Feng Laiyi
Chapter 37 Mother Qin "Trains" Little Swallow
Although the layer of window paper between the two has been pierced, He Chun and Fu Kang'an are still respectful and indifferent when they meet, but occasionally when their eyes meet each other, they will raise the corners of their mouths in unison, which is like a Platonic style. She is very satisfied with her "love" style and purity, and she knows that compared to many women in this era, she has been favored by heaven.
There is a little warmth and sweetness here, but a "disaster" has begun at Little Swallow.
The next day when Little Swallow went to study in the study, early in the morning, when she was still in a dream and giggling, Mother Qin, who had received Qianlong's order, brought two guards to Shufangzhai, and a room full of servants hurried over After seeing the ceremony, Nanny Qin is a big celebrity around the empress dowager, who would dare to neglect her?
"Where is Princess Huanzhu?" Mother Qin asked after looking at the people in the room, but she didn't see the figure of Little Swallow.
"Going back to Nanny, Gege hasn't got up yet." Mingyue replied tremblingly.
Nanny Qin frowned and asked, "What's the matter? Ge Ge is not feeling well?"
"Return to Mammy, Gege is in good health." This time it was Caixia who answered, she and Mingyue are maids responsible for the daily life of Little Swallow.
"If that's the case, why hasn't Gege woke up yet?" Mother Qin raised her voice. In fact, it's not too early for her to come. The princes and daughters in the palace need to greet the empress dowager and queen every day. Yes, the Empress Dowager is not in the palace now, she calculated that Little Yanzi must have come back from Kunning Palace to greet her, but she didn't expect to get such an answer.
After listening to Qin Nanny's words, everyone in the room silenced, no one dared to speak, even Mingyue Caixia also shut up. Seeing this scene, Qin Nanny already guessed the situation. Since entering the palace, she has never asked the empress how to greet her. She has no idea of such a thing. The concubine Ling never mentioned this when she taught her the rules. I don't know if she forgot or something else. There is a reason.
"I'm going to ask Grid to get up." After a moment of silence, Mingyue opened her mouth.
"No need." Mother Qin called out to Mingyue Caixia, who was about to turn around and walk to Little Swallow's bedroom, "Since Gege hasn't gotten up yet, I'll wait here until she gets up, and you can go about your own affairs. "
Mingyue Caixia didn't dare to disobey, so she had to agree, and everyone dispersed. Mother Qin didn't sit down, she stood straight in the middle of the hall, and occasionally someone passed by her with her head bowed and her steps fast.
Little Yanzi didn't wake up until the sun was high, and called Mingyue Caixia to come in and wash herself up. After cleaning up, Mingyue said, "Gege, Mother Qin has been waiting outside for half a day."
"Mother Qin?" Little Yanzi was stunned for a moment, not knowing who she was, she asked, "Who is she?"
"Going back to Gege, Nanny Qin is with the Empress Dowager, so you can't be neglected." Seeing Little Yanzi's bewildered expression, Mingyue replied.
"Understood." Little Yanzi waved her hand and said, thinking that she is a servant of the Queen Mother, so am I still afraid that she will fail?Seeing Little Swallow's indifferent face, Mingyue Caixia shut up, Mingyue had already said the reminder, and there was nothing Little Swallow could do if she didn't listen to them.
After dawdling for a while, little Yanzi stood up and walked out the door. After a while, she saw Mother Qin standing in the hall. Little Yanzi saw that she was upright, with a very serious expression, and her eyes were cold when she appeared. Staring at her coldly, piercing her body like a sharp sword made her feel uncomfortable. In her heart, she immediately classified Nanny Qin as a "bad guy". The "vicious" Nanny Rong.
"My maidservant greets Huanzhu Gege, Gege is auspicious." Mother Qin saw the little Yanzi approaching, and saluted respectfully, and the two guards behind her also knelt down. Ergu and Bayan's eyes were pure and introverted, their temples were slightly protruding, they seemed to be better masters than the Saiwei Saiguang brothers they had seen, and they felt more vigilant in their hearts.
"You are Mother Qin, right? Get up, what are you doing here today?" Little Yanzi sat down on the chair and said carelessly.
"Returning to Ge Ge, the servant is following the emperor's order to teach Ge Ge the 'rules'." Mother Qin stood up, looked at the little swallow expressionlessly and said.
Little Yanzi remembered what Qianlong once said about sending someone to teach her palace rules in a single day, and murmured in her heart: "It's not good for Huang Ama to find someone to come, but I chose a fierce old woman. It looks like I'm with that nasty queen, and I'm not sure how to punish me..." She didn't like the rigid rules in the academy, and hated this mother Qin when she met for the first time. It was the boss's displeasure, but remembering what Qianlong said that he would only take her out of the palace if he had learned the rules, he could only suppress his dissatisfaction, rolled his eyes, looked at Borgu and Bayan and said, "Why do you Are the two also here to teach Ben Gege how to behave?"
Borgu and Bayan didn't answer, and Nanny Qin said neither humble nor overbearing: "Return to Gege, the emperor said, I am afraid that Gege will be happy for a while, and go up to the pillars and eaves. , so as to ensure that Ge Ge will not be hurt."
Little Yanzi understands that Qianlong not only found a master for himself, but also found two helpers for this master who can control him. Looking at the tall and burly Borgu and Bayan, Little Yanzi groaned secretly.
"Mother Qin, I feel a little uncomfortable today, how about..." Little Yanzi put her hand on her forehead and said pretending to be uncomfortable.
"Since Gege is unwell..." Mother Qin said calmly, hearing this, Little Swallow was overjoyed, thinking that her "strategy" had succeeded, she didn't want Mother Qin to turn her head and say to Mingyue Caixia: "You don't have to go to the imperial hospital and ask the imperial doctor to come over!"
Little Yanzi was taken aback, she was in good health and nothing happened, but she just wanted to find an excuse to shirk, if she called the imperial doctor to come over for diagnosis and treatment, would she still have missed something?Quickly called Mingyue Caixia to stop, and said: "It's not that serious, I don't need to call the imperial doctor, I just need to rest and I'll be fine."
"Absolutely not!" Mother Qin said decisively: "Ge Ge is a body of golden branches and jade leaves, so you can't be sloppy at all, you two hurry up!" The last sentence was directed at Mingyue Caixia.
"Stop!" Little Swallow was in a hurry, jumped up and ran over to stop Mingyue Caixia, looked at Mother Qin and shouted: "I felt a little dizzy just now, but I'm fine now, I'm fine! No need to ask Yu Healed!"
"It's better to be safe." Mother Qin still insisted.
"I'm really fine!" Little Swallow shouted, "Didn't you come to teach me how to behave? Let's start now."
Mother Qin didn't really intend to ask Mingyue Caixia to invite the imperial physician, but she just wanted to hear what Little Yanzi said, so she said unhurriedly: "My servant knows that Gege is actually not feeling well, you just have 12 points in your heart. I don't want to learn the rules, so I want to find an excuse to drive the servants away, but the servants are doing things according to the order, and they can't take into account whether you like it or not. The emperor has orders, and the servants dare not disobey the orders. , if Ge Ge can study hard, the slaves can get off work sooner, and Ge Ge can get rid of the slaves earlier, so please don’t push back and hold back. "
What Mother Qin said was methodical and logical, Little Yanzi was speechless to refute, sighed helplessly, and said, "Forget it, what's 'Gege' and 'servant' said a lot, it's like a tongue twister It seems, in short, I can't let it go."
"Before teaching Gege how to behave, the servant has to ask Gege something first." After the episode ended, Mother Qin asked Little Yanzi: "After Gege enters the palace, do you have to go to Kunning Palace every day to say hello? "
"Say hello? What kind of hello?" Little Swallow asked puzzled.
Mother Qin said to Little Swallow expressionlessly: "In the harem, all unmarried princesses and Gege need to go to the Palace of Compassion and Kunning to greet the Empress Dowager and Empress Dowager before Chenshi. The Empress Dowager is now In Mount Wutai, therefore there is no need to go to the Palace of Compassion and Ning for the time being, but the daily greetings at Kunning Palace are still the same, and because of this, the servants came to Shufangzhai after Chenshi today, but they listened to Gege's side The maid said that you haven't gotten up yet, don't tell me you never went to greet the empress?"
"Why should I go?!" Little Yanzi yelled again, thinking that Nanny Qin was indeed on the queen's side, "What do you mean? Are you questioning me, accusing me?"
"I don't dare." Facing the little swallow who was about to jump violently, Mother Qin remained unmoved, and said calmly: "The slave is just telling the rules that should be followed in Gege Palace."
"Okay, I know, I'll go in the future." Little Yanzi said impatiently, Qin Nanny heard her obviously perfunctory tone, sneered twice in her heart, but did not continue this topic.
After really starting to learn the rules from Nanny Qin, little Yanzi realized that Concubine Ling was quite tolerant of her in the Palace of Yanxi Palace before, and even Nanny Liu seemed much kinder in comparison, but now she It was literally being abused.
The first thing to learn was "walking". Nanny Qin made a demonstration, and then began to teach the little swallow over and over again.
"When walking, you must be calm and calm, keep a distance from the people in front, and shake the handkerchief just right, neither too high nor too low, Gege, please walk again."
"Ge Ge, the chin should be raised, the appearance should be dignified, the back should be straight, and there should be a little smile on the face, but not too much, and the teeth should not be exposed. Please go again."
"Ge Ge, when walking, you can't squint your eyes, let alone make faces, please go Ge Ge again."
Nanny Qin's voice was tepid, Little Swallow walked left and right again, getting more impatient and dispirited each time, and the veil was thrown up and down.
Mother Qin said calmly: "Gege, if you don't study hard, we will have to walk for ten days and a half months. The slaves have plenty of time, so it doesn't matter, but Gege has to face it all day long. Don't you get bored with my old face?"
Little Yanzi couldn't bear it anymore, stopped her steps abruptly, stood still, dropped the handkerchief in her hand, and yelled at Nanny Qin: "You know I'm going to get bored, but you still torment me here on purpose? Do you think I'm afraid of you?" ? I put up with you like this, it’s all for Huang Ama, you can just teach me what you want, why do you want me to walk so many times?”
Nanny Qin walked over, picked up the handkerchief with a blank face, handed it to Little Yanzi, and said, "Please walk again!"
"What if I don't leave?" Little Swallow was about to explode.
"If you don't leave, that servant has no choice but to leave." Qin Nanny blessed her and turned to leave.
Little Swallow rushed over to stop Nanny Qin, gnashing her teeth and shouting: "Wait! You're going to complain in front of Emma Huang, aren't you?"
"It's not 'complaint', it's 'return to life'." Mother Qin looked at the little Yanzi calmly and said: "The servant is incompetent, I can't teach the rules well, so I can only ask the emperor to choose someone else."
Little Yanzi thought about it, after all, she didn't dare to disobey Qianlong. The last twenty boards made her feel lingering fear, so she grabbed the handkerchief angrily, and shouted bitterly: "Forget it! Let's go! How can you walk?" Will it stump people?"
After studying for a whole day, it was not until night that Nanny Qin reluctantly let Little Yanzi pass the test, and left with Borgu and Bayan. Little Yanzi rubbed her sore legs and scolded Nanny Qin over and over again in her heart I don't know how many times.
When Nanny Qin came back a day later, the second thing Little Swallow learned was to "kowtow". This "kowtow" was as difficult to learn as "walking", or it was more painful, because it had to kowtow and kowtow endlessly. up.
"This kowtow looks simple, but it is actually learned. Every time Gege kowtows, he is not right. Kneeling must be straight, two knees must be close together, and cannot be separated. Two hands should be placed on top of each other. In front of the body, bend your head down and touch the back of your hand. You don’t need to touch the ground with your forehead, that’s the kowtowing method of the servants, not Gege’s kowtow, come on, please Gege kowtow again.”
"Ge Ge is wrong! You can't put your hands on your sides... Do it again!"
"GeGe made a mistake again, you have to overlap your hands, please do GeGe knock again!"
Little Yanzi straightened her back, turned to look at Nanny Qin, and shouted angrily: "How many kowtows do you want from me to be satisfied?"
Qin Nanny still said expressionlessly: "It's fine when you hit the right one!"
Then little Yanzi knelt there, kowtowed countless times, and when she finally stood up, her knees could barely straighten up.
In this way, more than ten days passed, and the little Yanzi lived in the study on a single day, and the twins were in the "dire straits" taught by Qin Nanny in Shufangzhai, but the strange thing was that she didn't make any more troubles, although Several times, I almost turned against Nanny Qin, but for some reason, I endured it in the end.
The author has something to say: This chapter has borrowed a lot from the original text and only made some minor changes, because I feel that the "teaching" process of the little swallow by the mother Rong in the original work is quite satisfactory, so I have the cheek to move it here, dear friends don't shoot me...
There is a little warmth and sweetness here, but a "disaster" has begun at Little Swallow.
The next day when Little Swallow went to study in the study, early in the morning, when she was still in a dream and giggling, Mother Qin, who had received Qianlong's order, brought two guards to Shufangzhai, and a room full of servants hurried over After seeing the ceremony, Nanny Qin is a big celebrity around the empress dowager, who would dare to neglect her?
"Where is Princess Huanzhu?" Mother Qin asked after looking at the people in the room, but she didn't see the figure of Little Swallow.
"Going back to Nanny, Gege hasn't got up yet." Mingyue replied tremblingly.
Nanny Qin frowned and asked, "What's the matter? Ge Ge is not feeling well?"
"Return to Mammy, Gege is in good health." This time it was Caixia who answered, she and Mingyue are maids responsible for the daily life of Little Swallow.
"If that's the case, why hasn't Gege woke up yet?" Mother Qin raised her voice. In fact, it's not too early for her to come. The princes and daughters in the palace need to greet the empress dowager and queen every day. Yes, the Empress Dowager is not in the palace now, she calculated that Little Yanzi must have come back from Kunning Palace to greet her, but she didn't expect to get such an answer.
After listening to Qin Nanny's words, everyone in the room silenced, no one dared to speak, even Mingyue Caixia also shut up. Seeing this scene, Qin Nanny already guessed the situation. Since entering the palace, she has never asked the empress how to greet her. She has no idea of such a thing. The concubine Ling never mentioned this when she taught her the rules. I don't know if she forgot or something else. There is a reason.
"I'm going to ask Grid to get up." After a moment of silence, Mingyue opened her mouth.
"No need." Mother Qin called out to Mingyue Caixia, who was about to turn around and walk to Little Swallow's bedroom, "Since Gege hasn't gotten up yet, I'll wait here until she gets up, and you can go about your own affairs. "
Mingyue Caixia didn't dare to disobey, so she had to agree, and everyone dispersed. Mother Qin didn't sit down, she stood straight in the middle of the hall, and occasionally someone passed by her with her head bowed and her steps fast.
Little Yanzi didn't wake up until the sun was high, and called Mingyue Caixia to come in and wash herself up. After cleaning up, Mingyue said, "Gege, Mother Qin has been waiting outside for half a day."
"Mother Qin?" Little Yanzi was stunned for a moment, not knowing who she was, she asked, "Who is she?"
"Going back to Gege, Nanny Qin is with the Empress Dowager, so you can't be neglected." Seeing Little Yanzi's bewildered expression, Mingyue replied.
"Understood." Little Yanzi waved her hand and said, thinking that she is a servant of the Queen Mother, so am I still afraid that she will fail?Seeing Little Swallow's indifferent face, Mingyue Caixia shut up, Mingyue had already said the reminder, and there was nothing Little Swallow could do if she didn't listen to them.
After dawdling for a while, little Yanzi stood up and walked out the door. After a while, she saw Mother Qin standing in the hall. Little Yanzi saw that she was upright, with a very serious expression, and her eyes were cold when she appeared. Staring at her coldly, piercing her body like a sharp sword made her feel uncomfortable. In her heart, she immediately classified Nanny Qin as a "bad guy". The "vicious" Nanny Rong.
"My maidservant greets Huanzhu Gege, Gege is auspicious." Mother Qin saw the little Yanzi approaching, and saluted respectfully, and the two guards behind her also knelt down. Ergu and Bayan's eyes were pure and introverted, their temples were slightly protruding, they seemed to be better masters than the Saiwei Saiguang brothers they had seen, and they felt more vigilant in their hearts.
"You are Mother Qin, right? Get up, what are you doing here today?" Little Yanzi sat down on the chair and said carelessly.
"Returning to Ge Ge, the servant is following the emperor's order to teach Ge Ge the 'rules'." Mother Qin stood up, looked at the little swallow expressionlessly and said.
Little Yanzi remembered what Qianlong once said about sending someone to teach her palace rules in a single day, and murmured in her heart: "It's not good for Huang Ama to find someone to come, but I chose a fierce old woman. It looks like I'm with that nasty queen, and I'm not sure how to punish me..." She didn't like the rigid rules in the academy, and hated this mother Qin when she met for the first time. It was the boss's displeasure, but remembering what Qianlong said that he would only take her out of the palace if he had learned the rules, he could only suppress his dissatisfaction, rolled his eyes, looked at Borgu and Bayan and said, "Why do you Are the two also here to teach Ben Gege how to behave?"
Borgu and Bayan didn't answer, and Nanny Qin said neither humble nor overbearing: "Return to Gege, the emperor said, I am afraid that Gege will be happy for a while, and go up to the pillars and eaves. , so as to ensure that Ge Ge will not be hurt."
Little Yanzi understands that Qianlong not only found a master for himself, but also found two helpers for this master who can control him. Looking at the tall and burly Borgu and Bayan, Little Yanzi groaned secretly.
"Mother Qin, I feel a little uncomfortable today, how about..." Little Yanzi put her hand on her forehead and said pretending to be uncomfortable.
"Since Gege is unwell..." Mother Qin said calmly, hearing this, Little Swallow was overjoyed, thinking that her "strategy" had succeeded, she didn't want Mother Qin to turn her head and say to Mingyue Caixia: "You don't have to go to the imperial hospital and ask the imperial doctor to come over!"
Little Yanzi was taken aback, she was in good health and nothing happened, but she just wanted to find an excuse to shirk, if she called the imperial doctor to come over for diagnosis and treatment, would she still have missed something?Quickly called Mingyue Caixia to stop, and said: "It's not that serious, I don't need to call the imperial doctor, I just need to rest and I'll be fine."
"Absolutely not!" Mother Qin said decisively: "Ge Ge is a body of golden branches and jade leaves, so you can't be sloppy at all, you two hurry up!" The last sentence was directed at Mingyue Caixia.
"Stop!" Little Swallow was in a hurry, jumped up and ran over to stop Mingyue Caixia, looked at Mother Qin and shouted: "I felt a little dizzy just now, but I'm fine now, I'm fine! No need to ask Yu Healed!"
"It's better to be safe." Mother Qin still insisted.
"I'm really fine!" Little Swallow shouted, "Didn't you come to teach me how to behave? Let's start now."
Mother Qin didn't really intend to ask Mingyue Caixia to invite the imperial physician, but she just wanted to hear what Little Yanzi said, so she said unhurriedly: "My servant knows that Gege is actually not feeling well, you just have 12 points in your heart. I don't want to learn the rules, so I want to find an excuse to drive the servants away, but the servants are doing things according to the order, and they can't take into account whether you like it or not. The emperor has orders, and the servants dare not disobey the orders. , if Ge Ge can study hard, the slaves can get off work sooner, and Ge Ge can get rid of the slaves earlier, so please don’t push back and hold back. "
What Mother Qin said was methodical and logical, Little Yanzi was speechless to refute, sighed helplessly, and said, "Forget it, what's 'Gege' and 'servant' said a lot, it's like a tongue twister It seems, in short, I can't let it go."
"Before teaching Gege how to behave, the servant has to ask Gege something first." After the episode ended, Mother Qin asked Little Yanzi: "After Gege enters the palace, do you have to go to Kunning Palace every day to say hello? "
"Say hello? What kind of hello?" Little Swallow asked puzzled.
Mother Qin said to Little Swallow expressionlessly: "In the harem, all unmarried princesses and Gege need to go to the Palace of Compassion and Kunning to greet the Empress Dowager and Empress Dowager before Chenshi. The Empress Dowager is now In Mount Wutai, therefore there is no need to go to the Palace of Compassion and Ning for the time being, but the daily greetings at Kunning Palace are still the same, and because of this, the servants came to Shufangzhai after Chenshi today, but they listened to Gege's side The maid said that you haven't gotten up yet, don't tell me you never went to greet the empress?"
"Why should I go?!" Little Yanzi yelled again, thinking that Nanny Qin was indeed on the queen's side, "What do you mean? Are you questioning me, accusing me?"
"I don't dare." Facing the little swallow who was about to jump violently, Mother Qin remained unmoved, and said calmly: "The slave is just telling the rules that should be followed in Gege Palace."
"Okay, I know, I'll go in the future." Little Yanzi said impatiently, Qin Nanny heard her obviously perfunctory tone, sneered twice in her heart, but did not continue this topic.
After really starting to learn the rules from Nanny Qin, little Yanzi realized that Concubine Ling was quite tolerant of her in the Palace of Yanxi Palace before, and even Nanny Liu seemed much kinder in comparison, but now she It was literally being abused.
The first thing to learn was "walking". Nanny Qin made a demonstration, and then began to teach the little swallow over and over again.
"When walking, you must be calm and calm, keep a distance from the people in front, and shake the handkerchief just right, neither too high nor too low, Gege, please walk again."
"Ge Ge, the chin should be raised, the appearance should be dignified, the back should be straight, and there should be a little smile on the face, but not too much, and the teeth should not be exposed. Please go again."
"Ge Ge, when walking, you can't squint your eyes, let alone make faces, please go Ge Ge again."
Nanny Qin's voice was tepid, Little Swallow walked left and right again, getting more impatient and dispirited each time, and the veil was thrown up and down.
Mother Qin said calmly: "Gege, if you don't study hard, we will have to walk for ten days and a half months. The slaves have plenty of time, so it doesn't matter, but Gege has to face it all day long. Don't you get bored with my old face?"
Little Yanzi couldn't bear it anymore, stopped her steps abruptly, stood still, dropped the handkerchief in her hand, and yelled at Nanny Qin: "You know I'm going to get bored, but you still torment me here on purpose? Do you think I'm afraid of you?" ? I put up with you like this, it’s all for Huang Ama, you can just teach me what you want, why do you want me to walk so many times?”
Nanny Qin walked over, picked up the handkerchief with a blank face, handed it to Little Yanzi, and said, "Please walk again!"
"What if I don't leave?" Little Swallow was about to explode.
"If you don't leave, that servant has no choice but to leave." Qin Nanny blessed her and turned to leave.
Little Swallow rushed over to stop Nanny Qin, gnashing her teeth and shouting: "Wait! You're going to complain in front of Emma Huang, aren't you?"
"It's not 'complaint', it's 'return to life'." Mother Qin looked at the little Yanzi calmly and said: "The servant is incompetent, I can't teach the rules well, so I can only ask the emperor to choose someone else."
Little Yanzi thought about it, after all, she didn't dare to disobey Qianlong. The last twenty boards made her feel lingering fear, so she grabbed the handkerchief angrily, and shouted bitterly: "Forget it! Let's go! How can you walk?" Will it stump people?"
After studying for a whole day, it was not until night that Nanny Qin reluctantly let Little Yanzi pass the test, and left with Borgu and Bayan. Little Yanzi rubbed her sore legs and scolded Nanny Qin over and over again in her heart I don't know how many times.
When Nanny Qin came back a day later, the second thing Little Swallow learned was to "kowtow". This "kowtow" was as difficult to learn as "walking", or it was more painful, because it had to kowtow and kowtow endlessly. up.
"This kowtow looks simple, but it is actually learned. Every time Gege kowtows, he is not right. Kneeling must be straight, two knees must be close together, and cannot be separated. Two hands should be placed on top of each other. In front of the body, bend your head down and touch the back of your hand. You don’t need to touch the ground with your forehead, that’s the kowtowing method of the servants, not Gege’s kowtow, come on, please Gege kowtow again.”
"Ge Ge is wrong! You can't put your hands on your sides... Do it again!"
"GeGe made a mistake again, you have to overlap your hands, please do GeGe knock again!"
Little Yanzi straightened her back, turned to look at Nanny Qin, and shouted angrily: "How many kowtows do you want from me to be satisfied?"
Qin Nanny still said expressionlessly: "It's fine when you hit the right one!"
Then little Yanzi knelt there, kowtowed countless times, and when she finally stood up, her knees could barely straighten up.
In this way, more than ten days passed, and the little Yanzi lived in the study on a single day, and the twins were in the "dire straits" taught by Qin Nanny in Shufangzhai, but the strange thing was that she didn't make any more troubles, although Several times, I almost turned against Nanny Qin, but for some reason, I endured it in the end.
The author has something to say: This chapter has borrowed a lot from the original text and only made some minor changes, because I feel that the "teaching" process of the little swallow by the mother Rong in the original work is quite satisfactory, so I have the cheek to move it here, dear friends don't shoot me...
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