The life of a vegetative cup

There was a gloomy "bang" in the sky, and a muffled thunder rolled over, but it only sounded at the highest place. I am having so much fun with myself. Even for these few days, the water beads are still stuck to the curtain. Lose.

Today, I finally got so angry that I never went out with an umbrella again.

Grandpa will call you on the board!

Putting it in my pocket with one hand, I typed out a bunch of words with the phone in the other hand, and pressed the button. I looked at the sending note that was slowly advancing under the mailbox attachment with the word "Lulu", and couldn't help but face Just brought out a smile.

"Catch the thief!"

There were quite a few people walking in the early morning, and I was among the crowd, when suddenly a woman's angry voice came from behind me.

"A thief robbed my bag! Catch the thief!"

The sound is getting closer.

This girl must have not learned Chinese well when she was a child. Since she was robbed, she should be called a robber instead of a thief, and her behavior should also be classified as robbery rather than theft.

"Hey the one in front! Come and help block him!"

I put my phone back in my pocket, and took a step across to the right, braving the danger of a city management raid, still stubbornly resisting the big truck-style fruit stand that stood firm.

A "huh" on the left brought a gust of wind. Amidst the fluttering wind of my hair that grew past my earlobe, I ran desperately with a lady's satchel in my hand. The young man with a cropped cut turned his head and looked at me in surprise.

The voice of the girl behind was even more furious: "You!!"

I didn't turn my head and didn't look at anyone. Instead, my eyes fell on the various fruits at the fruit stand.

"Bastard!" The girl ran past me and cursed angrily.

I still made loving eye contact with this fruit with a unique shape, a strange aroma, and very close to my heart, and picked up a big one, picked it up and put it in my hand, shaking the weight.

My fingers lightly stroked the thorns that can fully show the domineering body of the fruit of the king, and I gracefully turned sideways.

One hand drags the other hand, kicks back, turns, pulls arms, swings wrists...

"Earthquake! Everyone fucking squats down!"

The few people who walked in front and reacted quickly shrank back. Of course, this included the girl chasing the bag who ran ahead and had no one to help.

The unresponsive ones also stopped and looked around in panic, and then advanced to absolute shock.

"Bang!!"/"Aww!!"

Oye!Lao Tzu clenched his fist in his heart and hit the red heart, a perfect KO!

Passerby and girl: "..."

I clapped my hands, and turned back to face the fruit stand owner who was still wearing a single jacket in the weather that is about to enter winter, stared at me with wide eyes and trembling lips, and pointed to a pile on the stand: "How many oranges?" A catty of money?"

"...five yuan and three catties..."

"It's too expensive, it's cheaper." I looked at him and took out my wallet, "Including the durian just now, I'll give you 30 yuan, and you give me five catties of oranges."

"..."

"That thing was smashed and cracked, and it stinks. If you return it to you, you won't be able to sell it. What a loss." I took out three gray tickets and stuffed them into the boss's hand, "Don't fool me with the weight of oranges, I Get out."

"..."

The owner of the fruit stall shook his body a little bit, and picked up a bag of oranges for me under my strict monitoring. I reached out to take it and tried the weight. What a pure and kind little heart.

"Give me a few more pockets, but this one is too heavy to hold oranges, so I won't miss it later."

Satisfied, I snatched a few more free big plastic bags from the boss. These things are hard to find these days. You have to spend money to buy them in a supermarket. I just got a new home, and there are almost not enough trash cans in the toilet and kitchen. used.

You said that every time I have to try my best to exploit the poor people, is it fucking easy for me?

But when I turned my head, I found that the people around me were all staring at me with strange and strange eyes.

I frowned.

When will the habit of us little people like to join in the fun and watch the crowd fade away?

It's a big deal, let's go, let's go!

But the next moment, when I glanced at the size of the inner space of this circle, I fully realized how narcissistic I was feeling at this time.

Because they looked at me not because I was handsome, but because there was a young man with an inch head lying dead on the street not far from my place, beside him was a durian with a smashed shell and a stinking smell. A girl looked at me blankly.

Why is this girl so familiar?

I endured the stench and walked over, looked at the girl carefully, and said, where did I see her?

It stands to reason that with this little girl's unattractive appearance, it is impossible for me to provoke her even if she is wearing a very smart white-collar suit.

Moreover, it is as thin as a chicken, and there is no meat where there should be meat, so it will definitely not be easy to touch...

Wait, Skinny Chicken...

It seems that Du Yunan has one under his hand?

And also hate the rich?

Just as I was replaying the tape in my mind, carefully recalling the whole process of being despised at the art exhibition, the skinny chick looked at me, then at the "corpse" next to him, trembling: "This... this It won't kill anyone..."

I also lowered my head, and saw that the back of the boy's head was bleeding, and the yellowish thorn shell of the "Ultimate Killer" was a little red.

"Don't worry, the skull is the hardest of all human bones, and I don't have much strength to use it."

"Aren't the hardest front teeth?"

"...I'm talking about bones."

"Aren't front teeth bones?"

I keep silent.

The skinny chicken looked at the back of the young man's bleeding head again, his lips were still white and trembling: "...Is he really not going to die? Don't call an ambulance?"

I also looked at the back of the boy's bleeding head, um, how well he threw it.

Silence... silence... keep silent...

Onlookers...onlookers...still onlookers...

With a long sigh, I squatted down, put the orange aside, held my nose, picked up the leather bag that should be a skinny chick, and opened the zipper with one hand.

"Hey!"

I ignored the skinny chicken's protest, took out the tissues and wallet inside, and opened the wallet. There were only three red tickets and a bunch of change, and I didn't even have a bank card... Really poor.

"What are you doing!" The skinny chicken watched me pull out a [-] green note from her wallet, and hurriedly snatched the wallet and purse from me, glaring at me like a guard: "You take my money What are you doing?"

I looked at her and made a puzzled expression: "Don't you have to be paid for your brave deeds these days?" I still took less because of your poor financial situation.

"!"

I stuffed the money into my pocket, took out a tissue from the tissue bag, looked around again, and picked up a popsicle stick on the side of the road that had been eaten and thrown away.

After poking the "corpse", I said, "Brother, wake up," and poking again, "It's cold, you'll catch a cold if you sleep here."

Passerby and girl: "..."

A weak "□□" finally jumped out from the mouth of the "corpse", not to mention, this young man's physical fitness is quite good.

I made a troublesome "tsk" again, took one out of the plastic pocket in my hand, and shook it to let the air blow in to expand it.

He tightly covered his nose with one hand, and spread out the plastic bag on the ground beside him with the other.

Shake it!It's the king of fruits with this fucking taste!It stinks so much that I almost rolled my eyes. Anyone who likes to eat this stuff has a hairy nose!

I pursed my lips tightly and hid my head in pain. I stretched out my arms and pinched the thorn shell with the nail tips of two fingers. I endured the huge gas biochemical attack and pulled them into my pocket. I took out the other hand from the pocket. On the mobile phone, press the keypad lock to dial the emergency call column.

A number appears on the screen...animals...connecting...

Putting it to my ear, a burst of color ringing passed, and after waiting for a while, the call was connected.

Before the person on the opposite side could speak, I opened my mouth immediately, with a soft and tender smile: "You beast, do you miss me?"

[......]

"I miss you, what are you doing? Don't answer the phone for so long?"

[……in a meeting. ]

"Oh, I'm really sorry to interrupt your time of plotting with your subordinates to make money," I nodded, while pinching another piece of sticky, yellow, blood-stained, soil-stained durian meat through a paper towel and pouring it into the plastic. Putting it in his pocket, "Actually, I have nothing to do with you, I just happened to buy a gift for you on the way to the art exhibition." Finally, there is a place to deal with this "extreme killer weapon".

There was silence on the phone for a while: [But? ]

Look, this beast knows me very well at a glance, and knows how to get straight to the point without us wasting a word of saliva.

I smiled and looked at the young man in front of me who was beginning to regain consciousness: "But, there is a very small problem on the road, you bother to help me solve it?"

There was another silence: [Where are you? ]

"It's in front of the art exhibition, under the overpass on the way to the east after passing the residential area." I looked up and looked around, and more and more people began to point and whisper to me, "The target is easy to find. , as soon as I come, I guarantee you will see it."

[...I'll find someone to go there. ]

"Oh, it's really hard work for you." With the phone tucked between my shoulders, I tightly fastened the plastic bag containing the durians and sealed it tightly with both hands. "Then I'll leave it alone."

[it is good. ]

Throwing away the tissue, sniffing the smell on your fingers, curling your lips: "Then hang up."

[…Ash. ]

I stuffed the durian pocket into the hand of the skinny chicken, stood up with the orange in one hand under her stare, and took the phone with the free hand: "Is there anything wrong?"

Zhao Juntong paused again: [Let's have dinner together in the evening. ]

I laughed: "It depends on the situation, Bai Bai."

Turned off the phone, glanced at the skinny chick who was still staring at me, and stuffed the durian bag into her hand: "Are you going to Yunan's place too?" Then took out a tissue and wiped his hands carefully, then flicked his fingers to go The taste and the smell were finally satisfactory, so I took out an orange from my pocket and slowly opened it: "I'm going too, let's go together." She always stared like this without fear of her eyes getting out of the frame.

The skinny chicken was carrying the stinky durian, and said contemptuously: "You irresponsible rich second generation! You are still lying here, so you just sent it away?!"

I squeezed out of the crowd in various sights, broke off a piece of orange, put it in my mouth, and chewed it: "Otherwise, what else do you want?"

The efficiency of that beast is high, you don't have to worry about him not being able to deal with the problem in time.

What's more, there are such a group of onlookers nearby, and it is not difficult to call an ambulance.

The skinny chicken also squeezed out of the crowd and followed me, pointing furiously, "No matter what immoral things you do, you can settle them with just one phone call! Are you proud!"

Sister, if I remember correctly, what I did just now was a good thing, right?Didn't I help you get the bag back?You don't appreciate my help, Mao Shidao.

"What I hate the most are you playboys who spend all day doing nothing but eating and waiting to die!"

I swallowed the orange, broke off another piece and put it in my mouth, continued to chew, I wiped it, the boss still had a conscience, it was so sweet.

The skinny chick girl held the durian and looked at me with a look of contempt: "With the influence of the family, you can do whatever you want! Young people with arms and legs can't do anything, they have to be social moths!"

"We are a relationship society here. You get promoted through the exam and get rich." I motioned her to come over, and threw the leftover orange peels in the trash can on the side of the road. "It all depends on relationships. If you have relationships, don't wait It's moldy?"

"If everyone thinks like you, it's no wonder our country can still make progress!" The skinny chicken still glared.

"The ones that were once wealthy should go back to the past, the ones that are now wealthy should maintain the status quo, and the ones that have never been wealthy should be innovated, probably so, probably!" I took out another orange and peeled it, turned to look at her, and gave her a piece of orange, "Are you sure? It has never been rich."

The skinny chicken grabbed the orange and threw it into the trash can on the side, and continued to resent: "Don't mock me with Mr.'s words! Do you think you are still reasonable?"

"No," I ate a slice of orange myself. This one was sweeter than the one just now. It was a pity that I threw that one away for her. "Our immediate priorities are: first, survival, second, food and clothing, and third, development."

I looked at the car that appeared at the entrance of the building where the painting exhibition was not far away, and the person standing quietly leaning against the car: "I haven't even solved the problem of survival, what kind of development and progress do I want?"

"Ok?"

"You go in first, don't throw the durian away for me, it's a gift for my evil beast."

"What! You just gave away this rotten durian?!"

The skinny chicken twitched the corners of his mouth, and looked me up and down for a long time. I had a handsome face and a fearless spirit, and walked forward under the intense staring of her weird eyes. He said hello: "Mr. Su, long time no see, do you want to eat oranges?"

Su Hangwen raised his eyelids, and those eyes without fireworks looked at me quietly for a while through the lens, and then showed that ethereal and indifferent smile.

Sure enough, inorganic organisms are still inorganic organisms, which are different from our organic organisms.

Sometimes I really want to lubricate him with some engine oil, otherwise I'm afraid that he won't be able to turn his head and lower his chin because of the rattling.

"Jian Mingxi, can we talk?"

I leaned gracefully and turned around to hold Tangerine's wrist. I followed the standard court etiquette of French aristocrats according to the movements I learned on TV, and looked at him with a smile: "The leader has an order, why don't we scumbags hurry up?" service?"