Orientation sniping

It was dark when Jiang Jing came back.

His eyes were red like a rabbit, his voice was nasal and his expression was sleepy.

Xu Shao has already left, and only Ji Shurong is in the ward.

Jiang Jing didn't look at him since he entered the door. He walked to the bed with his head down, put down the things in his hands, and said while tidying up, "These are coats. When you get better and can go out, these are just right for you to wear. It's too cold outside."

"These are underwear. I brought them for you. I'll wash them if they get dirty."

"These are worn inside. Don't just wear a sweater all the time. Put something warm inside, or you'll catch a cold easily."

He put the clothes in the suitcase under the bed and undid the other bags.

"I'll put the toiletries on the balcony for you. When you go out, turn right and you'll find the bathroom. I'll take you there when you can get out of bed."

"I just took these few books. I don't know if you have finished reading them. If there is anything you want to read, I will go back and get it for you."

As if talking to himself, he walked from one end of the ward to the other, putting things where they should be.

Ji Shurong remained silent all this time, his quiet gaze was always on him.

Jiang Jing was still babbling, but when he turned around to meet Ji Shurong's gaze, the words in his mouth suddenly stopped.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

On the way back he was forcing himself to calm down.He wanted to pretend that nothing happened, and he didn't want to open Ji Shurong's wound.Ji Shurong's current state is too bad, saying this is tantamount to making matters worse.

But Jiang Jing couldn't bear it.

That house was like a machete, cutting off his blunted nerves.

He stood on the spot and closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, his eye sockets were a little red again, as if they could drip blood.

"...Why?" He asked tremblingly.

why did not you tell me?

Why do you have to bear this alone?

Why are you still laughing when you are so sad?

Jiang Jing flung himself beside the bed, squatting on the ground and crying like an unwanted puppy.He clutched the bed sheet tightly, shaking from crying.

Ji Shurong frowned, raised his hand to stroke the top of his hair, and said dryly, "I'm sorry."

He stroked Jiang Jing's hair up and down, his stagnant eyes finally came back to life, flashing complicated emotions.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Obviously he was the most pitiful and innocent one, but he kept saying sorry.

Jiang Jing cried for a long time, his feet went numb from squatting, and he staggered and sat on the ground.

Ji Shurong wanted to help him up, but his unrecovered body didn't even have the strength to bend over.

"Stop crying." Ji Shurong looked at his red and swollen eyes, and stretched out his hand to signal him to come over.

Jiang Jing was still sobbing and couldn't even utter a complete sentence, so he obediently stretched his head over, and Ren Jishurong wiped away the tears on his face.

Ji Shurong said softly: "Don't be sad, it's all in the past."

Jiang Jing grabbed his hand, tears rolled down again.

He put his face on Ji Shurong's palm, and said incoherently: "I hurt you, if only I hadn't met me, then you can continue to play the piano, you won't get sick, and the future will be different from the present... "

He attributed the cause of Ji Shurong's depression to himself. The more he talked, the more he cried. Ji Shurong stopped wiping his tears, and his lips moved: "It's not because of you."

Jiang Jing was hiccupping from crying, but couldn't hear clearly, and asked, "What?"

Ji Shurong didn't speak any more.

His eyes were slackened for a moment, and after his eyes focused, an indescribable anxiety surged in his heart. He couldn't understand why Jiang Jing was crying, and he couldn't even say words of comfort.

Jiang Jing knew at a glance that his illness had flared up again.

I didn't know what he had gone through before, but now I finally know, and seeing his current state, Jiang Jing was so painful that he was even shaking his breath.

"It's getting late, you should go to bed." He forced a smile on the corner of his mouth, tidied up Ji Shurong's slightly messy quilt, turned and walked out.

"Where are you going?" Ji Shurong asked in a low voice.

Jiang Jing turned his back to him, without turning his head: "Go to the bathroom, I'll be back later."

Ji Shurong said "Yes", and Jiang Jing walked towards the door with heavy steps. Just as he closed the doorknob, another voice came from behind: "Xiaojing."

Jiang Jing clenched his teeth tightly.

After Ji Shurong's accident, he never called him that again.

"Don't cry." Ji Shurong said in a low voice, "I will feel bad."

Tears welled up in Jiang Jing's eyes.

He didn't dare to stay for a second longer, and opened the door as if fleeing.

The lights in the ward were not turned off, and it would be dazzling to lie on the bed.

Ji Shurong's hand rested on the side of the bed. The sheet was the trace of Jiang Jing's crying just now, and it felt a little cold to the touch.

Every time he gets sick, it is bound to be accompanied by long-term tinnitus and dizziness. The few words he said to Jiang Jing just now almost exhausted his last sobriety.

It may be because he was too dizzy, and he felt drowsy when he closed his eyes.

His thin eyelids couldn't cover the bright light, and after an unknown amount of time, his eyes suddenly went dark.

Then he imagined the scene that lingered in his mind day after day.

Ten years ago, there wasn't that much dust on that piano.

He has to practice the piano for a long time every day, and after the practice, he will wipe each key carefully.

At that time, the house was not so empty, the living room, bedroom, kitchen, every room was messy.Sometimes when he was playing the piano, he would hear a rattling sound coming from outside the door.

He never dared to close the door so as not to lose sight of the outside.

Almost everything that could be smashed in the house was smashed, this time it was a frying pan.There were still uncooked vegetables in it, which splashed all over the floor and were steaming.

He quickly ran out and helped the woman who was slumped on the ground up.Her feet were scalded, and her delicate ankles were shockingly covered with scratches.

"Why don't you die!" the woman shouted at him hoarsely.

Ji Shurong looked used to it long ago, and walked out holding her indifferently.He was not yet an adult at that time, and his strength was not that great, but the woman was as light as a piece of paper, and he could be picked up without any effort.

The woman turned her head and bit his arm fiercely, wishing to tear off a piece of flesh.

Ji Shurong frowned, gritted his teeth and endured before letting go.

The woman was placed on the sofa full of clothes, and she tore up the clothes one by one. Ji Shurong picked up one as a bandage, and wound it around his bleeding arm indiscriminately.

The woman stared at him with eyes wide open, chattering endlessly: "You bastard! You deserve to die!"

As if he didn't hear, Ji Shurong got up and went to the bedroom to get the medicine, then poured a cup of hot water.

He didn't let her drink it by herself, he pinched her chin and poured it down, flushing down the medicine.

The woman choked on the water, coughed and pointed at him and said: "You just want to kill me, you are like that bitch, you all want me to die!"

The effect of the medicine took effect quickly, and the woman's distorted face gradually returned to calm.

Her shoulders raised like fried hair slowly dropped, covering her face and crying softly.

Ji Shurong looked at her silently for a while, then said, "The rice is spilled, I'll make it again, you stay here for a while."

He walked towards the kitchen unhurriedly, halfway he was hit by a cat that jumped out of the closet.

Only then did Ji Shurong smile a little, stroked the cat's head and said, "You're heavy again in March."

The cat named Sanyue was tense all over, obviously frightened by the movement just now.

Ji Shurong hugged it to cook, Sanyue was very obedient, curled up at his feet and howled softly.

The cat was picked up by him on the side of the road, and it has been with him for several years, and it is the only light in his dark life.

The woman's illness was good and bad, and the peace didn't last long. When she was eating, she suddenly smashed the bowl on the floor.

The bowls at home have long been replaced with plastic, so they won't break.Ji Shurong just picked up and put down the chopsticks, and went to clean up the mess without saying a word.

He has lived like this for a long time, and he can't figure out when it started, and he has become numb now.

A woman would suddenly break out and destroy everything in the house, except for one thing she hadn't touched, and that was the piano.

When Ji Shurong was young, she once heard her mention that his father, whom he had never met, cheated in the piano room.The two conceived before marriage, and he became a single parent when he was still in the woman's womb.

He didn't know exactly what happened, but in short, the woman was greatly stimulated and forced him to practice piano since he was a child.

He looks exactly like his father, and in a woman's words, he is born with a slut look.Ji Shurong didn't understand for a while, she clearly hated everything related to that man, but she insisted on torturing herself with the piano.

Later, when he grew up a bit, he understood a little from the quiet and melancholy eyes of the woman when she was normal.

Probably because I can't let go, so I use such an extreme method to force myself.

At that time, the woman's condition was not as serious as it is now, and she would send him to the piano room every day, and watch him play in the auditorium.It's just that occasionally he will get sick, and Ji Shurong is used to hearing only a few words of cursing.

He is very talented in the piano, from the beginning of the reluctance, and then gradually love it.

He frequently appeared on various stages and won many awards. Everyone said he was a talented pianist.

To become famous at a young age should have a bright future and be full of joy.

He wasn't happy at all.

The author says:

Lao Ji's depression is not hereditary, it is acquired.