[SSHP] End of life

Seeing Harry, the stone beast came alive and jumped aside automatically, without even asking him to say the password, as if it had been waiting for him for a long time.Harry stepped up the spiral staircase, the walls closing behind him.He ascended in a small circle to the gleaming oak door with a brass knocker in the shape of a griffin.

He didn't knock on the knocker, and the door opened of its own accord.The room was half-dark, and the strange silver instruments on the table sat still, instead of humming and turning and puffing out puffs of smoke as usual.Behind the door, swan-shaped, golden and red feathers, large and beautiful birds dozed on their perches with their heads tucked under their wings.

Dumbledore sat in the high-backed chair behind his desk, reading papers by candlelight.He was wearing a dressing gown with stars on a purple background, and he certainly looked like he wasn't going to watch the night.Those piercing blue eyes looked at Harry, and Dumbledore smiled.The smile didn't get into those eyes at all.

"Harry, what's the matter? I thought you were dueling with Severus in his office right now." He said, motioning Harry to sit down.Harry sat in an armchair across from his desk, and a cup of tea appeared on the table next to him.

Harry took a sip of his tea.He walked from the cellar to the principal's office very briefly, and he didn't have time to think about it.He overestimated himself again: he thought he could tell everything smoothly, but found that he couldn't.

He rested his chin, very remorseful.If it was Hermione, she would definitely be well prepared.While there are times when it's more than she's prepared for, she always handles it well.Besides, it's just a confession-tell the ins and outs.Dumbledore wouldn't be disappointed in him just because he kept it a secret for a year - the great wizard was always tolerant, after all, he still worked so hard.

Dumbledore looked at Harry over the half-moon glasses.He put down the papers in his hands and actually looked up at him. "Then let me ask." He said thoughtfully.

Harry nodded.

"Are your relationships giving you trouble?"

Harry thought about it.His exchanges with Snape always turned into angry confrontations, unless he gave up on the pressing.But he couldn't give up the persecution.If Snape could take a step back from the walls he had erected, and admit to some things instead of being tough all the time, their cooperation would undoubtedly go a lot better.

But he coerces and lures, Xiaozhi uses emotion to reason, this man is still unwilling to retreat.

"In fact, I couldn't communicate with him."

"Who?"

Harry wanted to talk about Professor Snape, but it didn't help his subsequent exchange with Dumbledore.He bit his lower lip and said, "Severus Snape."

"Oh? I've noticed that your relationship seems to have eased. This is what I have been looking forward to... But why, Harry? The way he treats you is obvious to all. I don't think you will suddenly figure it out. Here I have a reason?"

"I just learned something. Professor Snape loves my mother, he has been helping me... But he hates me, he refuses to communicate with me. I thought we have such a relationship, even if he hates me, he can be honest Well, I told him everything! But he won't!"

Dumbledore looked a little surprised.He looked at Harry for a moment with bright blue eyes, and said, "Didn't you consult with your friends?"

"I'm not sure he wants to let my friends know these secrets..." Harry shook his head. "No, he certainly doesn't. But why did he have to reject me? Just because I look like my dad?"

"He's not targeting you, Harry. Everything he's done up to this point has been for your mother's sake, and he's too dignified and reserved to tell anyone about it. In fact he never told me his emotions either, He's too independent and tends to work it out on his own. Besides...he doesn't trust me, and I admit I wasn't good enough as Head of Gryffindor before, which exacerbated the house rift...but he wasn't A person who is good at expressing." Dumbledore clasped his hands and shook his head slightly, "If he didn't want to make up for his mistakes, and I forced him to be honest-to be honest, I couldn't trust him at that time-maybe I would never You won't even know that he loves your mother."

No, it's not.Harry wanted to say.He thought of Snape's near collapse the night Dumbledore fell into darkness, he was not as independent and strong as he thought, and maybe he respected Dumbledore a lot more than he was willing to express.But Harry turned his head to stare at Fawkes' nest and said nothing.

"How did you know he loved Lily, Harry? As far as I know, he's very cautious, and he'd put his own memory in a Pensieve when he taught you Occlumency."

Pensieve.Harry stood up, surprised to find that he hadn't thought of the Pensieve. "Professor, can you lend me the Pensieve? I don't know why... I might as well tell you from memory."

He pulled out the memory bit by bit.The silver thing was spinning in the basin, and he and Dumbledore were submerged in it.

This is the first time he looks back on these years from the perspective of an observer.Dumbledore stood without saying a word. He stood beside Dumbledore, watching Sirius enter the curtain, Dumbledore died, Hogwarts was attacked, and the three experienced countless dangers.When he saw Snape dead at the end, he was amazed at how crazy he had looked.But looking at these memories now, he is not as excited as he imagined.He saw the bleak despair on his face when he got back to Hogwarts, saw the memory in memory, Snape telling him that he had to die.

In his memory, Harry was holding the Pensieve, sitting in the corner of Snape's office in a very twisted posture, with a dazed look on his face.Harry stood in front of the table, where he and Snape had just quarreled, looking down at himself in a daze.

Then he saw himself in that position.He said calmly but firmly that he would give up.He looked at Snape's furious face, and suddenly a hand squeezed his shoulder tightly.

He turned around.It was Dumbledore's hand.Dumbledore didn't get angry, just shook his head more firmly than Snape.Harry looked at him, wondering blankly that Dumbledore disagreed with his decision, whether he wanted to be safe like Snape, and asked him not to change anything.But Dumbledore stopped listening to their quarrel.He stood in that memory, looking straight into Harry's eyes, eyes unsharp with unrecognizable emotion: "There will be a better solution, Harry. Get on with your life, don't Think about it."

There was silence as they emerged from the water and returned to the office.The wind was howling outside the window, Harry lowered his head, the headmaster's office was at the highest point of Hogwarts Castle with the Astronomy Tower, the non-stop wind all year round made the whole office extraordinarily lonely in the middle of the night.

"If possible, I would prefer to fight him instead of you. If possible... I will definitely not let you get hurt..." After a long time, Dumbledore murmured.Harry turned his head to see Dumbledore's hand trembling slightly.At this moment, Dumbledore looked extremely old.

"I used to hate you. You let me fight for you, but you avoided me every time it was crucial. I still don't know why." Harry looked at the hand, and lowered it again Head said, "You let me go on a journey full of mystery and danger, and you refused to show your love for me, so that resentment grew in my heart. I know you want to grind me, to make me realize something , but these resentments are there. Even if I notice it, it may take many years, and it may take many things to really understand and really let go."

"I'm sorry, Harry. I should have told you sooner, and it would have hurt you less." Harry looked up sharply, surprised to see Dumbledore crying, "I didn't see that you needed to know this conservative, The complicated and dangerous old man loves you..."

Tears rolled from blue eyes, half-moon lenses fogged.Harry looked at Dumbledore who was crying unabashedly, and after a long silence, he stepped forward and hugged him.

"I forgive you, Professor. I know you love me, and you know I love you, no matter what I've been through. I don't regret my decision to take this path, and my resolve remains the same. I once resented us People who sacrificed everything for it came back to slander us, and it used to feel unworthy, but in the end I think that every individual is different, and that's the cutest thing about being human," said Harry, remembering Snape standing Silent back on the Astronomical Tower, "After I came back, I thought about everything and felt that I understood now. Everything told me that in every happy and bright moment, the poison|drug is like a shadow, and they will always coexist Go on. And we only need to focus on one side... Which side to focus on, how to express our love, in fact, there is no perfect answer. Each of us has our own choice."

"Yes, Harry. Frankly, I am very surprised by what you said." Dumbledore took off his glasses and wiped his eyes.He looked at Harry with some thought in his eyes.

"Harry, I have to admit that you have grown up. You have become more thinking, and thinking brings wisdom, but it also brings more pain. But because of this, you should cherish the things you know you love. People, and people who know how you express love. There is only one thing that is true - since you know that pain can strike again at any time, be honest with the person you love and show your pain. Pain is human It's as natural as breathing."

"I'll remember that, Professor. You've said these words to me once before, only I didn't really understand them that time. But I may be able to do it a little bit now..." said Harry, sitting back in his chair , sorted out my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Professor. I'm still too selfish. You nurtured me and gave me a year to figure everything out on my own, but I failed you. I wanted the time with Sirius so much that I didn't get it in the first place." I'll tell you everything. I was too impulsive...Professor Snape finished...he made it to the end. And I didn't."

"It's not your fault, Harry. Is it too cruel to want a child to take on this responsibility sometimes. You have been so brave, and the love in your heart has kept you on the path fate has set for you ...I don't blame you for that...in fact it's me who should really say sorry, Harry. My love always hurts...'

"I don't really mind these things, Professor," said Harry. "Someone has to sort this out, not me, but someone else. I just think that from the day I entered the wizarding world, my purpose in life seems to be The only thing left is to defeat Voldemort. Everyone's expectations of me, and even my own career planning are all related to Voldemort. If I really win one day, what should I do?"

"When you live to be a hundred years old, you will know that there is life beyond life. Life is like a long ramp, and each of us is on the journey. Until the end, you will never know what lies ahead. What a sight. It's our fault you've been staring at a destination for too long, Harry. But when you finally go beyond it, you'll find a lot of interesting side roads ahead."

"But would I go beyond it?" Harry asked.

"How would you know until the end?" Dumbledore blinked, his eyes washed with tears, clear and clear, "You are still young. Climb the hill, Harry, don't give up. The higher you climb, You can get more, as long as you don't give up, no one can give up on you."

Harry nodded, feeling as though he understood.If life is a never-ending journey, the longer the hard uphill goes on, the farther he sees, and the greater the pleasure of the downhill.Fox lay on his lap, healthy and strong now.

"I don't care about doing it all over again. I don't care how hard it is, how tired, how uncomfortable...as long as I don't leave anyone behind during the journey..." Harry stroked Fox's feathers and murmured.

"That's up to you, Harry. The earliest wizards used to leave notes. In theory, if your companions are exhausted midway, as long as you are strong enough, you can take them to wherever you want." place. This theory is the predecessor of some forbidden potions and horcruxes. But life is like this, there will always be people who keep quitting. Voldemort will go because he can’t see through this and wants to go on this road forever. up to the current situation.”

"I know," said Harry, who understood Dumbledore's warning, "I don't want them to be with me forever. I just don't want them to die because I'm incompetent, because I'm stupid. "

He paused, then continued: "I will work hard, I hate being powerless, I hate hurting others because of my own decision-making mistakes, and I don't even have the power to restore it. I want Professor Snape to teach me black magic ...I want to really do my best to bring down Voldemort, and I won't make the same mistake as last time."

"I'm glad, Harry. I'm glad you've learned to think, and you're no longer taking confrontation as a show of courage. You've really grown up, and I think I'll be very relieved in another period of time "The wise old man smiled mildly, "If you want, Severus will teach you that he values ​​you more than you know or even he knows. But have you really decided? Even with the addition of These days, you're not yet twenty. Get involved yourself, and you're going to have a much harder road than the last one. You're still a kid, Harry. If you—"

"It's my own choice, sir," said Harry quietly.Phoenix's body temperature is higher than that of human beings. In this harsh winter, Phoenix's temperature soothed his heart.The principal is still here, Fox is still here, everyone is here.As long as he thinks of the people who are still alive and still by his side, even if it is a hundred times more difficult and a hundred times more risky, he is willing.

******

It was well past curfew when Harry walked out of the headmaster's office, feeling very hungry.Snape wasn't in the Potions office.He put on the cloak of invisibility and chose a relatively quiet path to the kitchen.The head of the stairs is the dividing point between Slytherin and Hufflepuff, to the left is Hufflepuff's lounge, and to the right down to the ground is Slytherin's territory.Harry hesitated, turned to the right to carefully scent himself, and headed for the stairs.

There was dead silence on this side of the Slytherin.It was like all the students had left the school, like the dead silence in the middle of the night.Harry looked around and opened the door to the potions office in Parseltongue.

It was dark in the room, and there was no one there.Harry walked over to Snape's armchair, took off his shoes and curled up in it.There were some papers scattered on the table, and there was a vague, faint cool aura around him. If you carefully identify it, it might be the smell of Snape.He'd smelled it before on Snape when he'd been whacked by Snape's knee, when he'd Apparated from Privet Drive to Hogsmeade.Now this faint potion smell made him feel very calm.

He propped his head up and lazily picked up the paper on the table with one hand.Seven stacks of parchment were neatly arranged on the left side of the table, which were homework for Potions classes for Years [-] to [-].But the piece of paper he picked up was not.

Harry lit the tip of his wand and looked at the papers carefully.Snape checked and crossed some places violently.He couldn't understand many of the words on it, but he knew it was Snape's soul research notes, and he had been trying to destroy the soul tablet on his forehead.The last time he didn't have much time and couldn't finish it in time, he said firmly and refused to make any changes, but he continued it to this time.

Harry pressed his face to the table and found himself missing Snape terribly.It was just a simple miss, but he was going crazy thinking about it.He missed Snape's silence, his black eyes, his every expression.Although he and Snape had never been able to communicate peacefully and reach an agreement, although Snape was as hard as a rock, although Snape could irritate everyone very quickly every time, at least he was so irritated that he forgot everything. Harry enjoyed the security he felt with Snape.Snape would not betray him, Snape had no secrets from him - Severus Snape was the person Harry Potter trusted most in the world.They value each other, they fight each other, they fight constantly, but they think of each other in every action.Although his life is doomed to be short, how lucky he is to find someone who lives only for him, and who he can trust with all his heart.

The author has something to say: I can't grasp Dumbledore well, and I have to ask you to lower your standards and let it go, laugh.

Most of the lines in this chapter are from "The Cursed Child".To be honest, the performance of Harry in his 30s in this book makes me a little surprised.He's still clumsy and inarticulate, and his interactions with Dumbledore and Albus Severus make me...well, but Harry is still Harry.

I hope that Harry can grow enough and fully mature so that he and SS can support each other.Both of them are too stubborn, and SS is not a person who can handle interpersonal relationships well.So I thought about it and brought those words to the fore, still learning how to love people into my 30s, it's a bit late to want to be with SS.I hope that Harry in this article will mature slowly, not so heroic, not so selfless.In the original book, Xiao Ha tends to sacrifice himself. For the sake of justice and the future of more people, he endures everything that is imposed on him, and he has all emotions, but these emotions will not shake him too much.I want Harry to be less wanting to die, more afraid, and resentful than in the book, but his sense of responsibility makes him know what he has to do, and he will.In the end, he will figure it out by himself when he chooses.This Harry is more like us ordinary people.There is definitely no way to fully wake up this chapter. This article... I also feel very sweaty.Let's continue later.This week, I may share my own thoughts in the later chapters of many chapters...not so many, Khan.I’m just so wordy at this age, Erha and SS made me prematurely aging.