I only like you as a paper man

"Are you ready?"

"Ready--!!!"

"Did Mr. Dostoevsky discover it?"

"Please don't worry, I feel that even if the master didn't find out, he should have expected it. After all, the master is like a god who knows everything..."

"According to this, we shouldn't prepare any birthday surprise party for Tuo Sijun!"

"No, Gogol, we prepared a surprise party for him, and at most he would take it for granted and dismiss it. Although he certainly doesn't care if there is one, but what if! What if he thinks there is, but actually there isn't... I I'm afraid that he will become more and more distorted, and finally start to take revenge on the society!"

"But Chacha, we, the Five Decays of Heaven and Man, are originally a terrorist organization assembled by criminals."

"I mean, I'm afraid that his brain will suddenly want to take revenge on the society of this world."

"Please rest assured, Miss Chacha, the master will not do meaningless things."

"...So he didn't help me arrange Fei Jia's kiss a few days ago because he thought it was meaningless!?"

(*Note: Arrangement refers to the behavior of using related IP or peripheral products of characters—such as badges, pendants, stand cards, postcards, etc., to put together and take pictures to commemorate.)

"I don't think it has anything to do with 'whether it makes sense'...Miss Chacha, no matter who puts up their own battles, they will feel a little embarrassed, right?"

"But I think Mr. Dazai will be very high, Sigma baby!"

"That's because my formation looks much more expensive than Fyodor's! As long as you put it out, it's like winning!"

"Mr. Dazai, why did you sneak into the birthday party of the members of the enemy organization?"

"Because Fyodor and I are still inmates rounded up! Are you going to kick me out of the birthday party?"

"I think the combined efforts of Gogol, Baby Sigma, and Mr. Ivan can still carry you out."

"It's too troublesome to carry it out, why don't you throw him out of the window, Chacha!"

"...This is the 27th floor. If you fall, you will die, right?"

"Baby Sigma, haven't you figured out Mr. Dazai's pee nature! He would be happy if he fell to his death!"

"Then, my humble servant will help throw Miss Chacha."

"Wait, why me!?"

"Because, I heard that the dream of the master's opponent is to die in love with a woman. If this can help the master eliminate the opponent, the only way is to ask Miss Chacha to sacrifice herself for the master."

"I don't want it!?"

"Miss Chacha, since we have the same thoughts about Master, then we should..."

"It's not that I don't have one! I just like paper figures!"

"...I suspect that Ivan will call you a fake fan in the next second, Chachahahahahahaha!"

"You laugh too loud Gogol!"

"Oh, it's been more than three months, and Chacha still doesn't want to die in love with me."

"...Who wants to die for love with you! I don't even want to be beaten to death!"

"Then, what if you exchanged 50 of your favorite Fyodor's 35 theater badges?"

"...Please let me think about it."

"Miss Chacha, don't fall into the enemy's trap easily!"

"You're right baby Sigma, I will never be fooled by Mr. Dazai!"

"Speaking of which, I've been thinking about it for a long time. What's that oversized box over there?"

"It's my birthday present to Mr. Dostoevsky, Mr. Dazai."

"...Such a big box, did you send a stuffed Siberian bear?"

"Siberian bear stuffed... sounds so expensive! Besides, it's too difficult to deal with. It's almost the same as giving him an old mouse book! You should be satisfied with a birthday gift!!!"

"Chachachacha wwww giving away the old mouse book, I feel like I'm cursing him wwww, after all, Tuo Sijun often calls himself a mouse—!"

"Isn't it? He has too many nicknames, such as the cold gopher, the Siberian rat, and the weak leader of the rat... It's cute, and I like it."

"Speaking of which, it's almost time. I think Tuo Sijun should be about to take a shower and go upstairs—"

"It's almost there! At that time, we will use this spray gun barrel together. Even Mr. Dostoevsky must have never celebrated his birthday like this!"

"But as far as I know, this seems to be the most common way to celebrate a birthday...?"

"That's why I said he must have never been celebrated like this before!"

"So that's it. What Miss Chacha said makes sense."

"Okay, Mr. Dazai will be in charge of turning on the lights. If you don't do your job well, I'll call everyone and throw you out of the window in a while! Is there any problem?"

"Yes, yes, yes -! I still have a question -!"

"Say Gogol, do you have any questions?"

"What if Tuo Sijun, who is super weak later, is shocked and goes into shock!"

"……good question."

"Wait a minute, Miss Chacha, Mr. Gogol...Mr. Hasebe sent a message in the group, saying that Mr. Tuosi is sitting on the sofa and reading a book. It seems that he won't be going upstairs for a while."

"Sorry, I would like to ask, what group is this?"

"This is the only group without Mr. Radostoyevsky."

"Exclude foreigners! Ah, I accidentally forgot, I am also a foreigner—!"

"But I also..."

"Because... if Mr. Dostoevsky asked you, you would definitely tell the whole chat history!?"

"That's true, as long as the master gives an order—"

"So I didn't pull you, who asked you to wear a pair of trousers with Mr. Dostoevsky."

"How can I, He De, wear the same pair of trousers as my master."

"...Why are you wearing the same pair of pants?"

"This is a Chinese saying, Baby Sigma, which means that the two have the same interests."

"I don't do it for profit..."

"Okay, that's it! Stop! Let's solve the problem at hand first, shall we? Who can bring Mr. Dostoevsky here?"

"..."

"........."

"Chacha, I think you are the only one who can bring Tuo Sijun here!"

"Hey, isn't Mr. Dazai okay?"

"I refuse! I don't want to! Why should I celebrate Fyodor's birthday?"

"Who ran to the enemy camp on the second floor without incident first!"

"That's because I want to see Fyodor's frightened expression when he sees me here!!!"

"Grass……!"

"Well, I also think that only Miss Chacha is capable of this task."

"Okay, since Baby Sigma has said so, then I will try my best to trick him!"

"Should I tell you at this time, be careful not to be deceived by the other party?"

……

"Mr. Dostoevsky!"

"……What's up?"

"Well, the light in the corridor on the second floor is broken, I dare not go up by myself...Can you go up with me to have a look?"

"Do you need me to call Hasebe-kun for you?"

"Hasebe-kun is already asleep!"

"...Look, the Gravitator is right there, how about finding him?"

"You just want to shirk the errand?"

"That's true... It's better to say that calling the person in the room on the second floor on the stairs can solve the problem, and you came to me specifically. Is there any reason why you must let me go upstairs now?"

"Because I'm afraid of ghosts."

"...?"

"What would I do if I called Gogol's name on the second floor and the ghost answered me!"

"Do you remember, Chacha?"

"what?"

"What you said last time when you forced me to watch a horror movie with you."

"What did I say?"

"...you say: 'Because Mr. Dostoevsky is more terrifying than ghosts, if you do this you won't be afraid!'"

"Did I said wrong thing?"

"You are not wrong, so I will not accompany you this time."

"..."

"Excuse me, why are you hugging my leg?"

"I want to see if I can carry your princess up to the second floor."

"...?"

"I can try it! I can! I can definitely do it!!! Although the weak Fei Jiaqin will definitely not be able to hug me, but if I work hard, maybe I can hug my Feijiaqin! Just right Please lend me an experiment, Monsieur Dostoevsky."

"The weight of the piece of paper is negligible."

"...No, although Fei Jiaqin is just a piece of paper, it still has weight! Don't move!! I--will--can--hold--your-princess-lord -up-come-up-"

"What are you doing???"

"Mr. Chuya, I'm trying to give the princess a hug!"

"How can this be hugged!!! He is 30 centimeters taller than you!"

"...If Mr. Nakaya can use his abilities, can't I hug his princess?"

"Oh, that's true. But you can't use abilities in this world... Wait a minute, don't use other people's abilities to do this kind of thing!?"

"Well, Mr. Dostoevsky didn't move an inch, but if you keep sitting here I'm going to start harassing you."

"...I'm a little curious, how are you going to harass me?"

"I'll go to the room now and find the Dostoy novel I bought before and read it aloud to you... Hey, Mr. Dostoevsky, why did you get up from the sofa immediately!?"

"...At this point, it's time to sleep."

……

"Happy birthday!"

"Happy birthday Tuo Sijun——"

"Happy birthday, my master."

"Happy Birthday--Happy Quick Pick Bento Majin--"

"...?"

"Wow! Tuo Sijun put on an expression of 'Why are you here'!"

"Are you surprised? Yes, this sense of surprise is my birthday present to you, Fyodor."

"...Have you been infected by Tsurumaru Kuninaga, Dazai-kun?"

"Tuosijun Tuosijun, this is my birthday present to you!"

"Thank you."

"Take it apart!"

“………………….”

"How about Tuo Sijun, do you like it?"

"... Mr. Gogol, may I ask why it is empty inside?"

"This gift box is a cage. When Tuo Sijun opened it, the gift turned into a free bird and flew away...how! This sense of freedom!! This feeling of breaking through the cage!! I think Tuo Sijun will definitely like it!!!”

"……thanks."

"Sorry, Tuo Sijun, I just retraveled today, so I didn't have time to prepare a gift."

"Please don't take it to heart, Mr. Sigma. The gift is just a form of celebration and expression of heart. Don't worry about it. It's better that you are safe and sound than anything else."

"Master, this is a gift I specially prepared for you. Although I really want to see the appearance of the master opening the gift I prepared for you, I am worried that the sharp blades such as scissors will scratch the master's fair skin, so I will take it apart for you. Open it... You see, this is a new teacup specially prepared for the master, I hope the master will like it."

"Thank you...it's very similar to the one I like in Russia, so I'm interested."

"...Why do you look at me, Mr. Dostoevsky? Do you think I will prepare a present for you?"

"I'm not looking at you, I'm looking at the box behind you."

"Oh, oh... well, so you're not looking at me..."

"Such a big box...is there a new refrigerator in it, or a bear?"

"Heh, since you asked the question sincerely, I will answer you mercifully—that's right! This is my birthday present to you, Mr. Dostoevsky!! Do you like it!!! "

"...I haven't opened it yet."

"Then you can dismantle it now! Come on, I have prepared the scissors and paper cutter for you!"

"Ivan, you..."

"No, no, Mr. Dostoevsky, you must open it yourself! It's dishonest to ask others to open the gift for you!!!"

“Okay……………………… Chacha, can you explain why there is still a box inside the box?”

"You continue to disassemble."

"...It's still a box."

"continue!"

"box."

"continue."

"box."

"Please."

………………

"So, you packed this one hat with more than 20 boxes?"

"Hahahahaha!! You should be relieved, Fyodor, at least it's not empty inside."

"...Please don't interrupt, Dazai-kun. So, Chacha, although you have been smiling from ear to ear, I don't think you did such a thing just because you want to punish me, right? "

"Of course Mr. Dostoevsky! I think... you don't care about the content of the gift anyway, so I worked hard on the packaging. Since you are Russian, I used Russian dolls The way to wrap gifts! Surprised or surprised! I think you will like it——!"

"...Huh, it's indeed a little surprising, should I praise it?"

"Yeah! I did it!!! I'm going to use this method to soak Fedya next time!!! Mr. Dostoevsky, put on this hat and see!"

"It's almost the same as my original one. Huh? What is this? Why are there two extra straps beside the brim...?"

"Look, look, use it like this!"

"Hahahahahahaha what is this wwwwww why do you press the bottom of the strap and the ear next to the hat will fly up wwwww I want to play I want to play too!!!!"

"Come on, come on!"

……

"...can you stop? Each of you has been pinching the ears on both sides of this hat on my head to fly rhythmically from side to side for 5 minutes."

"Hahahahahahaha Fyodor is like a toy in the middle!"

"Such a master has a special charm!"

"I think it's time for cake."

"...Thank you, Sigma-kun."

"Lighter lighter!"

"No lighter! Look at my—"

"Wow, Gogol, why did you snap your fingers and the candle ignited!"

"Because I'm a clown—"

"He secretly learned some magic tricks a few days ago."

"Hey, why did you expose me, Ivan!"

"Sing Happy Birthday before blowing out the candles, shall we? Mr. Dostoevsky, can you sing alone? I want to hear Akira Ishida sing."

"...Please allow me to refuse."

"Is it okay for everyone to sing together?"

"Okay, just listen to Sigma! So here's the problem—"

"what is the problem?"

"Should we sing Chinese, Japanese or Russian?"

"... Good question."

"Is English good enough?"

"Wait a minute! I have a proposal!"

"Mr. Dazai, tell me."

"Because Fyodor often says that he is a mouse, why don't we all sing and meow like a cat!"

"Hahahahaha—are you trying to compare whether you vomit first or Tuo Sijun first?"

"... Makes sense. Woohoo, it's scary to think about it, so let's forget it."

"English is fine."

"Alright, alright, since I have spoken, let's all sing together—"

"Happy birthday to you..."

"Well, Mr. Dostoevsky, it's time for you to blow out the candles and make a wish!"

"……call."

"Tuo Si Jun Tuo Si Jun, what wish did you make?"

"Wishes are ineffective when they are spoken."

"Hey, I didn't expect you to believe such a thing, Fyodor."

"...I know, I know, Mr. Dostoevsky's wish must be: to tear Dazai with his hands, world peace, human happiness and so on!"

"Hahahaha I think it's right!"

"Don't look at me with that look, I won't answer."

"Master, please eat cake."

"...Thank you, Ivan."

"Fyodor Fyodor, did you know that cakes are made to hit people!"

"Please apologize to pastry chefs all over the world."

"Tuo Si Jun Tuo Si Jun!"

"……Um?"

"Mr. Gogol... What a formidable technique, he was able to smash a cake on Tuo Sijun's face in an instant..."

"Ah... the master's cheeks covered with cream are so perfect...!"

"... Please allow me to wash my face."

"For your birthday's sake, let me help you, Mr. Dostoevsky! Don't worry, I will never take the opportunity to make trouble!"

"...No, thank you, please don't follow me, Chacha."

"But you can't see the way with cream all over your face...ah, look, you've hit a wall."

……

So, just like that, the great devil Dostoevsky had the most memorable birthday in his life, bar none.

Let's wish him a happy birthday together -!