[SSHP] End of life

The rainy season in the mountains follows the winter.

After entering October, Harry deeply understood the meaning of this sentence.After a few rains, the weather began to turn completely cold. On rare days without rain, the entire settlement was busy; but such days were rare, and once it rained, it would be continuous.

Smoke rose from every house that was inhabited.During the daytime, which is less than 5 hours a day, almost no one is outside.Next, it will be snow that lasts for most of the rainy season.

Harry woke up feeling very uncomfortable.He opened his eyes dimly, and heard the patter of rain outside again.The creek became a creek, and there was no sound of burning wood.His hands and feet were already frozen, and it took him a while to barely sit up. He was surprised to find that more than half of the quilt covering his body had become soaked, and the cushion under him left an edge based on his posture A dry area of ​​blurry human figures.

The icy rain probably started in the middle of the night.It seemed that the roof on his side had finally leaked under the infiltration and devastation of the rain for days. He touched the glasses and put them on, looked up, and there were drops of water falling steadily every five seconds just above his waist.He couldn't see the hole.

The fire in the hearth had been extinguished, leaving only a heap of glowing ashes.Harry lifted the quilt and climbed out of bed. In the dim light, he found that the hem of his pajamas was wet, and his pajama pants were wet, sticking to his body coldly. This was the direct cause of his numb hands and feet from the cold, not the temperature of the air. Low.Shaking, he went to the fireplace and rekindled the flame.It took three strokes of the match with stiff hands to achieve the goal.

The house was very quiet, save for the sound of slightly damp wood burning, and the sound of rain hitting the roof and window panels.The layout of the table and chairs was the same as before going to bed, although knowing that they were pushed to the current position only a few hours ago, because he woke up after sleeping in the middle of the night, Harry felt that the two chairs had already been placed in this position It seems like a long time.He thought for a few seconds in silence.

The skin facing the flames began to heat up.He took off his trousers and draped them over the back of the chair, turning the back of the chair gently so that the clothes were facing the flames, trying to dry the only pair of pajama pants as quickly as possible.The jeans were thrown on the side table, but a change of underwear was still hanging wet on the clothesline, and the rest were in Snape's trunk, which was under the bed.Harry stared at the jeans for a moment, realizing that he would never want to pull them on without his underwear anyway, and his underwear was soaked.

Wrapped in rain-soaked cloth, it was cold and uncomfortable.He grabbed the watch on the small round table and looked at it, it was four in the morning.

Harry quickly yanked off his underwear, bringing it as close to the flames as possible.Now he is half naked.He glanced at Snape's bed, the man was facing the wall motionless, probably not awake.His shadow was a heavy black against the firelight, reminding Harry of the cloak that had always been worn about him on the worst nights.

Thankfully, Snape was now free of at least half of that horrible stuff.

The fire flickered.The shadow danced on the dilapidated wooden wall. In contrast, Snape's breathing body undulation was so weak that it could be ignored.Harry watched his back, feeling gradually panicked, he gently took off his shoes, and walked towards Snape silently on tiptoe.He leaned close to him and heard his breathing slow and steady.But he didn't back away immediately, but took a few minutes to confirm, until he let out a breath and was completely relieved.

Only then did he realize that his breathing trembled and his heart beat faster due to sudden fear and relaxation.A small shiny object, perhaps a shiny pebble, was embedded in the plank wall.Harry stood beside Snape's bed, watching the faint flicker with burning eyes.

It reassured him that Snape was still alive.Although it made him feel ridiculous to be suspicious because of the shadow.From where he was now, he could see Snape's profile in profile, the man's eyes closed, his eyelashes casting deeper and darker shadows in the darkness, the arches of his brows and cheekbones all resolutely resolute in shape.After he stopped making potions, his hair wasn't so greasy anymore.A few strands of black hair fell smoothly over his forehead.

Harry stared silently at Snape's forehead, nose and lips for a moment.When he found himself stroking his own lips, he almost backed away in a start.

Awesome, Harry.he said to himself.If Snape woke up suddenly to find a man standing beside his bed with his bare half half naked, stroking his own lips while staring hungrily at them, he would draw out his wand on the spot and curse him to fly.

He thought about it for a while before he realized that his toes were so cold that he stepped on the ground and couldn't feel it.He went back to the chair, put on his shoes, and approached the fireplace.The bed was too soaked to sleep on, and the chair was wooden, rough and cold, and Harry didn't want to sit on it.The skin on the side of the body that was on fire was scorching hot, while the side facing away from the fire was still cold.The thin coat could barely keep out the cold, so he faced the stove and did some squatting exercises.Do a few times, turn in circles, and continue in another direction.

Crouching, he watched his own shadow sway over Snape.In the silence, he looked aimlessly at the past years and the recent changes.His eyes subconsciously lingered on Snape for a long time, and he admitted that even he himself didn't know whether he was expecting Snape to wake up suddenly.

He is not in the habit of being naked in front of people.Except for the swimming lessons when he was a child and the second round of the Triwizard Tournament, even when he was playing in the water, he had never confronted anyone naked| naked.If Snape had been woken up to find he was wearing nothing but a top, he would have been embarrassed to death.Even if the venomous man doesn't say anything, just a smirk - and that's impossible of course.

But maybe Snape could give him a little space, and although he would inevitably get a slap in the face, that would be better than shivering.This man looks colder than anyone else, but in fact he is always warm.

Snape's body heat—and instantly, Harry had to face another horrible thought of his own that wasn't quite clear.He wanted to be close to Snape, wanted to find any excuse to be next to him - not just emotionally, but physically.He had realized this briefly when he was back in third grade, and the busy years of the next few years made him forget it.And now, as he spent more and more time reading quietly by the fire with Snape, this terrible longing of his was like a pea vine in the moonlight, growing wildly until it soared into the sky.But how unbelievable is this?They loathe each other, though he's sure their relationship has grown considerably in recent years.

Besides, it's a man.He can be respected and relied upon, but desire is ridiculous.Even he himself felt that this desire was unreasonable in terms of common sense and logic—maybe his integrity suddenly fell below the lower limit just because of his coldness.

As time goes by, he puts on the drying clothes bit by bit.After an unknown amount of time, under his amazed gaze, Snape lifted the quilt and sat up.He glanced at Harry and walked over to the sink to do his early self-cleaning.

Harry looked away, feeling suddenly angry and aggrieved.

He didn't care that Snape didn't say good morning - in fact, if Snape had said good morning, he'd have thrown himself at the window to see if it wasn't getting light again.He didn't care that Snape didn't ask him if he felt cold, he would bet that the temperature in the room dropped below ten degrees, and Snape could feel it too.This is utterly useless nonsense.Snape hated talking nonsense.He hadn't really envisioned the way Snape would treat him when he woke up, but it certainly wasn't what he wanted.

Of course he doesn't need to be held in the hands of others, but this old jerk treats him like he doesn't exist!As much as he didn't want to admit it, during the long half of the night, he was actually looking forward to Snape waking up so much.How surprised he was the moment he sat up, how betrayed he felt now.

Harry glared at Snape's back.He didn't care one bit about being treated like an immature little bastard now, Snape would never approve of him growing up anyway.He secretly prepared in his heart that as soon as Snape spoke, no matter what he said, he would immediately reply back with the most disdainful tone.He was jumping, expecting, but in no hurry; the man would always talk.

Snape remained silent.Harry was hungry, sleepy, resentful, and frustrated and utterly helpless while waiting.He sat on a chair and pretended to read a book, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw his temporary cohabitant holding a carton of milk and a bag of honey.Harry turned a page. He didn't think Snape would drink something like that when he first woke up in the morning.

He couldn't imagine Snape drinking milk at all.Not to mention milk with honey.If he had to guess, he would have preferred that Snape's first sip of birth was not milk but potion.I'm sure Ron would agree with him [-] per cent - minus the whole blush he might have had at the thought that Snape had babies, too.

Noticing Snape's tendency to turn away, he hastened back to pretending to read his book.The old man who was supposed to be thrown to feed the fire dragon went to the fireplace to get a kettle, brushed past him, and brought the familiar lingering fragrance of medicine.Harry bet Snape gave him a look of interest and sarcasm.

He squeezed the book tightly, feeling his mouth constricted uncontrollably, and the root of his nose sore—if he was two years old instead of 20, he bet he would be crying.But he insisted on not saying a word.

He heard the kettle being placed on the narrow ledge.The bottom of the kettle was uneven and squished crookedly.After a few seconds, Snape picked up the kettle and hung it on the tripod, lit the fire, and stepped aside to start making his own bed.

Harry's lungs were about to explode.Snape was silent, he couldn't confront him.And if he wanted to provoke him first, he didn't know what reason to use.If he had asked Snape why he had acted as if he didn't exist, it would have been [-]% self-defeating.What he wants is a sure hit, what he wants is victory, not to be ridiculed as a stupid boy after a complete defeat.

He turned a page of the book bitterly, only to realize that he had taken the book upside down.Footsteps were heard behind him, Snape stayed behind him for a few seconds, and he straightened the book as if nothing had happened.Snape walked away without a word, and there was a clang of spoons and tin cans.Harry sneaked a sideways glance. There was half a can of butter left over from the day they smeared their bread. Snape scooped up a large chunk and threw it into the kettle.After he finished all this, he glanced sideways at Harry, and finally made his first sound since he got up-a sneer that was mixed with many disdainful factors from his nasal cavity.Harry didn't even know how on earth he managed to make such noises.

Harry jumped up from his chair and threw the book onto the table.He paused for half a second, unable to decide whether to punch Snape's jaw or nose first.

"I'm sure after an hour of squats you still have the strength to get the pepper in front of me?"

Harry drew a sharp breath.

This man is cunning and wicked.If he followed his instructions, he must have felt very reluctant.If he refuses, then Snape will have a hundred taunts waiting for him - look, this is Dumbledore's golden boy, he just does a few squats in the cold air, thin bones There is no ability to bear a small bottle of powder less than 30 grams!

Harry made several different assumptions in just a few seconds.It included punching Snape on the nose, telling him he was strong enough, just not willing to listen to him.But in the end he didn't, he had suffered too much - he was no match for Snape in hand-to-hand combat, the man could lift him up by the collar with one hand.And now, when he had no magic power, if Snape had been desperate, he could have killed him in an instant, leaving nothing behind.

"—are you awake?" After the initial outrage had passed, Harry noticed the time Snape had said.

Snape merely raised his chin towards the ledge.

Harry clenched his fists and walked over to pick up the pepper. "You've been awake?" He asked again with resentment.

"You can't sleep peacefully if there's a shadow constantly shaking by your bed." Snape smirked, "Of course, what surprised me so much that I couldn't sleep was your intelligence, you even Thinking that only underwear is effective against the cold and that neither your sweater nor your jeans can do that.”

Harry gritted his teeth angrily.

"Pour it in." Snape lifted the kettle off the fire and stretched it lazily towards Harry. "Please. If you don't want to ask first how much to pour in."

Harry sneered, unscrewed the cap of the pepper powder bottle, and tilted the bottle down with all his strength.A small half of the pepper had accumulated on the surface of the liquid, like Snape's ashes.

Snape didn't stop.He glanced up at Snape, surprised to see that the man was smiling.The smile was full of malice, and unlike usual, it was mixed with something that made Harry feel very uncomfortable, as if Snape had dug a trap and he saw Harry walking unconsciously. trap edge.

Harry withdrew his hand and screwed the cap back on.When he put the bottle back and turned around, he saw Snape watching him, smiling.Finding him looking back, Snape raised an eyebrow in feigned surprise.

"I have to say, you're starting to impress me," he said. "So, to save me from the trouble of your illness, drink this jug of milk now. It's a good way to replenish your calories. I'm sorry If you put all the pepper in, it would give you more heat. It's a pity you gave up."

Harry felt his limbs go stiff again.Not because of the cold.

Just when he was about to rush over to scoop up some pepper powder regardless of face, Snape suddenly reached out his hand and mixed the pepper powder with the spoon that had been stirring the milk. The light yellow liquid turned into deep and light gray.He stirred dutifully until the last lump disappeared, and then he seemed to have finally admired Harry's expression enough: "I'm not your nanny, Potter. It's perfectly humane to boil your milk for you, so when you're done, put the kettle back on." Wash it clean."

Harry stood by the window, looking at the jug of liquid tremblingly.He was angry: Snape sat by and watched his suffering.He was delighted that Snape showed him concern in another way.He was terrified—because he realized that he was actually enjoying himself.He enjoyed Snape's taunting and... abuse, Snape's proximity and vaguely radiating warmth.Snape was targeting a privilege that only Harry Potter could get.Snape's lesson was the gentleness of this man.It would be fine if he didn't see it - he'd always thought of Snape as a man with flaws, flaws that made him all the more great, but flaws were flaws.But at this time, he vaguely felt that these shortcomings had become an important factor to attract him, and he couldn't help feeling that he was sick.

He was up and down in anger and fear, and finally returned to calm.He noticed that Snape hadn't even left the table to go about his own business.He raised his head cautiously, and that kind of thoughtful and sad complex eyes appeared again, those eyes stared at him, but seemed to be looking at something else through him.Harry's eyes were sucked into the deep blackness, and the two stared at each other for a long time, until Snape put down the kettle and walked away with a cold face.Harry clutched his right hand, which had been reaching out uncontrollably to grab him, and he didn't even know what it was trying to grab him for.

Throughout the next day, Harry was nearly overwhelmed by Snape's bad mood.He didn't know why he found that the peace between the two of them was gone, as if the peaceful coexistence was an illusion, Snape had turned back into that grumpy old bastard.Once Harry tried to get close to him, he would rather go out in the rain with an umbrella than sit by the fireplace and read his book, as if Harry were a stinking plague.And when he found that Harry faced his unfair treatment with only a blank face and no sense of resistance, his eyes were full of anger.

Harry watched Snape warily all day.He didn't even know where he'd offended him—it couldn't be because he'd spent an hour half-naked doing squats in front of the fireplace, which he thought would be his entertainment instead.Snape had returned to his difficult - maybe his - nature, but Harry had absolutely no energy left to be angry at his injustice.His mind was very disturbed, and if he didn't peek at Snape, his mind would be filled with random things; if he did, his eyes would sting from the long stare.Snape completely pretended not to notice his gaze - he was sure Snape knew he was looking at him, he just wouldn't respond.

Harry was appalled at how dependent he had become on this man who had somehow grown, but he quickly regained his courage.If his heart tells him he wants something, he believes it's not a mistake.The rain, the cold, the fireplace, the tea being boiled over the fire, the man in the house as if he didn't exist, time filled with loneliness and longing.Snape's eyes, Snape's hand, Snape's voice—Snape's presence.

He sat on the corner of the bed, away from Snape, and watched the man flip through the book irritably in his chair.The pages of the book rattled, accompanied by the crackling of the fire, the sound of rain outside the window—everything was the same as before, and everything was completely different from before.

He had never thought about what he would do once Snape and his relationship reverted back to the first time before 1997, and now he had plenty of time to think about it, but he found he couldn't bear it.He has no countermeasures.All the cells in his body were clamoring for grievances, but no one dared to push him to rush over to ask why all this happened.

He just couldn't bear the fact that Snape just told him impatiently that he still saw him as a burden when he loved - maybe not but couldn't - depended on Snape so much.

He didn't feel that Snape was just seeing him as a burden, he had other reasons.But Snape wouldn't tell him.And he won't give up.But he didn't know how to break the deadlock.

He buried his face in his knees for an unknown amount of time when he heard the chair move.Snape stood up.He looked more irritable than during the day, and judging by how often he flipped through the pages, he barely read a single page properly.He put the book on the table and walked to the small sink.

"What should I do?" said Harry tentatively. "My bedding isn't even dry yet."

"It's none of my business," Snape said grimly.He brushed his hair back and bowed his head to wash his face.Harry stared at the beautifully shaped neck, the water droplets glimmering in the flames.

"Severus," Harry chose the title he didn't use very often, "I just wanted to discuss something with you."

"When you found them wet, why didn't you take all the bedding off and let them get wetter?" Snape said without looking back, his voice sounded like broken ice drifting in March The surface of the lake, "You should have thought of the consequences, or chose to be responsible for your own stupidity. I will not provide you with any solutions. I am not responsible for any consequences of the messiah's stupidity."

When he finished, he turned and stared at Harry.Harry averted his eyes - making eye contact would be easier for Legilimency, and a master of Legilimency would be able to tell more from the expression of the other person even if he didn't use the spell.

Although Snape had always had doubts about his IQ, he certainly had a way.He can borrow it, and he would not refuse to borrow a quilt temporarily.He's always been sorry about what happened to Liken.Even if he didn't borrow them, he could have roasted them on the fire earlier.But he just longed for Snape.Just don't want to have this quilt.

"Is that why you're so angry today?" Harry said softly, "I thought you were starting to accept me slowly, I just don't believe that after all this time we—" He didn't really believe himself, But when he deliberately mentioned this possibility, he still choked up unconsciously.

"Then you'd better learn to believe." Snape's tone became colder and more sinister, and Harry knew he'd pissed off Snape with just one word, and the man had never been a patient man. "My pact with Dumbledore is to keep you alive. Don't think I've been willingly wiping your ass, Potter. Willful, self-centered, I've had enough. That's not what will I can assure you that even if you got pneumonia because of being exposed to the rain all night, I am sure that you will survive. As long as you are still alive, I will fulfill my responsibility."

Based on his long relationship with him, Harry knew how indifferent and unreasonable this man could be once he got stuck in his own horns and made his own decisions.He folded his knees and looked silently into Snape's face.

"If you think I'm going to give you my place because you've damned wet your quilt, you're dead wrong. You're just a nasty boy in my eyes, not some saintly Potter , not some goddamned savior. Don't expect me to treat you like those idiots who spoil you. I've been teaching you for ten years and I still can't make you realize that you're just a brash, pompous little boy."

"I'm not." Harry said calmly, unable to take his eyes off the deep shadow under Snape's Adam's apple, "When will you be willing to see reality clearly, Severus, I am not like It's as hateful as you imagined, and it's not so like my father."

"I didn't imagine, Potter." Snape narrowed his eyes dangerously.

Harry watched him for a moment, then dropped his head again and buried his face between his knees.He knew they couldn't go on today, and that his longing made him restless.His eyes were closed, and the great emptiness and loss pressed his head, making him unable to move.He took a shaky breath and said, "All right, then. Good night."

As he spoke, he was surprised to find more desperation in his voice than expected—not just loss.He put a clay basin where the water dripped from the bed, and the water splashed out, and the tiny droplets hit the back of his hand.The cold air invaded through the pores, rising and expanding, and he felt his chest was icy cold.

He retracted his legs, curled himself up a little tighter, and gripped his pants tightly with his fingers.

"You sleep on the outside, Potter." After a while, a familiar impatient voice sounded in front of Harry, a little intermittent at first, and then became calm and cold, "I don't want to be kicked by a dishonest savior in the middle of the night Kick it down."

Harry looked up slowly.He wished Snape had softened up, and when he did back away, he felt dazed and unreal.But he doesn't intend to pass up the opportunity.No matter why Snape became an old bastard, this sentence was clearly a sign that he had given up on being an old bastard and intended to reconcile.After thinking about it for a day, he finally decided to reconcile with him, and with himself—or just compromise.

Snape was already walking towards the bed with his back turned.Harry picked up the small earthen basin, which was half full of water, and poured the water into the sink.Then he quickly took off his underwear and put on his pajamas, and ran towards the man sitting on the bed staring at him coldly.

"Bring your pillow here. Bed-sharing is already on the edge of what I can bear. If you still want to sleep together, then I will regret to tell you that you will have to spend the night under the roof."

Harry stopped, took the pillow, and slipped under Snape's covers.It was much warmer inside the quilt than outside. He patted the pillow and lay down. Although he tried his best to restrain his movements, he still inevitably rubbed against Snape's body several times.He thought Snape was going to lose his temper, but he kept silent.

The two lay on their backs.Snape's shoulders were broad and strong, and Harry was no longer the thin boy.Two adult wizards were lying on a narrow wooden bed, as if someone had secretly cast a spell on the bed to make it bigger, forcing a wide trench between them.The cold wind poured in from the middle, they were silent, each knew that the other was not asleep.

"Severus, I don't kick people," Harry said.He moved closer to Snape, testing the man's reaction.

"I have no interest in your sleeping habits," Snape replied.Hearing his answer, Harry relaxed inexplicably.He realized then that he wasn't even breathing normally a second earlier.

He turned over and put his head under the quilt to keep warm.The weird distance between the two disappeared.His eyes were open, and there was darkness.Snape's voice sounded from obliquely in front, the tone was cold, but in the warm darkness, it sounded like a cup of melted chocolate, mellow and elegant.A bit astringent but equally warm smell lingered in Harry's nose, faintly.Harry's heart beat violently.

"Close your eyes and go to sleep now, Potter," said the man, turning his back on Harry.Harry thought for a moment and moved closer to him.

The moment his forehead touched Snape's shoulder, a strange feeling surrounded him.It turned out that this was what he wanted, something he seemed to have been aware of all along, but didn't seem to really know what it meant until now.He felt warm, calm, and excited.This feeling is comfortable and wonderful, as if I felt it a long time ago.He vaguely imagined that there seemed to be wind and light around them at that time, although he was not sure that there was a moment like that.For a moment, what he felt was very similar to now—he felt his soul was completed.

"Severus, what's the matter with you today?" he asked after a while in a softly coaxing tone, lifting his head slightly and prodding Snape's shoulder blades with his chin.

Snape said nothing, did not breathe or move.But he didn't drive Harry away.It was almost the best gift after a long period of silence and unease.Harry didn't know why he had suddenly become inaccessible, why he had suddenly given up.Probably he was fighting against his own principles again for something.During their time together, he had found that such struggles were not uncommon; but of these, Snape's own vs. his own, strangely Harry always won in the end.

Harry's heart told him that he wanted to put his hand on Snape.But he didn't dare to do it in the end.He reluctantly moved away from the stiff Snape and lay back on his own narrow side.He stared at the roof with his eyes open in the dark, unable to fall asleep no matter what.Some of the holes in his chest were filled, but more came up, and he didn't know how to fill them.Before going to bed, the clay basin on the bed where he was supposed to lie on caught the rain, making intermittent crisp sounds, and he couldn't hear Snape's breathing.

He almost thought the man he shared the bed with was a statue, the way he usually looked.It's still raining.He heard these noises, but couldn't feel Snape's body temperature, he just felt extremely irritable.He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and stroked with one hand the wand sheath that he never left when he slept.

The author has something to say: I have never given you benefits for so long. The three parts of the whole day are divided into two chapters and released continuously.Erha initially awakened. SS You can figure it out for yourself... I never knew exactly when he started.Can't figure him out.