[SSHP] End of life

Hermione and Ron noticed something was wrong with Harry these past two days.

For all they knew, Harry was supposed to be training with Snape.However, he hadn't been to the potions office for two days.At the end of this week, Easter will start, they are still planning the last training of DA, if Harry still maintains this state, their training plan will be stranded. Most members of the DA are under the age of 17, and after a holiday when they cannot use magic, more than half of them may have completely forgotten the spell.

On the first day, Harry's appetite was close to zero.He sat at the table without a daze, talking to them as if nothing had happened, while eating food very slowly.

Because Harry's behavior was relatively normal, no one suspected anything.That's it for the first day.

The next day, Harry started eating like hell.He ate more at the breakfast table than lunch, and then he took a walk by the Black Lake all day.

On the third night, Ron and Hermione finally caught Harry on the darkened Quidditch field.Ever since Harry's Firebolt broke at the end of the fourth year, he had been using a broom that he didn't know where.Every time Ron saw Harry riding this broom, he felt sick.

"He won't teach me again!" said Harry angrily, his face pale a second ago and now flushed.

"Again?" Hermione caught the word sharply.

"Last time. The time before I came back here." Harry waved his hand, he was afraid that he could not help breaking the handle of the broomstick, "Last fifth grade, Snape was asked by Professor Dumbledore to teach me Occlumency .I had less than ten classes before he threw a big jar of dead cockroaches at me and kicked me out of his office."

Ron couldn't help laughing.

Hermione glared at Ron.

"I was wrong last time, too," said Harry, who felt guilty every time he thought about it for not telling his friends what he saw in the Pensieve, "but this time Snape went too far .He turned the mouse into my father and let it go, because I didn't want to use the death curse on another mouse, so he deliberately asked me to practice with the mouse that turned into my father."

"Then don't go. He just hates your father and wants revenge. Your father is a hero, and he's no better than a rat in the gutter," said Ron. "There's no spell you can't learn from an Auror What? Don’t go, we will also be heroes, and we will rush to the forefront. There will be many opportunities to fight in the future, and we can definitely become familiar with them on the battlefield.”

When he finished, he looked at Hermione beggingly.But Hermione shook her head.

The three of them were silent for a long time in the twilight.Ron was a little uneasy, and Harry looked up at the distant sky.

"Harry," said Hermione suddenly, looking at him thoughtfully, "if my memory is correct, Mundungus is a coward? You said he ran away more than once and sold Horcruxes to Ugly Mrich."

"He's not much better than Wormtail," Harry said. He could no longer verify whether Mundungus had switched to the Death Eaters after the breach of 12 Grimmauld Place last time, but that didn't matter. He would never give him even the slightest bit of trust, "I really don't know why the Order of the Phoenix accepts such a person."

"If he betrayed the Order of the Phoenix like Wormtail, can you kill him?" Hermione asked, thinking the same thing as him, "if he fell into the hands of the Death Eaters in Grimmauld Place last time , betrayed all of us?"

Harry shook his head, he couldn't make assumptions about what happened, he didn't know if it happened, it was a matter of defining a person.After all, they were not obviously hunted down because of Mundungus' betrayal last time, and the members of the Order of the Phoenix were not wiped out by Death Eaters in a very short period of time. "He's just timid, I guess he's not there yet."

"I mean if." Hermione pressed, she thought for a while, and then she compromised, "Perhaps Mundungus is not guilty of that... What about Wormtail?"

Harry hesitated.He could let Kreacher hit Mundungus on the head with a frying pan, and he could threaten him without guilt, but he couldn't imagine himself killing Mundungus.The same is true for Wormtail, he betrayed his parents, he helped Voldemort to resurrect, he thought he hated him so much, he deserved to die, but when he fantasized that he angrily shot the death curse at him, he felt that this scene was very unreal .It was easier to imagine beating him up and sending him to Azkaban instead.He shook his broomstick, and replied uncertainly, "Maybe if it's really necessary."

"You can't. You just can accept death. You accept them, but you can't make them yourself." Hermione watched his expression with an appraising eye, and asserted firmly, "The deaths you have seen make you have The illusion. The illusion that you can really fight as a warrior after you have passed those deaths. But it is not the case." She shook her head again, "Professor Snape is right, we are not enlightened enough. It is a little bit better than evasion." Better, but really only enough to be called a cowardly consciousness. We have more kindness than necessary, and maybe it is right as a human being...but it doesn't apply in wartime."

"You can't theoretically define every behavior," Harry retorted. "Whether you manufacture it or just accept it, what we're doing is fighting them."

"Those Death Eaters won't join our camp anymore! It's not safe even if you catch them and imprison them in Azkaban. As long as they don't die, they can escape!" Hermione retorted seriously, she The look on her face shows her utter disapproval of what Harry said, "But what did you do? In 1997 when you were supposed to be, you wouldn't actively kill a single Death Eater. According to you , it seems we are too."

"But what does it matter?" said Harry impatiently. "I do everything to win, not to kill!"

"I understand that killing someone is stressful, but you keep them out of kindness and they don't take your kindness, you have to kill them! If you don't kill them, they get up and keep making Dangerous, yet irreversible casualties on the side of the light - we keep losing men, and they just need to be captured and let go unscathed, which will make all the hard work and bloodshed in every battle come to naught! "

She gasped, seeming terrified by her own imagination: "Merlin, think about the ending - all members of the Order of the Phoenix are dead and wounded, maybe only the three of us are left alive to fight Voldemort and fight from the first battle until the end." Death Eaters who have never been reduced in size - we will lose! If we win this time, if you can't kill Voldemort, maybe he will rise again in ten years! One Death Eater is left, maybe he will still think Looking for an opportunity to continue their blood cleansing! Our kindness may be to leave a spark for another future chaos in the magical world!"

Harry rode his broom, suspended half a foot in the air.He had almost blurted out just now that he was also a Horcrux, and he didn't have to kill the Dark Lord, he had to die one step ahead of Voldemort. "So you sided with Snape, trying to turn me into an indiscriminate murderer, and then advertised yourself as the party of justice, with no guilt in taking other people's lives? That's not evil, pretending to be righteous is yes!"

"That's why Professor Dumbledore taught you what love is. You love us, so you have the awareness to dust your soul for us, and we are the same." Hermione said patiently, "I guess Professor Snape is also like that." Meaning. The reason why he turned the mouse into your father and let another mouse attack it is not to arouse your hatred against Voldemort, but to let you learn to protect. This is his constant emphasis on letting you use your brain and use love The reason to come to learn the spells and not just say them."

Harry tightened his grip on the broom, finding himself unable to utter a single rebuttal word.

"I think Hermione's right," said Ron slowly, as lights came on in several windows in the castle behind him, "Killing is killing, and it's wrong no matter who does it or for whatever reason." But sometimes we have to. Suppose a Death Eater who has killed someone stands in front of me and promises me that if I let him go he will continue his job, even if it's not right, I won't let him live Go on. Maybe I'll have nightmares for a long time, but that's just my own business. And the wizarding world is much bigger and more important than me...I think, maybe sometimes the Guardian needs to be more cruel than the Demon King."

Harry frowned, he probably understood what his friend meant.

"Maybe I guessed wrongly what Professor Snape meant. But whether he's purely trying to get revenge on your father or train your willpower, I think your lessons should go on. You'll have to face that man one day, Harry, what are you going to use against him then? Disarm you? Pass out?" Hermione folded her arms and said calmly, "I suggest you apologize to Professor Snape and start over as soon as possible. Lesson. We do have many opportunities to go to war in the future, but if you can't keep yourself safe in the first battle, what is there after? Not everyone will return kindness with kindness, and the Death Eaters will not treat you Keep it."

Harry murmured and said, "Can't I just get rid of the old bastard once and for all?"

"I guess none of you will deny that Professor Snape is a master dueller. To get rid of him completely, at least you have to let him have nothing to teach you first." Hermione shook her head and poured water on him without hesitation. Drink a basin of cold water.

Harry nodded reluctantly as his broom flicked back and forth in midair a few times.

Hermione seemed relieved.She leaned forward, with a questioning but hesitant look on her face, but in the end it was clear that curiosity won out: "If you want, I'd like to hear you talk to Snape again. The real reason the professors are at odds. I thought your relationship had gotten better, not to mention you knew he wasn't going to be nice to you. You said it yourself that it wasn't fair that you didn't care about him—" She said nothing in the air With a polite wave of his hand, he interrupted Harry's rebuttal, "So if you want to get rid of his words that are obviously against your will, you don't have to say any more. These words can only be used as a way of venting, and when you really want to communicate, It only affects your accurate expression, and it doesn't help the status quo."

She stared at Harry, paused for a moment, and then added with obvious emphasis: "Don't lie to me, Harry. You are probably the person in the world who understands him best and is the most tolerant to him right now, even from a distance. More than Professor Dumbledore. If it wasn't for you not being able to figure it out yourself - or not wanting to figure it out at all, you'd need me to explain him to you?"

Harry stared at Hermione, and after a moment, complained, "Can't you let your sharpness go for a day?"

Hermione brushed her hair back, smiled at Harry, and said simply, "No."

"Well," said Harry, "actually because... because he didn't say what I wanted to hear. I think so. I thought he would."

"He's never going to say what you want to hear," Ron whispered. "I think he only wants to talk when he's being sarcastic. I sometimes wonder if he has a dictionary of all the swearing."

"I know I have fantasies about him... It's hard to say." Harry waved his hand unnaturally, and he said, suddenly feeling very wronged, "I believe he will let me learn the death curse from the beginning, there must be him He can't make mistakes in this kind of thing. I really wanted to learn it. But after chanting the spell, I realized that I might actually use it to take someone's life in the future, and that moment was very stressful. In fact, I understand what you are saying. Of course, I will not refuse to kill Voldemort and Death Eaters in order to win, and I don’t care about getting my hands dirty in order to protect more people, but who is not weak and afraid? I don’t want to Acting like a baby, I just think that after going through so much together, he can understand my thoughts a little bit and be a little gentler to me. I really don’t want much, even one sentence is fine..." He paused, no continue.There are some things - for example, he will die in the end, he can't tell his friends.He and Snape had shared secrets, and Snape's reluctance to offer the slightest bit of help when it was obvious he was about to be crushed made him feel betrayed.

Especially after he knew almost everything about Snape.

Snape loved his mother, so he always protected her.He once asked Dumbledore so angrily, "You raised the boy to slaughter him like a pig", he thought it was Snape finally caring about his performance-Dumbledore said the same, "after all You've come to want to protect the kid, right?" Whether it was for redemption or a little bit of affection—he wasn't sure yet, but there was no way Snape would have seen him die.Snape had lived so far to keep him from dying.

But now Harry seriously doubted that Snape really didn't care about himself at all.Maybe he wants to protect Lily's bloodline, maybe he wants to avenge Lily.And when he could only choose one of the two, it was obvious that he chose revenge.

So what is Harry Potter?Since he has half of James' blood in him, he will always be the one Snape discarded first?He was just a tool, Snape used him to atone for his crimes, and finally used him to take revenge. In his second life, seeing him showing such obvious discomfort, Snape still firmly trained him—Snape was obviously such a protector He treats those under his wing with a softer heart than he shows.Does that mean that after all they've been through together, Snape is still adamant about keeping Harry Potter out of his world?

Harry pulled up abruptly and said, "I'll fly for five minutes before I come down." His broom turned with an uncharacteristic deftness, and he soared into the sky with his back to his friends, tears falling into the darkness.

He spiraled up in an almost vertical posture, and finally hovered in the high-altitude night.He had a panoramic view of Hogwarts, with the tip of the Astronomy Tower at his feet.He saw the lighted windows in the tower below, the black lake reflected the ripples of the moonlight, and the continuous canopy of the Forbidden Forest surged like waves in the night wind.His two friends stood on the empty court, only vague shadows remained in the dim light.

The wind blew Harry's hair, chilling the tears on his face.He wiped his eyes vigorously.

He hung high under the moon and glanced at his feet bitterly.He knew that Snape hated him, regarded him as an inescapable obligation or burden, and didn't care about him at all.But now the fact that Snape doesn't care about Harry Potter himself, which he already knew, besides resentment and resentment, can make him so unbelievably sad, even after realizing that the parents who loved him would never I didn't cry when I came back.When had Snape become so important to him?

He admitted that it was a great honor to be watched by someone like Snape, and that somewhere inside him must be enjoying it.He thought that he was just dissatisfied with the attention he received was not enough - he thought he would be paid attention to and treated specially, but who knew that was not the case, so he was lost and wandering like a primary school student whose award certificate was withdrawn by the teacher.But he soon discovered that was not the case.He wanted more, much more than that, a hundred times more - he was the one who kept Snape alive, their relationship was the most special.Snape should give all his attention to him, and all his actions should be based on him, he is the only one in Snape's life!

And Snape actually told him he wasn't that important, that he had something more important than Harry Potter in his heart, and that his own life wasn't something to think about!He also told him he didn't want to be around him at all!How dare he, how can he!

The anger caused Harry's heartburn pain, and the grievance made him unable to stop the tears.He told Ron and Hermione that he was going to fly for five minutes, but five minutes wasn't enough.

Ron and Hermione waited patiently on the field for him.The light shot out from the gate and fanned out across the dark pitch.The two stood on the edge of the orange fan, occasionally walking a little.When Harry finally got himself together and flew down, neither of them asked much.

Harry was sure there were tears on his face as he stopped in the dark.If he couldn't see his face, at least he could guarantee that his voice was normal.

"Sorry to keep you waiting so long," he said sadly and angrily, "don't worry about me, I figured it out. I'll fly for a while, and then I'm going to trouble that bastard Snape. I'm human , I am not a tool, I have feelings! He actually wants to use me as a magic wand!"

"Stop being angry, Harry. That's not what you want to say." Hermione said indulgently. "Don't be angry, you know that's not what he wants to say. With love in your heart, no one will say it It was a mistake."

"But he acted as if I was wrong to believe in love! If I were to apologize, it would prove that I was wrong - he hates me! He thinks I'm naive, childish, and says I'm full Physical shortcomings—”

"Harry, you're a boy from the future, and you've done enough. You've always been a saver, and it's that quality of yours that keeps us around you, and your flaw is that you A straightforward and sincere proof." Hermione pulled Ron who was about to step forward, and took a step back, "We're going back first, you can fly for a while, and make yourself happier... Don't be awkward. Take courage and think about it." What you really want, don't try, take a step forward. I think that's what Snape was saying: Love doesn't make you win battles easily, but it keeps you from losing yourself."

Alright alright.Harry thought.Hermione was right.He knew that was exactly what Snape wanted to say - but he'd never say it outright.And unfortunately, what he wanted was for him to say it in words.

Maybe he should really apologize.He knew the way Snape expressed it, he'd fought it for years and couldn't turn it around in the end.It may be a bit too much to ask him to be obedient to his own way to express it again... Although he is always very unfair to compromise every time, but so be it.He's going to apologize.He hadn't lost to Snape, he wasn't backing away at all, his Gryffindor dignity was unscathed.His apology was not for getting angry at him immaturely, but to get this matter resolved quickly so that he could plan the DA's training.He was three days late, when Easter was less than a week away.

The author has something to say: Well, I said it in the last chapter, don't worry.After thinking about it, I think Erha will be more mature and more like a qualified fighter, but he will not be a fighter everywhere.The influence of this chapter and the next will not be revealed until the last few chapters of this essay.

Hermione noticed.Girls are always sharper than boys.laugh.

Put it together and update it, although it is late, it seems to be more coherent.