Deep Cabinet Licking Dog Diary

Sunny Saturday, January [-]

This morning I was woken up by Aini's trampling on me.

She was implicated by me yesterday and was rejected by Lu Bei, so she reluctantly came to sleep with me.

So early in the morning, she stared at me with crystal clear eyes like big glass balls, tentatively pressed my arm with her little furry paws, and kept yelling eagerly "Aww".

I was sleepy and wanted to rua her, but she avoided it.

I squinted my eyes and asked, "Huh? What do you want, Zai Zai?"

Aini was still howling, rubbing his head against my hand beside me.

"Oh, I'm hungry."

I looked at my watch, it was only [-]:[-], and I woke up dizzy. The heating in the house was sufficient, so I put on a pair of big underpants, walked to the food bowl, opened the lid of the food bucket, and dug out a large spoonful of food. Scoop her into a bowl.

This grain barrel was bought by Lu Bei.It was when we rented together at the beginning, and we were not together yet. One time when I came back from school, I found that he bought a sealed bucket for cat food, and poured all the bags of cat food that I caught with clips into it. .

Without waiting for me to ask, he explained casually: "I read on the Internet that the cat food you put in like this is prone to moisture and deterioration, and it's not good for cats to eat it. It's still reliable to use this kind of bucket."

Then he turned around and went to his own room.

At that time, I looked at his back and thought, Lu Bei is really a terrible person, with a delicate and kind heart, but he never shows it.

But now that I think about it, my filter is too thick, and the little bit of normal kindness he casually releases will make me deeply rooted and hard to extricate myself.

I should be Stockholm.

Lu Bei hasn't woken up yet.I thought that if I woke up, I would wake up anyway, why don't I make breakfast, and treat it as an apology from last night.

I cried for a long time yesterday, and my eyes hurt a little.

I'm not angry with Lu Bei, I know he's too busy and stressed at work, and needs a way to vent, so it doesn't matter if he wants to scold me.I didn't want to cry at first, I didn't cry often, men don't cry easily, I don't want girls to chirp.

I was just suddenly a little scared of him last night.

This fear, it is difficult for me to explain for a while, it is not because I am afraid that he is unhappy, it is not because I am afraid that he is tired of insulting me, it is not because I am wronged by my lover's quarrel, and it is not because I am afraid that he will break up with me.

That is, pure fear.

I'm just scared of him.

I can't draw heat from him, and I can't warm myself with a constant flow of love for him.

I'm starting to feel a little tired.I finally got a little tired.

I said to myself, maybe it's just crying, and it's not a perpetual motion machine. It's normal to be in a bad mood.Maybe it was also affected by the dark sky outside, I suddenly felt that my love suddenly dissipated in this foggy morning.

I feel a little uneasy in my heart. If I don't feel for Lu Bei anymore, what will I have to rely on to survive in the future.

I'm a bit at a loss.

I dare not, and I have to love Lu Bei.I'm used to this kind of life, besides loving him, what else can I pursue?

After cutting two hams, frying two eggs and two slices of bread, I closed the kitchen door tightly, lest a few escaping noises would disturb Lu Bei.It wasn't until he heard him getting up that he went to the refrigerator to warm up a cup of milk and bring it to the table.

Lu Bei came out of the bedroom with disheveled hair and pajamas that were parted below the collarbone, and the vaguely exposed silhouette was still extremely seductive.His eyes, too, were bloodshot, with drooping eyelids and stubble on his chin.

When he found that I was already awake sitting in the living room, he was taken aback for a moment, then a little afraid to look at me, avoiding my concerned eyes, and hurried into the bathroom.

Seeing him like this, my heart suddenly softened, and the emotions that were blocked just now regained consciousness little by little.

I put the breakfast on the table, and when he came out of the toilet, I asked, "The breakfast I made for you...do you want some?"

He still didn't look at me, but hurriedly packed up the materials for work: "No, the company has to work overtime today, and I have something to do in the morning, so let's go."

"Oh……"

I nodded blankly, sat at the table and looked at him, not knowing what to say.

Lu Bei went back to the house and changed his clothes, and came out looking refreshed in a suit. He took his bag and went straight to the entrance to change his shoes.

I rested my elbows on the table, looked at his figure, and thought, it seems that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

But before leaving, he seemed a little hesitant. After changing his shoes, he didn't know what he was still dawdling in. He hesitated at the porch and refused to leave.In the end, I probably couldn't bear it anymore, and went back to the living room, and said to me as if my butt was on fire: "It's finally a holiday, you can sleep a little longer."

He didn't wait for me to return to him after speaking, turned around and left.

The door slammed shut with a bang.I sat alone in the living room for a long while before getting up to turn off the light.

The room fell into gray darkness again, and the sun was slowly rising outside the window.

I sighed and lay back on the bed.Annie lay down in the nest next to me.Neither of us fell asleep, and we were both staring blankly in bed.

ah!I slapped my head and calculated, and my rent was due.Damn, why did I forget this!

At that time, I rented a house in November for three months, and now it seems that January is about to pass.Time flies, and I have to chip in again.

I sat up and thought about how my part-time job was not enough to make up for the money I owed, and I didn't know where the new rent would come from.

In fact, I can live there for the whole of February, and I can save the thirteen thousand.But if I don't pay the rent, then I have to let Lu Bei pay it himself, then—absolutely not!Face slaps also have to be fat, I still have to find a way to hand over the money.But there is no one who can borrow it, and I have used Huabei to borrow it. It is even more unrealistic to ask my parents, and I fell into unbearable contemplation.

The economy always puts a lot of pressure on me. I never plan when I have money on hand, so I am always chased by debts.As for loans, I have a terrible intuition that they are like a bottomless pit with a wide open mouth, disguising itself with a convenient and harmless appearance, and over time it turns out to be a murderous one.I have tried my best to get rid of their influence, but I will inevitably fall into the dilemma of tearing down the east wall to make up for the west wall. As long as I look back, I can see them following behind me.

Coincidentally, at this time, a small broken website sent me a video at the right time. Some college students couldn’t repay the usury loan and finally jumped off the building. Photos of naked and owed too many loans were sent to relatives and friends. The family members sold houses and cars to help their children repay the loan, which was very educational. , Seeing my hair stand on end.

And then even more anxious.

My relationship, finances, studies, none of them went smoothly.

I won't be down for too long, and I have to go to work at midnight.The job of customer service feels quite leisurely at the beginning. After all, my classmate’s store has only opened recently, and the traffic is not large, and there are not many customers. I just need to stay by the computer. If there is a problem, I have to reply and solve it as soon as possible. .

Of course, I couldn’t avoid being scolded several times this afternoon, the delivery was too slow, the product didn’t meet expectations, and the peers gave malicious negative reviews.I comforted myself, there is no such thing as standing up to make money, and I should suffer a little bit.

I hung up the phone while watching a movie, and after I finished my part-time job, I hurried to the supermarket to buy some food, and I was going to make dinner for Lu Bei when I came back.

When I was cooking, I was staring at the recipe, and I couldn’t help imagining in my mind how I would talk to Lu Bei when he came home from work, how I would apologize to him, get his forgiveness, and then let him try my cooking. not progress...

Unexpectedly, after I finished cooking, I waited for a long time, and the dishes were cold and hot, and then they were hot again.

But Lu Bei didn't come back all night.

The author says:

There is another update today.In addition, there is an existing activity: please feed the starfish, dear ones, in exchange for a ticket to the violent scumbag (hey, don’t squeeze! Everyone in the line has it!