[SSHP] End of life

"Severus, you can try to be nice to him. You've prejudiced him too much... Open your eyes and see the real Harry. You already know what he was like before he went to school, he Not living in pursuit like you think—”

Snape turned to stare at Dumbledore.His face was pale, only his eyes were black and shiny.

Harry thought he was going to growl the next moment.

After a few seconds of silence, however, Snape's voice was calm and mocking: "But that hasn't stopped him from being just as annoying a megalomaniac as his father."

Harry gasped wildly in the dream until he woke up with a start.

He opened his eyes, and there was a dark wall in front of him. The faint light of the street lamp shot in from his messily nailed window and hit the wall.Harry looked at the spots of light, and didn't really wake up until half a minute later.

More than half of his summer vacation has passed.Ever since time went back to the age of 13, he was not used to seeing everyone's faces, and it was not until a few days ago that he fully felt the reality.These days, because his Occlumency had improved so much inexplicably, he could no longer be connected to Voldemort's brain if he didn't want to.Instead, dream.Sometimes he dreamed all night long, some times memories of Snape he'd seen, some memories of himself, some strange delusions.

Harry sat up.His sleep quality is very poor because of continuous dreams, and he can't wake up all the time. He has been going to bed early these days, but once he wakes up, it is difficult to fall asleep again.He cleaned himself up and went back to the bedroom to sit on the floor.He had only eaten a very small piece of grapefruit the night before, and woke up feeling very hungry, so he gently pried open the floor and pulled out a large piece of cake.Dudley was next to him, snoring loudly in his sleep.In this summer, Dudley was forced to go on a diet.

Some things had changed and others hadn't - Harry didn't know which things were mutable and which weren't.He was very scared.

Cream clings to his hand, he notices it and licks the cool, stiff stuff off.He stared at his hands, which were very clean.But they were trembling and cold, their hearts beating wildly.He cast his eyes on the scattered spots of light on the surface of the floor, thankful once again that the holiday is almost over.Not just because he passed his 14th birthday and the magic was starting to improve again, not just because he could leave Privet Drive soon and be back at school, but because Snape - he didn't know what he was doing What, is there more danger in places he can't see.He couldn't bring himself not to think about him.

Even though he has been back for so long, sometimes he is still in a trance, and more often he wakes up from the nightmare of the past.But now, away from the wizarding world, if he wanted to see Snape, he could only rely on dreams that he didn't know good or bad every night.Many times he just dreamed that he was in class, stirring a potion he didn't know at all, and Snape was walking slowly in the classroom full of oppression.No communication, no casualties, he felt that was enough—and because of this, he didn't really stop these dreams even though he was getting more and more emaciated every day.

He spent weeks ruminating on Snape's relationship with him.After suffering for so long, he finally arrived in his own world. So many people said he was the Boy Who Lived, and almost everyone paid attention to him and had more kindness towards him.He no longer has to worry about going hungry, or being bullied and no one will believe him.He had friends, professors and even the headmaster turned a blind eye to his unruly behavior...all of which made him act boldly.

Reckless, arrogant - in a way, Snape was right about him.

It is undeniable that he actually thinks that he is somewhat different, because he has a mission that only he can complete.Although this kind of mission occasionally makes him fearful and annoying, but because he is more afraid of being alone and longs to be surrounded by many people, he will not delve into the real reason why those people treat him specially.He also craved the limelight on the Quidditch pitch, maybe that was what Snape saw as pushy - but he just didn't want to be left out anymore, he craved friends.When he was ignored by Gryffindors again and again, he thought it was a betrayal, and he also resented.When the classmates and friends reconciled as before, he heard the apology, felt sincerity and friendship, and everything was not worth being angry.

He admitted being emotional - some might call it tolerant, but he was by no means as miserable as Snape had seen him be.Although those shortcomings really exist in him.If he got to know him a little bit, Snape would know that the so-called savior would also be afraid, not confident, and reflect on his own shortcomings. He would also know that Harry was just used to everyone hearing his name Always surprised, and then the first time to see the scar on his head.He's just used to it, but never liked it.This makes him feel very uncomfortable.

But Snape never gave him the chance.

And it wasn't that he didn't give Snape a chance.It's just that this opportunity is far from being sincere, it's more like the last straw chosen by Dumbledore.If he wasn't alone at the time, he would never have asked him to save Sirius.The ending was a matter of course: the opportunity was easily snuffed out amid deep-seated mistrust.It wasn't until Snape killed Dumbledore that nothing could be undone.

He could now understand why Dumbledore hesitated to speak so many times.Dumbledore abided by the agreement with Snape and could not tell him the truth about Snape, but at the same time he did not give up, and has been doing his best to try to make Harry trust Snape.But Harry never looked for the truth about the people he hated, and Dumbledore couldn't reveal enough.

Before leaving school, the Heads routinely put their students on the Hogwarts Express.There were always fewer students in Slytherin, and he was soon alone on Snape's side.And Gryffindor has always been relatively unorganized, and they are the slowest of the four houses every year.After hesitating for a long time, Harry finally decided to go around to Snape before boarding the train and say goodbye to him.

"Goodbye, Professor," he said earnestly.He expected Snape to say something like "I think I'll have a good holiday because you're not giving me trouble" or "Golden Boys' brains are broken" with a disgusted look on his face, after all everyone knew that Snape Knepe hated him, and because he had caught the Snitch, Slytherin had missed the House Cup again, and he should have made up his mind not to run up to him and get in the way of his eyes.But Snape glanced at him, neither surprised nor disgusted, but just ignored him, turned and walked away.

After saying that farewell, Harry felt the heart that had been hanging in the air suddenly fell into place.He watched the back of the man in black, and finally realized the reason why he wanted to say goodbye to Snape no matter what: he was always afraid that, like what he experienced not long ago, there were many people who hadn't said goodbye Farewell.

His greatest fear now was losing Snape.Every time he sees the black man, the sticky and gradually cold touch will revive on his hands. He has seen many deaths, but this is the first time that he has seen such a close range and such a complete process.Unlike the momentary events of Cedric and Hedwig, Snape's death was so slow and painful.He felt a deeper fear than the pain, because he realized that it was not Snape who was afraid of the pain, but him.He realized that he might be the only person in the world who really cared about Snape's safety, and if there was anyone Snape could ever form a closer relationship with after ten years of isolation, it could only be he.He couldn't ignore Snape.

Great, Harry thought.Hermione once commented that his nature wanted to save everything. On the side of the white wizard, Snape had always been the only exception under this nature, but now he has become the most special one.

Harry swallowed the last bite of cake, kicking the book next to him as he stood up.It was "Hogwarts, A History", Hermione's favorite book, but he hadn't read it carefully.He's going to watch it now.There were still some books on the floor beside the bed, the top one being The Theory of the Charm System, with a letter from Sirius next to it.

Sirius sent the tropical bird to deliver letters several times, and this time he recovered well after not being attacked by the dementors.He had been working hard to make Harry aware of it.Harry picked up the letter.

He hadn't seen Sirius since his return.He missed him terribly, and although Sirius wasn't right for the Snape he was determined to protect, those were small things.Both Sirius and Lupine would live, and he would let them live.He loves them despite their many mistakes.

Those are truly egregious mistakes that cannot be glorified at all.He had seen those years in Snape's memory, and because of it, he no longer adored his father.His father was a bully, and from what Snape remembered, Harry had a hard time seeing kindness in James.His father was no different from the children who had bullied him as children, and they had done the same to Snape.And because they are wizards, these bullies are even more dangerous.

James is popular with Gryffindor - the initial friendship formed by taunting Snape together on the train has become extraordinarily strong over time.For the unrestrained but arrogant Gryffindor, how good they are to their friends is how merciless they can be to their enemies.

He had also been briefly disappointed in James after he had peeked at Snape's Pensieve.But Lupine told him that young people make mistakes.This sentence was once regarded as a standard by him, and he forgave almost all the mistakes of his parents and even himself.The statement itself was extremely unfair, but Lupine was not wrong, he just wanted to comfort him.He needed forgiveness then.He needs a father, needs to feel loved.He needs his father to be the perfect hero.

He still needs to be loved now, but he's grown up.After experiencing all that, he began to learn to really focus on himself and learn to love others.Some mistakes are harmless, and some mistakes may affect other people's lives. He calmly understands this.He knew that his father must have had a lot of shining points that could not be erased, maybe he was very gentle with others, and the only person he had ever hurt in his life was Snape.But that doesn't take away from the fact that part of him isn't a nice guy.And the fact that he owed Snape.James Potter owes Snape, Harry Potter owes Snape.Lily Potter owed Snape.The Potter family owed Snape a lot.And he had to admit to himself that he and Snape were so different - yet in some ways they were so similar.

Harry decided to completely shut down his brain before going to bed, he didn't want to dream anymore.There are enough of these dreams.In just a few days, he would receive a letter that the Weasleys were about to invite him to watch the Quidditch World Cup. He had to get up early, and a poor rest would make him collapse.And he had to remember to remind them not to come in through the fireplace this time.

******

Four days later, in the residence at 4 Privet Drive, the atmosphere was at its peak.A wizard will soon be visiting their home, making the Dursleys irritable and nervous.

At ten past five, Harry walked down the hall with his luggage, snickering to discover that Uncle Vernon had once again put on his best suit, and was going to the mirror every minute to straighten his tie .Aunt Petunia was pacing up and down the living room, her thin face full of anger, and she had hardly eaten anything for dinner.

Dudley was sitting in a small corner of the living room.He moved his hips restlessly in the chair, and this time he showed no particular hostility towards the wizards, because Harry deliberately ate a few of them on the lawn under Dudley's window on his first day home. Chocolate Frog, and perfectly told him to see the whole process.Every two or three days during the long, diet-heavy weeks of summer, Harry would slip a chocolate frog or two through his door.

The first time he did it, Harry expected Dudley to scream and complain in shock and rage.But when Harry knocked on the door and asked if he had seen his frog, Dudley just yelled that he didn't see it, and told Harry to get out of the way.Fortunately, this kid also knows how to eat people and has a short mouth. This summer, when Harry tried his best to reduce his sense of existence, he hardly received any pranks from Dudley.

After returning to the age of 14, Harry's mind is much more peaceful.He found that Petunia and Vernon hated wizards very much. They could find fault with wizards from head to toe, but insisted that Mr. Weasley come to Privet Drive to pick up Harry. "If you can't see anyone, you don't want to take half a step out of the bedroom, you kid who eats inside and outside."

Five minutes later, there was a polite knock on the door.Harry breathed a sigh of relief.He opened the door. It was Mr. Weasley, wearing the Muggle clothes that Harry had asked Hedwig to bring him.Those were Dudley's clothes, too bulky for Mr Weasley, but at least they were better than his green robes.Harry smiled at him, and Uncle Vernon stepped forward with Aunt Petunia, puffing out his chest courageously.

"Hello, Harry." Mr. Weasley said, adjusted his glasses, stepped forward and stretched out his right hand, "Ah - you must be Harry's aunt and uncle!"

Uncle Vernon seemed to have wanted to entertain Mr. Weasley in the hall for a while.But because of that hand, he immediately forgot his original thoughts.He stared at Mr. Weasley's right hand, his eyeballs seemed to pop out, and within five seconds his face had turned purple.In the end, he didn't have the courage to take Mr. Weasley's hand, although there was no doubt that it was human.

"All right," said Mr. Weasley.He stood outside the door slightly waving his withdrawn hand in embarrassment, desperately trying to find a suitable word to break the uncomfortable silence. "It's very—well—very beautiful where you live."

Harry almost laughed.Uncle Vernon was wearing his best suit, but Mr. Weasley couldn't appreciate the suit at all, and it certainly didn't deter him.Mr. Weasley, on the other hand, although his trousers were fat and dangling, as long as he stood in front of Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon's bulk would shrink to a peanut.

"Here is my luggage, Mr. Weasley, let's go." Harry carried the luggage to the door, and suggested kindly, he didn't want to see the Dursleys continue to struggle, "Then... goodbye." He said explain.And shut the door himself before Mr. Weasley saw the Dursleys' reaction.

The author has something to say: I was happy too early yesterday, but today I am not going well again, laughing.It turns out that I'm just not good at talking, self-examination, memory killing, etc., lol.Fortunately, Erha can't get entangled too many times, so he doesn't have to pay attention to himself.

Although the writing is not smooth, I don't want you to just read things that I am not satisfied with, and I want to run the plot, but I thought about this chapter for a long time, and decided not to cut it down.Owen Yalom said that only when a man can live like an eagle, without any audience, can he turn adoringly to another.Only then can one be concerned with the growth of another being.That's why I didn't delete it. This is how I understand it. Many people can find their other half, but there must be differences in how people feel about their other half.If you want to care about another person, you must first care about yourself and understand yourself, so that you will not use another person for comfort, but grow together.Don't use your other half as a shield against loneliness, setbacks and all kinds of unhappiness. Accept your loneliness and inadequacies, so that you can truly love each other, and complementarity is the real complementarity.Erha, if he still can’t accept his own imperfection, his loneliness and weakness, or his concern for others, he can’t love others as a complete person.

Then talk about the Patronus Charm.Most wizards can't summon the Patronus, so those who can summon the Patronus are very powerful. ...In other words, I don't think Umbridge is too powerful.Sometimes wizards will deliberately summon a formless patron saint in order to conceal the form of their patron saint. At this time, its ability will be weakened and it will only have a certain protective effect.The patron saint represents an unknown and hidden important part of a wizard's personality, which means that the wizard may not even imagine that he will summon a certain animal.Some people do not hide their true nature in daily life, and the patron saint summoned may be considered normal by everyone. He is such a person.Some people hide their true nature, and others may see that his characteristics may not match his patron saint.Some wizards directly hide their patron saints.Encounters with such wizards should be treated with caution.

Finally, talk about your likes and dislikes.I don't like James very much, but such a person may be very nice to a buddy.I wouldn't approach such a person anyway.I support the theory of sexual evil. Children may be particularly cruel when they explore the world, but as they grow up, they will become more and more relaxed. Even if more children may abuse animals, they will generally not start with people.I always thought there was something really wrong with James.Then, my least favorite thing in the whole book is Lupine.I can't say I don't like it, I just can't like it.I can understand and feel that others are good, but I just can't like them.

The last daily confession to Sirius.