Travels

——Some people say that being ordinary is the only answer. Xia Wanmu now understands that it's not that she can't accept being ordinary, but that she can't accept this kind of ordinary.

Xia Wanmu has never spent such a long day, time seems to be against her, the clock numbers on the mobile phone seem to freeze and stop beating, but she feels that it is not only the minutes and seconds that are rusted, but also herself.

There are only a few audiences in the huge theater, and the virtual love story is constantly being shown on the screen in front of you. The protagonist's emotions are like a slide transition. Xia Wanmu is sitting in the center of the theater with snacks in his arms, looking at the screen indifferently The men and women here tell each other their hearts.In the closed dark room, someone was immersed in the fictional plot. Following the emotional ups and downs of the characters in the movie, she watched an audience member in the front row take out a tissue and wipe it from the corner of her eye. She felt that this world was as absurd as this bad movie. through.The revulsion came so violently and quickly that she even felt absurd for coming here to watch a romantic movie.

Xia Wanmu hates watching romantic movies. In less than two hours, with more than a dozen episodes of getting along with each other, the coincidence to the bizarre storyline can create a beautiful love story of "a couple born in heaven" and "it's all about you".She knows that she can't criticize a virtual entertainment product, but the realistic and utilitarian emotions she has experienced make her extremely disgusted with all things that try to disguise the beauty of love.

She turned her head to look at the people beside her. Sen Ming's face was hidden in the dark room and she couldn't see clearly. Only the occasional flashes of white light on the screen showed the man's serious expression.Xia Wanmu stared at the man's neat side face for a long time, feeling like waves were rising and falling in his heart.

She didn't want to come here to watch this kind of movie at this time, but it's not easy for two people to get along, especially when the second half of life is still so long.She and Sen Ming's hobbies are very different. If they live together in the future, they must compromise with each other until they become the most suitable for each other.But the fact is that Sen Ming may be happy to cooperate with her, but once she thinks of going to make do with him like this in the future, it simply makes her hair stand on end.

In the final analysis, her love is not with him, but has long been left elsewhere. Because of this, it is difficult for her to make even a little sacrifice.She knew very well that the movie was just a cover, a trick, and she was getting tired of this relationship day by day, especially after receiving Sheng Huang's invitation.

She thought boredly, if this is the case, why bother to hold him back?She is very tired, and she doesn't want to do self-deception anymore. She is so obsessed with someone, so go after him. If you want to smash your body to pieces, that's better than making jade into pieces.

Just thinking of what kind of expression the man around her would show after knowing such an ending made her feel uncomfortable.

"Will you walk with me?"

Seeing that he was about to go downstairs to the apartment, Xia Wan, who had been sitting quietly in the co-pilot, suddenly made a sound.Sen Ming turned his head to look at her unexpectedly, and found that her pale face was solemn, and her watery eyes were staring straight at somewhere on the windshield, and she did not look at him as usual.

"Then let's go to the old place." Sen Ming turned on the turn signal with confusion, and the car slowly turned left and drove onto another road. It was getting dusk, and the setting sun cast an orange-red light on the horizon. The light curtain struggled. Spread as much as possible, but still can't dye the whole sky red, just like the ink that accidentally dripped into the basin, it can only blend into this blank space and disappear without a trace.

The old place was a large park not far from the apartment. Sen Ming parked the car nearby and walked slowly there with Xia Wanmu.In the evening of early autumn, the park is very lively. Several couples holding hands are walking on the outer corridor. Under the shade of the trees, the old people have already stood in line. warm up.A little farther away, at the fountain in the center of the park, children are running and frolicking in the wide square. Occasionally, a few pet dogs of different coat colors meet, and the dogs bark together, accompanied by loud scolding from the owners, which is a world of fireworks. .

The two walked silently, with a distance between them, Xia Wanmu's lips were tightly lined, and the afterglow of the setting sun reflected on her white and delicate skin, like a psychedelic veil.In this relationship, when she said nothing, she always gave people a sense of extreme alienation and strangeness. Sen Ming's heart tightened, and he couldn't help holding her hand.

"What's wrong? Something on your mind?" His broad palm wrapped the woman's warmth and delicateness, and his thumb couldn't help rubbing against the warm jade-like back of his hand.

Xia Wanmu stopped in her tracks.Her hand twitched slightly, and she didn't like the feeling of being imprisoned, even though the person who touched her was full of love and tolerance towards her.The man's rough palms were slightly sweaty, it was unknown whether it was because of the sultry air or nervousness, the hot and sticky touch was amplified by the disgust, and spread along the palms to the whole body, making her breathless.

Xia Wanmu forced a smile, and it took too much effort to raise the corners of her bloodless lips.Her complexion was very pale, and she felt a sense of weakness and powerlessness in her whole body, but those dark eyes were terribly bright, and she stared at him for a moment.

"Not long before watching the movie, you asked me where I was, and I said I met two friends."

"Actually not. People from Shenghuang came to me a few days ago and wanted to sign me while my contract expired. I ran into him at the entrance of the mall."

Her tone was straight without any ups and downs, but there was a tremolo at the end of the word. He could almost feel her trembling teeth and the quivering air in her throat.

In the southern cities, the evening breeze that belongs to summer is always nostalgic and refuses to leave, and survives tenaciously in seasons that do not belong to itself.The wind carries the residual warmth of heat and envelops the dry air. It uses up most of its strength on the way to shuttle, and when it hits the faces of passers-by, there is only a slight amount of strength left, and it blows gently.

Xia Wanmu paused against the wind for a while, and didn't speak for a long time, as if afraid that the evening wind would blow away those scattered and embarrassing thoughts, and also blow away the courage to confess.

Sen Ming also kept silent with interest, as clever as he was, he opened up the joints in a short while, and the dust settled, but he had a sense of transparency that he knew beforehand. Maybe this relationship came too easily, and it was also good for him. It was not real enough, so at this moment, there was no due surprise and loss at all.

"Just because you want to go back, doesn't mean we have to break up." After a long time, he said slowly, "There are still many other ways, right?"

Xia Wanmu looked at him, the persistent look in his eyes did not waver.

His face darkened, and the smile he couldn't hide as long as he was by her side was completely removed.This gentle, humorous and good-tempered man seemed to be pushed to the bottom line, and for the first time showed negative emotions that they had never had in the few years they had known each other.Those eyes that were always peaceful, always full of love and doting towards her, were now restless and slightly angry, holding her tightly and nailing her in place.

The corners of Xia Wanmu's eyes were a little red, and there was a stubborn light in her black and white eyes that dazzled her eyes. She didn't say a word, but that stubborn expression had already exposed everything.

After a long time, as if admitting defeat, Sen Ming took a deep breath, gritted his teeth and said word by word: "I don't have any demands on you, and I am willing to wait forever. Can you think about it carefully? No So hasty to make a decision."

Xia Wanmu turned his face away, not daring to look at him again.She forced a cold posture, but her voice kept trembling.

"You know the end will be the same if you go on like this. A relationship cannot be maintained by one party making concessions all the time." She paused, trying to keep her breathing steady, "Even if you can do it, I can't bear to accept you so shamelessly unilaterally." Endless giving."

The second half of the sentence was intermittent, and she paused many times before trying to complete the sentence, her emotions had already collapsed and out of control.

"I don't want to...I don't allow myself to be that kind of person."

Sen Ming stared at her steadfastly, hiding his face and holding back his tears, pity still couldn't be restrained from growing out of his empty heart.He knew that this person had such a distant and distant heart that no matter how long he traveled, he couldn't touch it. Every approach was an illusion, her ruthless disguise and charity.She is the shadow of the moon that cannot be caught on the water, and the wind that cannot be grasped in the cloudy sky. It is ridiculous that he thought how lucky he was, that he could keep her only with his love and wishful sacrifice.No, maybe he had a chance before, but it was just God's will, and now, even if he still has the strength to continue chasing willingly, she will not stop and wait for him.

The sun was slowly sinking on the edge of the horizon, the two stood silently facing each other, and strangers around them kept coming and going.Xia Wanmu raised her head and stared at the fading sunset, feeling suddenly desolate and bewildered that the day was coming to an end.But the crowd not far away was very lively, and the loud background music of the square dance rang harshly. Everyone was happy, only the two of them stood here miserable, so deserted.

Why are humans so keen on hurting others?Not to mention how this man treated her well without asking for anything in return.At this moment, she yearns for Sen Ming's happiness more than anyone else, but she can't sacrifice her own happiness to fulfill his happiness no matter what.

People are always so selfish.

"Is there anyone or something you can't let go of?" Sen Ming asked softly, interrupting her thoughts, "I have known you for the past few years, I don't think you are someone who loves fame and loves to be sought after. Going back to the entertainment industry, you have to take a risk. The risk must be greater than I imagined, what makes you willing to give up everything you have accumulated over the years and go back?"

Xia Wanmu didn't expect him to hit her mind so quickly.

"Yes, there is one person who has been bothering me." After being silent for a while, she finally confessed completely that she owes this person too much, at least she can't say goodbye to him with lies, "I want to go back and ask her to clarify , Why did you give up on me like that back then."

Sen Ming smiled, full of self-deprecation.

"Then that person must be very important to you, at least much more important than me."

Xia Wanmu was suddenly so resented by him that he was speechless for a while.

Sen Ming sighed, and frowned and smiled at her. This expression didn't match his handsome face, and it looked a little funny. Xia Wanmu saw it, his heart seemed to be tightly pinched by a big hand, and he felt uncomfortable and couldn't breathe.

"Okay, just kidding, don't take it seriously. I know you have tried hard and tried to walk down with me." His eyes were gentle, like the most pleasant cool breeze caressing her face, which immediately brought tears to her eyes , "I'm not good enough, not as good as the person in your heart, I don't blame you, everyone has the freedom to pursue better."

"I won't kidnap you morally. You don't owe me anything. We have all worked hard, but feelings are not something that can be achieved through hard work."

The man leaned over and gently hugged her shoulders.

"Now my dream is shattered, but I sincerely hope that you can get what you want. Mumu, please work hard."

This embrace, which had always made her feel resistant, was now terribly warm. She leaned on the man's solid chest, tears pouring out uncontrollably.Like a traveler who has trekked in the desert for too long and finally arrived at the end, she let go of her guard and shook off all the tiredness, hardship and misery in this embrace.It's been ten years, my love has betrayed me, I've lost everything, I've bumped into walls everywhere and suffered with cold eyes.In the face of these pains, she never showed weakness or gave in, nor did she shed a single tear, but the strength she had always relied on was crushed in one fell swoop by a loving and tolerant embrace at this time.

The author has something to say: the one who stays up late is the dog