growled, "What are you doing again? Crazy? Be careful, if you don’t make trouble once in a few days, you won’t feel well, right?” Drag Sonia aside, “Be careful of hurting yourself, what should you do if you step on it?” Sonia fell to the ground Weeping bitterly, covering his face with one hand, "What kind of life am I living?"

The corners of Palin's mouth twitched, he hissed, and lightly patted his cheeks at the picture frame in the aisle. Fortunately, the scars were not obvious, otherwise he would have to explain to Xu Meijing's husband tomorrow, always emphasizing that he was not accused. Niya's domestic violence is also annoying.

Palin squatted beside Sonia, coaxing and persuading her, and finally picked her up and sent her to the bedroom, "Stop making trouble, take some sleeping pills, and sleep well." Putting Sonia on the bed, pulled the quilt over Covering her up, Perrin's palm lightly rubbed Sonia's head, the woman under her palm gradually became quiet, and sometimes sobbed softly, "It's okay, are you in a bad mood recently? Go shopping tomorrow! I heard The jewelry store in Liwan has Cartier limited editions."

Sonia cried and turned around and covered her face with the quilt. Perrin touched her back to comfort her gently, then went out and whispered to the servant to clean up the debris and be careful not to cut her fingers.

This is the love I pursued, this is the man I pick out in a million, and this is the family I worked so hard to manage.

My father once complained, why did all the stubborn people enter Lao Suo's house?She spent nearly ten years sorting out the relationship between the two, but she still hasn't straightened her husband. Obviously, some homosexuals will sleep with women, so why can't his husband.

Back then, he used all means and even climbed onto Palin's bed to seduce him, but that man was so outrageous that he vomited while hugging the toilet.

Sonia stood aside like a fool, watching Palin pass by, and hearing the sound of a man running away in the corridor, but in her mind, what she recalled was the man squatting halfway under the light, gently wiping the skin with the back of his hand. The fragile appearance when the corner of the mouth is stained.

This man is so handsome that it hurts, but also so cold that it hurts.He once said, "Otherwise you and Li Jia are together, he likes women." He splashed coffee on a man's face and roared "What do you think I am?" What he got was just an indifferent smile, as if the subtext was " So what else do you want?" Palin's concession was more a blow than a sympathy, and Sonia's self-esteem suffered a devastating blow that had never been done before, and she couldn't recover from it.

A few months later, when the man was semi-forced by her father to visit her in the villa, Sonia thought it would be nice if she could just touch his finger.The man just stared at her for a long time, "I didn't expect you to be like this." Because of anorexia, Sonia was so thin that she had only a handful of bones left, and she could barely maintain it with glucose. She was so emaciated that even breathing became a burden, and Her current husband, the man who was so close to her back then, apart from filling her mouth with food, would not say anything, "Would you rather watch us love each other in the sky after you die, or live by our side and suffer by yourself?"

Both tenderness and unfeeling are reflected in this man, but to her, he has a fatal attraction.

Sonia climbed out of bed, found a bottle of wine in the corner of the cabinet on all fours, uncorked it, and took a few sips.

Sonia is a little sick because she doesn't get love from her husband.He often wanted to vent, found a substitute lover, and had a few times where the spark of love was almost sparked, but every time Palin cut it off, and used various tricks to clean up those men. "You are my wife, be more self-restrained."

At this point, it feels as if he still cares about himself, not about the status he has by relying on his father, and he wants to maintain the family, not for the money.In recent years, the only little thing that made Palin feel intimate was Songsong, his son.

When the child was crying when he was young, Palin would even ruthlessly say, "It's too noisy, get him away." After four or five years old, the child was always naughty, but Palin was so happy that he kissed again and again, with a permanent smile on his face. Pampering, even things that are forbidden to be touched by others, Song Song will not get half a point of reprimand if he comes out and beats it as a toy.After all, it is his flesh and blood. Sonia wiped her mouth clean, sprayed freshener, staggered to the side of her son's bed, and gently stroked his cheek. She felt that she could live this kind of life again. up.

Palin was extremely exhausted. He went back to the study and opened the drawer to take out a tape. The screen was dark, and only the voice could be heard in a low voice. It was Li Jia's voice, "I will not leave him, I love him. He is the one who pursued me." If you have the ability, let him leave me!" Perrin would stop here, with a smile on his face involuntarily.The tape was given by his father-in-law. He has listened to the entire tape countless times. Li Jia spoke with a confident expression. He only saw it a few times when he was a teenager. He had such a tone before, even if he couldn't see his face, he could still imagine the expression on Li Jia's face, just like when he was a teenager, knowing that he was inferior to himself in everything, but still trying to be brave.

There was no need to listen to the following content, and Palin didn't want to hear it either. After playing back those few sentences repeatedly, Palin took out the tape and put it back in the drawer.This tape will be taken out every once in a while. In the past, I listened to it several times in January, and then once in a few months. It has been two years since the last time I listened to it.